Scars
by Jazz09
Summary: Bella is in a deeply abusive relationship, while Edward is lost after the death of his girlfriend. Can they overcome the past and save each other?
1. No Love

**A/N**: ok so this is the first time I ever post anything online…. I'm nervous but I wanted to share this story with all of you… let me know what you think ok? Thanks! Also every chapter will have a song that goes with it. You can look it up on YouTube. Have fun reading! **So after a very long day at school… I re-read this and edited… so enjoy!!!**

**Disclaimer**: We all know who these characters belong to…. **Stephenie Meyer** you are a genius!!!

**Chapter Song**: No Love – Simple Life

**No Love**

"There's only hate,

There's only tears

There's only pain,

There is no love here"

**BPOV:**

"You promise?" he asked as he looked at me with a serious face but with eyes full of hope. In my mind, all I could hear, and all I wanted to answer was _I hate you, I hate you!_ But what I verbalized was something soothing and soft. "I promise honey" I said as I pretended to look at him in the face. I was really looking at the door that was at the end of the hallway just behind him.

As usual, I promised him that I would change the way I was acting towards him because according to him, I needed to change "a few things" to prove to him that I loved him. _Yeah… as if!_ "Ok, thank you" he said. I felt like crying but I knew better than that.

I was used to the gut wrenching feeling that I felt when he touched me, when he told me he loved me. I expected that feeling, and when I felt it, I knew that at least he was, if not happy, calm. When he was calm, it meant that the storm was over, even if it was just for a few hours or even minutes.

I noticed that not one of the members of my family was aware of the argument that had just taken place in that sofa. We were sitting in the sofa "watching a movie" with my parents and obviously they were really into it if they hadn't noticed anything. I tried to joke to keep the tears from spilling "You got it dude!" I said, referring to the _Full House_ line delivered by baby Michelle. That got a laugh from him and I produced a tight smile. "Well I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow ok?" he asked, getting up from the sofa to leave. "Ok" I said keeping that stupid smile plastered on my face. "Walk me out" he said. I followed quietly behind, hating the next part of the routine.

The little hallways that led to the front door of my house was dark and I immediately wanted to turn the lights on, but I knew that I would have to walk back towards the living room and he would get mad at me for "walking away", so I just kept on walking. He stopped before he reached the door and turned to look at me with a soft smile on his face. "Good night" he whispered.

In my mind I wondered if he thought I was happy, or if he saw through the show that I was putting, or if he even cared about my happiness. I also knew the answer to those questions… but I still wondered.

He leaned towards me and puckered his lips. I closed my eyes and stayed in place until his lips came in contact with mine. I hated him with all of my heart and I wanted to slap him for having the nerve to touch me, but I just stood still, closing my eyes, and let him kiss me. _Might as well get it over with_ I told myself. As his lips touched mine, I stood with my hands at my side, and my fist closed tight_. He has GOT to know that I hate doing this… he's just playing stupid!_ He felt me unresponsive, and he wrapped his arms around my waist trying to deepen the kiss and at the same time picking up the t-shirt I was wearing. I immediately felt the bulge grow under his jeans, but this was no surprise. It was what happened every night.

I immediately pushed him off and scolded him "stop, my parents are going to catch us!" he laughed and didn't even looked preoccupied. I opened the door and led him outside. "Good night" I said trying to sound sleepy and tired, just as I did every time he came over. "Bye" he said and he turned to leave. I didn't wait for him to even get to his car; I just closed the door and let out a sigh.

I said good night to Renee and Charlie, my parents, and I ran upstairs. I went through my night routine, blocking all thoughts from my mind. As I hummed to "Here It Goes Again" by OK Go, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, put on my pajamas, which consisted of neon pink and orange boxer shorts and a black spaghetti shirt. As I walked in my room I turned on the light leaving everything ready for the next day. (Not that my outfit needed any planning!!!). After that I hit the lights.

I sat on my bed, grabbed my cover, laid it on top of me, and pulled my laptop on my lap. As I typed the log in password and lay back, I released another sigh. Finally I was back in the comfort of my room. I was finally happy as I peacefully read a short story about a girl whose parents had died in a car accident and was now all alone without any relatives. When I finished I closed my laptop and lay in bed as I analyzed my own life.

I wasn't a normal teenager. I was 18 years old and still lived at home. I wanted to move away to go to college, but of course my mom had freaked when I took her with me to a campus tour of the university I wanted to go to, I can only imagine what she would do if I actually left. And let's not even talk about James! I really think he would rather see me dead than away from him.

So here I was, the only girl from my graduating class at Forks High School who didn't move away from home. Instead, I went to Port Angeles Community College, which sounded fancier than what it really was. It looked just like another high school, nothing like a college, making me feel even more of a loser for being stuck there. _Yeah… welcome to my life_!

Even at this age, my parents had full control of my life. To say that my parents were strict was an understatement. I wasn't allowed to go out without their permission, not that I ever went out, but I used to. _When I could_. I was also responsible for chores at home, which included cooking, cleaning all the rooms, dusting, cleaning the restrooms, and lets' not forget, also cleaning the backyard. I had a car but only used it to go to school and come back home, and I had to be at home 35 minutes after my class ended, otherwise they thought I was skipping school and would come home a pregnant teenager. If I ever drove out to Port Angeles, I had to notify them of it a week in advance so that they would think about it. _Yeah… it was that bad_!

Well at least I was allowed to have a boyfriend_. Not that I wanted this one anyways_.

For 2 years and 5 months, I had been dating James, a member of my church. I think that that was the only reason why Renee and Charlie didn't say much about him. He was a boy who went to church, had a job, and seemed pretty nice and formal when talking to other adults. I started remembering how we had met and how everything was at the beginning. I had thought he was a very caring guy and the fact that he loved carrying babies and playing with them at church, only made my heart melt. I always thought that guys who were single and still carried babies were the cutest ones and the ones more apt to be good husbands. We would greet each other at church with a smile. He was always a gentleman and seemed very polite. After that it was all simple really; he came to talk to my parents without even telling me of his plans. We got the blessing from my parents so that we could date, and that was that. I now knew how much I regretted ever laying eyes on him. He would be the death of me for sure. I would die a slow and torturous death and the only one to blame would be him. Only I know who the real James is.

As the night went on, the memories started getting darker and darker. I thought about who James really is. Let's begin with the physical aspects. Yeah he's good looking. He is the average Abercrombie model from head to toe. He has blonde hair and light skin color, his arms are strong and he has a soft smile that makes girls turn to goo when he uses it upon them. Personality wise, he's amicable and gets along well with everybody. He has many friends, and easily makes new ones. He's charming and well-spoken when needed. But those are the qualities that everyone sees. The person I see every day is a monster.

James is a jealous person, _and that's putting it in soft words_! He acts more like a needy baby if you ask me. He's controlling, and manipulative, when he doesn't get what he wants; he throws a fit the size of Texas to say the least. I'm sure he had a problem with alcohol at some point in time, since he was fired from a job for drinking the Vodka he was supposed to be serving the customers. He had also been a womanizer before he met me. Sometimes I wonder if he still is; not that I care if he finds someone else, as a matter of fact, that would be a blessing from heaven. He is so well-spoken that he has the ability to twist any demand of his to make it look like a soft plea, or a soft, loving request coming from a caring boyfriend. James also thinks I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever come across, but he doesn't fool me. He is not in love with me as he swears he is. He is clearly in love with the girl I am in his head.

That girl that James loved didn't need anyone but James. That girl could not breathe without James. She was submissive and did everything he asked of her. She only wore t-shirts, hoodies, jeans, and tennis shoes. She wore little or no make-up at all. That girl never got a haircut because short hair was a disgrace to a girl and made her look like a man. That girl didn't even look at other guys. As a matter of fact that girl didn't acknowledge anyone but James.

Yeah, that was the girl James was trying to turn me into; and he was slowly and painfully succeeding. I was a completely different person from the one I used to be. Even through my strict parents, I still went out to hang out with the girls, now I no longer had friends and I never went out. My relationship with my parents that had once been one filled with laughter but now seemed to diminish right before my eyes. Back then, I was always talking to my mom or hanging out in the library we had at home, but now, when I wasn't cleaning, I preferred staying in my room the whole day just listening to music or reading. My mom now thought I was boring and that I should socialize more, but I didn't care. Nothing was really worth the effort.

As I lay there, the tears started spilling. I wondered how I could have been so stupid. How it had all come to this and what had I done to deserve the life that I lived now. I had lost my grip on life and now I didn't know what to do. James had me in the palm of his hand with his threats of letting everyone know the truth. He knew that I would stay with him. That secret would break my family apart and it would kill me. Where none of his harsh words or his continued mistreatments was able to break me down, the disclosure of that one secret surely would. I was mentally and physically tired and every night as I lay back and analyzed my life, I hoped for his death or my death. _Yeah… you know it's bad when you want your boyfriend dead. _

I closed my eyes and I thought instead about the future, trying to forget that James existed. It was spring and I was starting my second semester of college tomorrow and I was nervous. My insecurities always got the best of me and for that reason I had always hated the first day of class. I specially hated the whole "introduce yourself" thing that I thought was so elementary school but whatever. I also hated the feeling that people were staring at me. Back then, I'll admit, I enjoyed the attention, but not anymore. I was sure that what everyone saw now was this ugly girl who clearly didn't have a sense of style. I quickly changed my thoughts to something more positive. I thought about the classes I was taking this semester and I silently prayed that none of my professors were too full of themselves to help me if I had problems. But of course I couldn't forget about James even if I tried. I just knew that with the new semester, came a whole new set of fights with him, and I really wasn't looking forward to that. I knew that the moment I talked to him tomorrow after school he would bring on the Spanish Inquisition about who was in my classes and if I had talked to anyone. I could already hear all of his questions and I would bet anybody a hundred bucks that he wouldn't disappoint.

Through the sea of tears, sleep finally got to me and I didn't wake up until the next morning.

**A/N:** So what did you guys think? Should I keep going? I have one more chapter finished but before I post I want to hear what you have to say about it.


	2. Broken

**A/N: First of all I want to say that writing in Edward's point of view is a challenge and I admire all of you who embrace that challenge extraordinarily. Congrats!! Also please comment…. I really want to know what's going on in your head… thanks. Next, just a warning**: **this chapter contains underage drinking so you've been warned.**

**Disclaimer**: all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer as you all know already… right?

**Chapter Song**: Broken – Seether Ft. Amy Lee

**Broken**

"Because I'm broken, when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

Because I'm broken, when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away"

**EPOV:**

I was sitting in my bed with the lights off and my iPod deck on. I looked around the room and towards the outside window but it was all dark. Inside the house it was warm because my mom had the heater on, but outside it was cold, even for spring.

I finished the last bit of Bacardi that I had taken from the liquor stash my parents kept in the cellar, and I placed the bottle on the night stand to my right. I was finally feeling a little buzzed and calm enough to be without music and alone with my thoughts.

I made sure the alarm was set for tomorrow morning, and then I turned the iPod off. I didn't feel like lying down yet so I just sat there with my eyes closed and thinking.

I always wondered how my family looked to the world outside, and what the impression that everyone had of me was.

They probably think I'm some stuck up rich prick who feels like I'm above everyone else.

Yeah they were right about one thing; I was a rich kid.

We were a family of money. My dad was a big time surgeon and my mom a pretty successful interior designer. We all had good cars. My dad drove a Mercedes, my mom and my sister Alice both had Audi's and I had a black BMW. We all dressed in designer's clothes and our home definitely looked like one that you only see in the Ikea catalogs.

Socially, we are very out there in this small town. My parents are often invited to parties thrown by his coworkers and on more than one occasion my dad has also hosted a party himself. We get along pretty well with our neighbors, the Newtons, and the Webbers. They both have teenage kids but they just left for college. I had met them when we recently moved to Forks. Angela Webber was a very sweet girl but a little too shy. Mike Newton was ok, just a little full of himself if I may say so.

All in all, we looked like a happy family.

When the doors close though, our family is something totally different.

We aren't the rich happy family that we portray, instead we are broken and I was the one to blame for all of it. _Well, at least I was broken_. My parents never said anything about it after the funeral, and Alice, my sister, knew that if she wanted to stay on my good grace, that she could never bring up Tanya into our conversations.

It was just too painful.

As I sat there on my bed, I allowed myself to remember what had happened that dreadful night_. I was so stupid_! I was the one responsible for everything that had happened.

I remember the face of Tanya's parents at the funeral. They were so devastated. I wouldn't have gone, but my dad had told me that if I didn't go I would regret it later, and when I thought about it, I decided he was right so I went.

I wore a black suit with a black button up shirt on the inside, with a shiny black tie. On the front pocket of my jacket I wore an emerald green handkerchief because that was Tanya's favorite color.

Earlier that week, when all of the funeral arrangements were being made, Carmen, Tanya's adoptive mom had asked me if I wanted to say something at the funeral, but I had kindly declined. I wasn't strong enough. And what would I say? _Oh yeah… I'm the reason why your daughter is dead_.

Once I was there, I held myself together. On the outside I looked serious and not _one_ tear ran through my face. I listened intently as Irina; Tanya's sister spoke, then her parents, and then her best friend, Kate. They were all crushed.

At the funeral there were a lot people from school that both Tanya and I knew. Even teachers attended the funeral. I caught some of our class mates giving me side glances as if they were expecting me to say something. But I couldn't; not when I knew I was the one to fucking blame for my girl's death. I just sat there next to my family, listening, taking everyone's memories in, and memorizing every detail of what was said about Tanya's short lived life.

When the ceremony ended everyone was allowed to pay their last respects to Tanya's body. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't look at her like that.

I rushed outside to my mom's car and Alice came out after me. The doors to the car were locked, and I was at the edge of breaking down so I just put my hands on my knees, looking at the floor, and started taking deep breaths. Alice was quiet and patted me softly on my back.

"How am I supposed to do that Alice?" I asked her. My voice was rough and I could almost hear the tears in it. "I can't just walk in there and look at her like that? What do I do?" Alice was quiet for a little bit longer, then she grabbed my chin and pulled me up, forcing me to look at her. "I know how hard this must be for you Edward" she said, "but imagine how much harder it is for her parents and her sister" she looked at me with sympathy and pleading eyes. I just stared at her, knowing that she was right. "I know you loved Tanya and this is your last chance to tell her just that" she said quietly, "that you love her".

Yeah… I loved Tanya, and now she was gone.

I felt empty and broken. I knew that I would not resurface from this loss but it was ok, I deserved every inch of misery that I lived through.

After the funeral was over, so was my life.

I used to be a popular kid at school. I was smart, and had perfect grades. I was in the football team and in the baseball team. I had a lot of friends and a lot of girls who would throw themselves at me like a piece of meat. I was a happy cheery kid.

But all that had changed after Tanya's death.

I became the kid that never laughed, who never took the time to really listen to anybody unless it was my parents or Alice. I finished my senior year through correspondence, and graduated with honors. I had been granted a scholarship to go to Harvard to study law, but I refused to accept it; there were other kids who need it and would actually appreciate it. I could care less about school. I didn't care about anything actually.

I went through the motions of life for my parent's sake and especially for Alice's sake. I just couldn't take that heartbroken face she would make whenever she would try to cheer me up and saw that I was practically dead while I was still breathing. Alice was the only one I had ever talked to about Tanya, and she had listened and said nothing. But that only happened once. After that I told her to never bring the damn subject up ever again, and she hadn't.

I missed Tanya so much, I missed her laugh, her touch, her devious smile, her long straight hair, and I missed all of her.

As I lie in bed, one lone tear sheds from my eye.

I still can't believe how one damn night had changed all of my life, and all of my family's life.

It happened almost two months before we graduated from high school and a week away from prom. Tanya and I had been dating for a year now and we were going to celebrate our anniversary that night.

She had called me earlier to tell me that she had finally finished doing her shopping for prom. She sounded so happy and so excited about the whole thing. I was too, but I wasn't going to start jumping up and down like a fucking chick even if I felt like doing so. I was truly happy.

We were going to meet up at six thirty at her parent's house, but I wanted to get the Tiffany's box that had been delivered earlier that week at my house, wrapped in other boxes so that it would take Tanya longer to find the necklace I had bought her. I called her around six as I was finishing getting ready and told her to meet me at the restaurant instead and she agreed. Before she hung up, a soft kiss and "I love you" came out of her mouth. I chuckled and hung up.

I went to get the present wrapped and noticed I still had time so I stopped at a store were they sold a bunch of shit that girls for some reason find cute. I bought her some flowers and a card. _I know I was so whipped, it wasn't even funny_.

When I finally saw the restaurant name "Bella Italia" around the corner, I also saw the ambulance and the police car there at the entrance. I felt a gut-wrenching pain as I pulled up at the parking lot. I saw somebody thrown on the floor, surrounded by paramedics that were attending whoever it was. When I paid close attention to see who it was, I noticed it was Tanya.

I threw myself out of the car pushing other people out of the way. I kneeled down and took her left hand. Tanya was still breathing and the paramedics were plugging tubes on her arm and putting an oxygen mask on her face. As I leaned closer to her she told me who it was that had hurt her.

She rode the ambulance that had taken her to the hospital. When we got there she was rushed to the ER and finally the reality of what happened hit me. _Shit, shit, shit!_ I called my parents because I knew Tanya's parents were with them since they often hung out together. Twenty minutes later they arrived at the hospital just as a doctor came out to explain how Tanya was doing.

She had been shot and the bullet went through her right lung, and they were doing everything they could to save her.

As Tanya's mom started crying, while her husband hugged her, and my family consoled her, Carlisle, my dad, went to talk to the doctor. He would understand more thoroughly about Tanya's condition. I followed him and he didn't complain. He knew I loved Tanya and that I was now hanging on a very thin thread.

The doctor told Carlisle that Tanya was in very critical condition and that even though they were doing everything they could, that it was better if we were prepared for the worse possible outcome.

One hour later, Tanya was pronounced dead.

The one who had hurt her was her ex-boyfriend, Marcus, whom she had broken up with a while before she started dating me. He was an abusive asshole who obviously had attachment issues and was driving her insane. She had told me all about him when we had been dating for about five months. I couldn't believe some of the things that idiot had done to her, but I listened. She had told me that he had left her alone after she threatened to put a restraining order on him. He never tried to even talk to her again so we never thought about it. _If I would've done something, she would still be here_.

I informed the police of what she had told me, but he was nowhere to be found.

A week after the funeral I started receiving threats from that bastard. When my parents informed the police they had recommended that we change addresses and so we did. We left everything we knew behind. We left our friends, our schools, our neighbors, everything behind. The only thing we brought with us, were our memories, and that was what I least wanted right now.

No one knew we were moving, we just disappeared without telling anyone and we moved to the small town of Forks Washington.

Two months after we had moved, we received a call from the detective assigned to Tanya's case. He called to tell us that Marcus, Tanya's ex had called the police himself and told them where he was. He confessed to killing Tanya and when the cops arrived at his hiding place, he killed himself. But I didn't care, the damage was done, and I wasn't getting Tanya back.

That summer I spent it locked in my room listening to music and looking at pictures that I had saved on my laptop. I was broken and started drinking more often. My parents had tried to make me see a shrink but I refused and they didn't press the issue. I didn't need to talk to anyone, and I didn't need anyone's pity. I was the one to blame for Tanya's death and no one would convince me otherwise.

Tomorrow I was starting my second semester at Port Angeles Community College. _Yeah, like I cared_. I was a smart kid and normally didn't have trouble with school so it didn't make me nervous at all to start a new semester.

I was already getting knocked out when I heard a knock on my door.

"What do you want Alice?" she just chuckled. "Can I come in please?" she begged. She always came into my room late at night just to talk to me. My sister knew that I wasn't coping well but she never said anything that would get me upset. I loved her and I knew I was hurting her by being so miserable, so I usually put up with her silly ideas.

I wasn't worried about the empty battle of Bacardi, she wouldn't rat me out. She was a cool sister. "Fine" I said. She walked in and turned on a lamp. The light bothered me but I didn't complain. "You didn't save any for me?" she joked as she sat at the edge of my bed, eyeing the empty bottle on my night stand. She was wearing her pink pajamas, which I'm pretty sure she got at Victoria's Secret. _That damn store was like Alice's paradise._

With great effort, I gave her a simple smile while I leaned over to the night stand grabbing the empty battle of Bacardi. I handed her the empty bottle, "it's all yours" I said. She stuck her tongue out through the side of her mouth. She looked so funny when she did dad. Her tiny body only seemed to get funnier looking when she made faces.

"What do you want?" I asked her, trying to sound annoyed but happy that she hadn't given up on me just yet. "Shouldn't you be in bed already, you have school tomorrow" I told her.

She was a year younger than me and was a senior at Forks High School. From what she had told me, she loved living in small town, where she knew everybody. "I want to go shopping" she whined. _Oh yeah I forgot_. That's the only thing she hates… the town of Forks has a limited variety of stores to shop and so does Port Angeles.

I usually went with her to Seattle because it made her happy and it also made my parents happy to see that I was acting normal. They didn't have to know that I was miserable still.

"We'll go shopping this weekend ok?" I told her offering a small smile. She threw herself at me in a hug "ooohhh thank you, thank you, I love you" she said jumping up and down. "Ok! Now go to bed you minx, or you won't be able to get up early and do your damn hair tomorrow, and then you'll go to school looking like a damn scary clown" I joked. "Hmm… never!" she said and with that she moved to walk out of my room.

When she reached the door she stopped and looked at me with a small smile on her face. "I have a good feeling about you going to school this semester" she said with a very sincere voice. I didn't know what to say or think about it so I just nodded, and with that she left my room.

I thought about her words for a couple of minutes but came up with nothing. _What could be so special about me going to the monotonous college?_

I got tired of thinking and pushed away all thoughts as I turned off the light and went to sleep praying that tomorrow never came for me.

**A/N: So a little dark I know, but I promise it gets better. Please tell me what you think or I won't update. Thanks. (Now I'm off to read a book for college…).**


	3. Candyman

**A/N: Ok… let the funs begin. Don't forget to comment. Remember to look up the songs. I think they're pretty awesome and fitting for each chapter. Enjoy! Also just a warning: in this chapter you can see how much James affects Bella, especially in the way she talks. Pay close attention. (She's worse than a sailor) **

**Disclaimer: **all Twilight characters belong to the great Stephanie Meyer. Thank You

**Chapter Song:** Candyman – Christina Aguilera

**Candyman **

"He's a one stop shop

Makes my panties drop

He's a sweet chocolate sugar coated

Candyman"

**BPOV:**

I woke up early the next morning. This semester my classes started a lot earlier. I had to be out of my house by 6 in the morning so that I could avoid traffic once I got out of Forks.

As I got out of bed, I put on some music. I was in a good mood.

For some reason, I have to have music on while I'm awake. I think it's like an OCD. But then again a lot of people like music right?

I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and when I had on my black boy shorts and a matching bra, I took out a pair of skinny jeans, and a t-shirt from my drawer.

I no longer looked at the cute shirts that hung from my closet, because according to James, they were too tight and they showed my boobs off.

I used to dress with really pretty shirts and cute skirts before, and even when I started dating him, I dressed to impress.

I used to laugh because I really was blessed with nice boobs and I was proud of them_. I know… superficial right?_ Well, back then I didn't care. I felt that as long as I was comfortable I didn't care about what people thought about me. But now James didn't want me looking the least bit attractive cause that would attract boys, and God knows that would only piss him off even more_. What a prick!_

I quickly put on the clothes and grabbed a pair of socks. I opened my closet and took out a pair of black Converse with a dark blue line on the heel. I loved Converse. They were comfortable and looked cute with t-shirts.

I brushed my hair, knowing that it would be dry before I even got off the car at Port Angeles. I stopped the music and unplugged my laptop. I put the laptop and the charger in my backpack and then went downstairs.

My dad was already gone. Being the town's Chief of Police meant getting up early. _Oh well_. My mom was still in bed and I didn't bother her. She needed the rest anyways. She often had trouble falling asleep at night, so whenever she was asleep in the morning I didn't bother her so that she could rest, and recuperate her energy.

I grabbed a pop tart from the pantry and headed out the door. As I got in the car I turned on the radio to my favorite radio station while I ate the pop tart.

Even though my parents were strict I was pretty much a normal teenager.

_Well that was until James came into my life… ughh it's so early to be thinking about the prick_.

I listened to music from the popular stations and knew about a lot of singers and artists. I loved music that you could dance to, and even though I'm white as hell, one of my favorite songs to dance to, is a Spanish song called Suavemente by Elvis Crespo. You have to move your hips so much; it's like sex on the dance floor. Every now and then I also cursed_. I know… what a hypocrite right?_ I go to church and then curse like crazy. Well the truth is that it was something I picked up when I started dating James. He made me so angry sometimes, that the only thing I could do to relieve the frustration was to curse until I finally calmed down.

I finally made it to the college. There were students everywhere, so I had to slow down big time when I entered the parking lot. I went around looking for a parking space near the library of the college, since I knew my first class was in the building right next to it.

I finally found a damn parking space and got off the car. As I was walking towards the library I saw a cute BMW looking for a parking space. I had a thing for BMWs. I thought they were bad ass cars. They had style and were fast. _What more could you ask for?_

The car passed by me and I looked back and noticed that the driver parked next to my car. I looked as the driver got off and what I saw impressed me. _Oh my god. That guy was cute_. But he looked so serious. I didn't want to look stupid drooling over a damn guy though, so I kept on walking.

My first class it's at seven in the morning. It's College Algebra and it's so early that there were only six of us in the class. My professor, Mr. Bradley, talked and talked about what we would study during the semester and how his grading worked. He said he didn't want to start the lesson today so he let us out early.

Since I had time, I went to the library. I checked to see if any of the small private offices were available and I found one. I went in and closed the door.

Even though the front parts of those rooms were made of glass and everyone could see you, I thought that a door added privacy to it. I hate being in the middle of a bunch of people. Plus I could run into someone I know, and I avoided guys like the plague now a days. I don't want any problems with James.

I sat down took out my laptop, put on my headphones, listened to music and checked my e-mail. As I logged in I noticed that James had already checked it today. I wasn't surprised. He checked everything he could possibly check about me. My e-mails, my phone call history, and my text messages… _should I keep on going?_ I noticed I didn't have any important e-mails except the ones confirming my classes. James never opened e-mails from the college since he knew they were formal e-mails and that no one would flirt with me through those. _Seriously the dude has issues_. After I finished checking my e-mails, I checked the time. I still had fifteen minutes before I had to head out to my next class which started at 8:30. I roamed around the internet for a while looking at the movies that were coming out this weekend. There was one that seemed funny. It was about this girl who brought home her boyfriend so he could meet the parents. It seemed hilarious.

After a while I got bored and decided to walk early to class. It was US history.

I mentally prepared myself. I knew this class would have a lot more people in it since it was late already. I silently prayed that I didn't have a prick of a teacher, or that I didn't have to deal with any guys in that class. That would just add to my stress.

I took the long way towards the Art Building since that was where my history class was at. I loved walking by the lake that the college had in the center of the campus. It added peace to the place. As I walked I felt my phone vibrate. I took it out of my back pocket.

_**Hope you have a good day – James**_

I simply replied

_**K – Bella**_

I then received another text message

_**I love you – James**_

I replied again

_**K- Bella**_

I entered the Art building and went up the stairs. My class was in the last hallway and in the last classroom to the left. The professor wasn't there yet so I sat on the floor looking around the hallway. There were a couple of guys and I was glad to see that they were all older guys. They wouldn't be a problem since older guys often went for girls that looked a hell of a lot better than I do, so I didn't worry.

Five minutes later my teacher arrived. He looked young and very serious. He opened the door and we all headed in. I sat down at the front, praying that girls would sit next to me. I looked at the clock on the screen in front of the classroom. The class would start in two minutes. I took my agenda out and busied myself for those two minutes. _I didn't want to talk to anyone. _

The professor started talking and I was surprised. His last name was Black but he wanted us to call him Jacob. He was super funny. He cracked a joke at every chance he got.

Five minutes into the class, the cute guy from the parking lot walked in. I looked at him closely. Since everyone else was doing the same thing, I didn't feel guilty for ogling at him. He was gorgeous. His hair was amazing and of bronze color. He was tall and you could see the muscles coming out of his shirt_. All in all hot_. As he walked over to the only available seat in the classroom I looked around and saw that every other girl in the classroom looked like they had never seen a man in their lives. I didn't blame them. I'm sure that was the reaction this guy got out of every girl… including me.

After that interruption, the class passed by quickly. Jacob explained the syllabus as he handed it to us. We have three novels to read throughout the semester. We also have to write five essays in total and will have to conduct an interview with someone who has taken part in the history of our country. I thought hard about that. I didn't know any war veterans or anyone who survived the holocaust. Oh well I'll deal with that whenever I have to.

After that class I had a pretty long break and I was starving so I headed out to the parking lot. I took the long way again. I Walked by the lake, admiring the scenery of the birds bathing in the shallow water at the edge of the lake. When I reached my car, the BMW was no longer parked next to me. I was secretly disappointed. I wanted to see Mr. Gorgeous one more time. As I got in the car I thought about that and I quickly reprimanded myself. _I have a boyfriend for crying out loud_. He might be an ass but I still have to respect him. _Don't I? _

I looked for a fast food restaurant near the college. I hated cafeteria food, it was gross. When I finally found a Taco Cabana I went inside. I ordered the personal platter that had beef fajitas in it. I loved Mexican food, it was my favorite... well after Italian that is. While I waited for my order I went to the restroom to wash my hands.

When I came out I almost turned right back around.

There ordering his food was the cute guy from the parking lot. _Holy shit he's hot!!!_ I could feel the heat crawling up to my face when he looked my way. I didn't know what to do at that point_. Oh my god his eyes_! I hadn't noticed that his eyes were pure green. They were the most beautiful eyes I had even seen in my whole life. You could almost get lost in them. And his hair… it wasn't just bronze, it was shiny, and in disarray that made it look like he didn't own a brush but it was so hot… I forgave him in a heartbeat. I had the urge to lick those sweet lips of his like I would lick a piece of delicious candy. That's exactly what his lips were… _candy_.

I'm sure I stood there like an idiot for a very long time. It wasn't until my phone vibrated that I looked down and kept on moving. I didn't look back to see what the candyman was doing, I just kept on moving. _This is so humiliating!_ I went to sit to a table in the corner of the restaurant.

I opened my phone and came back down to earth.

_**Are you on your break right now? – James**_

_** Yes – Bella**_

What that hell man? This fool is driving me crazy. Now I'm going to have to talk to him on the phone during the break. I saw hot stuff looking for a place to sit and for once, I was glad that James would call. I was too tempted to go up to him and say hello. _Too tempted!_

My phone rang and I didn't even look at the phone I just picked up the call.

"Hello" I said. "What time did you get out for break?" _ughh! This is what pisses me off_. "Jeez… hello? How are YOU doing?" I said, sarcasm dripping from every word. I hated when he didn't even say hi. He just asked questions, like his damn life depended on it. I wish it did. He would've died a long time ago. "Oh, hi" he said just to placate me. "What time did you get out for your break?" he asked again.

I got up from my table and went to get my food when my order number was called out. I ignored hot stuff sitting alone looking out through the glass walls. "I got out a while ago. I'm at Taco Cabana eating lunch, and then I'm going back to class why?" I asked innocently. I know that he wanted to know the exact times I was in class but I wasn't going to budge. "Just asking, at what time to do you go back to class?" he asked. _Fucking Spanish inquisition man!_ "Babe I don't know I haven't checked" I said a little too loud when I was at my table again. I saw candyman turning around to look at me.

I felt the heat rushing to my face all over again. _Damn James!_

"Look I'm going to eat right now ok? I'll call you later when I'm home" I said, exasperated and wanting to end this damn conversation as soon as possible before I slipped and said something I don't want him to know.

"Why don't you want to talk to me?" he asked, sounding like I had just hurt his feelings. _What a fucking baby! I don't have patience for this shit_. "Because I'm hungry and I would like to eat before my food gets cold!" I said angrily. He immediately caught my mood and defended himself. "Ok I understand you're hungry but-" I interrupted him "obviously you don't understand. You're not hanging up!" I spat back at him_. I'm so sick of this crap; I'm gonna snap one of this day_. "Don't talk to me like that" he said sternly. "I understand you're hungry, I just called to check on how you're day has gone so far. I'll let you go now" he said in a much lower tone. _Finally, Hallelujah!_

"Thank you" I said with a little bit of sarcasm still. "I'll call you later ok?" I said, not wanting to end in bad terms because I didn't want to deal with him later today. "Ok baby. I love you. Behave ok?" he said. "uh ok… don't tell me to behave please. I'm not a stinking animal, I've told you that already" I said. I hated this shit so much. I was losing my appetite already.

"Ok sorry baby. I'll talk to you later ok"

"Ok" I said and hung up before he could say anything else.

I ate my food, before it got cold. I hate cold food, it makes me wanna puke.

After that I headed back to the college.

I don't remember seeing candyman at the restaurant when I got out of there. Hmm he must have left before me.

I parked again and headed to my next class.

When I walked into Biology I almost walked out again just so I could double check the classroom number. Candyman himself was sitting in the back row of the classroom looking at his phone. _What that hell?_ This was getting weird.

I sat in the front row because I'm a nerd and I don't like distractions _(in the form of candyman_) when I'm trying to focus on a subject such a science. I hated stinking science, especially biology… _with a passion._ I never understood what's so fascinating about it. I always had a hard time understanding it in high school.

My professor's name was Emmett White. He was really young, in his early 20's and he was hot. I saw a couple of girls drooling and already trying to flirt with him. _Hookers_.

He said we could call him Emmett if we felt like it. He was really laid back and funny, yet he also was strict in his grading. Our first test will be in 3 weeks and we already have homework. He warned us that this would not be an easy course, and I believe him already just by looking at the damn syllabus.

Biology was my longest class. It lasted three hours because half of the time was spent in lecture and the other half in lab. I had a 10 minute break in between but I just walked straight to the lab. When we finally got there, Emmett explained to us where all the safety equipment was and what we should do in case of injuries or chemical spills. _Very interesting… not! _

After all the explaining, Emmett handed out a piece of paper with a bunch of adjectives and a scale next to it. We were supposed to rate the adjectives that were more like us the highest, and the ones that were the least like us the lowest, then add the total in that column and write the number at the bottom. I finished pretty quick since I think I know myself pretty well_. I think_. At the end of the 4 columns my numbers were 16, 40, 24, and then proceeded to tells us that the highest number you had represented the color of your personality. _What are we in freaking middle school or something?_ Then he made us sit according to that color.

I of course had a 40 on the second column, which belonged to the gold… _heck yeah_! The adjectives that described me on that paper were responsible, sensible, dependable, loyal, organized, concerned, procedural, cooperative, orderly, careful, and the list goes on and on.

What I didn't see coming was that candyman ended up on my table. How is that possible… _gorgeous and gold are you kidding me? _

We were then instructed to introduce ourselves among our table. We all took turns introducing ourselves. There was a girl name Kelsey, another one named Lauren, then when his turn came, my heart started speeding up_. What the hell?_ I guess I just wanted to finally put a name on this guy that was everywhere I was today.

When he spoke, I almost fainted. "Hello, I'm Edward Cullen" he said. _Oh shit_! His voice, oh my god! He has the sweetest, yet strongest voice I have ever heard.

I felt like I was drooling, and then I embarrassed myself one more time.

I hadn't noticed that I was supposed to introduce myself. I was just staring at him like an idiot again.

That was until he cleared his throat.

"Oh yeah, sorry… my name is uhmm Isabella Swan, but uhh I go by uhmm Bella" _great now I can't even talk._ Everyone in my table just stared at me. I gave everyone except Edward a shy smile. I wasn't gonna look at this guy again. It only served me to make a fool of myself.

The girls quickly went back to drooling over Edward. I took out my agenda and started writing down what I had to do for this class when I got home.

I could feel him staring at me but I just kept on looking at my agenda.

Edward remained quiet except for a question or two that the girls dared to ask him.

He seemed serious and unwilling to talk but that was because maybe they were all up on him._ I swear this world is full of hookers!_

After I got out of that class I had ten minutes to get to my next class which luckily was in the same building. As I walked in I noticed this beautiful girl standing by the door. More like a woman I guess, but super young. She was so gorgeous that I'm sure any girl that saw her immediately felt like shooting herself. She had long wavy, blonde hair. She had amazing curves and was big chested. When I walked into the classroom, she just smiled at me but said nothing.

This was my last class of the day, English, which was also my favorite subject.

I was seriously considering majoring in English, but history tempted me all the same.

When I sat down I took out my laptop. I noticed that the gorgeous girl was still standing by the door. That was curious… _what is she doing there?_ As the classroom kept getting filled up she finally walked in. oh are you serious? She's the teacher?

"Hello everybody, welcome to Rhetoric and Composition II or English II, whichever one you want to call it. I'm Miss Alexander, but my first name is Rosalie" she said with a bright smile.

You could see everyone's reaction to her words. The guys were bugged eyed, drooling, and probably thinking they were the luckiest bastards in the world to have a hot chick as their teacher. The girls all had a pained look in their faces. Some even had a jealous face on, I think I had a pained one. I need to shoot myself when I get out of here. Anybody got a gun? Oh wait, my dad is a cop… step one: acquiring a gun… _check!!!_

Two minutes into the class… and guess who walks in… yup you got it. It's no other than Mr. Edward Cullen. Ok… _seriously_ where's the camera? Someone must be pulling a joke on me? _Where's Ashton kutcher? Am I being Punk'd? _

And that wasn't the worse part.

I looked away from him and I immediately noticed that the only seat available was the one to my right, which was the seat at the beginning of the row of desks. _Oh crap! _

He started walking my way and then asked "is this seat taken?" damn him and that sexy, dark voice! "uhmm no?" I said it like a question. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ He looked at me and then gave me a small smile. Ok… I've officially melted and turned into lava… _someone come and scrape me off the floor please! _

Miss Alexander kept on talking and I wasn't really paying attention. I was more focused on the piece of candy sitting next to me. He was looking at the teacher but every now and then he would look at his cell phone.

The way he was sitting made his muscles in his arm pop out and that made me nervous. Don't ask why because I don't know.

He had his laptop opened and while the teacher talked he was typing what I guessed were notes. Huh… responsible… _definitely gold_. Every now and then his hand would also run along his hair as if making it messier… and hotter. Was there anything wrong with this guy? He's like… perfect.

I didn't pay attention to anything Alexander said until I heard her say "Now turn to the person to your right and introduce yourselves" _oh please, please! I'm begging you don't do this to me!_

I knew he would look at me… duh there was no one to his right.

I saw him turn and burry his green eyes on me. I was suddenly holding my breath waiting for him to say something. But he just stared back. Then I guess he finally noticed that I was lava… and lava can't talk.

"Uhmm technically you have to introduce yourself first because I'm to your right, but I already know who you are" he said with a sexy smirk on his face. "Are you following me or something?" he asked. _Oh god please kill me now! _

"What? No!" I said defending myself.

He immediately chuckled. "I'm kidding" he said with a smile in his face. I looked down, knowing that by now I was as red as a tomato… no wait red as lava. _Yup, that's right. Lava it is_. He then extended his hand out to me and I did the same with a little too much urgency. I ended up pulling on his hand and when I felt his hand touch me my heart stopped… I swear it did. "Isabella right?" he asked. "Uhmm yeah that's right…Bella" I said as I looked at him again. Gosh I felt so stupid. I'm acting like a damn girl in high school all over again. "I'm Edward" he said. I just nodded. I didn't know what to say anymore. This time though… there was something different in his eyes. He almost looked sad and mad at the same time. I felt scared for a second. Maybe he didn't like that I had pulled on his hand_. I'm such an idiot!_

Thankfully, Alexander saved me. "Ok stop" she said. She smiled brightly at us.

_Reminder… bring Miss Alexander an apple._

"Ok, this is the person you are going to be working with during the whole semester" she said.

Ok… now I'm done. _Get me out of here please!_

_Are you serious?_ "Please exchange your contact information with that person and after that you are free to go. I'll explain everything about the group assignment next class, see you on Thursday" she said, probably proud that she was letting us out early.

I didn't want to look at him anymore. This was beyond ridiculous. He finally spoke

"So should I give you my number or something? He asked slowly. He probably thinks I'm retarded too.

Crap… James! "Oh… Uhmm how about you give me your e-mail and I give you mine" I said, finally looking at him. His eyes narrowed a little bit whenever I said that. _Hmm I wonder why? _

"Ok" he said looking a bit more serious. I took out my sticky notes and I wrote down the e-mail address that James had no idea I had created so that I could talk to other people without him finding out. I handed it to Edward and he took it and put it at the bottom corner of his laptop.

"Can I borrow a sticky note?" he asked.

I quickly gave him the whole set of them and he wrote down his e-mail in it. He handed it to me and I took it without looking at it. I shoved the sticky notes in my bag pack and I stood up, putting my laptop in my backpack.

He got up a little later after me, and stuffed his laptop in his backpack.

"So I'll see you Thursday?" he asked.

"Oh yeah… see you" I said finally sounding a little decent and without looking at him.

I then walked out of there before I turned to lava all over again.

I think I reached my car on record time. There was no way I was gonna bump into Edward Cullen again. Not today. _Hell no! That boy is dangerous!_

When I reached home I made myself a sandwich and ate some strawberries, my favorite fruit.

After that I started reading for my biology class.

It took me a while to focus since a certain pair of green eyes kept on springing into my mind. I wonder why he looked sad or angry when he talked to me in English. Maybe he really didn't like it that I pulled his hand.

After a while I actually read. Man I'm gonna have to study so much for this semester if I want to pass this class.

When my mom and dad got back home from work I had dinner ready. We sat at the table and ate. My mom talked about her kindergarten students and how they are so adorable. I will never be able to understand how she's so patient with them. I know I would've strangled somebody already.

My dad talked about a motorcycle accident that he had to tend to. He hates motorcycles with a passion.

After I cleaned the kitchen I headed upstairs. I went through my night routine and went to bed. I grabbed my phone from the night stand and noticed I had five new text messages. I didn't even open them. I just dialed to James.

He was pissed because I had told him I would call him whenever I got home, and obviously I didn't. After a million sorry's and "I won't do it again" apologies, he moved on and started asking the questions that were probably burning him inside. I answered each one of them calmly, but when he asked me if I had talked to any guys I rapidly said "No!" and he got kind of suspicious but dismissed it anyways_. I'm gonna have to be careful about this. Damn it!_

After I hung up with him I turned off my light and lay down. I thought about those green eyes, and this mysterious guy that had occupied my thoughts the whole day ever since I saw him. There was something about him and I didn't know what it was but I guess soon enough I'm going to find out.

**A/N: so yeah… what do you think? Edward's POV is next. Don't forget to comment! **


	4. Happy Ending

**A/N: ready for some Edward? I know I am. As always don't forget to comment after you read this. What do you want to see happening? Any suggestions? I take good and bad criticism. Just show me that you're human. Thanks. **

**Disclaimer: all Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer don't forget. **

**Chapter Song: **Happy Ending – Mika

**Happy Ending**

This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending

No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending

This is the way that we love, like its forever

Then live the rest of our lives

But not together

**EPOV:**

When the alarm went off in the morning, I had to think about why I had set the alarm in the first place. _Oh yeah… college. Damn it!_

After I remembered, I got up and took a shower.

When I came out, I had a towel wrapped around my body and I walked out of my room.

I was supposed to wake Alice up so that she could do her hair_. Ughh… girls! _

I knocked on her door but didn't hear anything.

I knocked again, and still nothing.

"Alice" I called. "Wake up already" still nothing.

I knocked a third time and harder.

I finally heard movement around the room and Alice opened her door. _Oh, oh, she's pissed!_ "You know I heard you the first time you knocked! You don't have to be such an animal". _Oh yeah, she's pissed alright. _"Well you could have said something you know?" I was going to piss her off even more. I was having fun with this "And take some fucking Midol already, you're so fucking grouchy" with that I walked off to my room and I heard her yell "Edward Cullen I'm going to kill you!" _yeah, yeah, whatever. _

I opened my drawers and finally put on some boxers and a white t-shirt. I then, walked into my closet and pulled out a pair of true religion jeans and a Calvin Klein button up shirt. I put them on and then headed to the restroom to do my hair, brush my teeth, and shave.

When I was finally done I went back to my closet and grabbed a pair of shoes. After I put them on I unplugged my laptop, shoved it in my bag pack and walked out of my room.

As I passed by the hallway I knocked on Alice's door just to piss her off again.

Even though my life was now a dark place, I still had a good relationship with my little sister, and that meant having fun at her expense.

I know Alice acted mad but deep inside she was happy to see me try.

I went to the kitchen and said hi to my mom. She was sitting at the coffee table looking at a magazine that probably had to do with house decorations.

My mom loved her job, and she was always looking for ways to get better at it. "Morning" I simply said. "Oh honey good morning, you look cute" "Uhmm thanks" I said. _How are you supposed to answer to that? _

I looked for something to eat and found the cereal and pulled out the milk from the fridge.

"So you're ready for a new semester?" she asked. "Yeah I guess I am" I answered as I started eating my cereal.

We were quiet for a while and then my dad walked into the kitchen. "Good morning Edward, good morning sweetheart" he said to the both of us. "Morning" we both said.

My dad often left early for his shift at the hospital. He also loved his job and at one point tried to persuade me to pursue medicine but I was more interested in law. "New semester?" he simply asked. "Yup" I simply answered.

_I knew where this was going. _

Mom and dad always tried to tell me that I could do so much better than a community college. I had been accepted to Harvard and to Stanford but after Tanya's death I didn't care at all about school. Why should I even bother to go to such prestigious institutions when the fine Port Angeles Community College was good enough for me? _Right?_

"Edward, you already know that we can cover the expenses for you to go to a four-year college where you will be able to get a prestigious degree" my dad said as he was getting some coffee for himself. "I know dad, thank you for your offer but I'm fine here" I said. "At least for now" I added for their benefit.

I always try to give my mom and dad hopes that someday I would actually get my degree and become a famous lawyer. It made them happy, and that, was all I cared about. They didn't have to be miserable along with me.

"Ok" my dad said, ending my reverie of thoughts.

As I finished my breakfast I got up and put the dishes in the sink. I walked towards my mom and gave her a peck on the forehead. Then I said my goodbyes to both of them.

When I got to my car I immediately turned on the iPod that I always left in my car. Once the music started playing, I started speeding through the town.

I looked at the time. _Hmm I still have enough time._ It really doesn't take me that long to get to the college and that's probably due to the fact that I enjoy the rush of speed. I was always on time to school.

As I was driving, I started thinking about what Alice had told me the previous night. She had a good feeling about me going to school. Normally I don't believe in all that feelings or premonitions shit but for some reason Alice had a knack for those things and that made me take her words a little more seriously.

But… what could possibly be so different about this semester?

I tried not to think about that and started thinking about the next thing… Tanya.

I thought about how life had been so cruel as to take away someone who meant so much to me. Tanya and I had known each other for so long and when we finally started dating nobody was surprised. We were the golden couple. She was pretty, smart, and a cheerleader. I was good looking, smart, and a star player. The match made in heaven.

As usual every time I thought about Tanya, a storm of guilt hit me right on my face. The guilt for not telling her 'I love you' one last time, the guilt for not meeting her at her house instead of the restaurant, the guilt for not sensing the real danger she had been in while dating Marcus, the guilt for not doing a god damn thing about it, and especially the guilt for being the one who was still breathing, while she was six feet underground.

I was responsible for her death through and through.

_Yeah, I definitely don't deserve to be happy._

I was thinking about all this as I reached the school parking lot. I parked in the first available space I found in the damn place. I got off and started walking towards the Tech building which was next to the library.

My first class was Introduction to Law and it was thought by a lady called Lisa McCarty.

As I walked in the classroom she handed me and everybody else a syllabus of the class. She then proceeded to explain what we would be doing during the semester. We would study the structure of the court system in the US, and how it came about. We would also learn about some of the most important court cases in the history of the Country. Some of our major grades included class debates, 3 essays, and a couple of interviews with Judges from around the area. All in all very interesting I guess. Oh we were also required to do community service. _Great, can't wait!_

After that class ended I realized I had forgotten to bring my iPod, so I went back to the car to get it. I felt weird without music throughout the transition of classes. I also didn't want to talk to anybody. After I had my iPod I started walking back towards the Art building where my next class was at. This class was history and I knew that I would like it since it somehow tied itself with my Intro to Law class.

When I finally reached the class, the professor had already started talking. As I walked in, I could feel the stare of everyone concentrating on me. I was used to girls looking at me like they would let me fuck them in a heartbeat, but having guys stare at me… _now that shit was weird._ I looked for a place to sit and found a seat towards the back of the classroom, which suited me, just fine. I liked being in the back that way nobody was staring at me. For some reason, that bothered me.

My professor's name was Jacob Black; he was young and somewhat funny. I was pretty sure that this class would never be boring. We would have all sorts of projects and major grades in this class and I didn't mind a bit since I enjoyed reading about history. It was all very interesting; to see the mistakes our forefathers made and how we could repeat them all over again today. I was looking forward to interviewing someone who has taken part in the history of our country. I don't know anyone who is a veteran but it should be a fun project none the less.

After that class ended I had a break for lunch. I didn't even bother to walk to the college cafeteria. The shit they sold there was nasty. So I popped my headphones on and headed towards the parking lot. I took the short way, skipping the walk around the lake. I wasn't in the mood to meditate right now.

As I got back in the car, I plugged the iPod into the car's sound system, after that I headed out of the parking lot on my way to the Taco Cabana where I always ate when I was at college. When I got there I parked and popped my headphones back on. I avoided talking to people at all cost. You could say that I was not the most social person in the world_. I don't give a shit._

I ordered my food and started paying for it when I felt someone staring at me. I looked to my left and saw the most beautiful brown eyed girl I had ever seen.

I stood there frozen and even when I tried to move, my body wouldn't respond. I just stood there staring at this girl. _Why was that? _The girl just kept on staring at me and I was captivated by her eyes. They were beautiful. And still, I couldn't move. _You're probably freaking her out you dumbass, do something!_

The heat starting rushing into her face, and the pink that covered her cheeks was so beautiful and it only made her more beautiful. But now, she probably thought I was a retarded dumbass for staring at her for so long. She had amazing brown hair that went all the way to her waist in wide curls. And her body was slender, although you couldn't tell much since she was wearing a T-shirt. While taking all of this in my head, I was also realizing that I was still staring. I wanted to do something.

But I couldn't move.

It was the brown eyed girl who finally took the first step and headed in the direction where the seats were at.

I paid for my food and went to sit somewhere where I couldn't see this girl's face. She probably already thinks I'm a dumbass. _Let's not add stalker to the list. _While I was sitting down, I busied myself looking outside the window.

For some reason, people's life always seemed so interesting to me. But maybe that was because I didn't have a life. Not that I missed it but still it felt weird every now and then.

I was still looking outside when the girl's voice snapped me out of it. "Babe I don't know I haven't checked" the girl said a little too loud. I turned around a looked at her and found her staring at me. When she noticed that I had heard what she said that beautiful pink rushed to her cheeks again. Even though I wanted to keep looking at her beautiful face, I didn't want her to feel embarrassed so I turned around and looked outside the window once again.

_Hmm of course she has a boyfriend._ For some reason that realization made me angry. _What the hell? _

I wondered why she sounded agitated on the phone. Maybe she was having an argument with her boyfriend. _Good._

I heard the girl's voice again "You're not hanging up!" she said even more agitated now. I wanted to go up to her and ask her how I could help. Did the prick of her boyfriend not understand that she wanted him to hang up? I did, and I had only heard parts of her conversation. _Is he fucking retarded or something?_

Hearing this girl fighting with her boyfriend hit a nerve with me. I imagined that's how Tanya's life must have been next to that son of a bitch she used to date. This pissed me off even more and I couldn't take any more arguing from this girl. Before I even got my food I walked out of there and went straight to my car. I stopped at a gas store to buy some snacks and ate those when I got to the college.

I silently prayed that the beautiful girl were not in an abusive relationship. She looked sweet and like she didn't deserve that kind of treatment, especially from a guy.

I thought about my dating life. _Yup, I didn't have one_. My last girlfriend had been Tanya and I didn't really mind. Though I had plenty of opportunities to get girl's numbers and to go out with them, I didn't want to go out with a girl just to get laid, and I knew I wouldn't be falling for anyone anytime soon. I loved Tanya. I still love her.

I walked in early to my next class, Biology. I sat in the back of the classroom and looked around. A minute later I felt my phone vibrate, and I took it out of my back pocket.

_**How is it going so far? – Alice**_

I quickly typed back

_**Good – Edward**_

I received another text message and answered it again

_**That's it? – Alice**_

_**Yeah – Edward**_

_What the hell man? What does she want me to say? That I got arrested or some shit like that?_

_**Loser – Alice**_

_**Troll! – Edward**_

That was going to piss her off. _Good._

_**Fuck you – Alice**_

_Ha, ha, ha_

_**No thank you – Edward **_

_**Whatever! – Alice**_

When I looked back up from my phone the classroom was already packed. Since I was in the back of the classroom I could only see the back of people's body. When the teacher started talking I noticed someone's hair and it looked familiar.

I tried to think about whose hair that was but I couldn't pin it to the face. It wasn't until we started walking towards the lab that I looked at the girl with the pretty soft looking hair. It was the same girl from Taco Cabana. _Hmm I bet a hundred bucks this pretty girl is also smart._

When we were in lab, Emmett, my professor, showed us around the classroom and pointed out all safety equipment and all that other shit that nobody gives a shit about.

I was more focused on the girl sitting at the table across from me. There was just something about her that drew me to her. I wanted to be next to her and to protect her. _This is all so weird. _

After a while of talking, Emmett handed out a piece of paper for us to complete. I concentrated in it and immediately knew that this had to do with our personalities and all that color coded bullshit. I filled it out and got 12, 40, 23, and 14 at the end of the columns. I already knew I was gold so I wasn't surprised when Emmett read out the colors to us.

I secretly wondered what the brown eyed girl was. Was she crazy like the orange people, was she a thinker like the green, or maybe a lovable person like the blues.

Or was she like me? A Gold; a loyal person who put everyone else before me?

Emmett then told us to move to the corresponding tables according to the colors. I moved in the direction of the Gold table and I almost did a happy dance when I saw the pretty girl sitting there already. _What that fuck? Why? _

We were then told to introduce ourselves. I didn't really pay attention to the other girls that were looking at me like I was the last guy on earth and I was their savior. I think that their names were Kara and Lori. I'm not sure. It was then my turn and I simply said "Hello, my name is Edward Cullen" I felt all the girls staring at me but I only cared about hearing the name of this beautiful girl whose eyes were driving me insane.

I blatantly stared at her waiting. But she just stared back. I secretly rejoiced in the fact that she was also drooling over me. _Keep on staring… I don't mind at all_. I found it funny and I cleared my throat to get her out of her reverie.

She immediately blushed and stammered "Oh yeah, sorry… my name is uhmm Isabella Swan, but uhh I go by uhmm Bella" I can't believe she actually finished a sentence. _This is too funny._

We all stared at her. I was dumbfounded when I heard her voice. I had heard her earlier but she was agitated. Now, her voice was so soft it automatically relaxed me. She noticed we were looking at her and she gave a quick smile to the girls but didn't look at me. _Why?_ And then I remembered_. She has a boyfriend you dumbass! _

The other two girls went back to staring at me while I was still admiring Bella. What a fitting name, I thought.

"So Edward…" I heard one of the girls talking to me. _Oh god, here we go!_ I looked at her with a serious face. "Yes?" I asked. "What's your major?" she asked. Wow this girl doesn't even try to cover up the fact that she's flirting. I looked down to my table and in a way that sounded unfriendly I answered her "I'm undecided" and then I went back to staring at Bella. She had now taken out a notebook and was writing on it. She looked like she was trying to focus on what she was writing.

During the rest of the class Emmett explained to us how our lab assignments would go, and how the tests were done. He also mentioned that most times we would have to work with a partner and this made me anxious. I wanted to work with Bella but at the same time I was scared. _What the fuck?_ I was never scared of talking to a girl. But I guess it has been so long that my confidence has gone down.

When I got out of that class I walked towards the vending machines to get a snack. _I was hungry as hell_. I took out some Dorito's and started walking slowly towards my next class. When I was done with the chips I popped a piece of gum in my mouth and started walking faster realizing that I was going to be late to class.

When I got there I notice some hot girl standing in the front of the classroom but then I looked carefully and it turns out she was the professor. I looked around the room and saw the look on the other guys. I'm sure they were all thanking their lucky stars for having this woman as their teacher_. Horny bastards._

I started walking towards the only seat available in the classroom and as I looked forward I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was going to sit next to Isabella. As I reached were she was sitting I looked at her in the eye "is this seat taken?" I asked.

Her eyes were so penetrating and looked like they could tell stories and keep you entranced in them the whole day. "Uhmm no?" she asked. _Huh?_ Oh I get it! She was probably wondering what the hell I was doing in this class. _Yup, she definitely thinks I'm a stalker now. _

I sat down and took out my laptop. I started writing shit down but what I wrote didn't really register in my head. I could feel a current of electricity passing between Isabella and me. _Did she feel it too?_ Every now and then I would look down to my table with the pretense of checking my phone, or run my hand through my hair, but I was really looking at the girl next to me.

She was totally focused on what the professor was saying and I admired her for really being interested in English.

I liked English and I was usually super good at it. I just didn't like writing essays over stupid crap. I hope this class has some material worth reading. I'm going to be pissed if all we do is learn about grammar. _Who needs that shit anyways? _

I felt my phone vibrate and discretely looked at it again.

_**Anything interesting? – Alice**_

I ignored her and immediately started thinking about Alice's words. Could this be that special feeling about school?

As I was pondering the idea, my thoughts were interrupted when I heard Rosalie, the hot professor, saying something about looking at the person to your right_. Oh yeah… I'm so looking at this girl right in the eyes. _

There was nobody sitting to my right so I immediately turned to my left, where Isabella was sitting.

At first I was just staring at her but then I thought she would think I was being weird so I broke the silence. "Uhmm technically you have to introduce yourself first because I'm to your right, but I already know who you are" I said with a smirk on my face, hoping to make her blush. "Are you following me or something?" I asked trying to be playful.

"What? No!" she quickly said to me with a panicked face. Did she think I was being serious? _Wait to go Cullen. You are such an idiot! _

I tried to calm her down by chuckling softly "I'm kidding" I said while smiling softly at her. _Wait a minute… I never smile at girls. This is getting weird. _

Isabella looked down and she was blushing so hard that her cheeks were now red instead of pink. She looked completely adorable.

I extended my hand to her as an introduction. Really, I just wanted to touch her. I was surprised at what she did though. She looked at me and pulled on my hand almost as if I was throwing her a life saver. When our hands made contact, I felt a warm feeling within me that I haven't felt in a long time. I was mesmerized by this girl that I had just met.

"Isabella right?" I asked her trying to distract myself so I didn't do the things I had the impulse to do.

"Uhmm yeah that's right…Bella" she said looking at me.

When she looked at me in the eye though, there was a hint on sadness in her eyes. I wanted to take the sadness away from her but I knew I couldn't. I was a sad person myself. I couldn't possibly help this girl when I couldn't help myself. The realization put an end to my cordiality towards this girl. She already had troubles with her boyfriend; I wasn't going to add to them. It made me mad just to think that some asshole was probably treating this girl poorly. I wanted to tell her that she was better than that and that she deserves someone better.

Someone like me I could tell her.

But I knew she didn't deserve someone like me either. I was a broken guy who couldn't be put back together, so what kind of relationship could I possibly have with her. _No, leave her alone Cullen._

"I'm Edward" I said softly, not wanting to be rude either.

I was glad to hear Alexander telling us to stop. I don't think I could keep a straight face while talking to this girl anymore.

"Ok, this is the person you are going to be working with during the whole semester" I heard her say.

For some stupid reason my heart started working with double beats as I started thinking about working with Bella the whole semester. I could get to know her well. She could also get to know me. A flame of hope started burning in my heart and I prayed that the feeling was mutual.

Somewhere in the background I heard the professor tells us to exchange contacts and then we were free to go. I didn't want to go yet but I guess looking at it from a student's perspective, we were lucky she was letting us out early.

I focused on the next task at hand.

"So should I give you my number or something? I said slowly, not wanting to sound like a prick.

I saw a flash of panic cross her eyes and I immediately understood.

"Oh… Uhmm how about you give me your e-mail and I give you mine" she said, looking at me.

I knew why she didn't give me her number.

She couldn't.

I narrowed my eyes at her as fury started filling my mind. This asshole controlled who she talked to. I hated the mother fucker already.

"Ok" I said. I didn't want her to hear the rage in my voice. I'm sure that would only make her scared.

She took out some sticky notes and wrote down her e-mail address. I looked at her face the whole time and all I saw was worry, and nervousness. I hope it wasn't over that prick of a boyfriend she must have.

She handed me the sticky note and I looked at it while I placed it in the corner of my laptop. I turned back to look at her.

"Can I borrow a sticky note?" I asked.

She urgently gave me the whole set of sticky notes. _Hmm maybe she wants to get the hell out of here_. Maybe that moron is watching her.

I wrote down my e-mail for her but I also wrote a cell phone number.

If I was not wrong and this guy was controlling her life, he would be pissed if he found a phone number to a guy that wasn't his on her phone, so I gave her Alice's phone number. I would explain it to Alice later.

I gave her the sticky notes back and she just took them without even looking at them. She just threw them into her bag pack together with her laptop.

She had already gotten up but I was sitting down. I followed suit and stood up, putting up my laptop.

"So I'll see you Thursday?" I asked.

"Oh yeah… see you" she said sounding a little more coherent. She didn't look at me still.

She immediately walked off without another word.

When I walked out into the hallway there was no trace of her anywhere. _Did she run or something?_

Since English was my last class I started walking towards the parking lot. When I got in my car it took me a little while to start the car.

I was thinking about my day and about this beautiful girl. I felt a twinge of pain knowing that she was chained to somebody who probably didn't love her like he said he did. I wanted to break the mother fucker's face for scaring this innocent girl. I also wanted to protect her, to tell her that everything would be ok.

I wanted to do for her, the things I didn't do for Tanya.

When I got home Alice was already there waiting for me at the door, jumping up and down. "Why did you ignore my text? Did anything cool happened? Was there anything out of the ordinary? Tell me something Edward!" she was demanding, not even pausing to allow me to respond.

"Nothing happened Alice, jeez would you calm down please?" I asked her, pinching my nose with my thumb and my index finger.

"Edward I know something happened, I can feel it, so how about you spit it out already?" she asked again.

"Look, just know that if someone calls your phone number and it's a guy… if he asks your name, just tell it to him. If it's a girl and she's asking for me let me know immediately ok?" I told her while I started walking through the door and towards my room.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you are out of your mind if you think I'm happy with that explanation. Get back here and tell me everything!" she demanded.

I ignored her and kept on walking. I felt her following me and I picked up my pace. When I reached my room I immediately locked my door. I definitely was not ready to talk to Alice about this.

"Edward you are going to have to tell me about this sooner or later you hear me?" she said while pounding on my door.

"I'd rather it be later Alice, leave me alone" I said defeated, knowing that she was right. Alice always got what she wanted from me. From everyone actually; she didn't take no for an answer.

"Fine" she said. And with that I was left alone for the rest of the afternoon.

I listened to music while I aimlessly roamed the internet.

The whole time I was fighting with my brain. I was trying to stop thinking about the pretty brown eyed girl. I needed to stop thinking about her. But could I really just leave her alone?

With so much thinking about her I was getting hungry and I was glad when I heard mom calling us to come down and eat.

We sat together and ate our food. We all took turns talking about our day.

My dad had performed surgery on an 11 year old girl and he was hopeful that she would recover soon. My mom landed a contract to remodel an old school home. She was static to say the least. Alice had received an acceptance letter to a really good college. While I told about my day, I could see Alice pointing daggers at me. I simply told them that my Intro to law class would be very interesting, and that for my history class we would have to interview someone but that I didn't have any idea of who it would be yet.

My parents seemed glad that I actually shared something at the table since I usually stayed quiet during dinner. _I guess._

After we were done eating my mom decided to watch a movie while Alice and I cleared up the table and washed the dished. The whole time Alice kept on giving me murderous glances and I was getting tired of them. I hated it when Alice was mad at me, and she knew that. _This girl is pure evil!_

When we were done she looked at me and I just nodded my head and took off to my room. I could feel her following me quietly. We both said goodnight to our parents and then we walked into my room.

Alice sat on my bed while I sat on my computer chair.

I told Alice all about Bella Swan and how she had been arguing on the phone with somebody. I told her that we would be working together during the semester and that I was sure that if her boyfriend found out she was talking to a guy he would flip. I explained to her that that was the reason why I had given Bella her number.

Alice listened as usual and she understood and told me not to worry about giving her number to Bella.

I was surprised to find out that Alice knew a little about her. It turns out that she lived here in Forks. She was the daughter of the police Chief, Charlie Swan. _Fuck me._

Alice had seen her once or twice at some social event. She said she was really pretty but that she was quiet. She also knew who her boyfriend was and didn't like him for shit. She said he looked like an asshole and I was sure that all of that new information confirmed my theory.

"What are you going to do?" Alice said, surprising me with her question. _What was she talking about?_

"About what Alice?" I asked looking at her with curious eyes.

"About Bella, come one Edward are you seriously going to tell me that you don't give a shit about what happens to Bella?" she said looking at me like if this stuff should be common sense to me.

"Alice I don't know what you are talking about" I said. She was starting to piss me off. What did she care about what I did with my life? That was my business and no one else's.

"Ughh you are such a guy!" she said, as if that was supposed to mean anything to me.

"It's getting late already Alice" I said hoping that she got the hint to get out of my room.

"Fine" she said, "But don't think that this stubbornness of yours is going to last for long, you are going to become an important part of that girl's life weather you want to admit it or not" she said as she walked out of my room.

I got up from the chair and went to brush my teeth.

When I came back, I walked into my closet and pulled out a box I had in one of the coats hanging there. I opened the box and looked at the piece of jewelry that I never gave to Tanya.

As I looked at it, I thought about becoming an important part of Bella's life. But how could that be possible? Could I fall for this girl?

I knew the answer to that.

Yes, I could fall for Bella. She was the opposite of every other girl and that only attracted me more to her.

But there were other things to consider too.

Could I really move on? Could I leave Tanya behind and be with someone else?

More than once I had contemplated the idea of meeting someone else and being happy, but I knew that my chances at happiness had been buried with Tanya's body. They were so gone that there was nothing left for me to do but wallow in anger, sadness, misery, and little reminders like this necklace that were witnesses to my pain.

I had loved Tanya so much and I now I was left without the hope for a happy ending in my life. My happy ending was dead. So how could I possibly fix myself when I couldn't find it in me to move on?

I closed the box again and walked out of the closet. I took off my clothes and turned off the lights. As I sat there in bed I thought about all of this.

How could I possibly help Bella when I couldn't help myself?

I wasn't sure about anything.

I was only sure of one thing. And that was that Bella was already on my mind, and nothing could possibly get her out of it.

With that conviction I drifted to sleep, and even then, I dreamt of a girl with beautiful chocolate eyes…Bella.

**A/N: So we're seeing the sparks already. This is so exciting. What do you guys think? Please don't forget to comment. Thanks.**


	5. Breakdown

**A/N: Ok this chapter will give you a closer look at Bella's life and relationship with James. It's kind of strong so you've been warned. Don't forget to comment!**

**Disclaimer:**No matter how much we wish for them, all Twilight characters still belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Chapter Song**: Breakdown by Seether

**Breakdown**

And I'm the one you can never trust

Because wounds are ways to reveal us

And yeah, I could have tried and devoted my life to both of us

But what a waste of my time when the world we had was yours.

**BPOV:**

The next day, Wednesday, I woke up at nine. I usually didn't sleep until late but I felt kind of tired so I just slept in.

I didn't have school today so I went downstairs in my pajamas and started taking out the ingredients I needed to make me some breakfast. I turned on the TV and put on the music video channel so that I could cook at ease.

Before I even started I went back upstairs and grabbed my phone. I had 3 new text messages from James.

_**Morning baby – James**_

_**Are you up? – James**_

_**Can I come over? – James**_

As I reached the kitchen I put the phone on the table. I didn't want to talk to James right now. _Or ever, for that matter. _

As I hummed to "Uprising" by Muse I started making the mixing for pancakes.

I like cooking because I'm usually really good at it. I'm very good at adding flavor to foods. The only thing I don't like about cooking is that it gives you time to think. And usually when I think, well, it's about James.

His last text message remained in my head as I was cooking. _**"Can I come over?"**_ I knew where that was headed.

My mind started backtracking to two years ago.

* * *

When I started dating James I really did liked him.

He was sweet and would always bring flowers, or chocolates, or any other things that girls consider romantic. He even bought me a giant stuffed frog since he knows I like them.

He would take me out to eat to nice places and would behave like such a gentleman in public that I would get envious looks even from male waiters. He would take me to get massages, manicures, pedicures; the works, with the excuse that I needed to relax and live a little.

He would always buy me gifts, even if that made uncomfortable. I have an entire collection of jewelry that James has bought me.

He would always spend time with me and I really had a good time with him. We were always messing around with each other. Calling each other out or just making fun of other people. _Yup… lots of fun._

We were always talking on the phone, even late at night, and when we were together, we were always laughing. We never seemed to run out of things to say. I think I enjoyed that we were so comfortable to say what we wanted about anything. We could talk about the most random things ever and it wouldn't feel weird.

Another aspect of our lives that we were very aware of was sex.

_Yeah I know I'm a church girl and everything_. But I really liked James.

Before I met him, I had only had one real boyfriend, and that relationship had only left me insecure of myself. Maybe not on the outside, but, big time on the inside. I probably looked like a girl who intimidated guys and maybe it was true, but on the inside, I was lonely and wished that I had what it took to attract a guy and to make him worship you.

And then James came into the picture.

Somehow he would always make me feel so sexy and like I was the hottest girl in the world. We were so alive with each other that soon after I started dating him the touching and feeling began.

It would always start out innocently with him lying on my lap and me petting his hair, or with me cuddling next to him. Then he would innocently touch my neck and I would feel the hair on my neck stand to end and I would touch him back. Over time, _and it wasn't long_, our touching went all the way to him sticking his hands inside my shirt and under my bra, just to touch my boobs. If it wasn't my boobs then it was my butt. He was always touching something.

Yet I didn't mind. I actually loved it. It made me feel special, like I _really_ was sexy, and not just because he said so, but because he proved it with every way he touched my body. And then we were always joking around and making jokes about sex and it was just plain funny. He was always making remarks of how I was so sexy and so desirable. It only made my confidence go up.

I was a virgin when I met him and I wasn't planning to change that. We talked about sex a lot on the phone and he would tell me about all his little escapades with other girls. _You would think that would piss me off, but it didn't_. He made it sound like those girls meant nothing to him so whenever he would describe each of the ways he took each of those girls, I would take it as a learning session for when we did it ourselves. _Way to go Bella… you are such an idiot!_

When we were alone, he would always try to persuade me to fool around. _And we did._ One time when I was home alone, he came over and we immediately got down to business. I took him to my room and he immediately started kissing me. Not in a sweet way but in a desperate way. As he kissed me and licked my neck while I was lying on my bed, he told me how much he wanted me and that was my undoing. I got rid of his shirt and he got rid of mine. He also took off my bra.

I had a moment of insecurities since no one had ever seen me like that but he quickly made me forget that. He started kissing my neck and going down slowly. His hands were at my hips, traveling down to my knees while my breasts were in his mouth, one at a time. It felt good.

He made me feel so good that I wanted more.

As time went on it was getting more and more difficult to stay off of each other. We were always making out and fondling each other. James always made me feel so confident when I was with him. He made me feel like I was actually capable of seducing a guy and that: made me feel powerful. But even though we messed around things never went all the way. James always tried to convince me to have sex with him, but I kept on saying no.

That's when things started going downhill.

Don't get me wrong; I wanted to do it but at the same time I was scared.

So many girls got pregnant that I was scared to death to be one of those girls, so I refused. There was also the issue that I didn't know what the hell I was doing. He on the other hand had so much experience that he could give some away and still have enough. That intimidated me to no end. What if I did things wrong? What if he doesn't like it? What if I got pregnant?

The more I refused, the more frustrated he seemed to get. We would get in arguments over small things like me not calling him, or me going out with friends. Other fights were because I would talk on the phone with friends when according to him; I could've been talking to him. He disagreed with the music I listened to, the movies I watched, the books I read, and just about anything I did. Then it was the fact that I would flirt with other guys at church, even though I didn't consider saying hi to someone as flirting.

He then became very controlling about the way I dressed.

James had dropped out of school to work instead, so he didn't see the way I dressed for school. He soon started asking me questions and I answered them honestly. He started making "suggestions" about how I should dress, and me like a dumbass would listen to him. Soon though nothing of what I wore was modest enough for him, so he proceeded to tell me to wear t-shirts to school. I owned a lot of t-shirts but only wore them on spirit days or whenever I was having a shitty day.

Soon everyday was a shitty day.

I would always put some resistance into these things though. I would often wear the shirts that I liked and when he asked, I would simply tell him that I was wearing a t-shirt. But one time he even had the guts to spy on me or like he liked to say "surprise me" when I got out of school when I was wearing a pink shirt that was V-neck. _Holy cow did he raise hell or what?_ For a whole two hours he bitched and moaned about how I disrespected him and how I didn't know how to be a good girlfriend and things like that. And when things escalated, he even called me a whore.

When I complained to him about the changes in his attitude he would become very serious and calm. He would sincerely apologize and with very good word choices he would hint that if I had sex with him he would stop being jealous and that he would never ask for any other sex favors from me.

At first I thought he would get over this but soon I realized that he was serious.

I loved James and I would do anything for him. He had always been there when I had needed him. He knew how my parents were, he knew what it's like living in my house, and he understood. So many times I was at the edge of saying yes, but would quickly coward up.

Then, one day he finally got what he wanted.

We were alone at my house and we were messing around as usual. He already had me out of my clothes. The only thing that I was wearing was my undies. That day he asked me if I would just let him feel me once and I quickly said no. He then said that he would wear a condom and I guess that eased my worries a bit. But I still said no. I was super scared and I didn't want him to think that I didn't want him. But I was scared.

After a lot of sweet talking in his part, I finally agreed.

The whole thing didn't last more than four minutes. He finished but didn't take the time to make sure I got my taste of the pleasure that sex supposedly gives you. As a matter of fact, after we were done (_or more like he was done_) I wanted to lay down and just be sweet to him because that was something I always pictured myself doing the first time I had sex. But no, dear James left quickly with the excuse that my parents would get home soon.

I soon found out that he didn't mean any of the things he had said.

He became even more controlling and more jealous. When we went out if I was looking around, he assumed that I was checking other guys out. If he saw a guy walking near me, he immediately assumed that guy was hitting on me and that I liked it. He became very strict about who I talked to. Apparently some of my guy friends were a little too friendly and even some of my male teachers, with whom I had a good relationship, were "perverts that had a thing for younger girls". I ended up quitting all the extracurricular activities I was involved in. I no longer went to my National Honor Society meetings, or to my Future leaders of America meets. I had to resign my position as the president of the Washington Association of Future Educators, which had taken me a whole year to earn. _Yeah even that._

I no longer talked to anyone outside of school, and even there, things had changed. I didn't really have friends because you tell your friends everything, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything about what was going on with me. I simply went to school, kept to myself, minded my own businesses, and went back home. James had accomplished all that, and I'm sure he prided himself in it too.

His desires also worsen. He would always ask me to play with him all the time and he would always want to touch me. At every chance he got, he made a move. He touched my butt, my boobs, and sometimes he even dared to put his hands inside my pants. But now, I was disgusted with the idea of sex. Every time he would touch me I wanted to puke or cry because I had been so stupid. I regretted ever having sex with him because I now felt like one of those girls that he did in the back of a car or in a janitor's closet. I think I even felt worse than that.

I felt so dirty and so taken advantage of that sometimes I would cry myself to sleep. _Sometimes I still do._

I quickly learned that he wasn't going to change and that if I wanted to avoid any confrontations with him I would have to learn to shut up. The best way to avoid his fits was to comply with all he asked for and to just not complain about anything. And so I did. I never said anything to anybody because I felt ashamed of what I had done. Not the whole sex thing, but the taking a guy's shit part. _Yeah I was, and still am, definitely embarrassed to admit that I am in an abusive relationship. _

I remained quiet for another year, but he still didn't change. I really did think that we could change our relationship. I thought that if I put enough effort to the whole thing, everything would be alright. I devoted myself to pleasing him, to make our relationship better. I went out with him, I dressed the way he wanted me to, I didn't talk to anybody and all that other stuff; but when I took one step forward it was like taking two steps back. He only saw the negatives aspects of my behavior. Nothing was ever really good enough for him.

Also this whole time he kept on asking for sex and I kept on denying him. This only made matters worse but I decided that he had done enough damage already. Soon after that, the insults came out of his mouth more often. He would often throw it in my face that he had changed so much for me but that I hadn't done anything for him. A couple of times he asked me what I had given up for him and that… _that really hurt_. It was like a blow to my heart. _What had I given up for him?_ Nothing… just the most important thing that I, as a girl, could give up. And yet… that wasn't enough.

It wasn't until a couple of months ago that I had finally had enough.

I tried breaking up with him. I told him how mad I was going and how I couldn't take it anymore. At that moment I didn't care about the consequences of what this meant. I was sure that there was something wrong with him and that what he was doing was not normal. I simply couldn't take it anymore.

But when I told him, the only thing he did was look at me straight in the eyes and told me that if I left him, he would tell my parents that we had sex.

And he had me there.

What's worse; _he knew he had me._

I love my parents so much and even though they are strict, I now see why they took so much care of me. The world is full of evil people and sometimes we don't realize in just how much danger we are.

I had unknowingly landed in the arms of a boy who has codependency problems, who needs to be in control of everything, and on top of it all, is addicted to sex.

The moment James threatened to tell my parents the truth; I knew I had to stay with him. _I just can't hurt my parents that way._

I cannot begin to imagine how much it would hurt my dad that his only daughter, the one that he took pride in because she's so smart in school, and the one that gets all the awards and medals, had been as stupid as to believe a guy and have sex with him.

My mom would be crushed and ashamed of me. So many times she had told me how a guy she loved once before my dad had only used her and then left her. So many times she warned me not to be stupid and make the same mistakes she made.

I knew so much better, and I couldn't come to terms with hurting my parents that much. So now I was stuck with James, wishing every minute that I am with him, that he would die. Or that at least I would die.

Sometimes I think that all this is my punishment for the wrong decisions I have made in my life. I made a mistake with James, and now, I was paying the harsh consequences.

Now, the only thing that kept me going with this torture was the thought that I could make my parents proud. I was a very smart girl and I often got good grades. I know that nothing would make my parents happier than to see me graduate from college. It would make my dad so happy and I couldn't wait to show him my diploma so that he could see that I'm not a total failure. I want to prove to him that i did at least one good thing with my life.

I had fallen in love with James, but now I was one hundred percent sure that he was not what I wanted in my life. As a matter of fact, the words 'I Love You' should have never been spoken to James. He didn't deserve anybody's love. I may be stupid for being trapped in this shit hole of a relationship, but I am smart enough to know that James needs help. I truly seriously believe he needs help. Sometimes that thought scares me. What if he ever does something stupid? What if he tries to kill himself? What if he tries to kill me?

* * *

As I came back to the present, I finished cooking my pancakes and I finally sat down and ate them.

As I ate, I day dreamed about meeting someone who would change all of that for me. I dreamed about a boy who would like me for who I am, and who would love me for everything I'm not, according to James. I dreamed of someone who would not have sex with me but make love to me. But I know those dreams won't come true as long as James is breathing.

I focused on the videos and after that I started cleaning.

James called a couple of times but I sent him a text message telling him that I had a busy day and he couldn't come over. He quickly called me and of course was mad. He argued and argued that he wanted to see me but I sweetly let him know that I had a lot of homework and that I needed to focus on it.

He finally agreed to let me work on my homework but only after I agreed to go with him to Seattle on Saturday to watch a movie. _Yay… I'm looking forward to that…not!_

The rest of the morning I worked on my homework and every now and again, the boy with the green eyes, Edward Cullen, would pop into my mind. I think it was because somehow I knew that I would see him tomorrow. That made me nervous, but also happy at the same time. _Huh? What the hell Bella, get a grip of yourself!_

I seriously needed to stop thinking about this guy because even if he is dreamy, I'm sure he's just like any other hot guy. He's probably an asshole that sleeps around with any girl he wants, treating them as if they are merely objects that you can discard after you are bored with them… Just like James.

_Yeah I better stay away from him._

After I was done with my homework I passed the vacuum around the house and when I was finished I felt disgusting and sweaty so I went to shower. When I came out I put on a pair of blue girl boxers and a white spaghetti shirt.

When I got out of my room I heard someone knocking downstairs. And when I opened the door, I wished with all my heart that I hadn't opened it.

It was James.

"What are you doing here" I asked, without letting him in.

"I really wanted to see you" he said. He looked down at what I was wearing and a mischievous smile started showing in his face.

I tried to step back and cover myself with the door, feeling nauseated with the thought that he found me sexy in this clothes. "Well my parents are not here so you can't come in" I said, reminding him of the rule my parents had given us of not being alone at home. Not that we hadn't broken that rule, but every now and then, that actually did stop him.

"Just for a little bit baby, please?" he plead.

"No, I told you I have too much homework plus I don't feel good" I said.

"So what, you're not going to let me in?" he asked, getting pissed already.

"I already told you, I'm home alone and I don't want to get in trouble"

"We won't do anything; we'll just talk ok, please? Can you for once not think wrong about me?" he asked again_. Let me think about that… uhmm nope, sorry._

"Look I just don't want to get in trouble please and I already told you, we'll hang out on Saturday. I have too much homework to do"

"Yeah, well you promised that you were going to stop this" he said, raising his voice.

"Can you please lower your tone? And what are you talking about" he was starting to piss me off.

"You said that you would put me first, and what are you doing? Blowing me off for some stupid homework? Yeah baby, way to show me that you love me. And I'm supposed to trust you when you can't even keep a promise" he said, pointing out all of my flaws as a girlfriend, right outside of my door. _Fuck you James. _

"You know what? Fine, come in, but if I get in trouble don't even bother to ever come back here. I won't give a shit about you then" I said. _Two can definitely play this fucking game. _

He stepped in and closed the door behind him. "Please don't talk to me like that. Why are you cursing so much lately?" _Fuck you bastard. _

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked ignoring his question

"Why are you mad?" he asked, looking surprised, like he didn't have a clue as to why I would be irritated. _Fucking moron! _

"I'm not mad. What do you want to talk about?" I asked again, a little softer, so that he could shut the fuck up and we could get this over with.

"Nothing, what have you done today?" he said as he walked up to me and hugged me. I just stood there without moving.

"The same thing I'm always doing. I woke up, I made breakfast, I cleaned, I did some homework, I cleaned some more, and right now I just took a shower and now I'm going to do some homework" I said, knowing well that I really wasn't going to get any homework done. I still had to try.

"Have you talked to anyone?" he asked. _What the fuck man?_

"Who am I going to talk to?" I asked, "You know I don't have any friends" I added.

He started pulling me towards the living room, where the sofa was at. "Let's watch a movie" he said, totally ignoring my question. He knew that I didn't have any friends. I'm sure that made him happy. _Prick!_

"I already told you I'm doing homework, I have a book to read and I don't have time to watch a stupid movie" I said, getting pissed all over again.

"Babe, can you please calm down? It's not like we're going to watch the whole thing. I'll leave in a little bit don't worry". _Oh great he came with a mission then. _

"Come here" he said as he sat down on the sofa and patted the space next to him. _I hate you, I so, fucking hate you! _

I started walking towards the sofa, and he was looking at me with the sweetest smile and soft eyes. If I didn't know any better I would believe in his genuine smile. I stopped and turned around.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "Did you not just say that you want to watch a movie?" I asked, calling him out on his real intentions.

"Yeah" he said lightly, while looking around my living room. I put on a movie about a group of guys who go to Vegas the weekend before one of them gets married. They get totally wasted, and everything goes downhill from there. It was a comedy and I really wanted to see it.

I took my time putting on the movie because I knew I would have to sit next to the prick once the movie started.

Once it did, he patted the space next to him and I went and sat there, leaning back on the sofa. He immediately pulled me towards him, making my head lean up on his chest while I was laid down on the sofa. One of his hands started petting my hair while the other one was placed on my stomach_. I can't believe there was a time when I loved this so much. _Now, all I felt was abhorrence for anything that had to do with his touch.

I tried focusing on the movie and every now and then I would have to move because James's hand would move to the seam of my boxer shorts. _Fucking pervert… keep your hands to yourself._

Somewhere along the movie, James decided that it was ok for him to stick his hand inside my underwear. I quickly squirmed out of his touch and told him to stop.

"Why? You used to love this" he said. "I thought you wanted to watch a movie" I reminded him. "Yeah I do, but it's cause you look so cute in these shorts baby, it makes me want to touch you" _stupid excuses, like I need them._ "Yeah well I want to watch the movie now, so please stop" I said seriously.

Telling James to stop though, was like telling him to keep on going.

He slipped his hand inside my underwear and before I could protest he talked "Just a little bit baby, I want to make you feel good".

At that moment there was nothing I could do. I could feel my eyes stinging and the tears were about to fall. I was so furious, but I tried to concentrate on the shapes of the screen to keep me from crying.

I felt his fingers roaming around inside my underwear, and I stood still.

I heard him chuckle and then he said with a soft voice that I barely even heard now "You need to shave babe, or get a wax maybe" he said, laughing again_. Keep dreaming bitch. I'm not giving you what you want._

"I already told you I wasn't going to" I answered him in a nonchalant voice.

"I know" he said chuckling again.

As I tried to focus on the movie to keep me from crying or punching him in the face, which would ultimately leave me with a broken hand, I felt one of his fingers slip into me.

"What are you doing?" I asked. He's really pissing me off.

"Shhh, enjoy it baby, please? He said with a soft murmur.

He started thrusting into me with his fingers and I could feel it. I was definitely going to cry. I closed my eyes shut and waited for him to finish. But he stopped all of the sudden.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I guess he noticed that I wasn't giving him any feedback. "I don't want to do this" I answered. "But you used to love this" he said again. "Not anymore, I don't, can you please stop?" I asked, knowing that he wouldn't comply.

Instead of stopping, or even saying something, his thrust started getting rougher and faster. "Babe you know you can at least act like you're enjoying this. I'm doing it for you" he said with a disappointed voice. _And what could I do?_

I closed my eyes shut again. I closed my fists tight and I complied with his request.

I acted.

I started meeting the thrust of his hand and I automatically heard him groan.

"Yeah like that baby" he said, adding another finger to his thrust. His voice was thick and broken, obviously he was enjoying this.

I was now in official robot mode. I saw nothing, I cared about nothing, and I felt nothing.

I just kept on meeting his thrusts, and making little moaning sounds to make it more believable. All of the sudden, I felt him pull out of me and I was instantly relieved, but then I felt him grab me by the waist with both of his hands.

I still had my eyes closed, and by the time I opened them I was straddling him on the sofa. He right away started kissing my neck and feeling on my boobs. I was just astounded and I put my hands on his shoulders, while I tried to break away from the grip that he had on my waist. I guess he felt nothing because he just kept on going_. Please, let me die right now. Please, I'm begging, somebody kill me please!_ He was picking up my shirt when the phone rang and it made us both jump. _Oh thank you, thank you, so much!_

I quickly got up and answered the phone. It was somebody who had the wrong number, but I was immensely grateful to whoever it was. After I hung up I went to the kitchen and grabbed some water. When I turned around James was there with his arms crossed, looking at me.

"Who was it?" he asked. "I don't know they had the wrong number" I answered. "Are you sure?" he asked. _Are you fucking kidding me here?_ "Yeah, I'm sure" I said with an irritated voice.

"Ok well let's go back to the sofa" he said, with a fucking smile on his face.

"I think you should go, my mom will be here soon" I told him.

He looked at the time on the microwave and nodded. "Did you enjoy that" he asked waggling his fingers. "Yeah I did, thank you honey" I said trying to sound honest and with a big smile on my face.

"Ok we'll I'm leaving then, call me later ok" he said, heading towards the door. He turned around as usual and wrapped his arms around me while kissing me. _Just a couple of more seconds and then you'll be free Bella._

"Ok" I answered back after I broke away from his embrace.

He opened the door and before he left he spanked me. I jumped just like I assume I would've if I liked it, and he just chuckled and walked out of my house towards his car. _Finally._

I closed the door and started running towards the stairs. By the time I reached my bathroom, the tears were on full mode already. _How much more of this could I take?_

I go the shower ready and I got rid of all the clothes I was wearing. I jumped in the hot shower and I let myself drown in tears while I washed away his touch. _I felt so disgusting!_

After a while I couldn't even breathe from so much crying. I had to stop myself and restart my breathing.

When I got out I went to my room and I looked for my pajamas and put them on. I lay in bed and wondered just how much could I possibly take? When would be the last time that his fingers would be on my skin? When would I be able to say 'enough'? _And just when will I be free?_

But I knew the answer to those questions. _NEVER_. I would never get rid of James, no matter how many times I wish him away. He's still going to be there.

When my parents got home, my mom cooked dinner while I helped her along the process. She noticed something was wrong and asked me why I was so serious. I basically told her that I had a headache and that I wanted to go to bed so I could sleep.

My dad heard me and told me to eat first. _I don't know how much longer I can hold this in?_

I ate and told them I would wash the dishes tomorrow. They said it was ok, I said goodnight and headed upstairs.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face in a zombie like state. I stopped thinking, and I stopped feeling, until I got in my bed. Then, the water works started all over again.

I'm so tired of pretending. I pretend to be a good girl for my parents; I pretend to be happy for James. And who am I kidding? Everyone but me. _I'm so tired of this bullshit_. Sometimes I think the answer would be for me to disappear, or even die. Because I know James, and no matter what I say, he won't go away.

As the tears kept on spilling, I started drifting into sleep. I thought about tomorrow and hoped that it would be a much better day than today. I knew it would be, and the fact that there was a boy with green eyes in three of my classes had a lot to do with it.

That night I dreamt of Edward Cullen. And it was a beautiful dream; so different from what my real life is. I guess sometimes dreaming is better than facing the reality of your life.

I wished this dream would come true though.

**A/N: So what did you think about this? It was definitely hard writing about the way she's being treated by James. Please don't forget to comment. Is anybody out there? What do you think will happen next?**


	6. Numb

**A/N: ok I know I'm being ridiculous here but has anyone seen the Eclipse trailer!!!! I'm so excited… and even more because the movie comes out June 30 which just happens to be my birthday!!! Also I'm very excited that so many of you have read the story…. Thank you… but don't be a stranger…. Leave a comment. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer…. You Rock!!!!**

**Chapter Song: Numb by Linkin Park**

I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
Become so tired so much more aware  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you

**EPOV: **

The next day I woke up late.

I went downstairs and everyone was gone already. I turned the TV on to the music videos then I walked to the kitchen to serve myself some cereal. I grabbed some cereal and some orange juice and headed back into the living room. I was eating in the sofa... My mom would be pissed if she knew. _Oh well. _After a while of just sitting there I started thinking about other things.

Bella

Last night's dream had been so weird.

I was sitting in a place that was familiar to me and Tanya was there with me. We were talking and laughing, and then all of the sudden; she leaned into me and kissed me. The kiss started out sweet and soft but then turned passionate and rougher. When I opened my eyes from the kiss in my dream, I noticed that I wasn't kissing Tanya. I was actually kissing Bella. What's even worse was that I wanted to kiss her back. We kissed each other passionately, then she leaned into me and put her hands in my hair almost as if to pull me closer to her and after that I abruptly woke up from my dream.

I thought about it for a couple of minutes but I couldn't even imagine why I would have such a weird dream.

After a while I was starting to drift into sleep again but the noises emanating from the TV woke me up again. I got up and washed the plate in which I had eaten. I then headed upstairs and took a shower, and brushed my teeth.

When I was dressed I grabbed my bag pack and my laptop and headed to the backyard. I sat in one of the chairs near the pool and I opened my laptop. When I did, I saw Bella's e-mail in the sticky note that she had given me. Her handwriting was kind of messy and I figured it was because she was in a rush, and most likely nervous too.

I put on some music on my iTunes and stuck the headphones in my ears. I started reading from my Law text book about the origins of the courts system but I couldn't focus. So then I tried doing some reading for Biology. This class was going to be a challenging one since it was a Biology class for Biology majors. I was only taking it because once you transferred to a four year college it was required. I didn't know what I was going to do after my two years at the Community College so I just took the classes that would be required at most universities.

As I kept on reading, I finally concentrated on what I was reading. But then I got hungry. _Damn it!_

I got up from the chair and decided I had had enough sun for one day. I headed back inside and put my stuff back in my room. I went downstairs to the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was full of things to eat, but I didn't know what I wanted. When I was about to close it I looked to the door and saw a bottle of chocolate fudge next to a bottle of cherries. _Hmm… ice cream!_ I took out the chocolate fudge and the cherries. Then I took out the home made vanilla ice cream from the freezer and I scooped the ice cream in a cup and popped the fudge into the microwave for a couple of seconds. I then poured the hot fudge on top of the ice cream and I added two cherries on top.

I sat there in the kitchen looking at the magazine that my mom had been looking at yesterday morning. But when I looked down at my ice cream and when I saw the chocolate fudge, my thoughts drifted towards Bella. _What the fuck Cullen? _

I wondered if she had noticed that I had given her a phone number for her to call.

Curiosity got the best of me, and I immediately texted Alice.

_**Anyone called? - Edward **_

_**A little impatient aren't we? – Alice**_

_**Fuck you Alice – Edward**_

_**She called – Alice**_

_Really?_ My heart started beating faster. _Holy crap!_

_**Just kidding – Alice**_

Fucking Alice I'm going to kill her one of these days.

_**Don't get mad, no one has called – Alice**_

_**Whatever – Edward **_

After I finished my ice cream I went back upstairs and I grabbed my laptop. _Man I really need to find something to do when I'm not at school. _

I finished doing the Bio homework and then I started reading the novel for history but it was so boring I gave up after the 5th page. Instead I started thinking again.

Tomorrow I would find out how exactly it was that I was going to be working with Bella. I wondered if we would have to see each other outside of class hours. I wondered if she and I could become friends.

Bella seemed like a quiet person and like she was extremely shy but that could also be the result of an oppressive life. Maybe she's scared. Maybe she's being threatened by her boyfriend.

_And maybe I was getting ahead of myself. _

What if Bella wasn't in an abusive relationship like I was assuming? All couples argue right? So what if what I heard was just a normal argument between a normal couple? What if everything I noticed yesterday was just my mind playing tricks on me? _I needed to stop thinking about this girl. _

As the day passed on I forced myself to stop thinking about Bella. She was just a girl in school and nothing else. Instead I started trying to find places where I could volunteer for community service hours that I could use for my Law class. I had a couple of options but decided I would make a final choice once I know exactly what the English project is all about.

The night passed uneventful. After dinner, my parents headed to bed early to do God knows what… _ewww, never mind I know what. I hate having a very graphic mind!_

Alice went to her room saying that she had tons of homework. _Yeah right_, she probably just wanted to talk to Jasper_. Loser. _

I just went to my room and did nothing. I got ready for bed. I brushed my teeth, and took off my clothes. I got my alarm ready, I plugged my computer in to charge, and I put on some music.

I took out some of the liquor stashed under my bed and drank but not much. I think I only got a little buzzed because the next thing I knew, the stupid alarm was going off and it was already morning.

**BPOV:**

I woke up on time the next morning and my eyes were burning from all the crying from the previous night. I went and quickly took a shower and got ready for school. As usual, anything that James did to me left me in a trance for a couple of days. The only thing that comforted me was music.

As I was driving to school I tried to snap myself out of the numbness that empowered me, but it almost seemed impossible. I thought about all the pain I have brought upon myself just by accepting to date James. And once again the waterworks commenced.

When I got to my first class the professor finally started teaching the first lesson over complex numbers. I took out my notebook and did my best to concentrate and take notes. As the class progressed so did my distractions. I was taking all the notes, but I was understanding and processing nothing. When the class ended I quickly put my things up and walked out of there. I started walking towards my next class history. This time I didn't walk by the lake. _I just wanted to get today over with._

When I reached the hallway where my class was at, I noticed that people from my class were outside, meaning that Black wasn't there yet. I also noticed that Edward was already there. I kept on walking and when I got closer I noticed that he was leaning against the wall, looking at his iPod. I looked down and just kept on walking. I started wondering how it was that we were going to work together for English, and how I was going to pull it off without James knowing.

I stood near the classroom door, and waited for a couple of minutes while Black got there. While I was waiting, I wanted to get ready for this class. I enjoyed history so much and to let James ruin it for me would be a shame. So by the time that Jacob Black got there I was already on school mood. _No one else should have to pay for what that asshole does to me. _I quickly sat down in the first row and took out my planner to write down the homework I had for math class. I also didn't want to talk to anybody. Black started class by apologizing for being late. He told us how his little kid had lost his first tooth this morning and he had to make sure the tooth got put away for the fairy to pick up. I like Black. He's a funny teacher. We then started to talk about where the first part of history had left off last semester. I knew exactly were my previous history class had left off. It was right after the Civil War. That's exactly were Black picked up.

During the whole class I was totally focused and was fervently taking notes. Every now and then, the professor would say something extremely funny and I would laugh. It felt good to laugh, and to not fake it, like I did when James said something he thought was funny. Also throughout the class I could feel somebody staring at me but when I would turn around I didn't notice anything. _Hmm maybe I'm just paranoid._

When class ended I put my laptop away and headed out to eat. I went to a Starbucks this time since I didn't have much on an appetite. _Another side effect of James._ When I got there I took the time to take out Pride and Prejudice from my bag pack. Pride and Prejudice is one of my favorite books and whenever I'm having a crappy day this is what I do. I read. I drank a coffee, ate a peace of banana nut bread and read the letter that Mr. Darcy wrote to Elizabeth. _What a man… I love him!_ When I only had twenty minutes to get to class I ordered a Cinnamon Dolce Latte and got back on the road.

When I entered my Biology classroom, the first thing I saw was Edward in the last row of desks in the classroom. He looked at me straight in the face and once again I felt like melting when his eyes met mine. I think I looked a second longer and saw a smile appear in his face. And then I felt the heat in my cheeks. _This is why I hate being pale_! I quickly walked towards my seat in the front of the classroom. I took out my laptop and started reviewing what I had read on Tuesday and Wednesday. Today we were going to learn about chemical bonding. _What does that have to do with biology… don't ask me cause I still don't get it_. But at least I knew what was coming so I wasn't totally lost. The class dragged on and on. I liked the professor though. He was funny and he made up for the complexity of the class.

When our break came I threw away what was left of the now cold coffee and then went to the restroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed that my eyes were still a little puffy from last night and this morning. But besides that I think I looked normal. I was already pale so there wasn't a lack of color there. I still felt numb and like the whole world was moving and so was I, but I was moving in slow motion. I put some water on my face and I tried to snap myself out of it, but I don't think it was working. I gave up and quickly walked towards Lab. When I got there, everyone was already there. Edward was sitting opposite of me today and was in between Kelsey and Lauren. _Hmm I wasn't wrong. This guy is just like any other guy_. They were talking to him and he was talking back to them. When I sat down the girls didn't even turn to look at me. Edward just looked at me and then looked away. _Like I care… moron!_ I took out my planner and busied myself while Emmett got started the class.

When he did I immediately focused on what he was saying. We were starting our first lab project. This was going to be a group project. We would have to come up with an experiment to design and then we had to collect the data as a table but the Lab Report was to be done individually. I was glad for that. _I didn't want to talk to these hookers or to him. He was just as bad as them. _When Emmett finished talking, we quickly started working on the project. _Well at least these were smart hookers_. We decided to test whether a person's leg length affects how fast they walk. We came up with the experiment and a hypothesis. When Emmett approved it, he gave the whole class twenty minutes to go around the campus to collect data. I was going to be the one to measure people's legs, Kelsey and Lauren were going to be the timers and the distance measurers and Edward would write down our results. We headed out into the hallways but everyone in our story was in class. We went downstairs but had no luck there either. "Why don't we try the Learning Center?" I said. Kelsey and Lauren looked at me and just nodded. Edward looked at me a little bit longer but said nothing. Lauren then started talking to him and he walked to where she was at. I walked behind them and was getting annoyed when Edward just kept on turning back to look at me. I decide to instead get ahead. I was the first one to reach the Learning Center or the library, whatever you want to call it. Kelsey and Laurent quickly went to find people who would help us with the lab.

Edward stayed behind and we waited in a sitting area near the doors of the library. I busied myself by reading the signs around the building when Edward's voice startled me. "Hey partner" he said in a monotone voice. "Oh, hey" I simply said. I didn't want to look at him for too long for fear that I might get lost in those eyes again. "So what do you think our project for English is?" he asked. I thought about this and it only brought a new wave of fears. Fears that all had to do with James. I really didn't want him to find out that I had to work with a male student in class for a whole semester. "Hmm… I don't know… I have no idea" I answered_. I swear this guy probably thinks that I can't even talk._ He looked like he was going to say something else but then Lauren interrupted him. "Hey Edward come over here… we have our guinea pigs" she yelled. _Doesn't she know to keep her mouth shut in a library!_ I hear Edward sigh very softly and like he was also annoyed. I secretly rejoiced in this. "Ok… let's go check out our guinea pigs" Edward told me. I started walking to the group of students that Kelsey and Lauren had collected and we got started.

After all of the data was collected we went back to the classroom. We were the first group to finish collecting data so we were the first ones to get the ok from Emmett. After that we were dismissed. I had twenty minutes before my English class. I went to the vending machines and got me some water and cookies, not feeling completely hungry yet. I looked outside and it was a somewhat nice day for Washington. It wasn't sunny but it wasn't raining. I went to sit at the benches they had by the lake. I put on some music on my laptop and I popped my headphones in my ears. I took out Pride and Prejudice one more time and kept on reading from where I had left off. When I had about eight minutes to get to class, I put everything away and headed in the direction of the classroom. When I got there Rosalie, who once again killed what little self-esteem I have, was standing by the door.

"Sit in the same place where you sat on Tuesday" she said, while smiling at me. I guess I liked her but I wasn't sure. It all depended on what this project was. As I sat down I started to get nervous. I really hope this project isn't something that's going to need me to talk to Edward a lot. I really don't want to have this argument with James.

I was so concentrated in my thoughts that I didn't notice that Edward was sitting next to me until Alexander cleared her throat.

**EPOV:**

When I walked in the classroom, Alexander told me to sit in the same place as I had done on Tuesday. When I looked in that direction, Bella was already there. I had noticed earlier that her eyes were puffy like if she had been crying. She also looked paler than usual. I wondered what was wrong with her. I was going to ask her in Biology if she was ok but the other two girls kept on trying to talk to me. By the time we walked outside, I was already focused on our lab. I was going to ask her when we were sitting in the sofas at the Learning Center but once again those annoying girls interrupted me.

Right now she looked like she was meditating on something. I quietly sat next to her, making the least noise possible. I didn't want to disturb her or startle her by making noises.

I really am worried for her. I wonder what's going on but I'm afraid to ask her. Plus I already told myself that I'm going to stay away from her. I can't possibly help Bella if I can't even help myself. This girl already had too many problems to be dealing with somebody like me.

Alexander finally came in and when she cleared her throat, Bella seemed to snap out of her stupor. She looked my way and her eyes widened in surprise, I gave her a courteous smile and then looked at Alexander. I really am curious to know how Bella and I are going to be working together for this project.

"Ok let's get started" Alexander said "Today I'm going to explain to you why you are stuck with the person next to you for the rest of the semester. Hopefully you have already swapped contact information, so that's out of the way already. If you notice your syllabus says that every day you come to class you have a reading response due. Well your job is to read the story assigned for that night in your Literature Legacies book and then write a response about it. What do you think about it? What did you like? What you didn't like? Was it boring? Was it long? I want to know what you thought okay. Seems easy right? Well here's the catch…" _oh crap… here it goes!_ "You are also responsible for finding the setting of the story. When was it written? What's the author's background? What time era was this? Was there any wars going on? Anything important in history going on at the time? You also have to tell me about the plot, and the Characters. What are their flaws? What are their strengths? What are they like? Anything you can possibly find, I want to know." _Holy crap this was going to be fun… good thing I like English_. "And last, you are going to come up with at least three themes for the stories you read. When you come to class the next day you are going to turn in the reading response. I want one reading response per person, so as a group you will be turning in two reading responses along with one story analysis. You have to do this in teams. I don't want to hear that you are taking turns to do the assignment. Do it together because you never know when I will call upon you to present your story analysis to the class. Also at the end of the semester you will have a group test in which I will ask random questions about these stories to each of you individually and then together. You better know them inside and out. This project will be forty five percent of your semester grade, so don't screw it up. Is there any questions?"

_Wow that was a handful_. I could hear nothing but crickets right now. She just smiled. I looked at Bella and she was just looking down at her laptop. I could kind of see a small smile in her lips_. Hmm so she liked this project? I wondered why? _

"Ok so let's proceed with the first assignment" Alexander said as she continued to talk

**BPOV: **

_Wow… what the heck was I supposed to do with this?_ Man this was a really fun project, but I usually liked analyzing English on my own. How am I supposed to know if Edward is any good at this? Yeah he's Gold, but that doesn't mean he's good at English. _Man… and how am I going to hide this from James? Crap! _

"Ok, your first reading response will be over 'Hills Like White Elephants' by Ernest Hemingway. It is on page 315 on your book. Be ready to turn it in on Tuesday with a proper heading please. We're in college not in high school; get it through your heads."

She paused a moment and took a look around the classroom. I'm guessing everyone had a worried look and I would bet a hundred bucks in the fact that she was enjoying this. She had a sadistic smile in her face, almost as if she was pleased in the fact that we were scared of this project.

"Ok let's continue with the class, since there aren't any questions. Let's move on to grammar, my favorite topic in the whole wide world" she said with a super sarcastic tone. For the remaining of the class she talked about colons and semi colons and how to place them in the right place, and when to use which. I wasn't really paying attention.

I was going to have to see Edward outside of class, and this was going to be rather difficult. In my head I was running through a million choices of how I could tell James the truth about the project, but they all ended up with a huge argument that would last for days and I was still numb but that doesn't mean I wanted to look for more problems with James. I thought about doing the project during my break after history class, but I needed my lunch and even if I didn't, I'm sure Edward still wanted to eat. The only idea that occurred to me that seemed to have a chance to work was to tell James about the project but tell him that I'm working with a girl. He still was going to throw a fit but it won't be so big as if it was a guy. Yeah… he would want to come with me to the library to make sure of it but I can come up with many excuses to hold him back. Yup that's what I'm going to do… I'm going to tell James that I'm working with a girl and that way I won't have to worry about him.

When I came back to the present, Rosalie was already dismissing the class. People started heading out of the classroom. I got up and started packing my stuff. I looked to my right and notice that Edward was still there, but he wasn't looking at me. I guess he felt me looking at him because after a while he turned to look at me with those gorgeous eyes. Right before I melted I remembered my irritation from Biology class.

"So what do you want to do?" he asked with that soft voice of his. I right away felt nervous about this project all over again.

"Hmm are you free on Mondays or do you have class on Mondays too?" I asked. I had a plan already made up, the only thing I needed was for him to agree.

"Yeah I'm free; I only come to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, do you want to meet somewhere?" he asked.

**EPOV:**

I was a little worried; I hope this project didn't bring more problems for Bella. I could tell that right after Rosalie told us what the project was and how we were going to have to work together, Bella was even more distant from reality. The whole time, while Rosalie was talking about grammar, Bella seemed to be contemplating alternatives of things in her head. I don't even think she noticed when Rosalie started dismissing us. After a while she snapped out of it. I had just asked her if she wanted to meet somewhere and I was hoping that she didn't take it the wrong way.

"How about the college library?" she asked. I guess she really likes the library. I quickly remembered that she lives in Forks like me and I wanted to elude her from the really long drive all the way to Port Angeles. "Where do you live?" I asked her just to make sure. "I live in Forks" she said with a low voice, almost like she was scared and panicked. I tried to hurry the conversation so that she could be on her way, I wasn't sure if she had another class after this. I got up and started walking towards the door and she did the same. With that I started talking.

"Oh I also live in Forks!" I said trying to sound surprised. She looked at me even more surprised so I guessed it worked. "So how about we meet somewhere in Forks that way you won't have to drive all the way to here?" I asked. I immediately regretted saying this to her though. She panicked and started mumbling and repeating what she was saying.

"Hmm no… I think it would be… hmm I want to… hmm I think…. Maybe it's… I don't…" before she even got anything out, I saved her the trouble. "You know what… that's fine, we can just work here at the library. What time is best for you?" I asked her. I felt really uncomfortable and I didn't want her to feel the same. Her face relaxed a little but she still seemed a little flustered. "Hmm how about at eleven o'clock?" she asked with a low tone in her voice. I thought about that, and I really didn't mind. I also wanted to tell her about the phone number I gave her. I wanted her to know that it was Alice's number. "That's fine with me… look, the number I gave you it's my sister's number. I gave you her number because I'm in the process of changing my number." I lied to her and was rapidly glad that I did it. Bella's face lightened up like a switch had just gone off. She even attempted to smile at me. Her words came out more defined now.

"Oh ok. What's your sister's name? In case I have to call?" she asked. "Her name is Alice, if you need to call me just call her and even if she's at school just leave a message and she'll try to get to me as soon as possible ok?" I said. She nodded and kept on walking. We were walking by the lake and now we were just quiet. The urge to ask her if she was ok overpowered me and I grew some balls and asked her.

"Hey are you ok today?" she stopped and looked at me with a frown in her face. "What do you mean?" she asked. Her brown came together and she was looking at me like I grew a second head or something like that. "Hmm you seem a little worried and not all here and I was wondering if you're ok?" I said again, regretting asking her. _She's going to think you are so weird Cullen… she's going to slap and you are going to deserve it_. "Oh… I'm ok" she said. I saw her blush a little and it was the first time during the whole day that I saw some color in her skin. I guess it was a good thing that I asked her. "Oh, ok… good to know" I told her. "Thanks" she said, looking at me straight in the eye. Her chocolate eyes were so deep and so enveloping but they were sad. She seemed very sincere when she said thanks that they only thing I could do was smile at her. Her blush got impossibly deeper and for that I was glad.

We had now reached the parking lot. "Hmm do you have a class next?" I asked her. She seemed to notice that we had reached the parking lot too and she looked at me somewhat embarrassed. "No, I get to go home now…" she said. She looked sad once more, almost as if she didn't want to go home. I imagined she didn't want to go because of the boyfriend. But I knew that she was also uncomfortable talking to me so I quickly relieved her from my presence. "Cool… well I guess I'll see you Monday at eleven Bella" I told her. "Ok" she said. I took one last look at her face and she seemed to be blushing one more time. With that I started walking towards my car thinking that Alice was going to have a field day with this when I got home.

**BPOV:**

I quickly walked to my car and started driving home. The whole time while I was driving, I was hoping that this thing with Cullen didn't backfire on me. He was very observant and that scared me a bit. He noticed that something was wrong with me and he asked me what it was. That was very nice of him and I guess that took away my irritation from earlier in the day.

When I got home I cooked dinner and cleaned up a little bit. I cleaned my room and started working on the lab report for Biology. I also did some of my online homework for Algebra. James had texted me throughout the whole day and the whole day I just answered with short replies. I could tell he was losing his patience so I would have to talk to him tonight.

When my parents got home we ate and I washed the dished and cleaned the kitchen. I told them about the project that I had with "Alice" and that I would have to drive to the college to do it. They said it was ok but that I had to call my dad at the station when I was leaving and when I got home. I was used to this so I didn't mind. After that I went upstairs and got ready for bed. When I was tucked in I called James.

Conversation with James:

_J- Hello?_

_B – Hey_

_J- oh hey how are you? How come you didn't call at all today? Did you talk to anybody at school?_

_B – no I didn't. I just had a busy day, that's all. I'm tired and I just want to fall asleep already. _

_J- that sucks, we haven't even talked. See I told you college was going to take time away from us. And what did you say? 'don't worry babe I'm not going to ignore you' but that's exactly what you're doing Bella, you're ignoring me!_

_B- Wow, just forget I said that… tell me how your day went. _

_J- It was ok. I missed you a lot. I just kept on thinking about yesterday and how we never do that stuff anymore. We used to have a lot of fun babe. I miss that. _

_B- I guess. _

_J- Oh hey, remember you said we were going to do something this weekend. You want to go to the movies? There are some good movies that are out right now._

_B- Ok that's fine. But can I please go to sleep already? I'm really tired. _

_J- I guz… well you better make it up to me on Saturday ok?_

_B- Ok_

_J-You promise?_

_B- Yes I promise. Oh, I forgot to tell you I have a project with this girl named Alice at school. I have to go over there on Monday to see her. No worries I double checked… and yeah she's a girl, she has boobs and everything. _

_J- I guess. You said you weren't going to go to the college unless you had to for your classes. _

_B- And I have to. This project is very important. _

_J- I guess. Ok well just make sure nobody's checking you out ok? Goodnight baby_

_B- Goodnight_

_J- I love you _

_B- Me too_

_J- Can you please say it aloud babe?_

_B- I love you too James_

_J- Thank you Chiquita. Bye_

_B- Bye_

With that I hung up the phone. I could feel the tears already spilling. I even had to fake 'I love you' now. _That's just ridiculous._ I was still in the state of numbness. For some reason I couldn't seem to snap out it. I thought about my day and I couldn't remember much of what had happened. After much thinking and crying, sleep raided me pretty quickly and I got knocked out for the night. I guess being numb helps sometimes because for once I didn't have James on my last thoughts as unconsciousness hit me.

**A/N: Ok so this was a really long chapter. I never thought it would be this long… but I guess. So what did you think of the alternating POV's? Do you like them better or do you want one chapter each? Let me know what you think… Thanks. **


	7. You Had Me at Hello

**A/N: Thanks for reading guys! I was not very pleased with the last chapter to say the least, but it's already done and I can't change it. (Well I can… but I'm not going to). Anyways I hope this chapter makes you all feel better. Also thanks to those of you who added me to your favorites, I am honored. Don't forget to comment. Thanks!**

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer… Thank you for such amazing characters!

**Chapter Song:** You Had Me at Hello – A Day to Remember

**You Had Me at Hello**

What have I gotten into this time around?  
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to  
You had me at hello.  
I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours  
It's simply radiant, I feel more with every day that goes by  
I watch the clock to make my timing just right  
Would it be okay,  
Would it be okay if I took your breath away?

**EPOV:**

"Alice, can you please hurry up?" I begged Alice while I knocked on her door. I was not in the mood to be waiting forever for her to get ready just to go shopping_. I swear this girl takes hours just to get ready to go out. I wonder how Jasper stands it._ Instead of standing there I just walked to the living room to wait for her there.

I had already promised Alice that we would go shopping this weekend because she didn't like the selection of stores here in Forks or in Port Angeles. I really didn't mind going with her. It's just it took us forever to get out of the house and I'm not a very patient person.

"Edward, dear you have to be patient with the ladies you know?" my mom said as she came into the living room with a mug of coffee in her hands. "Mom you know I'm not patient, and I think Alice thoroughly enjoys irritating me, by taking her sweet time to get ready." I complained to my mom. She came to stand in front of me and sweetly padded my cheek. Sometimes my mom makes me feel like a baby, especially in moments like this, when I'm whining about something. I secretly enjoyed being treated like a baby though. I love my mom and I'm not ashamed to admit that I am somewhat a momma's boy. _Though I would never say it out loud… I think. _

My mom just laughed at what I said and sat down in the large sofa. She patted the space next to her and I went to sit by her. "So how are your classes going so far?" she asked while looking at me. We hadn't talked much this week since she was very busy with projects of her own. "They're ok… I have this huge project for English that I have to do and it's going to take a while to finish it. My biology class is really hard too, but I guess if I read ahead I won't be so lost. Other than that, everything is fine; nothing out of the ordinary." I told her. I didn't mention the fact that for the English project I would be working with someone else, much less a girl. I know my mom, and inside her mellow and loving personality there's another Alice hiding. She would surely be asking hundreds of questions and I really didn't want to hear it.

"That's good sweetheart" she said but she looked like she wanted to say something else. I know what she wanted to ask, but, instead of allowing her to do that, I got up from the sofa. "Tell Alice I'll be waiting in the car" I said. With that I bended down, gave my mom a kiss on the cheek and then walked out of the house.

I got inside the car and turned the music up. _I sure as hell did not need my mom's pity_. I know she wanted to ask if I had met any girls and that if anyone had caught my eye. I know she would end up saying that she understood that I loved Tanya and that she knew how much pain I had suffered. But she would also tell me that it was time to move on with my life. It had almost been a year since Tanya's life had been cut short by her ex-boyfriend, and not a day passed when I didn't' remember that her death was the reason why I am the way I am now.

I hadn't been in the car for too long when Alice came and sat in the front seat. "See, I didn't' take that long" she said as she buckled her seatbelt. "I know Alice; that only took you about two hours" I replied sarcastically, as I was already backing up out of our driveway. She smacked her lips together and got louder "Oh get a grip Edward, you know you love me and that you can't stay mad at me for long, so I'm sorry that I took so long ok? I'll try to be a little faster next time." She said. I was driving but I took a look at her face and she had the most angelic expression in her face. "You're right Alice; I can't stay mad at you for long. I love you" I told her. She just chuckled and then we remained in comfortable silence for a little bit. I had turned the music up and then all of the sudden Alice started talking again. But this time she wasn't saying something good.

"So did you and Bella talked on Thursday?" she asked with curiosity in her face. She leaned forward and turned the music down. I wanted to turn the music back up but I knew that this was a battle I was going to lose. I might as well answer her questions.

She wasn't home on Thursday when I got back from the college. I was glad about it but I knew that she would eventually voice her question. She chose the perfect setting. I was stuck with her for a couple of hours and I couldn't possibly just kick her out of my car, _though the idea did temp me._ I love Alice and I wouldn't just leave her stranded here in the middle of the road, even if she irritated me to no end. I opted for answering her questions in a businesslike manner.

"Yeah Alice, I'm going to see her Monday morning to work on the project. I tried telling her that we could work here in Forks since we both live her but she couldn't answer me and I guessed that she wanted to work at the college so I just agreed with her." Alice was looking at me with shiny and over curious eyes. "Are you serious Edward? Oh my God this is perfect, we're making progress!" _we? What the heck is wrong with this girl?_ She kept on rambling but I wasn't listening too much.

Alice certainly understood how I felt about the topic of Tanya being brought up. She also knew how the mention of some other girl in my life affected me. Yet, she also understood that I didn't want people's pity. I didn't want people to feel bad for me because my high school girlfriend had been coldly assassinated by her ex-boyfriend. I knew I was the one responsible for Tanya's death. I am the one who could have changed the outcome of that relationship. And what did I do? I did absolutely nothing. By the time I reached Tanya it was already too late. Not even the doctors could do anything to revive her.

"Are you even listening to me?" Alice asked. I just nodded my head and kept on looking straight ahead. We were almost halfway to the Seattle. _This is going to be a REALLY long day. _

"Where's Jasper?" I asked hoping that my questions would distract Alice from her inquiry about Bella.

"Oh he couldn't come. He's busy visiting his cousins with his family; I wish he would have come though. You're no fun to go shopping with. Well at least you can carry my bags since mom raised you to be a gentle…"

Bingo! Now she's talking. This is how I love Alice… talkative but about her own life. Is not that I didn't' listen, because I did. I cared about her and I was very protective of her. How could I not? She was my sister.

I started thinking about Jasper. When Alice started dating Jasper two months after we moved to Forks, I had a serious talk with her. I didn't want her to be involved with Jasper because he seemed very stoic and disagreeable. To be honest he kind of scared me sometimes because he was always so calm. I worried that he was some kind of psycho that did weird things. But Alice was head over heels for this guy and I guess in time Jasper did prove to be a normal guy. We even became friends. Of course I also had a serious talk with Jasper. Let's just say that if he ever mistreats Alice, he better be ready to not be able to procreate.

We reached the mall in Seattle and it took us a while but we finally found a parking space. Alice was all but jumping up and down with excitement. She was still rambling about some special collection of I don't know what; at I don't know what store. I went with her to a bunch of shopping stores. I like that she didn't really ask for my opinion that much. Alice knew what she liked and had a good sense of style. Also, I think she knows that if it was up to me, she'd be dressed like a nun… not really. I just told her that once to see what she said. It was kind of funny to see Alice scolding me in a clothing store.

We went to the Black and White store, New York & Co, Dolce Gabbana and a bunch of other stores until we finally decided to take a break. I was ravenous and I know Alice was also starving. _She might have a small body but she eats like a pig… and that's not an exaggeration. _

We started heading towards the cafeteria of the mall. When we were passing by the theatre that had barely opened, Alice started walking towards the movies they were advertising. "We should check it out" she said without looking at me.

I really don't like watching movies; I prefer to listen to music or to read. Movies bring back too many memories. But like always I indulge Alice in whatever she wants. "Maybe later, can we eat first Alice, I'm starving!" I told her, almost in a pleading tone. The little troll started jumping around and celebrating like she had just won an Oscar.

"Ok, well I want to watch the one with the wedding and the whole family feud, it seems funny" she said. I have no clue what she was talking about but I just went along with it. "Ok Alice, whatever you want" I answered, as we were walking towards the cafeteria. I could already smell food. _Thank God cause I'm about to pass out. _

We settled for some Chick-Fil-A and sat down to eat at a table near it. We were both quiet, enjoying our food. Alice got a phone call and I'm one hundred percent sure it was Jasper. I know because Alice's face lit up with happiness and a huge smile appeared in her face when she said 'hello'. I was happy for Alice; she deserved to have someone who loves her unconditionally.

But it was when I saw her happiness that I saw my despair. I saw fragments of the person I used to be. I wondered if my face lit up the way Alice's did when I spoke to Tanya. I wondered if she was ever as happy as Alice is with Jasper. I'm not a big believer of soul mates, so I don't think we were that. But I know that I loved her and I'm pretty sure she did too. She showed it to me every chance possible.

When Alice hung up the phone and we finished our lunch I got up and started grabbing all the bags. I was going to go drop them off at the car since we were going to be at the movies. I was walking next to Alice with a bunch of bags in my hand. She was telling me some joke about a guy who got punched by a crowd of angry shoppers that didn't know he was the one opening the store. I was laughing because it really was funny. All of the sudden I saw Bella walking by in the hallway of the mall.

She was looking down, and she seemed very serious. Then I saw who she was walking with. She was walking with a blonde guy who I would bet my money on to say that it was her boyfriend. She wasn't holding his hand but I don't think Bella would be out with anybody else during the weekends. I remembered Alice telling me that she knew how her boyfriend looked. The urge to ask her if that was him was huge, but I know that if Alice saw Bella, she would go up to her and talk to her. _That, it so NOT what I want right now_. Alice will sure embarrass me in front of her, plus if that's her boyfriend, I don't want to cause any problems. I had to get Alice out of here soon!

I took one last look at Bella who was looking into a clothing store through the windows. The guy that was with her was looking at some other girls that were passing by. _Wow, what an asshole._ She seemed sad, and angry at the same time. I wondered if she knew that he was checking other girls out.

With that, I turned into another hallway and led Alice to the car. She was still chatting away and I was only half listening. I was now thinking about how some guys can just mess around with girl's feelings. Bella seemed like a nice girl and I'm pretty sure she doesn't deserve a guy like him.

When we got back inside, we headed to the movies. We were standing in line and Alice hooked her arm into mine, and leaned on my shoulder. She was a very loving sister and even though I was not a fan of public displays of affection, I let her do it. I know that ever since Tanya died, I became a stone. I don't show my feelings to anyone. The only people I tell I love you is to my mom, dad, and Alice.

I ordered the tickets and paid for them, when we were walking in I opened the door for her_. I might be dead of emotions but my mom did raise a gentleman._ When I walked in and gave our tickets to the guy at the entrance I looked back and Bella was coming into the movies too_. Oh crap!_ I grabbed Alice hand's and started pulling her towards our theater room which was at the right side of the concession stands. "Hey what's the rush, I want to get some popcorn!" Alice was pouting_. Damn Alice and her pouty voice_. "Fine Alice let's go" I said, not turning around. I don't want Bella to see me.

We stood in line while Alice ordered her damn popcorn. I paid for it and for two sodas. When I felt like it was safe, I turned around and looked around for Bella. She wasn't there. _Thank God!_ That means she's already watching her movie. We went into the room and we were already going up the steps since I knew Alice liked to sit all the way to the top. When I was going up I looked to my right, and there's Bella, sitting in the middle sits with the guy_. What the hell? _

I kept on walking and I looked one more time at her. This time though, she saw me. We locked eyes for like 5 seconds but what I saw was enough.

I could still see everything since the movie had not started yet and the lights were still on. Her eyes were bulging out of her face. She was tomato red and she looked panicked. She looked like someone had scared the crap out of her. Her mouth turned into a little 'o' and then her hand went to her mouth. She looked at me like I was the devil himself.

I felt a pull in my heart or more like a deep pain; I ignored it and kept on walking until I reached the last row of seats. From my seat I could see Bella and where she was seating. For some reason I was angry. I don't know if it was because this girl was scared of me, because she looked at me like I'm a demon, or because she was with that asshole. I was now seeing red, and I really didn't want to be here. At the same time I did want to be here. I wanted to convince myself that Bella was taken, and if she was, I felt like I needed to protect her. So there was no way I was moving from here.

Throughout the whole movie I heard Alice laughing along with everyone watching. I laughed too but only because I heard other people doing it. I was focused on Bella. Though I could only see her back and the back of the Goldy locks that was with her, I was paying so much attention to her. I was so pissed off, I have absolutely no clue what was passing through my mind.

After a while, Bella started getting up. When she did, that asshole pulled her back down by the arm. She turned sideways to look at him and she seemed serious. He then told her something and she nodded. She closed her eyes and then leaned into him. I wasn't expecting her to start kissing him passionately. The anger in me rose like it never had before. She kissed him and then got up. He smiled at her and then she started walking down. I turned to Alice "I'll be right back I'm going to the rest room" I told her.

She looked at me with a confused look and nodded. I started walking downstairs and I had no fucking clue as to what I was going to do, but I had to see her. I rushed downstairs without looking back but when I finally reached the hallway, Bella wasn't there. For a moment I wondered if she had left but I figured that since she was here with her "boyfriend", she wouldn't go anywhere.

The restrooms were across the hall and I was guessing she was there. I waited a couple of minutes, acting like I was looking at the movie advertising signs. Five minutes later I heard a door sound and I discretely look to see who it was, and yup it was Bella. She looked really pretty. The only times I had seen her, she was wearing T-shirts. But right now she was wearing a shirt that hung to her body and a pair of jeans that looked real good on her.

When she almost reached the door, I turned around and looked directly at her. She also looked my way and looked me straight in the eye. I immediately got lost in those chocolate eyes, and I lost all of my thoughts. She stopped and turned my way; she then looked towards the door to the movie room and then looked back at me. "Hello Edward" she said. _And … now I'm melting._

All of my previous anger just melted and turned into vapor. Her voice was so sweet and my name coming from those full, pink lips were making me ache for I don't know what. "Hi Bella" I said with what little composure I had left of myself. Her cheeks then blushed into that beautiful pink that I've only seen on her and she smiled. _Oh my God, she smiled!!!_ I had never seen Bella smile and I was sure that if I would've I would have melted right there and then. We were still looking at each other and I decided to break the silence. "How are you?" I asked her.

Once again, she looked towards the door and then back at me. I figured out why she did that. _Goldy Locks was still inside_. "Hmm I'm good" she said. Then she turned towards the door and started walking "I'll see you Monday Edward" she said and with that she walked in. I was just standing there in a puddle of emotions. Hearing her say my name one more time was weird. It did weird things to me.

I waited for a couple of minutes, trying to compose myself. Then I walked back in. I went to sit with Alice and she just gave me a small smile that I ignored and then I went back to concentrating on Bella. She was sitting down and I noticed that the guy kept on trying to grab her hand and he would hold it for a couple of minutes. She then would find an excuse to pull away_. I'm one hundred percent sure that she doesn't like this guy. He looks like an asshole anyways. _

The movie ended all too soon, and people started getting up. Alice was getting up, but I took her hand and pulled her back down. She looked at me with a 'what da hell' face. "Just hang on, I want to chill for a second" I told her. She looked at me like I was growing a third eye and just sat there. I waited for Bella to exit the room with that guy and then I waited a couple of more minutes. I didn't want Bella to feel nervous because I was there.

By now I was sure that she didn't want to be with him and that she was scared of him seeing her talking to another guy.

After a couple of minutes I got up and Alice followed suit. We exited the mall and walked towards the parking lot. Alice said she wanted to grab something to eat so we went to an Italian restaurant. The whole time I was driving I was thinking about Bella and how unhappy she seemed when she was sitting next that guy. But then I wondered why she didn't get rid of him. I'm sure it wasn't that hard to say it's over, or I'm done.

When we started driving towards home, Alice finally talked. I hadn't even noticed she was quiet the whole time. "Ok, you have got to tell me what Bella told you?" she said. _What? Did she also see Bella?_ "What are you talking about Alice; I thought we already talked about this?" I told her, trying to play stupid. "I'm not dumb Edward, I saw you get up when she got up at the movies, so tell me, what did she tell you?" _damn this girl missed nothing!_ "Nothing Alice, she just said hello and I'll see you Monday" I said, sounding defeated all over again. "That's all?" she asked with some disappointment and surprise in her voice. I just nodded.

Alice was silent after that. Or maybe I just didn't hear what she was saying. I was too busy thinking. When I got home I said goodnight and went to my room. It was still early but my parents didn't say anything since they were used to me spending lots and lots of time in my room. I stayed there for the rest of the afternoon, just thinking. I kept on thinking about Bella and why she didn't break it up with this guy.

Then, I started remembering Tanya and somewhere along my thinking a switch went off.

Bella couldn't break up with her boyfriend because maybe he was threatening her. Maybe, if she got away from him, she could end up just like Tanya. The mere thought of Bella being hurt bothered me. I was angry all over again. Angry at the asshole who decided that he couldn't let go of my girlfriend; I was angry at myself for not stopping him, and I was angry at the world for putting me in the same position all over again.

Bella is a sweet, beautiful girl and I know she deserves better than that guy. I just can't bring myself to understand why I'm put into this situation all over again. I can't handle it. I don't know what to do.

Night had already settled in, and I started thinking more and more about Bella. I started thinking about what she had said today and how she looked. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was scared because I now know that I can't stay away from Bella. I have to find a way to protect her, to save her from the situation that she's in. But also, I can't stay away from Bella because the way my name sounded on her lips was addicting and I knew for sure that she had me at 'Hello'. Now I just had to figure out how I was going to save Bella.

**A/N: So what did you think about this? I hope you guys are enjoying this. I noticed that so many of you are reading but I'm not getting any reviews. **** Come on guys… don't make me beg! **


	8. Lips of an Angel

**A/N: I am so, so, sorry guys… but this week was really killing me… I had a million things to do for my classes, and to make it all better… family members from Florida came over to visit for their spring break. So yeah… it was awesome (sarcasm dripping slowly from every word!) Anyways… I hope you enjoy this chapter… thanks to everyone for supporting my story… Don't forget to comment.**

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer… I love you!

**Chapter Song:** Lips of an Angel – Hinder

**Lips of an Angel **

It's really good to hear your voice

Saying my name it sound so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never want to say goodbye

But girl (Boy) you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

**BPOV**

To say that Saturday sucked was an understatement. James had called me early in the morning to torture me with the thought of going out with him. Then to top it all off I saw Edward there. I was mortified and scared. Not so much for me but for Edward. I know how James is when he gets mad and I don't _EVER_ want him to find out about Edwards because he will do something crazy and that scares me.

I hated going out with James. He always found something to complain about when I went out with him. When he picked me up, we had gotten in a fight over the clothes I was wearing. I knew I had to dress up because if I didn't he would automatically assume that I dressed up for school but not for him. That would just add another argument to my list, and I avoided fight with James like the plague. So I had put on a pair of skinny jeans and a white shirt that hung to my body. The shirt had a pattern of blue flowers in it. I straightened my hair and but a navy blue pin on it. I also put on my navy blue vans on. When I was done I actually felt good because I knew I looked good. But when James picked me up I found out I was wrong.

James quickly started telling me that I was changing, and I that I was dressing like a different person. He told me to quit trying to be someone else just because most of the times I went out with him I wore regular jeans and not the skinny ones. He also didn't like the shoes, or the shirt. He told me that I looked ugly. _Yeah… thanks boyfriend_. I should be used to James's hurtful words by now, but every now and then, whatever he said, hurt. When he told me I looked ugly I shut the hell up and quietly told him to turn the car around that I was going to change into something pretty. But he didn't. He just told me that what was done was already done, and that I couldn't take it back. All I had to do according to him was stop being a fake.

When we got to the mall, I tried my best not to look around for fear that James would think I was looking at guys passing by. I also avoided James's hand_. I sure as hell don't want to be seen with you asshole!_ It also was no news to me that when I was out with James, he would shamelessly check other girls out. To be honest, it really didn't bother me. As a matter of fact, I sometimes wished that he would fall for one of those girls and leave me the hell alone already but I know that's not going to happen.

Then things got worse when I saw Edward standing in line to get tickets at the movies_. Just my luck I swear! _Then I noticed that he was with a pretty girl. She was leaning against him and though I could only see their backs, I knew she was pretty. I felt a wave of disappointment though I don't know why. _Of course a guy as gorgeous as Edward would have a girlfriend. _

It was times like those, when I saw other couples, that I felt miserable. I know that being in a relationship with somebody is about having fun and not about fighting and bickering all of the time. I often felt envious when I saw girls with their boyfriends, laughing, and playing around in public. That was something I wanted but couldn't have. The possibility of me laughing like that with James was so extraneous to me, that i didn't even daydream about it.

After I paid for the tickets, because James "forgot his wallet in the car" we went inside. James asked me if I was going to get anything to eat but I saw Edward and the pretty girl headed in that direction_. Never mind… moving on!_ I led James into the room where we were going to watch the movie. I didn't want to sit all the way to the back because I know what happens back there… and I really didn't want to put up with James crap at the moment_. I was already hanging by a thread._ Then to make matters even worse… if that was even possible, I see Edward walking up the side stairs with the pretty girl. Our eyes locked for a couple of seconds and I don't even know what happened there. I looked at him and he looked at me. His green eyes bore into mine and I felt my heartbeat pick up. At the same time fear washed over me. I think I even put my hand in my mouth. _Seriously I'm sure that by now he thinks I look at him like he's the devil himself. _

The whole time I was watching the movie but I really wasn't paying attention. I was irritated as hell because James kept on trying to touch me. He would grab my hand and then rub my leg and my inner thighs_. I hate that shit so much!_ I kept on making excuses to move out of his grip but he was stubborn and kept on trying. At the same time I was nervous because I know that Edward was a couple of rows behind me and I was praying that he couldn't see me because… _hmm well just because! _

It was only when stupid James wanted to touch my boobs that I got up and started trying to walk to the rest room. James grabbed my hand and pulled me back down. My hand hurt but I was pissed so I didn't even feel the pain until later that night. He asked where I was going and why. I told him I was going to the rest room and then he said ok as long as I don't talk to anybody. Then he asked me for a kiss. I leaned into him and gave him a peck but he grabbed my back and pulled me towards him_. I could've just died in that moment_. He of course wanted a full make out session and since I really wanted to get out of there I gave it to him and after that I went to the rest room to wash my mouth and my hands as thoroughly as possible in a public rest room. I was so disgusted with myself.

When I came out I saw Edward outside looking at the signs. Though I hadn't seen his face I knew it was him because of his bronze, messy, sexy, hair. My heartbeat picked up yet again and I started walking towards the room when he turned around. At that moment I couldn't just ignore him so I double checked to make sure James wasn't coming out to get me and I talked to Edward. I was super nervous but his smooth deep, voice calmed me down. I think I even smiled at him, which is something I hadn't done the whole day. I told him I would see him Monday and that was the last time I saw because once the movie ended I shot out of there like a bullet_. I definitely did not need James, Edward, his girlfriend, and me in the same place. Things would definitely get ugly! _

When we were on our way back James of course wanted to stop to have "a little fun" as he likes to call it. I was so distracted by thoughts of Edward and his girlfriend that I didn't even put up a fight. Of course I didn't have sex with him but he still tried_. Asshole! I can never describe how much I fucking hate James. _Sometimes I feel like I could die from all the hate that circulates through my veins_. Yeah if only that were possible…_

He dropped me off at home and then left. I went to bed that night thinking about Edward. For some reason, the way he had looked at me when I talked to him made me feel safe and calm.

So now it's Monday and I'm nervous as hell because I have to see Edward. I know we said we were going to meet in the library but I wasn't sure where exactly. _The damn library is huge!_ So I texted his sister Alice… hopefully I don't get her in trouble at school.

**Alice? – B**

**Yup – A**

**This is Bella idk if Edward said anything about me to u? – B**

**Omg yeah… what's up Bella? – A**

Wow, she's really friendly.

**Can you ask your bro if he can get one of the offices reserved for us?**

**Sure hang on – A**

I waited for a couple of minutes and while I was putting everything in my bag pack i heard my phone buzz once again.

**He said ok and that he's on his way – A**

**Thank you so much – B**

**No problem Bella… anytime – A**

Like I said, she's really friendly. She sounds nice and not as shy as her brother. _Hmm… interesting._ I drove to the college in Port Angeles and when I got there the nerves really started kicking in. I had told James that it was with a girl and I was sure that in a couple of minutes he would be calling me.

I called my dad and told him that I got here safe and sound, he said ok and to try to get back home as soon as possible. After I hung up I walked into the college library and started heading towards the private offices that I loved so much. They were all the way to the back of the library so not that many people walked around that area. That was good, just in case James decided to prove that I was with a girl.

When I turned around in the corner I saw Edward in one of the offices. He was sitting down with his headphones on and was reading our English book. If my heartbeat could get any faster… well it did. I felt hot and nervous and like I was about to pass out. _This boy does this to me… and I don't know why! _

I kept on walking praying that James didn't ruin my morning! I opened the door and I'm guessing Edward had the music really loud because he didn't even move. I put my bag pack and he finally looked up. His eyes could've popped right out of his face and it was kind of funny to catch him by surprise.

"Oh! Hey how are you?" he asked while removing his headphones. Once again his smooth voice calmed my nerves down. He was looking at me but I was trying to avoid his gaze_. I know what those eyes can do and I sure as hell don't want to look stupid anymore!_ "I'm good, thanks" I said while I sat down on the opposite side of the table. I started opening my bag pack and taking out my laptop and my English book. I wanted to get down to business and to get this over with as soon as possible. He was looking at me still and I could feel myself blushing because I hated it that he was looking at me. So I broke the silence and snapped him out of his musing.

"Ok well let's get started with this thing… God knows how long it's going to take us" I said looking at my book. He finally snapped out of it and started looking at his book. "Oh yeah… hmm we should start by reading the story. Do you want to read out loud or do you want me to read it?" well of course I wasn't going to miss a chance to hear his sexy voice! "You go ahead and read it" I said nonchalantly. He started reading "Hills Like white Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway and I immediately succumbed to his voice. I think anything that came out of Edward's lips sounded like poetry. He could read well and didn't even mess up once. When he finished reading he put his book down and looked at me. I allowed myself to look at him and immediately regret it. His eyes drew me in and made me get lost once again, just like I did every time I looked at him. But Edward knew what he was doing because when our eyes met, he smiled at me. I cleared my throat and looked down at my book knowing that my traitor skin was giving away my blush… _damn it!_

"Ok… so let's analyze this then" I said trying to sound disinterested. "It's simple" Edward said. _Cocky bastard!_ "How so?" I asked though I knew what this story was about, I had already read a lot of Hemingway and I actually loved him. "Well let's see, the girl is pregnant, the guy doesn't want the kid, she's talking about random things which in reality symbolize the options they have to whether keep the baby or not, also the elephants can represent the obstacles/the baby that are in their way to happiness… so yeah, very simple" he said looking at me with his damn cocky smile one more time. We were both silent and then it just felt awkward. I felt like we had our own pair of elephants in this damn tiny office. I was suffocating and I needed to escape from Edward.

"I take it that you're an English major?" I asked him. "I'm actually undecided, but I really like English" he said. "Oh I see" I said. I felt my phone vibrate and I quickly panicked. I started looking outside of the office to see if I saw any signs of James but didn't see anything. I took out my phone and saw that I had a text message.

**Are you with her right now? – J**

I replied a simple yes, and I'm busy and closed my phone. Edward was looking at me the whole time and I swear it was starting to make me very self-conscious.

"Ok let's keep going" I said as I started typing in my laptop. Edward did the same but then all of the sudden he stopped. "Was that your boyfriend?" he asked. _Oh my God, are you serious?_ "Hmm yeah… why do u ask?" I answered back. "For no reason" he said but he looked a little disappointed but at the same time like he was confirming something. Then he kept on typing on the laptop. We continued like that in silence while I was trying to figure out why is it that he had asked me that question. Then we had to do the analysis.

The analysis took a while longer but we finished it. We only talked about the analysis and about what we found when we researched certain things about Hemingway. In the back of my mind I was still wondering why Edward had asked me that but I really couldn't find an answer to that. _I wished I could read minds!_ I received another message from James but decided to ignore it. I was going to pay hell for it but oh well. I was already nervous enough just by being in the same room with Edward.

When we were done I started putting everything away and Edward did the same. "Ok so I'll see you here on Wednesday for the next paper" I told him. He looked at me like he wanted to say something but was scared to do so. "What's wrong?" I asked. _Please don't tell me you're bailing on me!!! _"It's just that I was thinking that in order to avoid the drive all the way maybe we could do it at my house…?" he sort of said and asked at the same time. "Oh!" was all I said. I couldn't really go to Edward's house could I? Just then, a new enigma opened up before me. I wonder how Edward Cullen lives. How does he act when he's at home? Is he a messy boy or a clean freak? I wanted to know all these things but then I thought again and knew that even if I told James that I was going to 'Alice's' house, he would want to come along to see if it was true. _That was one argument I didn't want to have_. Edward was still waiting for my answer "Hmm… I still think we should do it here at the library if you don't mind" I answered.

Edward looked down to his bag pack, grabbed it, threw it across his back and looked at me. A new wave of disappointment was plastered on his face. "Ok, that's fine with me" he said. His voice sounded different and when I saw his eyes they looked sad. Edward looked like if he was thinking of something that was almost painful. I felt the need to console him but I also knew that it wasn't my place. I had a boyfriend… a very jealous one and he also had a girlfriend. It was her place to help him, not mine_. I only wish it was…_ "Ok well I'll see you tomorrow in class then" I said and with that I walked out of there feeling defeated and angry.

If I wasn't tied down to James then I could go to Edward's house. If I wasn't tied down to James I could be a normal girl, talking to a normal boy, being friends with him. And if I wasn't tied down to James I could dream about once being the one whose place it was to help Edward_. But life is never fair is it? _

When I got home, I texted James and of course he was pissed. I was feeling like shit so I just apologized and told him I would call him later because I had to clean my house. He left me alone for the rest of the afternoon and though I was feeling like crap I still did all of my chores and cooked dinner. I also read ahead for Bio and history class. When my parents got home I told them how everything had gone and they were ok with it. The only thing that I didn't tell them was that Alice had the ability to grow a beard and a mustache. They didn't need to know that because if they did, go knows they wouldn't let me even talk to him. When I was done eating and cleaning… I took a long hot shower and got ready for bed. I really was feeling like crap and I knew I had to call the asshole of a boyfriend that I have. I decided that the faster I got this over with the faster I could go to bed, so then I called James

Conversation with James:

_B- Hey_

_J- Damn about time you decided to call. Did you talk to anyone at the library today? Was there anybody else with you? What did you talk about with that girl any ways?_

_B- No I didn't talk to anybody else; as a matter of fact I barely talked to Alice. We were typing the whole time ok? Can you please for once in your life just trust me? Damn James I'm sick of this crap already! Don't worry I'm not going to cheat on you with a girl man serious----_

_J- I'm not saying you're going to cheat on me and I do trust you! It's just I don't trust other guys. Ok I'm a guy and I know what they think. When they see a pretty girl all they want to do is get in her pants and I don't want them looking at---_

_B- So that's what you wanted then? To get in my pants… that was it for you? Wow that's interesting…_

_J- Bella you know it's not like that. If all I wanted was to get in your pants I would have left you the moment I got it ok? No it's not that you know I love you and I would never hurt you._

_B- I suppose… James I want to go to bed already. I'm not feeling good and arguing is not making it better, so goodnight. _

_J- Yeah you always want to go to bed. You always want to do everything but talk to me and be with me. _

_B- it's not that ok? I'm not feeling good and I want to go to bed._

_J- Fine… just listen to this… I don't want you to be going to the college unless you're going to classes. I don't even see the point in you going to college anyways it's just a waste of time._

_B- So what do you want me to do about my project?_

_J- Don't do it, you're smart I'm sure your other grades will cover for that one. _

_B- Ok well I'll figure it out… good night James. _

_J- Good night babe… I love you. Thank you for loving me back_

_B- Ok bye_

_J- Babe?_

_B- What?_

_J- I love you_

_B- I love you too James._

I hung up and it didn't take a genius to figure out that the tears were running down my face. I was so tired of crying. I wish I had the guts to just leave his ass and leave this damn town and just run away. But I know myself, and I'm a damn chicken. I can never stand up for myself. Right now all I wanted was comfort.

Edward popped into my mind. For some reason his voice always made me feel safe and I needed to hear it right now. I hit the call button on my phone.

"Hey Bella!" A sweet and chirpy voice that I assumed was Alice answered. "Hey Alice sorry to be bugging you but I need to speak with your brother is he there?" I asked. She just laughed "Oh don't you worry about bugging me Bella; you can call me whenever you want. I feel like we're friends already you know?" she said. I really did like Alice, she sounded really nice. "Yes Alice I know what you mean, you sound really nice and who wouldn't want to be friends with someone as nice as you" I said. She laughed once again but I heard someone else in the background yelling.

Alice don't you know how to knock! _Holy cow it was Edward screaming_. Alice was laughing… oh get off your high horse Edward; here… someone wants to talk to you she said. You better not be fucking with me Alice! I heard him say… wow first time I hear Edward say a profanity…_ it was kind of hot_. I felt so much better now, I was even chuckling.

"Hello?" Edward's voice came on the phone. My heartbeat picked up but it wasn't a bad feeling. I felt safe, and happy to hear Edward's voice. For once I didn't feel lost or like I didn't know what to say or stutter. "Hey Edward this is Bella, sorry to be bugging you so late at night" I said with new confidence. I heard him chuckle and that sweet voice saying my name made me feel things I had never felt before. "Bella, its ok don't worry, I was still up anyways. What's going on?" He asked. "I just wanted to tell you that yeah… we can work at your house on Wednesday if you want to" I said, hoping he hadn't changed his mind. "Oh are you serious?" he asked with a super surprised voice. "Oh we don't have to if you can't anymore…" I told him; maybe he had changed his mind. "No its ok Bella we can do it here. I'll give you the address tomorrow in class ok?" he asked.

I knew our conversation was driving to an end and I didn't' want it to. I wanted to keep on hearing Edward's voice until I fell asleep, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. "Yeah that's ok, thanks Edward" I said "Ok, no problem" he said. "Well good night Edward, I'll see you tomorrow." I was about to hang up when he said something else "Bella? Can I ask you something?" _oh crap what did I get myself into?_ … "Hmm sure" I said with a little panic in my voice. "Are you sure everything is ok… you sound like you've been crying" he stated. _Damn this boy was good. He saw through me…_ what am I supposed to tell him? Oh well I guess I could be somewhat honest right? "I wasn't ok but trust me, I'm so much better now" I said, hoping that he could hear the double meaning in those words. He stayed quiet "Good night Edward" I said once again, but this time he did talk. "Good night Bella, and don't worry I'll always make you feel better" he said and with that he hung up the phone.

_What. The. Fuck._

_Did he just say that? Really, are you serious? Oh my goodness! I can't believe those words just fell out of those sweet lips._ I could feel myself hyperventilating and a series of inappropriate thoughts ran through my mind. Wait a minute did I just say inappropriate thoughts_? Hell no! Those were some good thoughts…_ I could imagine Edward making me feel good and let's just say that my mind went in overdrive.

Then I calmed down and though about things. Edward probably meant that he would make me feel good because he noticed I was sad and gloomy. And here I am being a pervert about it, but then again I don't think anyone could help those thoughts around Edward and his damn sexy voice. But when reality really did hit me I realized that I shouldn't even be thinking those thoughts. I could never be with Edward, as a matter of fact, being friends with him was a dangerous thing to do. But I couldn't help it.

I wanted to be closer to him, to find out what made him tick and what made him happy. I wanted to know Edward Cullen, but I couldn't. I guess for now his angelic voice would have to do.

_His angelic lips would be the ones getting me through. _

**A/N: Ok so we are **_**REALLY**_** making progress aren't we? I'm so excited! Don't forget to leave a comment! Thank!**


	9. Upside Down

**A/N: Hey everyone… hope you like this chapter… enjoy…. And don't forget to comment… THANKS**

**Disclaimer**: Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight characters… and we love her for it.

**Chapter Song**: Upside Down – Jack Johnson

**Upside Down**

I want to turn the whole thing upside down  
I'll find the things they say just can't be found  
I'll share this love I find with everyone  
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs  
I don't want this feeling to go away

**EPOV**:

To say that I was anxious for Monday to come is an understatement.

Saturday had been a weird day altogether.

First I bump into Bella at the mall and then she stops, talks to me and actually smiles at me… _yeah… talk about smiling. That girl has a beautiful smile._

Although I was mad as hell that her pathetic excuse of a boyfriend was there, it was good to see Bella. She looked so different from what she normally looks like at school.

I've noticed that Bella usually wears t-shirts and plain jeans to school. Well, at the movies she was wearing a pair of skinny jeans a shirt that complimented her body. She looked so different… dare I say she looked amazing?

_Yeah she did._

I was so anxious that when Monday morning finally got there I got to the college a whole hour before we were even supposed to meet each other.

I told myself that I was going to get there early so that I could read ahead and be prepared by the time Bella got here. The only down side to that was the fact that I couldn't focus on anything at all. No matter how many times I read the first paragraph of Hills like White Elephants by Ernest Hemingway, I couldn't focus.

I was thinking about Saturday and how Bella seemed so uncomfortable around her boyfriend.

I know for sure that he's an asshole by the mere fact that he's checking out other girls when she's standing right next to him. _Talk about being disrespectful._

Also, I hated the way he pulled her back down to her seat at the movies. No girl deserves to be treated that way, especially Bella.

It wasn't until 20 minutes after I got to the library that I received a message from Alice saying that Bella said to get one of the offices from the library. I told Alice to tell her that I would, though I had no idea what she was talking about. I went and asked the librarians as to where the offices were located. She kindly pointed me toward the back of the library, behind all the reference bookshelves.

I looked for an office that was empty and found one. I went in and closed the door. I put my bag pack on the table and I took out my laptop. I started reading again or pretending to read is more like it.

I was nervous and reading was not helping it. I had my headphones on and was listening to some Breaking Benjamin to try to calm myself down. _Well at least I knew she was coming for sure…._ She was on her way already.

I decided to try to read again and though I wasn't succeeding I forced myself to look down at the lines in the book and to attempt to decipher the words in the page.

I was trying to focus so hard that I didn't hear anyone coming into the office. It wasn't until someone placed their belongings down on the table that I noticed that Bella was there… _and she scared the crap out of me!!!_

"Oh! Hey how are you?" I asked her feeling like a dumbass for not hearing Bella come in. I removed my headphones admitting that these headphones were the problem. I turned my iPod off and placed it on the table to the side. I looked up at Bella and she seemed to be avoiding my gaze. _I guess she was back to that._

"I'm good, thanks" she said while she sat down on the opposite side from me. She started getting all of her things out of her bag pack and I grabbed my booking. Maybe she wanted to get this over with for all I know!

I went back to staring at Bella while she got ready to get to work and I know for a fact that she knew I was watching her because that amazing blush that only Bella is capable of producing showed up in her cheeks. She was the one who broke the silence and snapped me out of my indecency.

"Ok well let's get started with this thing… God knows how long it's going to take us" she said. I started looking at my book trying to look like I was here for the same reasons she was… to study. _Yeah right… bleh!!!_

"Oh yeah… hmm we should start by reading the story. Do you want to read out loud or do you want me to read it?" I asked her. For some weird reasons, Bella's chocolate eyes shifted from nervousness to mischievousness.

"You go ahead and read it" she said nonchalantly.

I started reading "Hills Like white Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway and from my peripheral vision I could still see every Bella's movement. She seemed to calm down a bit after I started reading.

This story was no hard task for me since some of the symbolisms in it were pretty easy to discern.

When I finished reading I placed my book down and looked at Bella straight in the eye. She was looking down at her book but slowly her gaze moved up to meet my eyes.

I could get lost for days in those eyes! _They're so beautiful_. But at the same time I noticed that I had produced an effect on Bella. When she looked at me in the eye, I could tell she would get flustered and that pinkish color would return to her cheeks. I smiled internally at this discovery and decided to prove my theory. I smiled at Bella and looked at her straight in the eye. She looked shocked and then recognition passed through her face.

She then cleared her throat and looked back down at her book. Her skin was super red and I immediately felt bad for playing mind games with Bella.

"Ok… so let's analyze this then" Bella said… probably to distract me

"It's simple" I said. I think I probably sounded a little cocky, but to me it really was simple.

"How So? Bella asked me in a defying tone… _hmm she's passionate then… good, good!_

_Well bring it on Ms. Bella_

"Well let's see, the girl is pregnant, the guy doesn't want the kid, she's talking about random things which in reality symbolize the options they have to whether keep the baby or not, also the elephants can represent the obstacles/the baby that are in their way to happiness… so yeah, very simple" I said, smirking at Bella.

We were both quiet and for just a moment the room and the environment felt much discomforted. _Yay we had a perfect example of elephants like hills in this very office_. A breather wouldn't come in bad timing right now

"I take it that you're an English major?" she suddenly broke the silence with the question. "I'm actually undecided, but I really like English" I said, a little happy that she was taking an interest.

"Oh I see" she said.

All of the sudden I heard a buzz sound and Bella's face panicked. Her whole personality seemed to contract immediately when she looked down at her phone.

Bella frantically started looking around, almost as if panicked that someone would walk in on us… Studying_? Seriously????_

I was looking at her shamelessly and Bella just started moving around. She answered a text message and then looked back at me.

"Ok let's keep going" she said as she started typing once again in her laptop.

Curiosity was getting the best of me and I decided to ask her who that was on the phone, although I probably knew who it was.

"Was that your boyfriend?" I asked.

Her face went blank and then full of surprise when she heard my question… _that means I'm not wrong. _

"Hmm yeah… why do u ask?" She answered back.

"For no reason" I answered quickly. I don't think I could help the wave of disappointment that washed through me. Although I was right, and I could tell Bella's reaction to that asshole, that doesn't mean that she's going to leave him.

In fear that she would notice my reaction, I kept on typing on my laptop and attempted to look busy. The silence in the room felt almost awkward again and for some reason I wanted to get out of here.

It also didn't help that we were in such a small office. I could feel currents of something like electricity floating around.

We then started working on the analysis. It wasn't that hard but it took a lot more time.

Bella had me impressed with how much she knew and how well she could conduct research. _She's brilliant._

As we were researching on the author and all of his previous literary work, I found myself wondering why if Bella was such a smart girl, she didn't notice right away that her boyfriend is an asshole. Those thought kept on circling my mind and there was no answer I could find for them.

_I wish I could read minds._

At some point while we were working, her phone buzzed again and I was getting ready to see her reaction, but she just closed her eyes, took a deep breath, look at her phone and went back to work.

She looked real serious and almost tense. I figured she wanted to get out of her and I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. So I tried hurrying up with my side of the research so that she could leave fast.

When we were done, Bella quickly started packing her stuff and putting everything away, without meeting my gaze. I started doing the same as her, and placed my laptop and my book in my bag pack.

"Ok so I'll see you here on Wednesday for the next paper" she told me. A new thought went through my mind but I didn't know how she would take it. Actually I think I had an idea of how she would take it, I just didn't want to hear the words coming from her mouth

"What's wrong?" she asked. She almost looked like she thought I was going to bail on her or something along those lines. I decided to muster some courage and voice my idea…

"It's just that I was thinking that in order to avoid the drive all the way maybe we could do it at my house…?" I told her and asked her at the same time.

"Oh!" was all she said.

She looked like she was giving it a thought and my hope started rising up. _Maybe she would come to my house_. I knew that if she did we would be more comfortable. She would probably feel safer too. I didn't like the way she looked around all of the time like if somebody was out to get her.

After a while she finally answered "Hmm… I still think we should do it here at the library if you don't mind" she said, her voice almost monotone.

_Of course…_ I thought to myself. I knew she was going to say no… I just was hoping she wouldn't. I grabbed my stuff and started getting up.

"Ok, that's fine with me" I said. The feeling of rejection from Bella made my chest hurt, almost as if someone had punched me right in the chest and I was feeling waves of pain.

I noticed Bella was staring at me so I tried to compose my face.

"Ok well I'll see you tomorrow in class then" she said and with that she walked out of the office. I noticed her body language changed the moment she stepped out of there. Her back was now hunched and I don't think that was due to her bag pack, her hands clung to her side and she was looking down.

I stayed staring at her until she disappeared behind the bookshelves in the library.

I stayed in that office a little longer, wondering how things would be different if Bella didn't have a boyfriend.

When I was driving home a new thought hit me… _things would be no different, even if Bella didn't have a boyfriend. _

I would still be the broken boy who did nothing to save his girlfriend.

As a matter of fact, if Bella didn't have a boyfriend I probably wouldn't care so much about her and I wouldn't feel the need to protect her all of the time.

_Yeah… nothing would be different_.

When I got home I felt defeated and I didn't feel like seeing anybody. Luckily no one was home yet. I put my stuff in my room and quickly lost my clothes and put on some swimming trunks… it was weird for it to be a not so cold day here in Forks, so I decided to go swimming.

I dived into the pool and started burning down some energy. I was stressed and I was pissed and I don't know what else I was feeling.

This whole situation was taking its toll on me. I wanted Bella to say yes. I wanted her to get to know me, but for what? So I could then tell _her 'you know what? I can't be with you… because I let some asshole kill my girlfriend and I will probably do the same to you'_? I don't think so…

Swimming did help my anger… but by the end of the night I was feeling defeated. I skipped dinner and just stayed in my room listening to music. I was not in the mood to see anybody still. So when Alice barged into my room I sure as hell was not going to take it lightly.

"Alice don't you know how to knock!" I told her… _pissed as hell._

What pissed me off even more was her reaction. Alice was laughing… I swear one of these days I'm going to buy anesthesia and knock her out for a couple of hours. _This girl has way too much energy. _

"Oh get off your high horse Edward; here… someone wants to talk to you" she said. It was then that I saw that she had her cellphone in her hands. My heartbeat started to pick up. Only one person would call Alice instead of me… _Bella._

"You better not be fucking with me Alice!" I told her, giving her a stern look. Alice's eyes widened and then she put her hand over her mouth. It was then that I realized that if Bella really was on the phone she had heard me curse at my sister_… very smooth asshole!_

I grabbed the phone from Alice and shooed her away with my hand… instead she acted like she was admiring everything in my room. _Nosy troll!!!_

"Hello?" I said into the phone. My heart was beating erratically and when I heard Bella speak… it went in double mode.

"Hey Edward this is Bella, sorry to be bugging you so late at night" she said. Bella sounded a lot better than what she looked at the library. She almost sounded confident.

I felt the urge to smile and Alice was making 'I told you so' faces at me. I started to chuckle but then thought Bella would think I was rude for laughing at her.

"Bella, its ok don't worry, I was still up anyways. What's going on?" I asked, curious to know what was in her mind.

"I just wanted to tell you that yeah… we can work at your house on Wednesday if you want to" _Holy Cow!!! Man I couldn't believe she had just said that. _

"Oh are you serious?" I asked with my still surprised tone. Finally my damn day was turning around. "Oh we don't have to if you can't anymore…" she said, sounding a little hurt. _Maybe she thought I was being an asshole to her. _

"No its ok Bella we can do it here. I'll give you the address tomorrow in class ok?" I said back to her.

"Yeah that's ok, thanks Edward" she said, but her voice changed so much. She sounded sad and it almost broke my heart to think that she was going through something painful.

"Ok, no problem" I said to her, but in the back of my mind, I was still wondering what was wrong with Bella.

"Well good night Edward, I'll see you tomorrow." She said. I knew our call was ending so I quickly spoke again.

"Bella? Can I ask you something?" I hope she didn't get mad because I was going to ask this.

"Hmm sure" she said almost not sure that she wanted me to ask her anything.

"Are you sure everything is ok… you sound like you've been crying" I told her.

She stayed quiet for a while and I was about to talk to her to make sure she was ok, but she spoke again.

"I wasn't ok but trust me, I'm so much better now" she said_. Ok… did I just hear that? Did Bella just imply that I had something to do with making her feel better?_

I thought my heartbeat was going fast before… well now it felt like it would burst out of my chest from all the pumping it was doing.

I decided to answer back to her but she went first.

"Good night Edward" she said, and I decided to talk.

"Good night Bella, and don't worry I'll always make you feel better" I said, and with that I hung up the phone.

_What. The. Fuck._

_Did I just say that? Really, are you serious? Oh my goodness! I can't believe those words just fell out of my damn lips._ I could feel myself hyperventilating and I could also see Alice staring at me like she was a blind person seeing the light for the first time.

I really hoped that Bella didn't take that as a sexual innuendo… or maybe I did hope for it. _hmm… I don't know… _

"What the hell was that?" Alice asked me, still staring at me. I snapped out of my reverie and decided it was time to deal with Alice.

"None of your business you nosy troll" I told her playfully. She looked at me pouting and almost about to cry.

"Edward you can't do that to me… please tell me why you have a damn smile plastered in your face?" she was pleading now…. _No I was not going to spill._

"Nothing is going on Alice… now can you please get out so I can sleep?" I asked, though I knew very well that sleep was the last thing on my mind right now.

Alice face became angry and then threatening… it almost scared me. "Fine I'll just call Bella right now" she said… _oh crap I am scared…_

"Don't you dare Alice… you're going to get the girl in trouble with that asshole" I said with panic in my voice. I don't want Bella to get hurt.

"Fine then tell me or I'll do it I swear" Alice threatened me again. _Ugh I hate it when she does this!!!_

So I told Alice everything… and to say she was excited was an understatement…

I finally kicked her out of the room when she started jumping around. She pouted a little but she was too happy to look sad… it was kind of entertaining but I knew that she would never leave if I didn't rein her enthusiasm in.

She finally left and her last words were now stuck in my mind. Right before she closed the door she told me "I told you this semester would be different" and then walked off.

Right at this moment I couldn't agree more with Alice… _hell yeah this semester was different…_ as a matter of fact, this semester was spinning my world around and upside down… but I'm not complaining if my world is left upside down. I was ok with that.

_Ant it had all to do with a sweet and small girl named Bella._

**A/N: so what did you guys think? Don't forget to comment! Thanks**


	10. Hot

**A:/N: I'm in such a good mood just because this semester is almost over!!! The only down side to that is that finals are almost here : - ( Wish me luck… I know I need it!!!**

**Disclaimer: as always… Stephenie Meyer… you are an amazing writer and an inspiration to all of us dreamers!!!**

**Chapter song:** Hot by Avril Lavigne

**HOT**  
I wanna drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound  
I wanna stay this way forever I'll say it loud  
Now you're in, and you can't get out  
You make me so hot  
Make me wanna drop  
It's so ridiculous  
I can barely stop  
I can hardly breathe  
You make me wanna scream  
You're so fabulous  
You're so good to me baby, baby  
You're so good to me baby, baby

**BPOV**:

I got up early and got ready for school faster than usual. For some reason, today I had loads of energy and felt like smiling at everyone who was in front on me.

I listened to Kelly Clarkson's Walk Away and found myself imitating the people in her video and dancing in front of the mirror with the brush in my hand holding it as a microphone. _I am losing my mind. Oh well!_

I went downstairs and since it was early I made myself some break and even made some for my mom. She wasn't up yet but I knew she was going to be late today so might as well leave her some breakfast ready.

While I drove to the college I listened to some happy music. I got a text message from James and I replied. I told him through a text that I loved him and that put him in a good mood. _Or as good as it would ever be anyways. _

It's always easier to tell him I love him through a text. I don't have to put such an effort into making a sweet, loving, fake voice. As a matter of fact, I could be gagging while I texted him that I loved him and he wouldn't know the difference_. Haha… sometimes I crack myself up. _

When I got to school I went to my math class and heard professor Bradley give the lecture but I didn't even try to comprehend one word of what was said. I was too far gone in la-la-land.

I was positive that my good mood was due to the fact that I had heard Edward's angelic voice last night. He had told me that he would make me feel good. I trusted him with that. So many times I had dreamed of someone who would tell me those words but really mean it.

It was funny because you would think I would be cynical about love because of the way love has damaged me, but somehow I wasn't.

Yeah I have days when I wish man would disappear or wish that they didn't exist at all. But most of the time I just had this gut feeling that someday I will get out of this life that I have built with James and I will be able to be free.

Free to find someone who appreciates the real me; the nerdy yet witty, and clumsy girl that I know I am. Somewhere… deep in me. _Oh god… I really do have loads of energy today… my optimism says it all._

After I got out of that class I passed through a vending machine and bought an apple juice and then walked towards my history class.

We had a small quiz today and I had printed some notes that I had to review before class.

When I got there it was still early. I had about fifteen minutes before Black got there so I took out my notes, sat on the floor, put some music on, and started reading. It really wasn't difficult at all. History had always been one of my favorite subjects, especially United States History.

A couple of minutes later after I started studying, I felt someone standing in front of me. When I looked at me I saw my personal sunshine smiling down at me.

Edward was standing there smiling brightly at me. He had an amused look plastered on his face. I immediately felt my heartbeat start to accelerate and my body felt a pull towards this handsome, gorgeous boy or man in front of me.

I removed the headphones from my ears and smiled back at him.

"Hey" I said with a light voice.

"Hello Bella" he said. Oh my god I swear I could survive on a deserted island with that damn voice. _Who needs food when you can have that?_

He was still standing in front on me and I decided I was going to play along. I had been so stressed lately that I definitely needed to chill and have some fun. I am still a teenager and every now and then it's good to let that crazy girl come out.

"So what's up?" I asked him, still looking up at him. I still had my notes on my right hand and my left hand was now on the floor. My fingers were tapping to the beat of my heart… which was really fast.

He looked at me and smirked "nothing just admiring the view" he said. _Holy cow are you serious? Well honey you can admire all you want!!!_ I felt my eyes pop open and started laughing when I heard him laughing too.

His laugh was like music to my ears. He threw his head back in amusement and then looked back at me.

He then looked at the paper in my hands and frowned. "What's that?" he asked.

I looked down at my hands because I had totally forgotten what anything was.

"Oh this is the notes that will be on the quiz today" I said. I looked back at him and saw that his frown deepened. _Did I say something wrong?_

"What's wrong?" I asked him. His eyes then widened and his mouth formed a delicious looking 'O'.

"We have a quiz today?" he asked. Oh wait… he didn't know_… well I could fix that._

"Yeah but it's a small quiz" I said. Then an ingenious idea crossed my head. "Do you want to use my notes to study? We still have like 10 minutes before class?" I asked him.

He was still looking sort of confused but then he nodded.

I extended my hand and tried to hand him my notes but he didn't take them. Instead, he moved and sat next to me_. Ok I just died and went to heaven!!! _

"That's ok, I'll share with you. You have to study too, I wouldn't want you to do badly on this quiz" he said with a grin in his face. _God this boy is too much. He's going to torture me. _

Instead of answering I just moved the paper to be in front of the both of us, and looked at it. Yet I saw nothing. I was drowning myself in Edward. His scent was amazing. He smelled manly, but sweet at the same time. I could feel his arm touching my shoulder and I could feel the heat radiating off of his body. I felt like I was melting right there next to him.

Out of the corner of my eye I looked at him and saw that he was in deep concentration, looking at the paper. He was studying and I would do anything to have his concentration somewhere else. _Ok Bella, get your head out of the damn gutter!!!_

I was studying his face when he turned to look at me and smiled.

"Do you want to quiz me?" he asked. _Why of course I do!!!!_

"Sure" I said trying to suppress my overexcitement.

He smiled and handed me the notes back.

"Ok ready? Here I go… what was the importance of the Lochner vs. New York court case?" I asked him. I was trying to go easy on him since I knew he didn't even know we had a quiz today.

"hmmm that it established a limit in the amount of hours bakers could work in a week" he answered confidently. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow with a devious smile on his face.

"Good job, you know this" I said to him.

"Ok missy your turn" he said looking at me with a big smile. "Let's see if you studied" he said smirking now. _Well bring it on Mr. Sexy._

"Ok I'm ready" I answered confidently.

"Ok… let's see… hmm oh I know!" he said after looking at the paper for a while. "What can you tell me about the sinking of the USS Maine?" he said.

_Well thank you for picking an easy topic buddy!_ "Well that would be a Battleship that exploded in Havana Harbor on February 15, 1898, resulting in 266 deaths; the American public, assuming that the Spanish had mined the ship, clamored for war, and the Spanish-American War was declared two months later" I answered confidently.

I looked at him and he was staring at the paper but had a smirk on his face. Well that's ok… _as long as I get to see that sexy smirk of his there's no problem with me. _

We continued to ask each other questions for the next five minutes until Black got there. The whole time I know I was all smiles and I bet that that little detail was clear to Edward. For some weird reason… I didn't care.

I went to sit on my regular sit on the front but this time something changed. Edward was sitting next to me.

I looked at him and he just smiled and shrugged at me. "My contact broke and now I'm blind" he said as an explanation. _Hey wait a minute!!!! Does gorgeous green eyes are not his? Well what a rip off!!!_

I looked back at the front to try to hide my disappointment. Those eyes were the ones I was entranced to for so long. They couldn't be pretend could they?

We took the quiz and then moved on with the lesson.

The whole time I was taking notes but I was not one hundred percent focused. A current of electricity was passing between the small space dividing Edward and I. no matter how hard I tried to ignore that current, it kept on insisting that I do something about it. I had the urge of pushing Edward to an empty classroom and just kissing him crazy!!! _Yeah like that will ever happen!_

I was typing my notes on the laptop but I had my outline out and had it to my left side. All of the sudden I noticed that Edward pull my outline towards him. I looked at him but he was looking at my paper.

I went back to typing and listening to Black talk, but with the corner of my eye I was watching Edward's every move.

He grabbed his pencil and wrote something on it. He did the one thing I don't let anybody do… he wrote on my damn paper!!!

He then put it back where I had it and went back to paying attention to the lecture. I looked at my paper and there was a smiley face on it.

I immediately grabbed his outline and grabbed my pen. I wrote loser on it and gave it back to him.

He looked at it and then asked "why am I a loser?"

He sounded hurt, it was adorable.

"Because I said so" I told him in a low voice still looking at the front.

"That's not fair" he pouted… _holy cow this guy really is adorable. _

"Haven't you heard that life's not fair? Now shut up cause I'm trying to pay attention" I told him. I hope he really didn't take it personally. I was just playing around. At the same time, I was asking myself where all this confidence was coming from.

After class ended I started putting my things away and he was doing the same. When I finished I looked at him and he was just standing there, looking at me. His face looked a little contorted… I wonder what's wrong.

"So what class do you have next?" he asked.

"Oh, I have a break right now until 11: 30 and then I have Biology" I told him. I still couldn't believe I was not stuttering in front of this guy.

"Oh really? Me too! Well duh, we have biology together" he said. _No duh dummy. _

"Yeah, I noticed" was all I said amused at the fact that Edward was not being eloquent for once. _Now you know how I feel cocky boy_.

He looked at me and this time he looked a lot more confident. "Hey do you want to go eat somewhere?" he asked. _Oh shit!!! What should I say? Crap! _

I guess it was now my turn to stutter "Oh… hmm… wh… what?"

"I said do you want to go eat somewhere since we have the same break and the same class together after this, I thought that maybe you would want to go eat somewhere, unless you're not hungry, in that case it's ok, I don't want to force you" _oh wow was he rambling or what?_

"It's ok Edward, I don't mind, but how about we just eat here at the school cafeteria?" I said wondering why I still wasn't going into shock.

He smiled that gorgeous smile at me and started walking "Ok let's go" he said.

I wished I could've accepted to go out to eat with him but I was somewhat scared that James would be somewhere in the area and find out about it. That would definitely not be a good thing.

We walked in comfortable silence until we entered the cafeteria. I grabbed a plate and prayed that the food wasn't as gross as it normally was.

I opted for chicken tenders and French fries. I also grabbed a fruit salad and an orange soda. Edward who was behind me grabbed pizza, a fruit salad, and a sprite.

When we got to the cashiers I was taking my money out when Edward put his hand over mine. I immediately felt his hot hand and that amazing electric current moving from my hand and radiating to my entire body.

"I'll get it" he said, removing his hand, making me miss that current of electricity already.

"No you don't have to Edward, I was going to pay for it anyways" I said looking at him. I'm sure I was blushing as always.

Edward just smiled at me and looked at me straight in the eyes "I'll take care of it Bella" he said.

I decided to give up but still felt bad for making him pay. He paid with a credit card and then we headed to a table. I sat opposite from him and now wondered what we would talk about.

I started eating my chicken and fries when Edward spoke.

"So Bella, did you go to Forks High School?" he asked while eating his pizza.

"Yeah I did, but I don't remember seeing you there" I replied remembering that he lived in Forks.

"That's because I didn't go to Forks High School" he answer nonchalantly.

That confused me a bit. "So what High School did you go to?" I asked.

"I went to school in California and I moved here last spring" he told me while he looked at his food.

"Oh" was all I said but I still had so many questions. I wanted to get to know Edward and see what his life is like. So I asked the most obvious question. "I hope you don't mind me asking but why did your family decide to move to Forks which is a small town, from California which is sunny and bright all the time?"

I immediately regretted asking that question because I saw Edwards face twist in pain and agony. I ached to take away whatever pain he was feeling and I felt guilty for asking him.

"You don't have to answer Edward, I'm sorry if my question made you uncomfortable" I tried to fix the situation. Edward just kept on staring at his food.

"It's ok Bella" he said after a while. "My family and I moved here because my mom likes small towns and because we had some family issues back in California" he finished saying.

"Oh, I understand" I told him, but in reality I wanted to know what had happened. Did something bad happen to force his entire family to move to Forks?

Edward tried to lighten the mood up and now directed his questions at me. "So Bella, have you lived your whole life in Forks?" he asked

I was now eating my fruit salad and was almost done with the whole thing. Edward had finished his food and was now sipping on his soda. I wanted so much to get closer to him just to observe those lips. They were perfection… just like him.

"Bella?" Edward called. _Oh crap!_

"Oh sorry! Yeah I've always lived in Forks" I responded, knowing that my stinking face looked like a dang tomato.

And that's how we spent the break. We talked about different things. We talked about our families, we talked about school, about things we liked and just other things in general.

But we never talked about the past. It seemed to make Edward very uncomfortable to talk about it so I refrained from asking questions about his previous life in California.

We also did not talk about relationships. Edward knows that I have a boyfriend who by the way, kept on texting throughout lunch. But I did not know what Edward's status was.

He never mentioned any other females beside his sister Alice and his mom Esme, so either he didn't want to mention a girl or doesn't' have one.

For some reason, I hoped it was the latter one.

We headed back to biology and once again Edward sat next to me in the front row. This time he was a little more focused and so was I.

Though concentrating when you have Adonis sitting next to you is impossible, I tried my best. I kept ignoring that current that would pass through my body every time that Edward's arm would accidently touch me.

The rest of the afternoon continued in the same manner.

Edward sat next to me in lab and talked to me, although we kept on being interrupted by the other hookers in our table. Yet he kept his focus on me and I was flattered.

Every now and then my phone would buzz and it would bring me back to reality and remind me about James, but besides that, the whole day I was on cloud nine.

After English class Edward gave me his address and then we headed out into the parking lot. We were talking normally, almost as if we knew each other for a while now.

When we got to the parking lot and we were about to split to go to our cars, Edward surprised me yet again.

"Let me walk you to your car Bella" he asked.

I didn't know what to say so I just nodded.

We started walking towards my car, and Edward and I were both quiet.

"Hey Bella, I already fixed my phone number, so let me give it to you that way you can call me tomorrow in case you get lost or something" he said

"Oh ok" I responded. I took out my cellphone and gave it to him. We were now in front of my car and Edward was putting his number in my cell phone. He then looked up and smiled at me while he handed me the phone back.

"Here you go you're all set to go" he told me.

"Thank you" I told him and we were now just standing there and I didn't know what to do. Edward was looking a bit uncomfortable too so I decided to speak.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow Edward" I told him.

He looked at me in the eye and I realized that those green eyes were actually his. _Thank God for that! _

He gave me a small smile "Alright Bella, drive safely and I'll see you tomorrow" he answered.

I got in my car and watched as Edward walked towards his shiny BMW.

When I got home I was still in a very good mood and not even James could taint my high spirits.

I cleaned the house and made dinner. Then I worked on homework for biology and Algebra.

Later that night I called James and he was in a good mood because I had told him more than once that I loved him today. _Yeah right…_

I had to tell him that tomorrow I would be going to Edward's house to work on the English project and that got me a little worried but I knew what I would say and I was confident with that plan.

Conversation with James:

_Bella – So how was your day?_

_James – it was good and yours? did you talk to anybody today?_

_Bella – not really, it was a busy day and I had a lot of reading to do. _

_James – hmm, what did you wear?_

_Bella – I wore a black t-shirt and blue jeans, with converse. _

_James- Are you sure?_

_Bella – yes I'm sure. What else did you do today?_

_James – oh nothing much, work was boring and when we went to lunch this girl was flirting with me and trying to give me her number but I told her I had a girlfriend_

_Bella – oh I almost forgot to tell you…_

_James – can you wait? I'm not done talking._

_Bella – yeah sure go ahead_

_James – I got offered this new job but I'm going to be out in Seattle for two weeks and I'll only come home for one weekend in between _

_Bella – oh really?_

_James – yeah I leave tomorrow morning and I won't be back for two weeks so are you going to behave babe?_

_Bella – yes James don't worry I know how to handle myself_

_James – man I won't even see you at church. I'm sad, aren't you sad that you're not going to see me for two weeks? I'm not even sure if I want to take it I don't want to leave you here alone._

_Bella – yeah, but it's not like I'm never going to see you again right? You'll come home every two weeks and I'll see you when you come over._

_James – yeah I guess you're right. But please babe, behave because when I come back I don't want to hear that you were flirting with some guy or whatever ok? Also when you go to college make sure there are no guys looking at you. If you see them staring too much, walk away._

_Bella – yeah I know already you don't have to drill it into my head all over again. Like I said, I know how to handle myself. _

_James – ok, now what were you going to say?_

_Bella – hmmm I can't remember, I forgot already. It was probably nothing important. _

_James – I guess. Well can you do me a favor before we hang up?_

_Bella – what?_

_James – can you tell me a cute story?_

_Bella – James, I'm tired I really want to go to bed_

_James – come on it won't take you that long please?_

_Bella – no I don't want to_

_James – see I hate that about you, not even on the phone you want to help me. All I'm asking for is for a small story._

_Bella – yeah but I'm telling you I'm tired_

_James – ok fine whatever, I see how much you love me. I don't know why you're even with me if you can't even tell me a damn story. _

_Bella – fine James, I'll tell you a story_

_James – thank you babe, you're the best. _

_Well that night didn't go how I expected it_. I was super happy when James told me that he would be out for two weeks. _Those were the best news I've heard in my entire life. _

Not only would I not have to deal with his crap for two weeks but I also wouldn't need to tell him about going to Edward's house. He just would never know.

Then being the pig that he is, James wanted me to tell him a sex story_. I swear this dude is like addicted to sex. _

I did since I was in such a good mood and I just wanted to get rid of him.

After I hung up with him I was lying in bed and I was thinking about how good my day had been.

I had finally gotten to talk to Edward and I could tell that he also felt good for talking to me. We even ate lunch together and it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. Edward and I were getting closer and there was no turning back now.

I took out my phone and texted Alice.

_**I finally get to meet you tomorrow – Bella**_

_**OMG you're coming over? – Alice**_

_**Yeah, working on a project with your brother :-) – Bella**_

_**;-) Well I can't wait for tomorrow!!! – Alice**_

_**Me neither, good night Alice - Bella**_

_**Good night Bella – Alice**_

After that I turned off my light and said my prayers for the night.

I went to sleep peacefully knowing that I wasn't going to worry about anything. Everything would be ok as long as I kept close to Edward… I could feel it deep in my heart. Edward was now a part of me that I couldn't get rid of, and I was fine with that.

**A/N: ok, sorry that my posting schedule has been so crazy but college is killing me… literary! And it doesn't help that I had an accident and now I have to go to therapy… like I have time for that!!! But anyways, I hope you guys are enjoying the story. Please don't forget to comment. Love you all!!! **


	11. Bring Me To Life

**A/N: Ok Jazz is back! I know you probably don't care but I am super happy and I have to share this with you… I passed Bio with a B! Yay me! Also, I'm officially done for the semester and though I will be going to school during the summer I don't think posting will be an issue. I hope… Also guys please don't forget to comment… you have no idea how much your thoughts can influence a writer… Thanks and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer… not me.**

**Chapter song: Bring Me to Life – Evanescence **

**Bring Me To Life**

Wake me up  
(Wake me up inside)  
I can't wake up  
(Wake me up inside)  
Save me  
(Call my name and save me from the dark)  
Wake me up  
(Bid my blood to run)  
I can't wake up  
(Before I come undone)  
Save me  
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

**EPOV**

The next day I was anxious to get to school.

When I went downstairs I found my mom barely making her way into the kitchen to start breakfast. She was still wearing her robe and her house shoes, it made her look huggable.

When she heard me entering the kitchen she gave me a puzzled look. "Did I wake up late or are you up earlier? She asked while starting the coffee machine.

I opened the fridge and took out the bottle of orange juice. "No you didn't wake up late" I said.

She was looking at me with a puzzled face still and honestly it was making me uncomfortable.

"Mom, why are you staring at me like I grew a third eye?" I asked with a little bit of humor in my voice.

Her eyes widened and then she turned around and went back to twiddle with the coffee maker. "What are you talking about? I'm not staring at you weird" she said with a tone that sounded guilty… _what's on your mind mom?_

"Ok" I said and then my dad walked in.

"Good morning everyone" he said, going immediately to hug my mom. They started talking among themselves and I ignored them… I was daydreaming.

I was drinking orange juice and when I finished I put the cup on the sink.

I looked towards my parents and Carlisle was looking at me weird also. _Did I have a booger stuck on my face or something? _

"So Edward…" he started talking. "How's school going so far?" he asked.

"So far so good" I answered shortly. I wanted to get going… _the faster I got to school, the faster I would see her. _

"That's good" my dad answered slowly.

"Ok, well I got to go, I'll see you guys later" I said starting to walk out of the kitchen.

"Wait a minute, you're not going to eat breakfast?" my mom asked. I love how she's always so concerned about me. It makes me feel like a little kid.

"No mom, I have to get going already" I answered. I walked toward her and gave her a kiss on her forehead. "I'll see you later" I said, turning to walk out of the kitchen. "Bye dad" I said as I was walking out.

I bumped into Alice who was walking into the kitchen. She looked hilarious. She had hair rollers all over her head and it made her looked like an old housewife.

When I saw her and we made eye contact I playfully shuddered to make her think she grossed me out. She quickly slapped my shoulder and I just laughed and walked out. "Bye little troll!" I called as I walked out of the house.

When I got to the car my stomach made a funny noise… _I was definitely going to get hungry quick._ I got out and went back to get an apple and a snack bar. When I walked into the kitchen everyone stopped talking and they were all staring at me.

"Ok what the heck? Do I have boogers on my face or something?" I asked, because seriously my family is starting to freak me out.

"It's nothing Edward, you're just being weird, but then again that doesn't surprise me. You've always been a weirdo" Alice answered simply while she was pouring herself some milk in a cup.

I went and grabbed and apple and a snack bar from the box that was in the pantry. Then I started walking out of the kitchen again.

"Alright then… I'll see y'all later" I said, a little mystified.

With that I got back in the car and finally took off.

For some reason I had the feeling that today was going to be a good day. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Bella reached out to me when she needed to feel better.

That made _ME_, feel better.

As I was driving I was wondering if maybe Bella had broken up with her boyfriend and that is why she needed comfort. I also wondered if she loved him. Maybe that was the reason why she needed comfort in the first place. _I hope not._

When I got to school I went to my Intro to Law class. As I sat there I found myself growing anxious to see Bella. She always managed to have me intrigued with her. It's almost as if she has awakened the guy that has been dead for a while now.

When class was finally over I started walking faster towards history class.

I was so anxious to see Bella but at the same time, I was scared.

I shouldn't be getting so attached to this girl who already has a boyfriend. But then again… she called _me_ when she needed comfort. _That right there says a lot. _

Bella needed comfort and instead of going to the obvious person for it, she ran to me. _Or more like she called me but whatever… same difference._ She didn't go to him. She came to _me_.

Maybe Bella was letting go. Maybe she decided that she could get closer to me.

I am not going to sit here and ignore the fact that there is definitely something going on in between us.

Has it been said aloud? No, but it doesn't have to be.

I know that deep within me Bella revived a spark of life that has been dead. Now, it was my turn to do the same for her.

It's time to let go.

I had to repeat that thought in my head a couple of times.

_Let go Edward… It's time. _

When I walked to the hallway in which my history class is, I saw her there sitting on the floor, totally engrossed in whatever she was reading. As I got closer to her, I hoped that she would notice me but she didn't so I stood in front of her.

She looked adorable reading. I wonder what kind of books she likes to read… or if she even likes to read… well she is an English person… so I'm sure she enjoys reading.

She finally noticed that someone was standing in front of her.

She looked up and immediately I saw shock cross her face. I smiled at her and the fact that she was still in shock amused me. I then noticed that she was listening to music when she removed her earphones from her ears and smiled at me.

_I swear that smile takes my breath away. _

"Hey" she said with a sweet and happy voice.

"Hello Bella" I said. I was trying not to sound to overexcited but the fact that she was talking to me made me want to do flips.

I realized that I was still towering over her, and I was hoping she didn't find it uncomfortable. But right when I was about to move, Bella surprised me yet again.

"So what's up?" she asked me. She looked like she was having a good day. She looked relaxed, happy, and carefree. I realized that I had never seen her like this before, so I might as well enjoy this good day.

She was looking at me and she looked so beautiful so I decided to be honest. "Nothing just admiring the view" I told her. I gauged her reaction… and loved it. Her eyes popped open and then she started laughing. The fact that she was laughing made me laugh too. _Oh man I haven't laughed like this in a while. _

I then noticed that she was holding the paper she was reading when I got there in her hands. "What's that?" I asked her, genuinely curious.

She looked down at her hand "Oh this is the notes that will be on the quiz today" she said.

_Huh? What is she talking about?_ I don't remember Black ever mentioning a quiz… or did he?

"What's wrong?" she asked me. Then it sort of came back to me. Black did mention something about a quiz but I was too busy focusing on Bella to even remember or write it down. _Ok… there goes my grade._

"We have a quiz today?" I asked just to make sure.

Bella was still staring at me and I felt like a moron being so clueless about a damn quiz.

Then I saw a brightness in her eyes that was almost mischievous. "Yeah but it's a small quiz" she replied.

"Do you want to use my notes to study? We still have like 10 minutes before class?" she asked me.

_Whoa! This girl's contagious smile is driving me crazy_. She extended her hand to me with the paper that she was reading. I finally snapped out of my trance and was about to take the paper but then a better idea crossed my mind.

Instead of taking the paper from her hand, I sat next to Bella. I looked at her and grinned, hoping that this didn't bother her.

"That's ok, I'll share with you. You have to study too, I wouldn't want you to do badly on the quiz" I said to her.

Bella didn't say anything. She just looked at me and then moved the paper in front of us and got back to reading.

It's funny because I wasn't really studying. _How could I?_ I was so entertained by the fact that Bella was fucking sitting right next to me.

I could smell her hair… it smelled like strawberries, and wild flowers. I could also feel her body heat and holy cow… _it's making me hot._

And when our arms accidently touched I could feel shocks of electricity on my skin. But they weren't painful at all… instead… I was now craving those shocks. It was an amazing experience.

I then took it one step further and asked her to quiz me. Of course being the nice girl that she is, she agreed. Little did she know that that was my excuse to hear her beautiful, sweet, and caring voice.

We were quizzing each other and it sort of turned into a little competition. It didn't come as a surprise that Bella was super smart and really good at history.

_She's perfect. _

As we kept on quizzing each other we were smiling and laughing and proving that each of us knew the material.

I was amazed at how confident Bella could be. I had never seen this side of her. She was always so shy and quiet, but now she was all smiles and confidence. She could definitely hurt somebody's ego with so much confidence parading around.

When Black got there we started heading into the classroom. But this time I did something different.

I sat next to Bella.

She looked at me and I just smiled and shrugged my shoulder. I told her that my contacts had broken and for some reason I saw disappointment wash over her face. _How weird…_

Bella then went back to looking at the front and I was left a little confused but decided to shrug it off.

After that, we took the quiz and Black started the lecture.

I was trying my hardest to focus but it was impossible. Bella sitting next to me is impossible to ignore. I could literary feel the electricity passing between us and that only aided to my distraction.

Bella on the other hand looked like she was so focused and on track. It made her look… dare I say… sexy? _Yeah, definitely. _

Bella had this innocent look but at times it was her innocence that made her look amazing. Also the confidence that she was displaying today… _yeah, don't even get me started on how sexy that is. _

I then decided to mess with her and started drawing on her paper but she then did the same and called me a loser.

I knew she was playing but I still pouted and asked her why she was calling me a loser.

She said it was because she said so and that made my heart soar. _Don't ask why? I have definitely turned into a fucking girl looking for signs of flirting. Yup that's life for you!_

When I told her that it wasn't fair that she was calling me a loser she told me that life was not fair and I immediately told myself that she was right.

Life was never fair.

I had this beautiful girl sitting next to me and yet she was so far away because she was taken.

What' worse, I realized that she was dating a guy who not only was a jerk but didn't care much for her. Obviously Bella was a different girl when she wasn't with him.

I remembered the time when I saw her at the movies and she looked so serious when she was walking with that asshole. She looked sad and oh so broken.

Yeah… life is definitely not fair.

After class ended, Bella started putting her things away and I did the same. A new thought came to my mind. But I was scared to follow through… _come on Edward… man up!_

I decided to start by asking her the obvious even though I already knew the answer to it.

"So what class do you have next?" I asked.

"Oh, I have a break right now until 11: 30 and then I have Biology" She told me confidently once again standing in front on me, looking at me straight in the eye.

I decided to play stupid.

"Oh really? Me too! Well duh, we have biology together". I said. _She probably does think that I'm stupid. _

"Yeah, I noticed" was all she said with an amused face. I wonder what's going through her mind.

I decided that I needed to focus… I was getting nervous and scared that she would reject me.

_Suck it up Cullen_! I kept on telling myself over and over again.

With that I took a deep breath and asked her "Hey do you want to go eat somewhere?" I said.

I immediately saw surprise run across Bella's face. She so didn't see this one coming. _Well good for me. _

She looked at me and then at her hands and then back at me.

"Oh… hmm… wh… what?" she stuttered. _How cute!_

"I said do you want to go eat somewhere since we have the same break and the same class together after this, I thought that maybe you would want to go eat somewhere, unless you're not hungry, in that case it's ok, I don't want to force you" _oh I am so rambling now!_

"It's ok Edward, I don't mind, but how about we just eat here at the school cafeteria?" she answered shyly.

_Oh fuck yeah…_ "Ok let's go" I said.

When we got to the cafeteria we grabbed our food and I paid for her and me. She put up a fight but I won. Maybe she wasn't used to it… but she was going to have to get used to it.

_Wow… Slow down a little Cullen!_

We walked to a table nearby and sat opposite of each other. We were silent for a couple of minutes but then I decided to voice my curiosity for this amazing girl.

I asked her about high school and her life in general. She answered my questions but asked hers in return.

She asked how come she hadn't seen me in high school if we lived in the same town. I told her that I had recently moved to Forks.

Everything was going fine until she asked me why we had moved to Forks. All the memories of that terrible night came back rushing to me. And with all the memories, came all the pain.

I could see that Bella was regretting asking me the question because she immediately turned into that shy, unconfident girl.

"You don't have to answer Edward, I'm sorry if my question made you uncomfortable" she said with an apologetic voice.

I just kept on staring at my food.

I was trying to rein in all of my thoughts. I tried to block all the pain or at least put it away until later.

After a while I got myself together. "It's ok Bella" I told her.

"My family and I moved here because my mom likes small towns and because we had some family issues back in California" I told her with a voice that rang with finality.

I didn't want to talk about that with her. It just hurt too much.

She told me she understood and then we moved on to lighter topics.

At times while we were sitting there talking, I would notice that Bella was staring at my lips. _Hmm interesting… _

And then I decided to mess with her a little… when I noticed she was distracted I would ask her a question with a low voice and then I would catch her daydreaming.

She would quickly snap out of it and it was freaking hilarious to watch her blush. _She is so adorable!_

During the whole break we learned about each other. We talked about our families and stuff like that, but we never talked about my past or about relationships.

Those topics that I felt were the most relevant, we ignored.

We then walked together to Biology class.

I cannot begin to describe how amazing it feels walking next to this beautiful girl. Not just because she is beautiful but because in there, lies a beauty that I'm sure not many have seen before.

Bella possesses qualities that not many can pull off. And that is why walking next to her feels amazing.

When we got inside the classroom I sat next to her again and tried my best to focus. I had the feeling I was going to have to study double at home in order to make up for all that I didn't catch here at school.

And that is how the rest of the day played off. We sat next to each other in all the classes. We talked almost as easily as if we had known each other our whole lives. It wasn't awkward or complicated… it just happened.

For the very first time in a long time… I felt normal.

There was no numbness, no pain, and no guilt. _Especially no damn guilt. _

It seems as if Bella brought back in me that person who I thought I had lost that horrible night. She revived the old Edward.

After English class I gave Bella my address and then we started walking towards the parking lot. We were so engrossed in conversation that I hadn't noticed we were at the parking lot and we had to go our separate ways. But I wasn't ready to part from her yet.

"Let me walk you to your car Bella" I told her.

Bella looked at me and nodded. A small blush appearing on her face, as usual.

As we were walking toward her car, we were both suddenly out of things to say. We were just quiet. It was almost eerie. So I decided to speak first.

"Hey Bella, I already fixed my phone number. So let me give it to you that way you can call me tomorrow in case you get lost or something" I said to her.

"Oh ok" she responded. She took out her cellphone and handed it to me. I was almost scared that I would see a picture of her and her boyfriend in the background, but instead she had a quote.

I read it quickly not wanting to look like I was invading her privacy.

"And the scars remind us that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to fail"

I quickly recognized the quote as the words in one of my favorite songs. Scars by Papa Roach. I would definitely ask her about that some other time.

I quickly put in my number in Bella's cellphone and handed it back to her.

We were now just standing there, face to face, just looking at each other. I wanted to be closer to her, but I knew it was wrong. Yet it felt so right. I craved Bella's company but not just because she brought the old me back, but because she made me happy. And not to mention that those lips will be the death of me.

She then decided to break the silence.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow Edward" she told me

I looked at her straight in the eye with the hope that I might convey just how much I wanted to be closer to her, and how much I was hoping on tomorrow.

"Alright Bella, drive safely and I'll see you tomorrow" I answered.

With that I turned around and started walking towards my car without looking back.

When I got back in the car and started driving home I thought about how today had been the perfect day…

I talked to Bella and I got to know her better. It turns out that she was even more beautiful once she lets you in. Bella doesn't just possess physical beauty… she has the whole package.

When I got home Alice was already there and as I passed her I thought how she might start getting curious and asking me about my day. I didn't think I was ready for that but surprisingly she just said "Hey Edward" when she saw me, and that was it. _Well… she is weird…._

Later at dinner I decided that I had to tell mom and dad that Bella would be coming over tomorrow. _Yeah hopefully mom doesn't have a heart attack. _

She always wanted me to move on and talk to other girls. Hopefully she doesn't make a big deal out of this.

I was nervous to let them know that Bella would be here tomorrow. She might not know it, but Bella was already special to me and I didn't want to mess this up.

I cleared my throat and spoke up. "Mom… hmm a friend of mine from college is coming over tomorrow to work on a project" I told them.

Everyone in the table was looking at me. "That's ok sweetheart" my mom said.

"I'll come home early from work tomorrow that way I can make y'all kids some snacks" my mom continued as she was cutting her steak.

"Ok" I said, trying to avoid telling them it was girl who would be here tomorrow… Alice on the other hand, had other plans.

"Oh what's his name Edward?" she asked… damn troll! Like she didn't know who that hell it was.

"It's a girl and her name is Isabella" I answered and looked down at my food.

I immediately felt three sets of eyes staring at me and I could practically feel my mom and dad burning a hole on my face with theirs.

"Oh really? That's cool!" Alice said. _I swear I'm going to burn her purses… better yet… her shoes! That'll set her straight._

I'm sure Alice knew I was choking her to death with my eyes but she clearly didn't care. She looked at me and smiled.

"So who is she Edward? My mom asked… _oh God, here we go. _

"Remember the project I told you I was doing for English mom?" I asked her, my dad was still looking at me, while he chewed his food.

"Of course I remember honey" she said with her loving voice.

"Well, we have to work in partners, and Bella is my partner" I said hoping that they would all drop it.

My father finally spoke up. "I thought you said her name was Isabella" my father stated…. _Gee thanks everyone_… Shit you would think I've never brought a damn girl home!

"Yes it is, but she prefers Bella, she's the chief's daughter, she lives here in Forks" I told my parents.

I literary saw their jaws drop… _oh well might as well spill!_

"Oh… Bella Swan" my dad said serenely. This surprised me….

"Do you know her?" I asked my dad.

He chuckled and looked down at his food, cut a piece of steak, and started chewing. Then he cleared his throat and looked at me. _Come on done… spill._

"Yeah I know her… she's very… prone to accidents, so she visits the hospital often" my dad said with a coy voice.

We all started laughing, and I am sure that Bella was a klutz. I had seen her more than once trip on her own feet.

"Well honey I can't wait to meet her" my mom said.

I could tell that she was happy, and so was Alice, she was almost bouncing on her seat. My dad just had a small smile on his face.

I could tell that tomorrow would change everything.

That night I went to sleep peacefully and content. I replayed the events that took place throughout my day, and the more I thought about them, the more I was determined to be close to Bella.

She had such an effect without even knowing it and for that I was grateful. Bella had brought me back to life and I was finally feeling alive.

**A/N: Ok so they are definitely getting closer to each other… but they're ignoring James… what did you guys think? ****Don't forget to comment!**

**Oh by the way… what do you guys think about the bands that will be on the Eclipse soundtrack? I personally don't know many of the bands but I'm just hoping that the songs will fit in with the movie. **

**Also… I am recommending **_**"Innocence Lost"**_** by ****Cullen818.**** If you're into a dark Edward and caring Jasper… you'll love this one. **


	12. Making Memories

**A/N: Ok here comes another happy chapter… Enjoy! Please don't forget to comment your thoughts, ideas, or whatever it is you want to tell me. Thanks. **

**Disclaimer**: Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight character… I just wished I did.

**Chapter** **Song**: You Want to Make a Memory – Bon Jovi

**Making Memories**

You want to make a memory?

You want to steal a piece of time?

You can sing a melody to me

And I could write a couple of lines

You want to make a memory?

BPOV:

Wednesday morning when I woke up I was once again in a good mood. I got out of bed and looked at my phone. I had a text message from James.

_**You better behave while I'm gone – James**_

_Ugh what an asshole._ But whatever, I was in a good mood and not even him was going to mess that up for me.

As I washed my face and brushed my teeth before going downstairs I started thinking about today. I was going to Edward's house today. _Holy shit!_

Immediately nerves overtook me but not in a bad way. More like _damn Bella get everything you need to do over with so you can get ready!_

When I got downstairs I hooked up my laptop with my stereo system at home and put happy music on. I made myself breakfast and ate while I was humming to the songs on my playlist.

When I finished I looked at the fridge and read the note from mom.

_Bella –_

_Make sure you do your chores before you leave today. And you better go dressed appropriately to go see this Alice girl, Charlie told me the Cullen's also have a boy… BEHAVE! Call Charlie before you leave. _

_Mom_

At the bottom of the paper there was a list of chores that needed to be done… as I re-read the note I wondered what my parents would think if they knew that I was actually going to go see Edward more than Alice.

My parents have always been strict about boys_. It was a miracle they let me date James._ I always have to dressed 'modestly' if there will be other man where I'm going. Also I have to behave like a lady. I can't go out in a group where there are guys my age if an adult is not going with us… _Heavens knows I might end up pregnant!_

I started doing my chores as quick as possible. I cleaned my room first, and then I went and cleaned my parent's room. After that I started the dirty laundry and while the machine worked I cleaned the kitchen. That took a while, but when I was done I was also almost done with the laundry.

I also cleaned the restroom and left it spotless like I always do. When I was done with all of that, I finally passed the vacuum throughout the entire house.

As I was cleaning, I didn't even feel the strain and how tired I was getting from all the moving around and cleaning. I was focused on the music that was giving me so much energy. I also remained focused on the main goal… _Edward_.

When I finished everything I had to do inside… I went outside to our little deck. I watered Renee's plants that looked almost dead. Then I swept the deck and then finally went back inside.

By the time I was done with everything I am one hundred percent I must have been a vision.

I looked in the mirror in my room and my hair was all over the place like a chicken's nest. I was sweaty and my cheeks were red from the heat. My clothes were all raggedy and dirty.

I went into the shower and took a long and meticulous shower. I also shaved because I hadn't done it at all these past two weeks… _Nobody likes a hairy girl! _

When I was done with that I dressed in a pair of shorts and a spaghetti strap. _I still didn't know what I would wear_. I blow-dried my hair, and did my toenails.

In the back of my mind I was asking myself '_why are you getting all fixed up just to go see Edward?_' but I would just tell myself that this was a special day, therefore it needed to be received with special treatments.

When I finished doing my toenails I went downstairs to tackle the last chore on my list.

I opened the fridge and took out the ingredients I needed. I took out the marinara sauce, the mozzarella cheese, and the chicken. Then I went to the pantry and took out the spices I needed. I quickly started working on lunch/dinner. I decided to make chicken parmigiana.

While I was cooking I received another text from James

_**What r u doing? – James**_

_**Cooking - Bella**_

_**Have you talked to anybody? – James**_

_**Who am I going to talk to? – Bella**_

_**Just asking… U going out 2day? – James**_

_**No – Bella**_

_**K, Luv u – James**_

_**Me 2 – Bella**_

I cannot even explain how happy I am that James is not around. Ever since he left I have been in an extremely good mood… and knowing that he won't be here until the next weekend makes me even more excited.

When I was done cooking I sat down and ate. I still had my music going and I was just humming to the music. The whole time I was also thinking of what it would be like to be in Edward's house.

I was going over there at a time I knew that Alice would be there. I didn't want to be all alone with Edward in his house. I didn't know if his parents would be there or not and I wasn't planning on risking it.

After I washed the dishes I went upstairs… I washed my faced and brushed my teeth. After that I started the task I knew would take the longest. I needed to find something to wear.

I wanted to dress nicely but not formal. I also wanted to be comfortable but not underdressed either. I still was trying to figure out why but I didn't let those thoughts bug me much… whenever they resurfaced I just pushed them to the back of my mind again_. I win!_

I finally settled for an android-green shirt that has sleeves that go down to the elbows. I also decided to wear a pair of skinny jeans and my black sandals.

Before I got dressed I tried to do something with my hair, but at the end I decided to just leave it down. _My hair is so frustrating sometimes!_

I finally got dressed and took a look in the mirror… something is missing… _DUH!_ Make-up! I went and applied the only make up I absolutely loved… eyeliner. I applied the ebony black eyeliner and I also applied some chap stick.

By the time I was done, I heard Renee coming in downstairs. That means school was over already and that it was safe to go to Edward's house. I grabbed my bag and went downstairs.

"You look nice" Renee said looking me over. I was waiting for her to say something about my clothes like she always did…

"That shirt is a little too tight though" she said.

_Yup… there she goes_! "Mom this is not tight at all. You're just over reacting. " I said to her with an annoyed tone.

"Yeah well there's a boy in that house, you shouldn't be dressing like that. You don't know what that boy is like, what if he's a pervert or something along those lines?" I was getting angry and I wished I could tell her that Edward was not a pervert… he didn't even look at me like that. _I only dreamed he would. _

"Look mom I have to go already ok? I don't want to argue with you over what I should or shouldn't be wearing, so please let's just drop it." I told her as I walked up to her and gave her a kiss.

"I won't have to call dad now since you got here before I left. I'll see you later ok?" I said as I was walking out the door.

"Ok, be careful" was the last thing I heard from her.

When I got in my car I immediately turned the radio on and put on my favorite cd. My mom was still standing by the door watching me drive off. When I could no longer see her, I turned the music up and felt relieved that I didn't have to fight her out the door.

But then a new wave of nervousness came over me. I was going to Edward Cullen's house! _Shit!_ I was extremely nervous to say the least. But when I tried to figure out why I was nervous, I couldn't come up with a reason.

I kept on telling myself that all I was going to be doing was homework. _That's all Bella. You're not going to go meet your boyfriend's parents or nothing like that… it's just homework. _

The drive wasn't very long and I arrived at a house that was more like a mansion. I should've known that Edward Cullen would live in this house. I had seen it before but I never stopped to think about who lived in it.

The house looked amazing… it was sort of hiding in the woods but that just added to its beauty. The house had huge windows and practically little walls. You could see inside but not much.

As I was still admiring the house I got off the car and grabbed my backpack. I started walking towards the door. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster and I was about to walk back to my car for air. I rang the doorbell and waited for about fifteen seconds before I heard someone unlocking the door. _I still have time to run don't I? _

The moment I looked to see who was at the door I was attacked.

"Bella you're here!" _what the heck?_ A tiny girl with a thin voice was hugging me… I had no option but to hug her back.

"hmm yeah I'm here?" I sort of asked… I knew that my cheeks were flushed. _This was so embarrassing… _

A couple of seconds later the girl took a step back and when I saw her I was totally confused. _What kind of sick joke is this?_

When I looked at her she was smiling at me… _Edward's freaking girlfriend was smiling at me! _

She was just as beautiful as I had seen her the first time I saw her with Edward. She had short hair and had flawless skin. She was dressed in skinny jeans with a beautiful shirt that I'm sure was very expensive. She complimented the clothes with a pair of flats and coordinating jewelry. She was beautiful through and through_. Go figure. _

She was looking at me with a huge smile in her face and then her face went appalled.

"Oh my god I'm so rude, come on in Bella I'll call Edward… he's upstairs in his room" she said as she moved aside and led me in. I looked around and wasn't surprised at all that the house was amazing on the inside too.

The house was all decorated to perfection. Matching walls were painted in colors that coordinated the sofas, the curtains, and all the other decorations. I could look outside through the glass walls and it was all beautiful.

"Edward!" the girl screamed, startling me and I'm sure I looked like a puppy scared to death.

Then I heard some commotion upstairs and then Edward appeared shouting back at the girl. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Edward was wearing a pair or blue plaid cargo shorts with a navy blue t-shirt that was fitted to his chest. _He looked so good_… I'm not even going to deny that I was ogling him even with his girl there. But the final touch that had me drooling was the fact that Edward was wearing glasses.

_Holy shit he looks hot_! He was wearing black, thick framed, squared glasses that immediately had me conjuring all kind of fantasies in my head. _Get your head out of the gutter Swan! _

I don't think he had noticed that I was there as he was walking down the stairs. "I've told you not to yell at me, I'm busy now what do you want?" he said with an annoyed voice.

I was surprised that the pretty girl was still smiling after he was yelling at her… she just cleared her throat and Edward, who was still walking down the stairs looked at us, and he stopped.

He looked at the girl and his eyebrows furrowed, the he looked at me. And then… his mouth went into the shape of an 'O'.

I heard the girl whisper "I thought so" and I looked at her. She had a devious smile on her face and looked like she wanted to jump around and say I told you so and stick her tongue out at Edward. It was kind of entertaining.

"Is that any way to behave in front of guests Edward?" she asked with an amused voice.

Edward was still frozen in the middle of the stairs holding on to the rails of them. He was looking at me and now and I could feel the heat rushing to my face once again… _Damn cheeks!_

"I'm sorry, hello Bella" Edward said. And I think I was still ogling him and his geeky glasses.

"Hello, I hope I didn't interrupt anything" I said in a low voice.

He looked at me like I was crazy and waved his hand dismissively "Oh no I was just hanging out in my room" he said as he started walking down the stairs again.

He came to stand in front of me and he looked even better up close… how can such beauty and damn sexiness exists all in one boy? _This is a miracle from God!_

"I'm guessing you already met this troll" he said looking at the girl. Why he called her that I don't understand. I hated trolls; they are ugly and scary and have messy hair. This girl was super pretty though… _so I was confused. _

"I'm not a troll" she said rolling her eyes. Then she looked at me and gave me her hand to shake with a big smile on her face.

"I'm Alice, Edward's sister; it's nice to finally meet you Bella" she said.

I'm pretty sure my face was all wrinkled up with confusion. _Did she just say that she's Edward's sister? What the heck?_

"Hmm you're Alice?" I asked with a confused voice.

Both Edward and Alice were looking at me and she just nodded.

"Why, who did you think I was?" she asked looking mystified.

"No, nobody" I lied quickly.

Then an awkward silence fell in the room and I didn't want to look at anyone, so I looked down.

I heard Edward sigh and then I spoke up "your house is really beautiful" I said.

They both muttered thank you and then Edward spoke up again. "Do you want me to take you on a tour?" he said looking everywhere else but at me. He almost looked shy.

"Sure but only if you really want to" I said. I really didn't want him to do something he didn't really want to do it.

"Sure it won't be a problem" he said.

"Ok I'll leave you guys to it. Edward you better take her upstairs, I want her to see my room but remember you're not allowed in there so I'll give her that tour myself!" Alice said.

Now that I knew who she was I wanted to laugh. She was so adorable and had tons of energy. For some reason the image of the energizer bunny came to my mind. _Yup… that's Alice right there!_

"Fine" Edward muttered and then he led me out of the entrance.

Edward showed me his entire house and it was mind-blowing. There were few adjectives to describe just how beautiful it all was.

When we got to the kitchen we found Edward's mother there. And it didn't surprise me at all that she was also beautiful. _This family carries good genes!_

Esme was such a good hosts. She let me know that she was making food for us and when I told her it wasn't necessary she wasn't having any of it. She told me she would force the food down my throat if I didn't eat willingly… after that… I kept my mouth shut.

When we were done Edward said we were going upstairs to see Alice's room and then to do our work in his room. I stopped right there.

We were still in the kitchen so I looked at Edward and then at Esme. "Hmm Edward I can't go into your room" I told him.

He looked at me confused and I think I saw a flash of hurt go through his eyes. "What do you mean?" he asked me.

"That would be so disrespectful of me. I can't just go into your room. We can do our work somewhere else… but not in your room" I told him. There was no way in hell I was going to lock myself in Edward's room alone knowing that his mother was downstairs_. Even if that was what I really wanted. _

Esme then looked at me "Bella sweetheart, I don't mind. I know that you guys are working on a project and I trust Edward to behave like a gentleman when he's up there with you… but if he tries any funny business just yell and I'll be there with a frying pan" she joked and then winked at me.

I looked at Edward and I swear he was blushing just like I was, except that his cheeks weren't as much traitors as mine.

"If you say its ok then I guess we can work in his room" I said to Esme who just smiled at me.

After that we left the kitchen and went upstairs. Edward knocked on Alice's door and she immediately sent Edward off and pulled me inside of her room. Edward asked for my backpack and told me he would take it. I gave it to him and he just smiled at me.

Her room could be a house by itself. It was huge and it was also decorated amazingly. When she showed me her closet, which by the way was almost as big as my room, I almost passed out. There was a time when I would've been so jealous of all of Alice's clothes…but not anymore.

She had tons and tons of clothing in her closet. It was beautiful. When we were done with the tour she walked me to Edward's room. She didn't even knock; she just walked in and pulled me along with her.

"Honey I'm home" Alice said. Edward was sitting in his desk looking at something on his laptop but when we walked in, he immediately closed the computer.

Edward's room was also huge. It was almost like an apartment inside a home.

He had an entire entertainment system in his room. He also had an entire wall that was glass and outside of it was a deck that looked like the ones in an Ikea catalog. I looked the other way and his bed was huge. The walls were painted in a soft but manly blue… it was perfect.

But what really called my attention was a beautiful black shiny piano in one of the sided of the room.

I decided to voice my curiosity "You play the piano?" I asked.

"Yeah… but I haven't played in a while" he said and I could almost hear sadness in his voice.

"Well I'm out" Alice said and started walking out then she turned around and looked at Edward. "Have fun you two" she said and then she winked at Edward.

Edward just looked at her and shook his head.

When Alice had left Edward started talking "Bella I am so sorry… my family is soooo embarrassing" he said with his head in his hands. It was amusing that he was embarrassed by his family.

"It's ok Edward" I said smiling at him...

After that we got to work. Once I was alone with him, I found that I was not as nervous as I was when his family was present. As a matter of fact it was very comfortable.

We were lying in the carpet floor and just working on our project.

Our next short story to be analyzed was "Eveline" by James Joyce. The story was very dark and sad. It's about a girl who is trying to decide whether to run away with her lover or to stay behind to keep a promise she made to her mother when she was at her deathbed.

Yet, even though our story was one of serious nature, we were having fun. I never knew I could laugh so much. Edward was perfect. He was a gentleman but he also knew how to make fun of you. It was fun discovering this whole new Edward that I had never seen. It was also good to know that all this moments would be in my memory_. I was going to be in a good mood for a while after this!_

After we were done with our work and our research, we were just talking about random things. A little later, Esme knocked on our door and asked if we wanted to eat downstairs or we wanted to eat out in the deck.

Edward being the perfect gentleman allowed me to choose. I wanted very much to sit out in the deck with Edward but I also wanted to get to know Esme and Alice. They were lovely and I felt so loved by them although I had barely met them. So I chose to go downstairs and eat.

When I got downstairs I met Edward's dad… well more like I reintroduced myself to Dr. Cullen. _That was soooo embarrassing_. I could see Alice and Edward trying not to laugh when I explained that I already knew Dr. Cullen from my frequent visits to the hospital.

All in all though, Carlisle (He insisted that I call him by his first name) was very sweet about it and tried to lessen my embarrassment by saying that accidents happen to everybody. _Yeah if only that were really true!_

We were all sitting down on the table and were eating Steak Toscano which by the way was amazing… I needed to ask Esme for the recipe.

I learned so much about the Cullens just by being there. I learned that Esme was an interior designer, which would explain why her house was drool-worthy. I also learned that when Alice was younger, she had taken ballet lessons and was really good at it. I learned that Carlisle and Esme had met in college and that Carlisle had to do a lot of begging and kissing butt in order to go on a date with Esme… _They are so cute!_

I was about to start hearing Edward's baby stories, which were the ones I was most curious about, when my phone rang.

I took it out of the back pocket of my jeans and saw who it was:

_**James.**_

I immediately panicked because I couldn't just answer the phone here.

"Hmm may I be excused? I need to take this phone call" I said, looking at Carlisle and Esme.

"Of course dear" Esme said with a big heart-warming smile.

I quickly got up and walked towards the living room.

"Hello" I said when I picked up the phone.

What James said next made time freeze for me. I heard what he had said but I didn't know how to react.

I thought about all the memories I had made today; all the good things that had happened, all the laughs, and recall I had done. This beautiful day I had spent with the Cullen's, and specially with Edward, was ruined and tainted by the new memory that was about to be made.

"_So I'm parked outside of your house and Renee just told me you're at a friend's house… now tell me this…"_ he said with a very calm but deadly voice

"_Where the hell are you and who the fuck are you with?"_

**A/N: Yup that's my first cliffy… sorry! So what do you guys think will happen now?... don't forget to comment!**

***I want to thank Cullen818 for helping me make this story better! I owe you one honey! Remember to check out her story… I recommended it last week it's called Innocence Lost and it's an awesome story!**

***Also I want to recommend High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType. This is a story about a confident Bella and a troubled Edward, and let me tell you…. It is SOOOO worth reading… it has given ME anxiety! Lol. **


	13. I'm Here For You

**A/N: well enjoy this chapter. I wish I knew what you guys really think… let me know by pressing the comment button at the bottom. Thanks. **

**Disclaimer**: Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight character… I just enjoy using their names.

**Chapter** **Song**: Keep Holding on – Avril Lavigne

**Keep Holding On**

You're not alone  
Together we stand  
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand  
When it gets cold  
And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go  
You know I won't give in  
No I won't give in

Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

**EPOV**

_Ok, what the hell just happened? _

I was enjoying a good day with Bella and with my family. I can't recall a day in the past year where I have laughed as much as I did today without faking it. Bella just brings the best out of me.

When I woke up I immediately was attacked by nerves. I was home alone but I knew mom would come early to cook something. I hoped Bella wouldn't be scared of meeting my mom.

Alice is a whole different story though. _That pixie can scare with anybody with all her bottled up energy._ I needed to remind her not to unleash it on poor Bella.

As the day progressed and my mom got home, my nerves were getting worse. I was considering just calling Bella and cancelling our homework session.

I hadn't really brought a girl home in a very long time and well, I guess being nervous was normal, but the fact that it was Bella and not just some girl coming to my house, made me extra nervous.

After I fixed my room and left it spotless as it usually is, I started cleaning the rest of the house. Not that it needed much cleaning but you know, _just to make sure!_

Later I started reading ahead on our assigned story. This time the story was very dark. It was about a girl who decides to run away from home due to the pressure she feels. But she is also debating the idea because she made a promise to her late mother. All in all a very interesting story.

When my mom got home she must have noticed how nervous I was because when she saw me opening the fridge and pulling out a gallon of orange juice and drinking cup after cup, she took the gallon from me.

"Edward sweetheart you're going to get sick if you drink too much orange juice" she said.

"I won't get sick mom, I'm just thirsty" I replied to her, knowing that thirst wasn't really the problem. I just needed to do something to distract myself.

"Honey, can you tell me a little bit about this girl please?" my mom said with a lovely but curious tone.

"Her name is Bella mom, well more like Isabella but she likes to be called Bella. She's the daughter of the chief of Police here in Forks, she's very quiet and shy, and she doesn't talk much to anybody at school and she's beautiful" I said. I immediately started thinking about Bella's beauty and how she didn't need to overdress to make her look the way she did. A simple t-shirt made her look amazing most of the times.

When I snapped out of it my mom had a knowing smile plastered in her face and she was just looking at me. I noticed I had started daydreaming and was embarrassed that she had noticed that. "And she drives a cool car too. She drives a Volvo" I told my mom trying to fix it. She just nodded, kept on smiling and went back to getting ready to cook.

After that, I decided to stay in my room. I didn't want mom or Alice for that matter, to be giving me their weird looks. _I get enough of those on an everyday basis already!_

When I heard Alice screaming my name from downstairs, I was just sitting in my desk and I was just looking for something to do otherwise the nerves were going to kill me.

When I went downstairs yelling at Alice for screaming I hadn't noticed that Bella was there already. _And holy shit I almost had a heart attack when I saw her! _

She looked amazing in that green shirt and those skinny jeans that adjusted to her figure. I had once seen her dressed like this, but for school she only dressed in t-shirts. Bella had a beautiful body and I wondered why she covered it up for school.

I was a little embarrassed because Alice decided to make a show and get all energizer bunnies on poor Bella. _She looked terrified_! But when I introduced her to Alice she also looked confused. _I wonder why?_

After that I took her on a tour of my home. Normally I didn't like showing my house because I felt like I was showing off the money we have but I guess I was trying to impress Bella. _Why are you trying to impress Bella Eddie?_

When Bella talked to my mom I saw a brief change in Bella. She was really comfortable talking to my mom. She almost looked happy. Also my mother was likewise glowing. I guess that's because she saw through me. She probably noticed how hard I was trying to make an impression with Bella and I guess that made her happy_. Her broken son was finally being glued back together._

After that we went upstairs and I left her with Alice who I'm guessing gave her the grand tour through her mini-mall of a closet. _That girl has an addiction for shopping!_

I went to my room and straightened my bed. I made sure the room was still clean, not that it would be messy since no one else was here. _Edward stop freaking out for fuck sakes!_

I then went to my computer and tried to busy myself. I was checking my e-mail since I was wondering what to do for my community service activities. I had emailed a couple of different places and was starting to get answers.

Suddenly Alice busted into my room yelling… _yet again!_ "Honey I'm home" I immediately closed my laptop when I saw Bella coming in behind her.

She started looking around in my room and I hoped that she liked what she saw. My room was big and it had lots of technology. _What can I say? I enjoy my music and might as well have a good sound system around._

Bella then focused on my black piano: One of the only things from my previous life that I kept and still treasured.

"You play the piano?" she asked.

"Yeah… but I haven't played in a while" I answered back, thinking about my life in California.

"Well I'm out" Alice said after a moment of silence and started walking out. She then turned around and looked at me but I'm sure that Bella also noticed. "Have fun you two" she said and then she winked as she was closing the door.

_Seriously this is so embarrassing! _

At a loss for words, I decided to be honest "Bella I am so sorry… my family is soooo embarrassing" I told her. I looked at her then and saw a little smile on her face.

"It's ok Edward" she said to me with an even bigger smile in her face.

After that embarrassing episode, we started doing our work. Working with her this time was so different than the last though. Instead of being nervous and paranoid, Bella seemed to be calmed and confident. I also felt different. I was more relaxed… maybe it was because I was in my own house.

I was amazed at how beautiful Bella seemed lying there in the carpet floor of my room. She seemed to belong there. She was just as a permanent fixture as my own bed was. _Not that I'm comparing her to a bed though… _

We analyzed our assigned reading and did all the necessary research for it. Since the story was sort of dark, we didn't talk much about anything else. We remained focused and that only led to us finishing our assignment sooner than we thought we would.

We still did laugh though. Bella was a funny person and she made me smile even without trying. There's just something about her that makes you want to be happy, causing _her_ to be happy as well.

After we finished with all our work we started talking about other things. The chatter wasn't forced or anything like that. We were having tons of fun. I hadn't noticed that someone was knocking until my mom came in asking us if we wanted to eat in my room or downstairs.

I allowed her to choose since I didn't mind where we ate as long as she was there… _Yeah I know… I'm so whipped. _

Bella chose to eat with the whole family so we started heading downstairs.

When we got downstairs for dinner, my dad was already there. I knew this was going to be fun, given my dad's reaction to Bella last night when I told him about her.

As Bella was telling us about her numerous visits to the hospital, my dad was being a gentleman by telling Bella that accidents happen to everyone and it was not something to be embarrassed about. It only made the whole situation even funnier. Bella's blush was impossibly more obvious.

After we were done embarrassing poor Bella, we settled down to eat dinner. My mom made Steak Toscana and it was amazing. _My mom was definitely in a shining mood today. _

As dinner went on, the stories started. Mom and Dad told Bella about how their relationship had blossomed. They talked about their careers, which were their most loved thing after Alice and me. They also talked about Alice's younger years as a ballerina… _seriously the pixie looked like she was dancing when she was just walking!_

My parents embarrassed poor Alice but in their defense they also embarrassed themselves. I can't believe Dad admitted to begging for a date with Mom… _Loser!_

I can't explain how happy I was feeling. I was definitely on an excitement high the whole day. Bella looked so happy and I could see the great effect she was having not just on me but in my family. My mom and dad were laughing so hard that they were complaining of their tummies aching. My baby sister was bouncing in her seat. _If that doesn't say happy I don't know what will!_

Then I heard my mom say "and Edward…" and then she laughed. _Oh god, please don't mom!_ My mom was going to start talking about me and most likely was going to embarrass me too! Just as I was about to stop her Bella spoke up.

"Hmm may I be excused? I need to take this phone call" she said while looking at my mom and dad. I immediately noticed a change in her demeanor. _That's not a good thing at all._

"Of course dear" my mom said, not catching up with the change in her mood.

Bella got up from the table in a rush and moved towards the living room.

I couldn't hear what Bella was saying from the Living Room. So I went back to the conversation going on in the table. I was still weary though and I was hoping that everything was ok with Bella.

I was asking my parents to please not embarrass me in front of Bella with the many baby stories I had heard so many times before. _Yeah I was a smart baby and picked up on the fact that mommy had boobs real quick, bite me!_

We were still laughing and I was more like begging mom to not divulge that small detail of my childhood moments when Bella walked back in to the diner room. She looked completely different from the Bella that had spent the afternoon with me and my family. She looked worried and the tears were on the verge of falling from her eyes.

When she walked in everyone turned to look at her, and at that moment everyone noticed her broken appearance. The whole diner room went silence. The laugh that had filled our house for a whole afternoon faded with the good times and good memories made today.

Bella then started talking at a fast speed. "I'm so sorry but I, I have to go. Thank you very much for having me over Esme and Carlisle, it was nice meeting you. Alice, it was nice meeting you too" she said. Then she talked to me but never really looked at me.

"Edward I'll see you tomorrow in class" she said. Her voice still sounded troubled and her face looked panicked.

"Bella is everything alright?" I asked though I knew the answer to that.

She then looked at me but never met my eyes. Once I saw her eyes I would know what was really going on but she wouldn't look at me. "Yeah everything's ok, it's just my best friend needs my help right now with a little problem she's having" she said.

I got up to walk her to her car, but she immediately stopped me. "No, no, don't get up, I can walk myself out" she said, stopping me with her hands. "I'll just get my backpack from your room and then I'll be on my way. Thank you for having me today, I really appreciate it and sorry to rush out like this." She said looking at my mom and dad again.

"Bella don't worry sweetheart, it was a pleasure to have you with us today" my dad said in an assuring voice and my mom was nodding at what he said.

Bella started walking towards my room and I got up and went after her. There was no way Bella was leaving just like this. Something had to be going on to make her leave in such a panicked rush.

When we got to my room she was picking up her stuff in a hurry and putting them in her backpack. "Bella can you please tell me what's wrong?" I asked her. When she heard me she immediately jumped and looked back at me but then went back to picking up her stuff.

"Edward I have to go" was all she said.

"Is it because of your boyfriend?" I asked, knowing that this was most likely the reason why she looked so scared. She stopped what she was doing and finally looked at me. I knew then that I had guessed right. _That motherfucker was pulling her back home to him and there was nothing that I could do._

Bella finished packing everything and I just watched her. I sat on the edge of my bed just looking at her and wondering how a day so good could turn into such a bad one.

Bella started walking towards the door once again and this time my words came out before I even thought about them. "Bella wait! Come here please" I begged her. She looked at me and I saw pain flash across her face. Yet, she walked towards me and was looking at me straight in the eye.

She stood right in front of me and there were so many things I wanted to say and so many things I wanted to do. I settled for putting my hand on her arms. "Bella can you please at least text me to let me know everything's ok?" I asked her.

She looked at me and I noticed that she was on the verge of tears once again. "Edward I don't think that would be such a good idea" she told me. Those words hurt me so much that I felt like I couldn't breathe. We both just stood there looking at each other, trying to decipher the truth in the other's eyes.

I understood what she was telling me. Bella has a boyfriend and there's nothing I can do about that. And for me to be talking to her and to try to communicate with her was a bad idea specially if her boyfriend was the asshole I assumed he was. It could be dangerous.

I nodded my head to her and she just closed her eyes. A single tear fell from her eyes and I moved my hand to wipe it away. Her skin was so warm and it called to me. I wanted to just touch her cheeks and stay there. I wanted to console her and pamper her like she needed to, but it wasn't my place to do that. She had a boyfriend and that was the ugly truth, _even if I didn't want to admit it._

Bella then did something that surprised me. She dropped the backpack that she was holding with her right hand and leaned forward and hugged me. Her hold was tight and she was so warm. It hurt me to know that she was in so much pain and I just wanted to end it. While she was hugging me, I caressed her hair softly and patted circular patterns across her back. "Bella love, it's going to be ok" I told her, hoping that my words would comfort her but she just started sobbing even more. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

"Bella I promise I'll be there for you whenever you need me ok? I know that you probably can't talk to me much outside of school but I want you to know that if you ever need me I swear to you Bella I'll be there!" I confessed to her.

I hugged her tighter to me and we just embraced each other. Her sobs were calming down a bit and she was trying to calm her breathing. Then her phone that was in the back pocket of her jeans vibrated. She just moaned and then let go of me.

She reached for her phone and looked at it, and then she hit her forehead and picked up. I remained quiet the whole time.

"What?" she answered the phone with a harshly tone. I couldn't hear anything but then she raised her voice again. "I'm on my fucking way already!" she yelled and hung up the phone.

She then picked up her backpack and looked at me again. "Thank you for today Edward" she said with a soft voice. All trace of anger was gone. She only looked sad and like she had given up. _Please Bella don't give up!_

"I need to know that everything is ok Bella" I told her. I wasn't going to take a no for an answer.

She looked at me and I guess she must have seen my determination in my eyes because she nodded "I'll text Alice" she said.

I still wanted to hear her voice tonight but I understood the risk she was taking by agreeing to let me know how she was. I nodded and then she started walking and I got up from the bed. We both walked in silence and I walked her to the outside of my house.

"Goodnight Edward" she said to me but not looking at me. "Goodnight Bella, please take care of yourself" I said to her, hoping she could understand just how much I needed her to be ok.

She looked at me and gave me a small smile. Then she turned away and walked towards her car. She got on and then left. I was standing outside until I could no longer hear or see her car.

I walked back inside and walked back into the dining room. My mom and Alice were picking up the table and my dad was helping them. I started doing the same but without looking at them. I really didn't want to see anybody right now but I had to come and show them that I wasn't falling apart once again.

I helped to carry everything out to the kitchen and then Alice and I were going to do the dishes. Before my mom and dad left to their room, my mom came up to me and told me softly, "Be patient Edward, good things come to those who wait" she told me. I just nodded but still didn't look at her.

Then I started working on the dished with Alice. She didn't talk or asked me anything and for that I was grateful_. I really didn't know how much I could take_. We finished doing the dished and cleaning the kitchen and I started heading to my room. Alice was behind me and without looking at her I told her that I needed her cellphone.

I went into my room and ran to my closet. I felt around and finally found the bottle of whisky. I took a huge gulp of it and felt the burn in my throat. Though it burned, it felt good. I knew that if I kept it up, soon enough I wouldn't feel anything anymore.

I walked back to my room and lay on my bed. Alice walked in a couple of seconds later. She quickly saw the bottle of Crown that I was holding in my hands.

"Edward please, please don't do this!" she begged me. _Her voice was going to get on my nerves soon enough._ "Please Edward you don't have to kill yourself over this; can you please talk to me instead? I can just listen if that's what you need Edward!" she told me. I wasn't looking at her but her voice told me enough.

Alice had seen me plenty of times like this, and I know how much each of those times has hurt her. To see her older brother drown his sorrows in alcohol must be an amazing sight to see. I felt angry for doing this to Alice and instantly felt like a failure all over again.

"Look Alice I just need your phone, you don't have to stay her and watch the show. I'll take your phone back to your room when I'm done" I told her bitterly, taking a mouthful of the liquid once again.

I looked at Alice and she just nodded. She moved towards my bed and handed me the phone, but then, she sat on the bed and told me to scoot over. She was leaning against the headboard of the bed and crossed her legs while looking at me.

"I'm always here for you Edward" she told me with great sincerity.

I leaned over to Alice and leaned my head on her shoulder. "That bastard is killing her Alice" I told her.

I told Alice everything that happened knowing that though I would not feel better until I heard from Bella, I could at least talk to Alice and she could shine some light upon the situation and help me out.

Like she said, she's always there for me.

**A/N: So it's kind of short I know but the next chapter will be really dark and I want to make it good… Please don't forget to comment! Thanks**


	14. What Lies Beneath

**A/N: First of all I hope you guys enjoy reading this chapter. That beings said I really wish I could know what you guys are thinking when you read my story. Thank you for those who comment faithfully but I know there's so many of you that are reading. So please make me happy and review the chapter. **

**Disclaimer:** All Twilight related characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Chapter Song:** What Lies Beneath by Breaking Benjamin

**What Lies Beneath**

So I'll find what lies beneath

Your sick twisted smile

As I lie underneath

Your cold jaded eyes

Now you turn the tide on me

'Cause you're so unkind

I will always be here

For the rest of my life

**BPOV:**

The moment I could no longer see Edward or his house I pulled over on the side of the road. I couldn't drive in these conditions.

My phone vibrated in my back pocket again. A cruel reminder of the reality I was stuck in. I took it out and took a deep breath before answering the phone.

"Where the hells are you?" he asked with his deadly tone that I heard too often.

"I pulled over on the side of the road. I need a little time alone" I told him, knowing that he wouldn't care and that this would just make it worse.

"What do you mean you need time alone? You've had the whole week to yourself and you could've taken your fucking time alone then; but what are you doing? Hanging around with I don't know who the fuck and doing I don't fucking know what! So don't you fucking tell me that shit now and get to your house. I'm out here waiting for you" he yelled at me.

"Uhuh" I said and hung up the phone and I threw it on the passenger seat.

I sat there and analyzed my life. Here I was enjoying the company of a family I couldn't get close to. I was definitely putting them in danger, _Edward specially_. I thought about how unhappy I was and how this week that James hadn't been here had been so amazing.

I once again felt the tears rushing out of my eyes. I forced myself to stop crying. _I can't just cry over this shit._ I got myself in this mess and now I had to deal with the consequences and that included James. I knew that this was going to be a long night so might as well get it over with.

I heard my phone vibrate once again and with that I started the car and drove home.

A couple of minutes later I was there and saw that James was parked outside waiting for me. As I got out of the car I was trying to think of what I was going to tell him. I took my backpack out with me and started walking inside.

James was inside his car and didn't get out when I got there_. I know what that means!_ I walked into my house and found my parents watching TV. "Hey mom, hey dad" I said. They both turned to look at me and I tried to look somewhere else so that they couldn't tell I had been crying.

"Bella where were you? Do you know what time it is?" my dad asked without looking at me. _Great just what I need right now… for my dad to bitch at me too!_ "Dad I was at the Cullen's. I thought I told you both that I have a project to do with Alice for the whole semester and I'm going to have to be working outside of school with her" I told him. I had double checked my story so many times it felt like I was reciting it.

"Yeah well you missed dinner already. I'm not cooking so you better find something to eat! And James came looking for you; didn't you tell him you were going out? That is extremely irresponsible Bella. He's your boyfriend and you have a commitment to him." My mom said.

"Yes mom I know James came he's outside right now. I'm going out with him and I'll be back real quick ok? And no worries, Mrs. Cullen gave me food. I had dinner with them." I told my mom. Neither of them said anything so I just went upstairs and left my backpack there. I left my phone in my bed because I know James would want to call Alice to make sure I was there. _Hell no! That isn't happening. _

Before I walked out the door I took a deep breath and got ready to talk to James_. This was going to take a while and it was going to get ugly! _I walked outside saying bye to my parents who were still grouchy as hell. _Oh well time for that later._

I got in James's car and put on my seatbelt. He didn't look at me and I didn't say anything either. He started the car and started driving. We soon got to the lonely park where he usually brought me to 'talk things out' as he liked to say it.

He parked and then just looked out the window. I was feeling very relaxed and not in the mood to deal with his shit so I started talking.

"So how come you came back today? I thought I wouldn't see you for another week" I told him without looking in his direction.

"I really missed you and wanted to see you. Stupid me, I really thought you loved me" he answered with a quiet voice. I knew that voice well by now.

"So what, they let you out or what? I asked him, curious about the reason why he was here. He probably got fired since the bastard couldn't keep a job for too long!

"I asked for permission to come to Forks for today. I told them my mom was sick and that I needed to take her to the doctor." He answered back.

"Is your mom ok?" I asked, knowing that he most likely lied and that his mom was just fine. He was still looking out the window and just nodded. _Bingo!_

"So where were you?" he asked finally looking at me.

"I was at the house of this girl I'm doing a project with" I lied smoothly.

"What's her name?" he asked.

"Alice" I told him and before he asked I gave him all the details I could. "She lives here in Forks, her family moved here a couple of months ago. She has a brother but I've never met him and she doesn't talk about him. Don't worry I haven't even seen the guy so I can't possibly cheat with someone I haven't met." I told him with a heavy sarcastically voice.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were going out?" he asked looking at me. I could see that his calm facade was falling apart.

"I didn't think about calling you. Since I was going to a girl's house, I didn't see what the big deal would be" I said and he just laughed. "What's so funny?" I asked him, feeling irritated by his mere presence.

"'No big deal'? Really Bella? There's a fucking guy in that house how do you know that he's not some sort of freak or some asshole that can hurt you? He might be fucking sick for all you know! What if you come out of there raped?" he was yelling now and it was really pissing me off. There was no way that Edward would ever hurt me. I knew that for a fact.

"Ok first of all you need to quit yelling at me. I'm right next to you, there's no need to yell at-"

"Is 'cause you piss me off!" he yelled again and this time he punched the steering wheel of his car repeatedly. "I fucking swear Bella you better not be lying to me because if you are, you're going to pay for it" he said looking at me straight in the eye. He looked like he was possessed.

"Don't you fucking yell at me you asshole" I told him. I was losing it and he wasn't helping it.

"Then don't you fucking lie to me Bella. I can't believe I leave for a couple of days and you are already doing things behind my back. And what the fuck are you wearing Bella?" he asked. _Shit I totally forgot about the clothes!_

"What James, I went to a girl's house can you please just chill?" I asked him.

He looked away and just slammed his fist against the steering wheel again. "You're only hurting yourself" I said in a monotone voice. _I hope it fucking hurts you fucking asshole._

"Yeah, well it's better than hitting you! You fucking slut!" he yelled at me and his words hurt. They hurt and he fucking knew it.

I acted on impulse and felt the anger well up inside of me and I did what felt only normal. I slapped the asshole across the face. "You don't get to insult me you motherfucking asshole!" I yelled at him.

He looked at me with disbelief and deranged eyes. Then he started laughing. _What the fuck? _

He started laughing and rubbing his cheek. "You really think you can do whatever you want don't you?" he said to me while he was still laughing. I was getting more and more pissed off by the second. "You don't get to do what you want Bella. I tell you what to do and you do it. It's that simple, it's how it works. You don't get to do whatever you want" he said calmly.

I thought about what he would do if I decided to not give a shit about him and just walk off. He would tell my parents that we had sex and that would be enough for them to disown me. But I couldn't take this crap anymore. I was sick of James and all of his bullshit. I was literary going crazy with all of this crap.

I thought about the consequences of my actions. My parents would probably be furious to no end once they found out. Then, I thought about the fact that I'm eighteen years old and I can do as I please, even if my parents don't agree. In any case if they were too pissed off once they found out the truth I could just leave. I didn't have anywhere to go but any other place would be a nice change from this fucking life that I was leading with this dickhead.

"You think I can't do whatever I want?" I asked him. "Well watch me you asshole" I told him and with that I opened the door and started getting off the car. I could walk home.

James immediately got off the car and started yelling at me. "Bella get back here!" he yelled. "I'm not kidding get back here Bella, get back here right now!" he kept on yelling and I just ignored him. I just kept on walking without looking back.

All of the sudden I felt him pool my hand. He pressed it hard and pulled me back "I told you to get back here" he said turning me around. He was pressing my hand really hard and it was hurting me. "Don't fucking touch me!" I said and pulled my hand away from his grasp.

I started walking away again and I felt him following me. "Bella I'm going to say this one more time. Get back in the fucking car or I'm not responsible for my actions" he said. _I can't believe this shit._

I turned around and looked at him. "And what are you going to do James? Are you going to force me to get back in that car?" I asked him. "You must be losing your goddamn mind if you think I will willingly get in that car with you. " I told him in a calm manner and kept on walking.

It was dark and we were in an isolated area but I knew this area so I wouldn't get lost. I couldn't call my parents because I wasn't ready to deal with them. And I was most definitely not going to call Alice or Edward. I wouldn't do that to them. I wouldn't get them mixed up in this mess.

I didn't hear James behind me so I just kept on walking. A little while later I heard James start his car and saw him drive off. _Good riddance you asshole!_

I was walking a couple of minutes more when I saw his car up ahead on the road next to the park. He was waiting at the back of his car.

I acted like I didn't see him and kept on walking. "Bella get in the car" he said softly this time.

I ignored him and kept on moving. He then started walking towards me. I needed to get somewhere where there were houses soon. James then surprised the shit out of me.

He grabbed me by the hair and pulled me back. "I'm not fucking kidding. When I tell you to do something you do it without bitching" he said. I was trying to get him to let go of my hair. My head was pounding and I knew that he was probably breaking some of my hair.

"James let go of me, you're losing it" I told him. He then grabbed me by the upper arm and pulled me back. I could've tried yelling but there was no use. There were no houses near us and no one would hear me. I was going to have to endure this.

James kept on pulling me and dragging me back to his car. When we got there he let go of my arm and opened the door. I tried pulling off of him but he still had me by the hair. He looked at me and then picked me up and threw me in the car. I tried kicking him and landed a good kick on his chin.

He moaned and started rubbing his chin. He looked at me and I knew that something inside of him had clicked. "That's it bitch you've done it!" he said and with that I saw his fists go up. I closed my eyes and got ready for the blow that was sure to come.

He hit me on my left arm and a desperate cry left my mouth. I tried stopping him with my hands but he grabbed both of my hands with one of his. With the other hand he kept on hitting me. I felt his fist on my arm, legs, and my stomach. I could feel the tears running down my face but I was making no noises. The only sounds escaping me were the gushes of air after every blow.

No thoughts were going through my mind. _Nothing at all._ The only thing I felt was pain. Each blow brought with it a new layer of pain and there was no hiding from it.

When James saw me gasping for air I guess he felt better and then got off of me. He then stepped back and looked at me. Then he closed the door. I wanted to run but instead I wrapped my hands around my torso. I felt a sharp pain inside of me and I couldn't even move.

James then climbed in the car. He closed his door and then softly said to me "You're not going to this girl's house again ok Bella?" I couldn't even respond to him so I just stayed quiet. _I need some fucking painkillers!_

He then leaned towards me and grabbed my hair again. "Did you hear me bitch or are you stupid?" he asked with his still- soft voice. I just nodded. He let go of my hair and then leaned even more towards me. He was so close that I'm sure I flinched but he reached towards my seatbelt and clicked it on.

He then started the car and started driving. I was still stunned and couldn't even begin to grasp what had just happened to me. James was still quiet and after a while he turned on the radio and put on some radio station. He was humming along to the songs and I wasn't hearing anything. There was this annoying noise that was driving me crazy and I realized that it was me sobbing.

James stopped at a pharmacy and got off. I just waited there knowing that it was over since we were near my house and there were people out in the parking lot. He wouldn't touch me here.

He then came back and opened a bottle and handed it over to me. I grabbed it and took a sip. It was a soda and once I took a sip I was dying for another. I guess I was dehydrating and hadn't noticed that I was so thirsty.

He then leaned toward me. "Look baby I don't like hurting you but you can't just do stuff like that ok?" he said as he was wiping away my tears_. I can't believe he's being sweet to me right now._ I was repulsed by his touch. If back then I didn't like him touching me, now I could literary die from it.

"Ok I'm going to go drop you off now because I have to go back to Seattle tonight. I won't come back for the weekend because I took today off, but I know you'll behave so I'm not even going to worry about that." He said in a fatherly, caring voice.

I looked out to the window and ignored his comment. I was looking at a teenage couple going in to the pharmacy. They were laughing and holding hands. That was something I didn't have… and by the looks of it, was also out of my reach.

"Oh and one more thing Bella…" James said with a nonchalant voice. "Can you please look at me?" he asked me. I wanted to go home so bad so I just looked at him. He looked calm and like he actually cared about me. I could see all of his love for me in his eyes. _That is some sick love right there._

"I know you love your dad very much and wouldn't want him to get hurt would you?" he asked me. At that moment, my heart froze. _What the fuck was he talking about?_ I cleared my throat in an attempt to talk. My mouth was dry and it was burning from all the crying I had done.

"What do you mean?" I asked him. I felt the panic coming on and I was feeling claustrophobic. _I need to get the fuck out of here!_

"Well I'm sure that you won't mention what happened tonight to anybody otherwise dear daddy would pay the consequences of that mistake." He said with a soft smile. I felt hurt and my heart was beating a thousand times per second_. My dad! He wanted to fucking hurt my dad!_

There is no way that he will ever hurt my dad. I rather die in his hands than live with the knowledge that I'm responsible for my dad being hurt. I gathered whatever strength I had and cleared my throat again. "You won't have to worry about that James, I won't tell anyone anything" I told him. And though all of my instincts told me I was making yet, another mistake, I wasn't going to say anything.

"I know babe" he said with a smile in his voice.

He then started the car and started driving towards my house. When we got there he got off and told me to wait. I did so and he came around and opened the door for me. He offered his hand and I took it, knowing what would happen if I didn't.

He then pulled me into him and hugged me. It hurt so badly when he pressed me to him. I was definitely going to feel worse tomorrow… _fuck!_ "You know I love you right?" he asked me as he hugged me. I swallowed the vomit that threatened to come out of my mouth and nodded. He felt my nod and then let go of me.

He took my hand and started walking me towards the door. He knocked and my mom opened the door. I didn't look directly at her and instead opted to look at the floor. "Hey kiddos your back!" my mom said excitedly. "Yes Esme, we went for a little ride. I'm going back to Seattle to work and I wanted to see my babe before I left" James said with a smooth voice.

My mom obviously thought it was delightful that James wanted to spend time with his daughter "Awww that is so sweet of you James, I'm so glad that Bella has you to love her. This girl doesn't have any friends at all, it sometimes worries me you know?" my mom said.

"I know! That's what I tell her sometimes" James answered with the same tone. He was still holding my hand and I just wanted to get out of there and go to my room. "Well James baby, I'm tired and I'm going to go to sleep because I have school tomorrow." I told him.

My mom then walked away and left us to say goodbye in private. I looked at James straight in the eye and he did the same. "Ok, fair enough" he said after a while with a smile still plastered on his face. "Goodnight James" I told him. "I love you babe" he told me. "Me too" I simply answered and started walking in. "Can you please say it" he said. And I stopped and looked at him. "I love you too James" I told him and with that I closed the door.

"Good night mom" I said wanting to avoid any contact with her or my dad but apparently he was already asleep.

I went straight upstairs to my room. I grabbed some close and headed for the shower. When I took off my clothes I did an inspection and noticed that bruises were starting to form in my stomach and my arms. Right now they didn't hurt that bad but I knew that tomorrow they would be really bad.

I took the shower and then got dressed in my pajamas. Then I went to my room. When I finally heard my mom go to sleep I went downstairs and took the bottle of painkillers and a bottle of water. When I got back to my room I took two pills and then lay down to sleep.

I was still in some sort of shock about what had happened tonight. James had never hit me before but tonight he definitely crossed that line. He put his hands on me and now I couldn't even say anything. I loved my dad too much to let him get hurt by James.

James knew that his threat would work because out of all the people he could have threatened, he threatened the one I cared the most about. Yeah my relationship with my dad had taken a turn for the worse the moment he saw me with James but he was still who I ran to for help. Now I couldn't even do that.

I had finally found out the full potential of who James was beneath that nice person he seemed to be. He was an animal. James is a heartless person, who did whatever he thought necessary to get his way. Beneath the nice, loving, caring guy he is just a codependent asshole, and I didn't realize it until it was too late.

I thought about my whole day and how it had been filled with so much fun. I loved being at Edward's house and laughed more than I had laughed in a long time. Now I don't know what would happen with that. I couldn't just keep on going to his house, no matter how much I enjoyed it. I was going to miss Alice.

Even though I had barely met her, I already considered her my friend and I know that she sees me as a friend too.

That reminded me that I needed to text her. So I reached for my phone. when I opened it, I had five new text messages. One was from James. I opened that one first.

_**I luv you babe, don't ever forget that – James**_

I quickly replied to that one.

_**I know – Bella**_

The other four messages were from Alice's number. But I had put Edward's number under Alice so I checked whose number it was and it turns out that both of them had been texting me. I opened Alice's messages first.

_**I hope everything is ok with your friend – Alice**_

_**Let me know if you ever need help. Luv you! xoxo – Alice**_

I sent her a reply.

_**Yeah everything is ok with my friend. And thanks… I'll keep that in mind. Luv you too! xoxo – Bella**_

I then read Edward's messages. These were the ones I was nervous about. I hoped that Edward wasn't super worried about me.

_**Bella I'm worried about you. Are you ok? Remember I'm here if you need my help – Edward**_

_**Bella I'm going to call your parents. Did you get home safe? – Edward**_

Oh shit! I needed to answer him soon or he'd be calling my house.

_**Edward I'm fine. It just slipped my mind to text Alice. Thanks for everything. Apologize to your parents for me. Sorry I left in a rush. C u 2morrow. – Bella**_

I felt saddened by the fact that my relationship with Edward would never grow. I needed to stay away from him. I don't know how I was going to do that but I had to succeed one way or another. My dad was _NOT_ going to get hurt because of me!

I was finally feeling drowsy from the pills so I decided to give up on thinking for the night.

I put the phone down and a couple of seconds later I received a text message that left me dumbfounded.

_**Good night love – Edward.**_

**A/N: Ok so it was a heavy chapter…. Is James sick or what? What do you think will happen next with Bella and Edward? *Also I want to recommend **_**Breaking the Abusive Silence**_** by Ms. Jessica Cullen. It's a heavy but funny story about a hypersexual Edward. *Faints just thinking about it!***


	15. Colors

**A/N: Ok guys, thank you so much for the many favorites and alerts I've been receiving for my story. You guys rock my world! Also I want to thank moondancer1179****, ****tigger5600****, ****Jasper's Darlin' Kathy****, ****Ms. Jessica Cullen**** , ****Abby-Swan**** (I hope I don't disappoint you with Edward's thoughts), and of course: ****cullen818****. Thank you guys for reviewing and letting me know what you think! **

**Now all you readers go and follow their good example! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight Character… I'm just in love with Edward!

**Chapter Song: **Colors by Crossfade

**COLORS**

I know you feel alone, yeah, and no one else can figure you out  
But don't you ever turn away from the ones that help you down  
Well they'd love to save you. Don't you know they love to see you smile?  
But these colors that you've shined are surely not your style

**EPOV:**

I was waiting for class this class to be over so I could see her. Last night had been a horrible way to end such a good day. I needed to make sure she was ok. I needed to know that we were still ok.

The nerves were eating me alive and I couldn't wait for this class to end so I just got up and walked out of class. The professor was staring at me as I walked out but I didn't give a damn. _I'm the one fucking paying for classes bitch!_

I walked towards history class in a rush and not even the music playing in my iPod could ease my nerves.

I got to class 20 minutes earlier and no one was there in the hallways waiting for the professor to get there.

I sat down and tried my best to chill the fuck out! The truth is that I have a massive headache from drinking last night and the fact that Alice had to pour freezing water on me to wake me up was not helping it. _I need to fucking drink something again!_

As I waited there I started thinking and that was never a good thing.

I started thinking about Bella and how that asshole was ruining her life. I wanted so much to help her but I still didn't know how. Also Bella had not told me anything about him or if she's unhappy… though that's clear in her eyes.

I wish I could find some way to help her get out of that corrosive relationship that's doing her no good before it becomes too late.

Thoughts of Bella brought me to thoughts about Tanya. _God I miss her so much! _

I started thinking about how Tanya and I would spend the weekdays together at school in the hallways. We were always together. I often got shit and trash-talking from the guys but I didn't care. I loved being with Tanya!

Days like today often reminded me that I was alone and broken all over again. No matter how hard I tried to glue myself together, I couldn't.

No matter how much I pretended to be fine and how good of a show I presented to everybody, inside, I was still the broken motherfucker who couldn't save his girlfriend.

Guilt overcame me once again. I started thinking about that dreadful night and how happy I was that afternoon. I wanted to see Tanya so bad and I was anxious to see her.

The whole time I was dating Tanya I had made it my mission to make her forget the days when she woke up and only found tears. She had told me how humiliated she was by that asshole.

She told me how he made her do things she didn't want to; how he pressured her to sleep with him; how she couldn't go anywhere without him; how she couldn't wear the clothes she wanted to, and how she couldn't be herself around him.

From the moment she told me that, I knew that it was my job to make her happy. Tanya was a good person and she didn't deserve to be treated the way that asshole did. She deserved to be spoiled and cared for. She needed loads of tender loving care and I would be the one to provide it to her.

Just thinking about all that Tanya had gone through got me thinking about Bella again, but then my thoughts were interrupted when Jacob, my history professor got there and let us in.

_Hmm how strange… Bella is usually here early…_

I sat down in the front row, knowing that Bella loved the front. I wanted to be as close to her as possible just to make sure she was ok.

Five minutes passed and Jacob started the class. Bella still wasn't there and I was getting nervous. I tried to concentrate and told myself that Bella would want to borrow my notes since she missed the beginning of the lesson.

That helped a bit and I was focusing on Jacob's power point when Bella walked in through the door.

What I saw left me astounded.

Bella's eyes connected with mine as soon as she walked in the door but then she quickly diverted them. She looked horrible!

Her eyes were puffy and she had huge eye bags under them.

She was dressed differently too. Instead of wearing her usual T-shirts or even her tight shirts that fit her so good, Bella was wearing a black hoodie and a pair of loose jeans. Her hair was down, covering her face, but it looked almost as dead as her expression.

I had placed my backpack in the seat next to me so that no one would sit there until Bella arrived.

She was standing there almost debating where to sit so I quickly removed my backpack from the seat and looked at her.

She looked at me in the eye once again and then looked down to the floor. Her eyes looked so sad and it was making me nervous. _She's not fucking ok! If he fucking touched her I swear…_

She then started walking towards the tables where everyone was seating but instead of walking towards my table, she walked all the way to the back of the classroom.

I turned around and looked at her as she sat down on the last row of seats, furthest from everyone else. _Ok something is definitely fucking wrong!_

Anxiety started eating me once again and I wanted this fucking class to end already. Who cares about this shit anyways?

As class dragged I was surprised when I saw Bella pass by and walk out of the classroom early. What the hell?

As I was about to get up, Black decided it was a fucking perfect time to call on me and ask a question! _Fucking shithead!_

By the time I had answered the question, the shithead thought it was a good time to end class. I walked out of that classroom pissed as hell and I was trying to find Bella.

I walked out into the hallway in a rush but I didn't see Bella. I knew that since our next class didn't start until 11:30, we had break.

I started running towards the parking lot trying to find her. I needed to talk to her. I needed to hear that she was ok.

When I got to the parking lot there was no sign of Bella anywhere. I started looking around for her car but didn't see it. Not many people had a Volvo in Port Angeles or any towns near here.

After a while of looking for her I gave up and got in my car. I started driving towards the restaurant where I had first seen her hoping that she would be there.

As I drove I kept on asking myself why didn't I just drop it, but the fact of the matter is that even if I wanted to, I couldn't.

Helping Bella has become my focus and my reason for life. Even though that might sound corny or exaggerated, it is true. I live to help Bella.

If I didn't do things right with Tanya I was sure as hell going to do them right with Bella.

When I got to the restaurant I quickly got off the car and walked in quickly, but no sign of Bella anywhere. I was really starting to freak out and I was getting worried. What if she's in danger right now?

I wanted to text her but I hadn't noticed if she had her phone. I didn't want someone else picking up the phone. That would just make it worse for her.

I texted Alice instead and told her to text Bella.

I waited a couple of minutes and got a reply from Alice.

_**Hmmm she's not answering Edward… - Alice**_

_Fuck! Where are you Bella?_

I gave up momentarily and decided that I needed something to eat. Yesterday's alcohol was taking its toll on me.

I ate and then headed back to the college. When I got there I went into the Biology classroom. Again I saved a seat for Bella at the front row of the classroom.

This time she walked in on time but once again headed toward the back of the classroom and merely looked my way. I was debating whether to move and go sit next to her but I didn't know how well that would sit with her.

I endured the first half of biology by trying to focus. Thinking about the fact that at least she was safe at this moment inside this classroom helped me keep my cool.

When the ten minute break between lecture and lab started, I walked out and waited for Bella to come out.

Everybody started walking out of the classroom and apparently somebody said hi to me but I didn't register who it was. I was so focused on Bella. I needed to know that she was ok.

A couple of seconds later I noticed that no one was coming out of the classroom anymore I walked back in and saw that Bella was talking to Emmett.

They both looked at me and I was looking at her but she quickly looked down. _Come on Bella… look at me!_

"Can I help you with something Edward?" Emmett asked me.

"hmm no nothing I was just waiting for Bella… I have a question that I want to ask her" I answered to Emmett without looking away from Bella.

"You know if you have question I can help you too" Emmett offered_. Fuck, why is everything so wrong today?_

"No is a question about our next class" I quickly lied. Emmett looked like he understood and nodded.

He finished explaining everything to Bella and then went back to his desk. Bella went back to her table and grabbed her things.

She was taking her time and the whole time I was standing there I was wondering what I had done wrong or if I had done something wrong to begin with for her to ignore me like this.

Finally when Bella got her things Emmett started heading towards the laboratory for our next class.

We both walked out of the classroom in silence. We walked in the hallway and then I finally decided to break the silence.

"Bella look at me" I said. I looked at her but she just kept on gazing straight ahead.

"Ok can you at least answer me a question?" I asked her. I was getting frustrated and I wanted answers.

"What?" Bella said in a quiet voice. Her voice had my heart beating wildly and breaking in pain. She sounded so torn and broken.

"What the hell happened last night Bella?" I asked her.

I was gazing straight at her and when I finished asking my question her eyes narrowed and then she looked down to the floor.

We were still walking and when we were almost at the lab Bella spoke up. "Edward I told you, my friend had a problem and I had to be there for her. Now, if you don't mind I have to use the restroom before I go into lab" she said with the same broken voice and then she walked off and entered the restroom that was nearby.

I was frustrated to no point and I definitely was getting to the point of angry. What could possibly be so bad that it had this effect on Bella? I walked into lab and sat down on my usual seat.

One of the girls in my table was trying to talk to me but I was too lost in my thoughts to even reply to her.

I started thinking about how different this Bella was from the Bella from yesterday.

She was happy and laughing and making fun of Alice and me, and thinking that my dad was sweet for chasing after my mom. _What the hell happened to that girl?_

Not knowing was killing me and what was worse, Bella was avoiding me. She didn't want to tell me.

When she came back, instead of seating down next to me she asked one of the girls, I think Kelsey was her name, to switch seats with her.

The other girl quickly agreed and had a huge smile on her face. I wanted to glare at the blonde but what good would it do?

After lab ended Bella walked out of there like somebody was chasing her. I was tired of trying to get answers from her.

Even if I want to help Bella, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped!

I was definitely angry with her and if this is how she wanted things to go then I could do that. I could also ignore her.

When I got to English class I walked in and found Bella talking to Rosalie, our professor. Please don't tell me she's planning to change partners?

_She wouldn't do that would she?_

I sat down and took out my laptop. I started roaming around but was really trying to hear the conversation the two ladies were having.

_I couldn't hear shit._

Bella then returned to her seat and without looking at me once again.

She started taking out her laptop and setting up for class. Today was someone else's turn to present and for that I was glad. I didn't want to be up there talking to a bunch of people who couldn't give a fuck about literature.

As class dragged on my anger for Bella was disappearing.

From my peripheral vision I could see just how broken she was. I still didn't know if she was ok.

I was no longer surprised when Bella walked out of class early. This time I was ready to get my answers!

After she walked out I also got up and started walking.

"Mr. Edward is everything ok" Rosalie asked in her formal voice.

"Yes ma'am I just need to get going, I have an emergency at home" I told her.

She just nodded and continued on with class. When I finished stepping into the hallway and shutting the door, I saw Bella at the end of the hallway. She was walking kind of funny. _Is something wrong with her? _

"Bella!" I yelled at her.

She turned around and looked at me. A puzzled face greeted me when I caught up with her.

"Are you ok Edward?" she asked me still with confused eyes.

"I could ask you the same thing but you're not so talkative today are you?" I replied bitterly.

She looked ashamed and I immediately felt bad for being an ass to Bella. She already has enough shit to deal with.

"I'm sorry Bella, but the whole day I've been trying to talk to you. I want to know what's going on or at least if you're ok. Are you ok Bella?" I finally asked her.

She looked at me straight in the eye and I was hypnotized by her eyes.

Her gaze was cold when she spoke to me and honestly, that terrified me a little.

"Yes Edward I'm ok. You don't need to worry about me. I can take care of myself. I don't need your help, so please can we just stick to working on our project and leaving my personal life and yours out of it?" she asked me.

I felt myself falling apart. So she really didn't care much about me. She didn't need my help. I was too late to help Tanya and I didn't get a second chance. I didn't get a re-do. Bella didn't need me or wanted my help for that matter.

I was frozen and words escaped me but I managed to nod.

She looked at me and her eyes softened up a little. "Thank you Edward… for caring and for being worried about me, but like I said, it's not necessary"

"I'm sorry for being so meddlesome" I told her when my voice finally came back to me. I was in a shock state and didn't know what to do or say.

I stood there and I could tell she was feeling uncomfortable. I didn't want her to feel bad. I didn't want to be a bother to her and if she wanted me to leave her alone, then that is what I would do.

I trusted her enough to tell me if she needed help. Or maybe I just accepted the fact that I couldn't help her.

I started moving and I was turning away. "I'll see you Monday so we can work on the project. Tell me when you have the location picked out". I told her in a soft voice. I tried not to show my disappointment to her.

With that I walked away and didn't turn back. I knew that she was headed to the parking lot so I went the opposite way through the library so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable in my presence.

When I got out of the library, I couldn't help but to look around and look for that shiny Volvo, but there was no trace of it. She was gone.

I took a deep breath and exhaled and then headed home, with a broken heart and ready for some more booze.

I was feeling miserable and didn't want to see anybody. I also had no more booze left from last night and when I went to my dad's alcohol stash I found out that he had actually placed a lock on the shelf. _Fuck this shit!_

I went back to my room and turned the music even louder. Right now _Crossfade_ was on my good graces.

I was out in my deck looking out into the forest outside of our house. I definitely wanted to get the hell out of here right now.

I didn't want to think about anything. All these things, all these situations were bringing the worse out of me. I was crashing and burning slowly and painfully.

I was angry and I was sad, but I didn't want to feel either. As a matter of fact, I didn't want to feel at all.

I unhooked my iPod from the iPod deck in my room and I plugged in my headphones.

No one was home yet, but I didn't bother leaving a note. They could call me if they needed me.

I got in the car and started driving towards my favorite place in the world to be.

When I got to the end of the road I got off and started walking. It was kind of chilly but I had a hoodie on so that would be enough.

I started jogging in the little trail that not many people in Forks seemed to know about or maybe they just were sick of all the trees in the town to even come here.

I had barely seen any people in this park during the time I have lived here.

I had my headphones on and I was listening to the music really loud. I wanted to drown out any sounds from the outside and especially the ones inside my own fucking mind.

I didn't want to think about anything. I just wanted to release all this pent up anger and deception that was making itself at home in me.

I started running really fast, and I could feel my legs hurting me but I didn't care. But as much as I tried to turn off all thoughts from my mind I couldn't.

Tanya was on my mind.

Bella was on my mind.

I started thinking about how sometimes you are provided with the chance to redeem yourself. You get the chance to do things right. You get the chance to help someone to forget their worries and troubles, and in the process, probably help yourself.

But what do you do when that person doesn't want to be helped? What if they refuse to let you in? What do you do then? Do you just give up?

I was getting angrier and angrier at myself. Why couldn't I just fucking help her? I wanted to! I wanted her to trust me but how could I do that.

How could I possible make Bella trust me?

I wanted to help her with all of my heart but she had asked me to forget about it. So what now? Did I respect her wishes? Or did I go with my gut instinct and helped her fight her demons?

I started looking around, trying to distract myself and stop thinking about her. _Well that worked for like two seconds!_

I passed by the peaceful sitting area that the trail had off to the side, arranged with concrete tables and benches. I usually stopped here when I wanted to think, but right now it just reminded me of Bella.

The first time I dreamed about her, I dreamed that I was kissing her while we were here, sitting in that bench.

The kiss was passionate and I was obviously enjoying it in the dream.

I kept on running because those thoughts just brought me back to the present shitty situation I was stuck in. _I'm fucking tired of this already!_

My legs were now starting to feel numb but I wanted to keep on going. I had already gone around the circular trail three times and when I was finishing my fourth one, I passed by the sitting area again.

I was running out of breath and I couldn't get the air through my lungs.

I decided to walk towards the bench to sit there so I could catch my breath. I sat on the table and starting taking off my headphones.

When I did I heard someone sobbing. _What the fuck?_

I looked around and then I noticed someone sitting on the floor leaning against the wall of the concrete table. Their back was facing me but I could see that it was a girl and, that hair… yeah I could recognize that hair anywhere!

_This was Bella._

I quickly moved to the other side of the table and stood in front of her. My heart broke to pieces once again by the vision before me.

Bella was with her knees pulled against her chest, and her arms wrapped around them. She was covered in tears and her hair was fanning out on her shoulders.

"Bella?" I told her. She quickly looked up at me, startled as hell.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" she asked me. She was trying to get up, but couldn't.

I offered her my hand and prayed that she took it, not just now, but always.

She took my hand and her touch never failed to mesmerize me. The current of electricity passing between us was undeniable and I know that she felt it too.

She got up and sat on the concrete table. She was trying to wipe the tears from her face and I had the urge to touch her once again.

I stopped her by putting my hand over hers in her face. I pulled her hand away from her face and held on to it. With my other hand, I started to wipe away her tears, and for once today I felt at ease.

I knew she was safe with me and that helped me. I ignored the ever present electricity coursing between us and continued holding her hand, even after I finished wiping her face.

She was looking at me but had no expression on her face whatsoever.

I stared back at her and I had no clue what she saw on my face because she broke the silence but only to lie to me once again.

"I'm ok Edward. I'm just having an off day" she said defensively but yet, she couldn't look at me in the eye. Instead she was looking down at her knees.

I tried not to make it obvious that I didn't believe her and I just nodded.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" I asked her, signaling to the table next to her.

I was trying to distract her and I so that I could forget about this fucked up day I was having.

She looked at me and gave a poignant smile, and then she patted the table next to her left. I still held her hand even as I sat and she still hadn't pulled away… _something that I was doing an internal happy dance for. _

"So you didn't answer my question" she said after a while.

"Yeah… sorry I was a little distracted, what was your question?" I asked her with a little laugh to my question.

"What are you doing here?" she said.

We were both looking around, but I looked at her and answered "let's just say that you're not the only one having a bad day" I said truthfully.

She looked at me and just nodded.

I knew that by telling her that, I was opening myself to the possibility of having to tell her all about me, but I thought that as long as she shared her story with me, I wouldn't mind.

An eye for an eye… sort of… more like give and give…

"So what are _you_ doing here?" I asked her.

"Hmm I like coming here when I'm having these kinds of days. It's lonely and beautiful" she told me. Her voice still sounded thick from the crying but she was starting to look better.

"Yeah me too" I said.

I started rubbing circles in her hand and her skin felt soft and I just wanted to keep on doing that. Honestly… it was making _me_ feel better.

I saw her close her eyes and take a deep breath. "That feels amazing" she said.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Uhum" she answered back. Her eyes were still close and she looked so serene, so peaceful.

It was then that my decision was made.

Just this afternoon she had told me to stay away but now I know that I couldn't. Bella needed me, even if she wasn't going to admit it.

I wasn't going to just let her push me away.

Sometimes people push you away out of fear of being hurt. Other times people push you away because they rather not involve anybody else in the mess they call life. _I would know. _

I know, and that is why I wouldn't give up. Just like my family hadn't given up on me, even when I pushed them away, I would not allowed myself to be pushed out of Bella's life. I would not quit trying to save Bella.

"Bella I just want to know that you're really ok" I told her in a low voice, hoping that she wouldn't get mad at me for butting in… yet again.

She took a deep breath and sighed again.

She didn't say anything for a while and she was just looking around but I could tell she was thinking.

I was praying that she wasn't mad. After a while I opened my mouth to talk. I couldn't hold all of these things inside of me anymore. She had to know.

"Sorry if me being this concerned makes you feel freaked out Bella, but I feel that with you I have a chance to do what I couldn't do a long time ago. I want to be there for you Bella. I want to make things right. And I know that we barely know each other, but I want to get to know you, I want to be the person who's there when you need someone. I want to be that someone".

She was looking at me and her mouth was opened into a little 'o'… then her eyebrows came together.

"What do you mean do things right again Edward?" she asked.

"Look Bella, my past is a fucked up one. I made a mistake that I will never forgive myself for. But I want to make things right… or better, if that's possible. If I help you Bella, that would make my life a little less miserable, but you have to trust me. I would never hurt you." I told her sincerely looking at her in the eye.

At my last words her eyes widened up and I could tell that she knew that I was figuring it out. I was putting two and two together and I knew what that asshole was doing to her.

She took yet another deep breath and started talking.

"Edward, I'm not ok. I'm in a lot of trouble right now. I really appreciate you trying to help me but I don't want you to be hurt. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you" she said looking at me still. Her eyes were sad and they were getting watery.

I stood up and position myself in front of her, putting my right knee in the bench. I look down at her hand that I was still holding and I thought about how to answer to that.

"Don't you see Bella? I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to you too. I would be hurting just by knowing that you're not ok. I would be in hell, just because you're in it as well. I want to help you Bella. I want to be there for you and I want you to trust in me." I told her.

Tears were falling out of her eyes and I found myself wiping them out again.

"Shhh beautiful don't cry" I told her trying to calm her down.

She then broke down into sobs and I wondered what I had done wrong. She then grabbed me by my hoodie and pulled me closer to her and just like last night, she pulled me into a crushing hug.

She was sobbing and I was petting her amazingly soft hair. I knew then that this is what I was meant to do. I was here to comfort Bella and to make her be happy. That would be my mission in life from now on. I would make Bella smile.

"Bella look at me" I told her and I had to prepare myself because I knew that seeing her cry would make me hurt again.

She looked at me with red, teary, eyes. I put both of my hand on her cheeks and I looked at her directly in the eye. She was still holding on to my shirt with both of her hands.

"Take a deep breath" I ordered and she did as I told her.

"Ok now think about…. hmm… the keyboard cat!" I told her excitedly. She just laughed through her tears and that made me soar.

"What the heck?" she said laughing still.

"I ache to see that smile in your face that makes you so lovely" I told her and she immediately blushed.

All of her tears were stopped and I was soaring with confidence. I leaned down and she saw me coming. She closed her eyes and pulled on my shirt tighter. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster.

"I don't want to hurt you Edward" she whispered. I still kept on going and I placed a soft, tender kiss on her forehead.

"Silly girl, you would only hurt me by keeping me away" I told her and with that she opened her eyes.

"Edward can I ask you for a favor?" she told me. _Was she really asking me that?_

"Anything beautiful" I told her. She smiled and blushed when I called her that. _I would have to keep on calling her that. _

She looked down at our hands and then got serious.

"Edward, I don't know if I'm ready to tell you everything that's going on with me. But I want you to know that I trust you. I really do. I also appreciate that you are trying to help me, and I'm more than grateful to you for that, but you have to promise me that you will tell me when you get sick of being there for me" she said in a serious voice.

_She's being ridiculous. _

"Bella that won't be necessary, I will never get sick of being there for you. I couldn't possibly get sick of something that brings me so much peace and happiness." I replied still holding her face.

"Just promise me that anyways Edward" she said.

"You know Bella? I can see through you. I know that the person you are at school or when you are out in public… that's not you. I know that. I can see it. I can see that you think you're not worth much and that you're not worth the trouble but…"

"I'm not" she interrupted me.

"Oh but that's where you're wrong Bella. Listen to me carefully Bella; you're worth everything and anything. I know you think you're alone in all this mess Bella, but I'm here and I will help you, so will Alice for that matter. We are here for you and we want you to be ok. We want you to be happy. So please, don't turn away and don't refuse our help"

She nodded and then gave me a smile. Then when a little bit of air flowed through the sitting area she shivered.

"And I'll start by giving you my hoodie because I can tell you're cold" I told her with a laugh.

With that I started taking off my hoodie and then I handed it to her.

She took it but wouldn't take her eyes away from my body. I looked down and saw that my shirt had ridden up. _Oopss_!

I looked at her and she noticed that I had caught her looking.

"Like what you see Swan?" I asked her laughing. She was now tomato red and decided that was a good time to put the hoodie over her head, which just made me laugh even more. It also was making my ego bigger!

"Anyways!" she said rolling her eyes.

"Come on, admit it, you liked what you just glimpsed at" I told her joking around. But really I was hoping she would like it. Even if she just liked the outside, that was great progress on my watch.

"You're full of yourself Cullen" she answered and then hit me on my chest, making me take a couple steps back. She laughed when I tripped on a bark that was lying on the floor behind me and I ended up falling on my ass on the damp floor.

"I'm going to have to get you back for that Ms. Swan" I told her.

She feigned like she was scared and then busted out laughing real loud. I looked at her while she laughed and I couldn't help but feel proud of her. She had me so captivated with a simple laugh and I couldn't find ways enough to show her just how much I was determined to help her.

I got up and walked closer to her and she was still laughing at me. I took her face in my hands again and this time nothing was going to stop me.

"You're so Beautiful Bella" I told her and then I kissed her lips.

_Holy fucking shit!_

Not even a thousand dreams could have done justice to this moment right here.

Bella's lips were soft and warm and _oh so inviting_. I wanted to stay this way forever.

But what I had never expected was Bella's reaction.

She placed her hands on my shoulders and pulled me closer to her so that I was standing in between her legs. She then threw herself into the kiss with so much force. She moved her hands to my hair and I could feel my body reacting in ways I had never felt before.

I moved my hands down to her back and I started moving them around. She pulled my hair harder and that elicited a groan from me.

_Fuck and don't it feel good!_

I pressed my hands into her lower back and then I felt her tongue massaging my lips. _I wanted to taste her so fucking bad!_

I opened my mouth and trapped her tongue with mine. Our tongues were dancing together and she tasted amazing. One of her hands went down to my lower back and she pulled me tighter against her.

I was towering over her and my hands on her lower back ached to go lower. I wanted to touch more of Bella so that I could convince myself that this was not a dream but I didn't dare. I didn't want to cross the line and push Bella to do something she didn't want to.

But once again Bella surprised me.

She moved her other hand down to my lower back and picked my shirt up from behind.

_Yeah… that wasn't helping the problem I was having up front._

"Ugh Bella, you're killing me!" I groaned against her lips.

She then quickly pulled herself away from me and I thought I had fucked things up, but the Bella that I was looking at right now… yeah… I was speechless.

She was breathing hard and had a huge grin on her face.

"I bet you've been dying to do that haven't you?" she asked with a mischievous voice.

_Oh fuck me!_

"Ugh Bella stop it, you really are killing me… where has this tease been all this time?" I asked; glad to see that she wasn't angry.

She threw her head back and laughed real hard.

"Oh Cullen, there's so many things about me you don't know and would be surprised to see." She said looking at me in the eye.

I was once again speechless and then she started getting up.

I backed away so that she could get off of the table and then she started walking towards me with a sexy smile on her face.

"You want to see more?" she asked.

_Fuck this girl will be the death of me!_

"Fuck Bella, you know I do, you shouldn't even be asking me that" I told her.

She then grabbed both of my hands and wrapped them around her torso and left her hands there. The whole time she was looking at me directly in the eyes.

Her eyes were shining and she seemed so happy. I was happy just by seeing her.

She then stood on the tip of her shoes "I'll show you more" she said, and kissed me in a gentle but torturous way that could induce any guy into a coma.

A couple of seconds later I was so lost in the kiss I didn't notice what she was doing until I felt her hands move my hands down to her ass.

_Ok… I'm officially done for… this sweet, pretty, girl just made me come in my pants. _

I squeezed her cheeks and pulled her against me. Conveniently enough there was a huge tree near us and I leaned against it, bringing her with me.

I know that she could feel the straining erection in my pants because she groaned and rubbed her stomach against it, which once again elicited another groan from me.

She then pulled away and looked at me once again.

"I have to go" she said with a smile still plastered on her face.

"What do you mean you have to go" I whined. I was breathing hard it was almost embarrassing.

_She's teasing me… and she knows that it's working!_

She just laughed. "You silly boy, I have to go home… it's getting late already", she said pointing towards the sky that was getting darker.

"Let me walk you back to your car" I told her.

She looked at me and a sad smile appeared on her face.

"I don't think that would be such a hot idea right now Edward. Thank you for offering though" she said.

"Fine you walk first to your car, and then text me when you get to it so that I know you made back out there safe" I told her.

She nodded and then looked down at the floor.

"Thank you Edward, for helping me today, and for not giving up on me" she said looking back at me.

"Like I said, you're worth too much to be given up on" I told her honestly.

"Bye" she said and then with a sweet smile she turned to walk away.

I stood there until I couldn't see her anymore. Then I walked and sat on the bench. I did a recap of what had just happened here and I had to laugh out loud.

_I had just had a fucking make out session with fucking Bella Swan!_

But more importantly, Bella had allowed me in. She was going to trust me. She would let me… and Alice, help her.

I had now, the chance to save Bella. I had the opportunity to see her smile. I had the chance to see her true colors… the ones that made Bella, the beautiful girl I was in love with.

My phone beeped a couple of minutes later and I took it out.

_**Hey handsome… I'll c u Monday the library ;)– Bella**_

I smiled at the fact that she called me handsome and once again my ego was patting me on the back and saying _"You go Eddie boy, that's the way it's done!"_

I texted her back right away knowing that she would have to erase those messages as soon as she finished reading them.

_**Ok beautiful see you then ;-) – Edward**_

After that she didn't answer back. I started walking towards my car and then whole time I couldn't stop thinking about how much more special this trail was to me now.

This is where all of my doubts were confirmed. Bella wanted me just as bad as I wanted her.

She felt the same electricity current I felt when I touched her.

Bella had made out with me today… _and she was fucking good at it too!_

I now know that Bella wants me just as bad as I want her.

_Now I just had to get rid of the imbecile keeping us apart…_

**A/N: ok there you go! So… did we like this crazy Bella? So what happens now? Is Edward going to do something stupid? Let me know what you think by pressing the REVIEW button below these words… Thanks you guys are awesome!**


	16. Fly

**A/N: Ok… so here is the next chapter. Sorry it took so long but chemistry class was a pain in the rear end and I wanted to get it over with before I even kept on writing. Also guys how did y'all like Eclipse? I went to see it June 30 and that is how I celebrated my birthday… I was super excited and the whole day turned out to be a really great day!**

**Thank you to all of y'all who have added my story to your favorites and for those of you who have taken the time to review: I love you all!**

**Disclaimer: **All Twilight related characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer.

**Chapter Song: **Fly by Hillary Duff

**Fly**

Fly

Open up the part of you that wants to hide away

You can shine

Forget about the reasons why you can't in life

And start to try

Cause it's your time

Time to fly

**BPOV:**

"Did you hear what I just said?" He asked and I started trying to remember what he had just said but nothing was coming back to me.

"Yeah I heard you" I lied.

"Good baby. Remember that I love you and that I care about you." He said with a serious voice. _Jeez, don't have an aneurism asshole!_

"I know" I told him, not really paying attention to what he was saying.

"I want you to know that I trust you, but I don't trust other guys and I would kill any guy who thinks he can get near you just like that" he then said in a menacing voice.

_Well that put a damper on my good mood_. "James I know that, now can you please not start talking shit that I don't want to hear?" I asked him, feeling agitated with his threats.

"I'm just saying Bella. I don't want you to act all surprised if you ever cheat on me and the guy ends up dead" he said. _Ugh what a shithead!_

"Anyways… moving on" I told him, trying to deviate him from the subject.

"So what are you doing this weekend?" he asked calmly, like he hadn't just threatened to commit murder.

"Nothing I'm just going to do homework. I have a huge project to do for English and then I have homework for Algebra and Biology and I have a book to read for History" I told him. I wanted this call to end already.

"I don't understand why you're in college. All you do is homework, you never enjoy life" he answered bitterly.

I was tempted to say _Oh really James? So you want me to live off of you? Because I enjoy life with you right? No thank you I'm good!_

"Yeah well I like studying… remember I'm a nerd?" I told him.

"Yeah I guess" he said and then he stayed quiet.

"Well I'm going to let you go now because I have to go help my mom cook dinner" I told him crossing my finger hoping that he wouldn't elongate the conversation. _I was already running late!_

"Babe, can I ask you a question?" he said in a shy manner and I kind of had a clue where this was going.

"Yeah" I told him with a serious voice.

"Did I hurt you?" he said and I just took a deep breath. _End this call Bella… Come on!_

"No you didn't" I answered "Look I really don't want to talk about this. I'll talk to you tomorrow ok?" I told him. I was feeling frustrated and my heart beat was accelerating just thinking about it.

"Baby I just want you to know that I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It's just I got so mad and I didn't know how else to make you understand that I love you. I'm sorry baby" he said and a sweet, low, repentant voice.

_Shithead_!

"Yeah I understand James, don't worry about it" I told him. "Look I'll talk to you tomorrow ok, my mom is getting mad because I'm not downstairs to help her with dinner" I told him, trying to end the conversation as soon as possible.

"Ok baby, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Remember to behave ok? And I'll see you next weekend when I get back ok?" he said in a sickly, sweet voice.

"Yeah ok, well good night" I told him

"I love you baby" he said blowing me a kiss through the phone.

"Me too James, bye, bye." I said

"Say it baby" he whined.

"I love you too James" I answered in a robotic voice.

"Ok bye baby" _fuck doesn't he understand what 'bye' means?_

"Bye" I said one last time and with that I hung up the phone, then quickly got up and finished getting ready.

I was wearing a pair of tight skinny jeans and a black long sleeved V-neck blouse that fit tight to my body_. Tonight was definitely going to be a good night. _

As I was putting on a pair of thin-heel knee-high boots my phone beeped once and I went to look at it.

_**Ok I'm on my way Bells, you better be ready! **_

I finished doing my make-up, which was composed of smoky black shadows, thick mascara, heavy black eye liner, and clear lip gloss. _Oh I'm fucking working it tonight!_

I then grabbed my straightener and with it, I over did the curls in my long hair.

I took one last look at the mirror and loved what I saw. I then grabbed my red bag and started walking downstairs.

I had been on flyting high since yesterday afternoon and apparently not even James's nasty attitude could get me off of that plane.

**Flashback**:

_I was having such a bad day. _

_My body was aching the moment I had woken up and when I had gotten dressed that morning I had seen the product of James's beating. My torso was covered in bruises and my arms also had some bruises. My head was hurting from all the pulling that James had done to my hair._

_I took painkillers again and the rushed out of the house not wanting to see my mom. _

_On my way to school I was trying to figure out how I would distant myself from Edward. _

_I didn't want to though, and that was making my already bad mood, worse. _

_When I got to my first class I sat there and studied the situation closer._

_James had threatened to hurt my dad if I told anyone about what had happened and that was a risk that I wasn't willing to take. I would never forgive myself if I was the reason why he was hurt. _

_Did I find James capable of hurting my dad? Hell yes I did. I had known that previous to dating me, James had been involved with some bad people who definitely did not mind hurting and causing damage to other people. _

_James had also told me not to go to Alice's house. Well that house included Edward and now I wouldn't be able to go see him at his house. _

_That had been an amazing experience, to see him so relaxed and so comfortable… I had really enjoyed that. _

_I knew that if I wanted to stop getting closer to Edward I would have to stay away from him at school. We still had the English project together, and I wouldn't neglect that, but I would avoid any other type of communication with Edward. _

_I decided that being late to my classes would help my attempts to avoid talking to him and though I hated being late to class because when you're late everyone stares at you, it was working. Throughout the day, Edward had tried talking to me and saved me a seat so that I could sit next to him but I just ignored him. _

_I felt really shitty about it but it was something that I had to do. The constant physical pain that I was in reminded me of what James could do and I didn't want Edward to get hurt because of me. I would never let that happen. _

_At the end of the school day I ended up being a bitch to him and then I felt really bad about it. _

_In a way I was relieved that he would not be near me anymore and so now hiding the whole James situation would be easier but at the same time that distance was most likely going to kill me._

_I had really grown attached to him in the little time that we have known each other. It's almost like we're connected. Also, I don't think that the electricity I feel when I touch him can be ignored. _

_I ended up going to the park after I got home. I was still sore as hell and I was sure that it would take a while for the bruising to go away. As soon as I got there though, my body and my mind seemed to catch up with that horrible night and my horrible day. _

_I immediately threw myself on the floor and I leaned on the edge of the concrete table. I was drowning myself in tears and I couldn't help it. I still couldn't believe all that happened in less the 24 hours to me. I had gone from being so happy and relaxed, to being beat, sore, anxious, and devastated. _

_It was no surprise that when I heard someone called my name I was startled as hell and when I saw Edward there I was even more surprised and confused. _

_I asked him what he was doing there and instead he gave me his hand to take and I for once, accepted. Once we were sitting on the table we actually got to talking. _

_I was trying hard to ignore that electricity that was passing between us since he hadn't let go of my hand. Not that I wanted him to anyways. _

_Edward was being sweet and his presence calmed me down. When I looked at his face, I saw just how concerned he had been and I felt bad for being a bitch to him._

_I then felt worse for lying to him; or more like not telling him the complete truth but I knew I couldn't say anything. We talked and talked and his touch comforted me all the while. He confessed that he was also having a bad day and I immediately forgot about my pain and wanted to help HIM feel better. _

_I was freaking out because Edward seemed to be figuring out what was going on and I didn't want him to. It's just too dangerous. _

_I then told him that I wasn't ok but that I didn't want him to get hurt because I would never forgive myself but he returned the sentiment and told me he wouldn't forgive himself if something happened to me and that he wanted to help me but he needed my trust. _

_Trust. _

_Yeah I could definitely trust him._

_And that's what we did. He comforted me most of the time. I broke down and he wiped away my tears and made me laugh. He called me beautiful and I felt my heart tugging with pain because I wasn't used to hearing those words. _

_He really is wonderful._

_A couple of seconds later, everything was turned upside down and the fucking party started. _

_I have no clue what had gotten into me, but all of the sudden I started feeling really hot and really jittery when I saw Edward pulling off his hoodie. I just wanted… no more like needed Edward near me. _

_It must have been all the stress and all the mixed emotions I was feeling but all of the sudden I was being extremely courageous and I just wanted to be close to Edward. _

_I started my shameless flirting with him. I pushed him to the floor and that made him act. He then came up to me and kissed me. _

_His lips were warm and soft. They were juicy and inviting and his scent only drove me to do more and more. I wanted all of Edward in that second. _

_The closer I got to him, the closer I needed him to be. We kissed each other like there was no tomorrow and all I felt was peace, lust, desire, and I felt like I was being treated like a princess. _

_Every touch of Edward's hand was like a soft feather, caressing my skin. _

_I also got him to say how much he enjoyed kissing me… well more like touching me… _

_On my way back to the car all I could think about was Edward's lip and his strong arms all around me and I knew things had taken a whole different turn. But the catch was that this turn… well, it was more than welcomed to my life._

**-End of flashback -**

I was now downstairs and I was still thinking about Edward when my mom snapped me out of my daydreams.

"Bella, are you sure you're just going to the movies?" my mom asked me, looking at the way I was dressed up and down.

"Yes mom I'm just going to the movies, don't worry I won't be home so late I promise" I told her once more, not feeling guilty for lying at all.

"Do you have to go dressed so provocative" _hmm is that a trick question?_

"Mom don't exaggerate, this is not provocative, trust me, I've seen worse." I said to her to ease her nerves before she pops a vein.

"Uhuh, yeah right" she said not believing one word of it but giving up the fight. _Fuck yeah… world here I come!_

I was about to sit on the sofa to wait when a light knock stopped me. I ran to the door and with tons of excitement I opened the door.

"Oh my god girl, long time no see!" I said, hugging her and she did the same.

"I know right" she said and then we both burst into laughter.

My mom cleared her throat, wanting to say hi and to make sure I wasn't going to go out with some crazy person.

"Hi Mrs. Swan my name is Alice Cullen, how are you tonight?" Alice asked very politely while shaking my mom's hand.

"I'm good, but please call me Rene, it's a pleasure to meet you Alice" my mom said while shamelessly checking out her outfit.

"The pleasure is all mine" Alice responded, breaking my mom out of her ogling.

"Ok well mom we're leaving. Don't worry I'll be back soon ok?" I told my mom while looking at her. I was all jumpy and with loads of energy and I was trying my hardest to rein it all in.

"Ok girls, have a good night and be careful" My mom said.

We started walking out of the house but I quickly stopped, turned around and looked at my mom. "Hey mom if James calls tell him I'm asleep, I don't want him interrupting my movie." I told my mom again.

James would NOT ruin my night. Tonight was going to be all about having fun.

"Ok Bella I'll tell him you're sleeping, but you already know I don't like lying to him" my mom gave me a stern look.

"Yes mom I know. He shouldn't call but just in case tell him that ok?" I instructed her and then walked out towards Alice's car.

We got into the Audi and since I knew my mom was still watching I told her to start the car and drive.

Once we were out of my mom's view we both started laughing.

"Oh my god Bella you look so hot!" Alice said.

"Thanks you do too" I told her.

I hadn't dressed this way in almost three years. I had almost forgotten how much confidence being well dressed gave me.

"Ok so I have to ask, who the heck is James?" Alice asked me while she kept her eyes on the road.

"Oh that's my boyfriend" I told her in a low voice.

"Oh" she said.

"He's out of town, that's why I told my mom that" I told her, feeling the need to explain it to her.

"Oh, ok" Alice responded. And that was that. We didn't bring the topic back up again. Alice had music playing in her car and that helped. We were excited all over again.

"Ok so the boys are going to meet us at the restaurant in Port Angeles" Alice informed me and I couldn't wait to see Edward.

After a while of driving, we finally arrived at The Violet Hour, the extravagant restaurant in which I had never set foot before.

When we got there, Alice handed her keys to the valet guy and then we walked inside. I was amazed when I saw the glorious dance floor in the middle of the restaurant and everyone in there was dressed so nice.

Good call in getting dressed up Bella!

We were then escorted inside to the table where two gorgeous guys were sitting at.

"Bella this is Jasper, my boyfriend, and baby this is Bella" Alice said excitedly grabbing his hand across from him on the table.

He was good looking, with blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He gave me a courteous nod "Nice to meet you Bella" he said in a deep and calm voice.

But I could barely focus on him.

I was looking at Edward.

He was wearing a black button up shirt and jeans and his hair was all over the place, but looking amazing.

"Nice to meet you Jasper" I said so I wouldn't look so lost. "Hey Edward" I said sitting down on a chair across from him and next to Alice.

"Hello Bella" Edward looked a bit distracted though. Almost like he wasn't functioning right, and I was hoping it was because he liked the way I was dressed.

And that is how our night started. I had never been to an elaborate restaurant before and Alice made sure I was embarrassed enough about it. Edward then came to my defense and told me that he preferred the plain restaurants because you didn't have to do the whole 'dressing up and being proper shit.'

_His words not mine!_

That made me feel better and I also loved the fact that somehow, Edward's feet decided to play footsies with my boots.

We then ordered our food and chatted about school and other stuff.

The whole night I was feeling like I was flying still and I had no worries and no one was there telling me there were things I couldn't do in life. _Oh yeah life was good right now!_

Alice and Jasper were both talking about how their senior class needed volunteers for prom and all of their fund-raisers.

"Oh crap I had forgotten about that!" Edward blurted out, interrupting Jasper.

We all looked at him like he had grown a third eye "Edward what are you talking about?" Jasper asked him.

"I need to get community service hours and that would be the perfect way to do it" he explained.

He then looked at me "Would you like to do community service hours with me Bella?" he asked.

I didn't know what to say. I had things to think about. Well, more like I had James to think about. But then I started thinking about how James would be out of Forks a lot from now on and since most of the activities took place during the week, James would never find out.

"Yeah that would be cool, but I'm going to need a schedule with all the dates ahead of time so I can plan" I said looking at Jasper and Alice since they were in charge on the senior class prom project.

"Oh my god Bella you're awesome! That means you get to go to the prom!" Alice squealed.

_Say what?_

"Hmm what did you just say Alice?" I asked just to make sure I heard right.

"I said that you get to go to my prom, isn't that awesome?" Alice asked with a huge grin on her face.

_Hmm no… not awesome!_

I had gone to my prom because James had insisted on it even when he knew I didn't dance. But I knew he did it so he could flash me to the town as his possession and so that he could check the other girls out, so it goes without saying that I did not enjoy my prom at all… I even hated thinking about it.

"Yeah sure" I said in a sarcastic voice

"Why do you say it like that Bella?" Edward asked with true interest in his voice.

"Hmmm well because I don't… dance" I answered and I was sure I was blushing once again. I need to gain my confidence back.

"Oh we'll have to fix that" Alice said as if she were talking about something simple.

I laughed bitterly and she looked at me like I was crazy.

"I feel sorry for whomever tries to fix that Alice" I told her, still laughing and she just winked.

"We'll have to see about that" she said with a smile.

Our food arrived then and we started eating. _Man it was delicious! _

The whole night was spent on talking and joking around and teasing each other. I had never seen Edward laugh so much, not even when I was at his house with his parents.

After a while we ordered dessert and then Jasper took Alice out to dance. Alice was dressed similarly to how I was dressed except she was wearing higher heels than mine… _and she could handle them!_

I was looking at them and I was amazed at how well coordinated they both were. They completed each other's move and it was almost as if they could see what the other would do before they even did it.

"Wow, they're amazing dancers" I said aloud and since Edward was there, he heard me.

I was waiting for that moment of shyness to come around but it never came. I found it interesting that I was now very comfortable with Edward.

We hadn't talked about what had happened the day before but inside I was wondering if he thought anything of it. I thought of it as comfort and well… finally getting some courage to do something out of the ordinary, but I could only hope that it meant something to Edward.

"Yeah, they do know how to move" Edward said. I wasn't looking at him but I could feel him staring at me.

I got the nerve to look at him and his eyes were looking straight at me. He then gave me a knowing smile and winked. _And I'm totally done for now!_

"You're such a tease Cullen" I told him with a laugh to my voice.

He feigned shock and hurt "Me, a tease? I don't think I'm a tease Bella. I could say that out of the both of us, you win that trophy beautiful" he said burrowing into my eyes.

I laughed at that comment because so far I had been the one to mess with him so he was right.

"That's what you say now Edward, we shall see how you behave later." I told him.

"Well how about we start by fixing your little dancing problem?" Edward asked.

_Oh hell no!_

"What do you mean?" I asked with a panicked voice.

He looked at me and under the table his foot hooked onto my leg. "I'm asking you to dance with me, but I don't think it's optional. I think I'm making you dance with me" he said in a sexy voice with a sexy smirk on his face.

We danced to slow music and apparently I was now an expert at dancing.

As I was dancing with him I thought about my life at that moment.

I thought about how it was right there at that moment where I wanted to be.

I wanted to be laughing and having a good time and forgetting about the asshole of a boyfriend that I have.

After dinner was done, we headed to our real destination.

We went to Hush, a famous club in Port Angeles and we quickly got in. Apparently Jasper was a very influential person!

Edward quickly pulled me into the dance floor and I decided it was time to play games.

I decided that it was about time I stopped being that shy girl that I was due to James constant harassing. Tonight was my night to shine and I wanted the spotlight. I wanted Edward to see the girl that I used to be before that asshole stepped into my life.

I decided to tease him and the moment we started dancing. I was all about being sensual. I definitely knew how to do that.

He was grabbing my hips and had my hands on his shoulder. We were moving to the beat and he was looking at me in the eye. We were quiet but we would laugh when we saw some ridiculous dancer out on the dance floor, or when somebody was left hanging by some prissy girl.

Then I decided to step it up a notch and when a good song started playing, I turned myself around and started grinding against Edward.

Almost right away I could feel Edward's erection on my back and I was damn pleased for it. Then I felt him lean his head on my shoulder.

"Bella you are such a tease" he said on my ear.

I couldn't help but laugh. "See the thing is though… that, you're not complaining at all. Or are you?" I asked him, halting my movements.

He quickly pulled my ass closer to him and leaned over me

"Of course I'm not complaining beautiful. By the way, have I told you that you look fucking good tonight?" he asked me and I could literally feel my panties getting wet.

"No you haven't" I answered in a playful manner.

"Well you look good, how come you don't dress like this all the time?" he answered and then I remembered why.

It was because of James.

It was funny how even when I was having such a good time, James managed to ruin my good mood. Even when he was far away, it was just as if he was right there in front of me, mocking me, and telling me what I could and couldn't have.

Edward must have noticed my change in mood and quickly apologized.

"I'm sorry beautiful, I didn't mean to upset you" he told me.

"Don't worry about it Edward" I told him dismissively and then we kept on dancing.

After a while though, we wanted to get out of the club; we were tired of dancing.

"Hey how about we go to my house? My mom and dad went out to Seattle for the weekend; we could go and chill there." Alice asked us.

Edward agreed with her and so we were off to the Cullen's residence once again.

"Hmm Bella do you mind riding with Edward… I kind of have to talk to Jazz about something…" Alice said.

I looked at Edward who was holding my hand and he just smiled and nodded at me.

"No problem Alice" I told her and she just jumped and hugged me. "Great you're awesome, we'll see you guys at home" she said and then winked at Edward.

We headed to the parking lot and Edward opened the door to his BMW for me. I got in and buckled up. Edward then got in.

"What was that about?" I asked him.

"What was what?" he asked looking at me with innocent eyes.

"Alice just winked at you…" I trailed off.

"Hmm I don't know what you're talking about Beautiful" he said and I loved hearing that nickname he had placed on me.

"Huh… weird" I said being sarcastic about it.

Edward started driving but still grabbed my hand.

I decided to mess with him once again and moved our intertwined hands on top of my legs.

He remained quiet for a while, just humming to the music playing on his stereo but when he felt our hands moving up my thigh he looked at me and I had the pleasure of Edward looking flustered.

"Keep your eyes on the road Edward" I told him while squeezing his hand.

"Ugh you're driving me crazy Beautiful" he replied but kept his eyes on the road.

After a nice while of comfortable silence, he finally spoke.

"So did you enjoy dinner?" he asked

"Yeah I did, it was really good and it was such a nice place. Remind me to thank Alice for inviting me here" I told him.

After I had gotten home from the park the previous night, I did everything I had to do, including talking to James. When I was almost getting knocked out, I received a text message from Alice.

She was asking me if I wanted to hang out with her and her boyfriend… after insisting that I didn't want to be the third wheel she told me that Edward was going so of course I had accepted her invitation!

"So… Let's play 20 questions shall we?" Edward asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Hmmm how old are you again?" I teased him about but inside I was getting excited.

"Oh you know what I mean!" he said.

I just laughed out loud and conceded to play with him.

When we finally got to his house it was already around ten a clock and the house looked even more beautiful with the outside lights on and the moon reflecting on the glass

"Home sweet home" Edward sang as we were getting off the car. Apparently Alice was a much slower driver because she still wasn't home.

Edward led me in anyways. He turned the lights on as he walked and suddenly I thought that maybe Alice wasn't a slow driver… _damn pixie!_

"You're house is really beautiful Edward" I said so that I could fill the silence that had settled over us.

"Thank you Bella, my mom decorated it and well… not to brag or anything but she _is_ the best at what she does" he said with a smirk on his face that made him look not so innocent.

"I bet she is" I continued our little conversation.

After that we got quiet again and I was searching through my head for things to talk about but all common sense evaded me.

"So…." Edward said. We were still standing at the entrance of the house.

"Do you want something to drink Bella?" he finally asked.

I smiled at him and nodded.

He led me to the kitchen and he took out a pitcher from the fridge.

I stood in front of the fridge and he snaked around me in order to open it.

"Like raspberry ice tea?" he asked.

I was speechless as I saw how Edward looked so sexy even in a stinking kitchen… _so unfair!_

"Bella?" he said and I finally snapped out of my daydreams and looked at him.

He had a smirk plastered on his face and was holding a cup in his hand.

"Oh… yeah sorry I was thinking about something" I told him and I hoped he wouldn't notice my blush.

"Care to share?" he said with amusement on his voice as he moved around in the kitchen.

_Oh shit!_ "Hmm nothing important" I lied but I'm sure he saw through it.

I took the cup he handed me with ice tea in it and drank it all in one sip so that he couldn't see my face.

When I finished, I finally looked up at Edward and he was looking at me but he looked different. His eyes were darker but had a magical shine to them.

He then took a step towards me and I felt my heartbeat accelerate.

"So Bella…. Can you tell me something?" he asked with a smile on his face.

I took a step back and I noticed I was cornered in between the fridge and him. He took the cup from me and without looking he placed it on the counter behind him.

"What?" I asked, noticing that my breath was accelerated and that my heart was still trying to beat out of my chest.

He then pinned me against the fridge and placed his hands against the fridge, leaving me in between them. I looked at him in the eye and his face was set with an intense look and I could feel lust coursing through my body.

He's so fucking sexy!

He then leaned closer to me and placed his glorious lips on my neck. Holy shit!

I instinctively tilted my head to allow him to kiss me in a better angle.

He placed small peck on my neck and then he placed an open mouthed kiss right where my neck meets my shoulder. That elicited a moan from me and I could feel him smile against my neck.

"So, is that what you were thinking about?" his voice was deep and felt like velvet against my neck.

"Huh? Hmm I do… I don't know" I stammered and I'm sure I sounded like a retard that couldn't form a sentence but his breath on my neck did amazing things to me.

His left hand went down to my waist and his right hand cupped my chin while he moved his lips to the other side of my neck. "I asked if this is what you were thinking about beautiful?" he asked once again.

"Hmm" was all that managed to escape out of my lips.

"I love to hear you moan" he said in a raspy voice.

"I love that you love that" I answered in a daze. _I was totally in cloud nine!_

Suddenly I felt Edward's hands grab the back of my legs and the next thing I knew I had had my legs wrapped around his waist and his hands were on my hips and he was grinding against me.

I kissed his neck and softly sucked on it. A groan escaped his mouth and I was proud that I was the one having that effect on this gorgeous, caring, guy.

We were making out and I had my hands on his hair while our tongues were dancing together.

I felt his hands lift up my shirt and I worried that he would see the bruises that were still there from James's beating.

I grabbed his face with my hands and kept him on my neck.

He applied soft pressure on my torso as his hands traveled up my shirt but it hurt. I didn't want his to stop though… and desire won over.

His hands kept on going up and he was almost at the place where I wanted to feel his hands… my breasts.

My lips were taking up residence on his neck and so were his on mine. My hands were making his unruly hair even messier and we were both filled with lust and I felt like I was coming undone right there while being pinned to that fridge.

His hands were warm on my sore torso and when I finally felt his hands on my right breast a buzzing noise stopped us both.

I froze when I felt the refrigerator buzz against my back and I was trying to figure out what it was.

"It's your phone" Edward said while he was panting.

He let me down and I had a hard time standing up straight.

Edward held me by the waist and I pulled the phone out of my back pocket and looked at the caller ID.

_James _

I felt myself freeze and I couldn't breathe. I was thankful that Edward was holding me still because I'm sure I couldn't stand even if I wanted to right now.

"Who is it?" Edward asked and I finally looked at him.

He looked concerned and somewhat scared at the same time.

I swallowed hard and took his hands from my waist and placed them by his side.

The phone was still vibrating in my hand.

I looked at Edward straight in the eye.

"It's my boyfriend"

**A/N: so how did you guys like that? What do you think will happen with that phone call? And for those of you who can't wait for someone to find out about James… hopefully next chapter will do just that for you! Don't' forget to leave your thoughts at the end of this chapter!**

**As usual I'd like to recommend an amazing story to y'all guys: **

**Unexpectedly by edieswan: it's a story about an older Edward and a much younger Bella falling in love…. It's awesome and can't wait for you guys to read it. **


	17. The Only Exception

**A/N: Ok so thanks to all of you who wished me a happy belated birthday… I luv you all! And also thanks for believing in this story; it means so much to me. Thanks for reading and reviewing. **

**Now get ready because this chapter is long and is filled with ups and downs… hope y'all like it!**

**Disclaimer: **All Twilight related characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer, I only dream of seeing Edward with nerdy glasses.

**Chapter Song**: The Only Exception by Paramore (one of my favorite bands ever!)

**Reality**

**I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't**

**Let go of what's in front of me here**

**I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up**

**Leave me with some kind of proof is not a dream**

**You are the only exception**

**Edward**

"_It's my boyfriend" _

Those words pulsated in my head about a thousand times in mere seconds.

_Everything happened so fast…_

I was enjoying my night with Jasper, Alice, and Bella. She looked so beautiful and dare I say… sexy? Yeah she was sexy. This Bella had me completely enthralled and trapped in her hands. I had definitely enjoyed seeing her so happy, laughing while Jasper and Alice joked back and forth. I thought of how much she deserves to laugh and I, for once, was happy too.

_Everything happened so fast…_

I was giving Bella something to drink and next thing I know I had her pinned against the fridge and my hand was grazing her breast when the buzz of her cell phone against the fridge abruptly stopped us.

Bella was still looking at me straight in the eye and I hope she didn't see the anger rising up in me.

I wasn't angry with her.

I was angry with myself.

The phone ultimately stopped buzzing and that seemed to make us both snap out of our daze.

"Edward I should've said…" the phone starting buzzing once again, interrupting her explanation.

I looked out to the patio through the crystal wall in our kitchen and took a deep breath.

"Why don't you step out to the patio and take the phone call there" I told Bella without looking at her.

_I can't believe this shit is happening right now!_

She didn't say anything as she starting walking out to the patio. She didn't even look at me.

I stayed right where I was and just looked out the window.

So I guess now she would have to come clean about him.

I hoped that the asshole didn't give her any problems for not picking up the phone.

I moved around in the kitchen trying to busy myself while I waited for Bella to come back inside.

I would look at her every now and then but I guess she caught on to it because now she had her back turned toward me.

My thoughts were all a ball of confusion. I didn't know what to think. _How could I have let this happen? How could I do this to her? _

I don't know how long I waited for her in the kitchen but Alice and Jasper got home and when Alice walked into the kitchen and saw me there, her face fell from her usual grin into worry.

"What's wrong Edward?" she asked looking at me and then looking out to where Bella was in the patio.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked in return.

"He's in the living room. Edward what's going on, why is Bella outside?" Alice asked once again with worry dripping from her every word.

I leaned on one of the kitchen counters and once again breathed in. "She's talking to her boyfriend" I told Alice in a quiet voice.

"Aww Edward, don't let that get to you!" Alice told me.

Apparently she didn't understand.

"Alice you don't get it, do you? That asshole controls her and what the hell am I doing? I'm trying to win over a girl that has a boyfriend! Do you know how foolish that feels? And what can I possibly give that beautiful girl when I can't even stand up for her Alice? I'm just repeating the same story all over again!" I ranted with a high voice.

_I'm losing my cool._

"She needs you Edward, and you know it. You know it, or otherwise you wouldn't be here right now" Alice said looking down at the counter.

We both then looked out the window to see Bella's hands flying out in the air in anger. _She was arguing with him._

I heard Alice take a deep breath and then she started walking out to the patio.

When Bella noticed her she stopped and then looked back in at the kitchen and saw me standing there.

Her eyes seemed empty and I felt the air getting stuck before it even reached my lungs.

She then turned back around with her back facing me.

I wasn't going to stand here and witness the fruits of my egocentricity and carelessness.

I walked out of the kitchen and went to the living room to find Jasper.

"Hey Edward" Jasper said in a cheery mood. He was sitting in the sofa, flipping through the channels in the TV.

"Hey" was all I managed to say.

He looked at me then, and a frown marred his face. "Is everything ok?" he asked.

"Yup, everything is great" I answered in a sarcastic voice.

He gave me a weird expression and then shrugged it off.

"You know you can talk to me about whatever man" he said without looking at me.

"Thanks" I replied.

We sat there in silence staring at the TV for a while until Jasper spoke again.

"Where's Alice?" he asked in a quiet voice. I know that he was also trying to ask where Bella was at but he probably knew that was the reason why I was in a pissy mood and why Alice wasn't in the room.

"She's out in the patio with Bella" I answered his question.

"Oh" was all he said.

We continued watching TV and a while later Alice entered the living room pulling Bella by the hand.

Bella had reddish eyes as if she had been crying. She avoided my gaze and sat next to Alice in the sofa.

"So… who wants to watch a movie?" Alice asked.

I was too busy to see who responded. I was trying to figure out Bella's expression.

But Bella kept on avoiding my gaze. She didn't look at me once.

After a while I looked back at the screen and noticed we were watching a comedy.

I wasn't really interested in the movie but then I heard Bella giggle in a funny part and I quickly looked at her.

She was looking at the TV but I guess she felt me burning a hole in her face so she turned to look at me.

Our eyes connected, she gave me an apologetic smile and then turned back to the TV.

_Well I guess that was all I was getting from her today._

I was getting more and more pissed off by the minute so I got up to go to the kitchen.

"Does anyone want anything to drink?" I asked not looking at anyone in particular.

"Oh I do!" Alice and Jasper both said quickly.

"I'll help you" Bella said and started getting up from the sofa.

"That's not necessary" I replied in a dead tone.

_Why am I acting like a jackass with her?_

"I'll help nonetheless" she answered and kept on moving towards me.

We walked towards the kitchen in silence and I hope she didn't think I was going to be the one to break it.

I had nothing to say to her.

I opened the fridge and started taking out the pitcher of raspberry ice tea and she was getting cups from the cupboards.

She placed them on the counter and I started pouring the drinks for everyone.

"I like the movie we're watching" Bella said.

I looked at her and she was looking down at the drinks.

"Yeah I guess" I answered in a much more nicely tone.

We were both quiet again and I felt that it was my turn to make amends.

"I hope you're having a good time" I told her with a smile on my face. _Hopefully she didn't see that I was faking it._

"I am. I needed a distraction and you guys are great friends" Bella replied.

_Friends_?

I fought hard not to laugh out loud.

_Oh my fucking gosh you have got to be fucking joking with me right now!_

"Yeah I suppose" I managed to say out loud.

We were both quiet and I was about to walk out of the kitchen with the drinks when she stopped me by putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Edward?" she said in a shy voice.

I turned around and looked at her and she was looking at me and I saw determination in her eyes.

"Yes Bella?" I asked trying to be polite.

"Can you come outside with me, I want to talk to you?" she asked with the same determination soaking through her voice.

I felt my heart beat fast and I immediately wanted to run from the room.

I didn't want to lose Bella.

She wasn't mine to claim but I didn't want her to pull away from me.

I couldn't stand there and imagine myself being away from her.

I tried to make my time last longer.

"Can we talk after the movie? I really like this one" I presented my lame excuse looking at her.

She gave me a sweet smile that made my heart do a double beat and then nodded.

She then grabbed two of the cups and started walking towards the living room.

I took a deep breath and started walking behind her, trying to ignore how good she looked today.

Memories of tonight starting flashing through me and I had to take a sip of my ice tea to snap myself back to reality.

Bella had already given Jasper and Alice both their cups and then she was waiting for me to give her the extra cup of ice tea that I had with me.

She looked at me and smiled again.

"Mind if I sit with you?" she asked in a low voice.

I knew that this was only going to add more to the stabbing pain I was sure to feel later but I just nodded.

The closer I was to her, the happier I was at the moment.

She sat next to me and then we started watching the movie.

A couple of minutes later she was leaning against me with her head on my shoulder and my arm around her tight.

Everything felt so right at the moment.

No one said anything about our sitting arrangement and I was on cloud nine, feeling Bella's body next to mine.

But of course all good things come to an end, and life is a bitch!

The movie ended and then Jasper started getting up

"Well I'm going to get home already" he said looking at Alice.

"Awww baby I already miss you!" Alice said back to him while hugging him.

I turned around to give them privacy.

He is my friend but I don't need to see him making out with my sister. _That's just… disturbing_!

I looked at Bella and she had a smile on her face.

"What's so funny?" I asked her, making her jump from where she was sitting.

"Oh nothing… they're just a cute couple" Bella said looking at Jasper and Alice.

"Yeah they are" I simply replied.

"Do you have a girlfriend Edward?" she asked.

That question snapped me back to reality once again. "No I don't" I told her in a low voice, praying that she didn't see the pain that I was feeling reflected in my eyes.

"Oh" was all she said and then she went back to looking at the couple in front of us.

She broke the silence between us once again. "Can we go out to the patio to talk" she said looking at me once again.

I nodded and tried to get my heart rate to go down but it didn't seem to be cooperating.

We both got up and she led the way to the patio outside the kitchen.

Once we were outside she sat on one of the many chairs in the patio.

I sat in the one in front of her.

She looked at me and smiled.

"I hope you don't mind me spending the night? Alice invited me for a sleepover and cleared it with your parents" she said.

That surprised me

"Alice didn't mention it" I mumbled.

"That's because we barely made the plans a couple of hours ago" she replied.

"Oh" was my clever answer.

"So do you mind?" she asked once again.

"Oh, of course I don't. No I don't" I told her, though right now I wasn't sure how I felt about having Bella sleeping across from my room. I guess it all depended on how our little talk went right now.

Fucking silence settled upon us again and I saw this as my chance to say what I needed to say.

"Bella I'm sorry for putting you in this situation. I really should have known that you had a boyfriend before doing the things I did" I started.

"But you didn't know" Bella countered.

"Yeah I did, and I still didn't care" I confessed.

She looked at me with surprised eyes. _Oh what the fuck? Just tell her the truth Cullen!_

"The first time I ever saw you I heard you talking to him on the phone and the day I saw you at the movies you were with a guy whom I assumed is your boyfriend?" I looked at her waiting for her to respond.

She nodded. "In that case then I'm also to blame. I could have told you to stop but I didn't" she said.

"I'm the one who insisted on getting closer to you" I refuted once again.

"And I liked that you did that" she said and with that she looked at me straight in the eye.

In her eyes I saw things I had seen before in Tanya.

I saw pain, despair, hurt. I saw scars of things that I could never think of doing to a girl, much less a girlfriend. My heart was breaking for this beautiful girl in front of me.

"Edward, you are the only person in a very long time, and I mean a super long time, to really take the time to listen to what I say when you ask 'how I'm doing'. You don't do it just to be polite. You really are interested in my response. You have no idea how good it feels to know that what I have to say matters!" she said and I could hear her voice breaking and her eyes getting watery.

"Bella I can't do this to you. I can't just pretend to be your friend. I can't pretend to care for you but only enough to be your friend. I can't and I won't make you choose. I would never do that to you." I answered in a defeated voice.

"Edward I don't want to lose this." She said signaling between her and I.

"I don't want to lose you" she said and I saw a tear rolling down her cheek.

I immediately leaned toward her and wiped the tear away with my hand and when I touched her I felt the ever-present electricity that coursed through me every time I touched her.

_This was going to hurt like a bitch._

"Me neither but I'm also a realistic person and I don't want to put you in this situation" I told her with a firm voice.

I would never make Bella choose between me and him. He would hurt her and I could not live with that on my conscience… again.

I would not be the reason why she had to go through the same things that Tanya did.

"Please" she pleaded. My heart was disintegrating just by hearing her voice.

"I don't want to put you in danger Bella" I explained. "I will not make you choose, when the results of that decision could have a disastrous effect in your life."

"Isn't that my decision to make?" she asked with indignation in her voice.

She wasn't denying the truth. That asshole was abusive with her.

I silently prayed once again that she wasn't getting physically or sexually abused.

I could feel my blood boiling just by thinking about it.

"Yeah it is… but I won't be the one responsible for you getting hurt" I responded.

She stayed quiet and I took that as her agreement to what I was saying.

"Good night Bella, sweet dreams." I said and then I got up to walk away.

"Edward" she called to me once again.

I turned around to look at her and I saw the tears on her face.

_I put those fucking tears there. I am such a dick!_

I looked at her in the eye and what she saw there must have made her changed her mind. She shook her head and looked down.

"Good night" she said.

I said goodnight and with that I walked away from her.

When I was walking towards the stair I found Alice coming back into the house.

"Where's Bella?" she asked, not paying much attention to me.

"She's outside in the patio" I replied and kept walking towards my room.

"Edward what's wrong" Alice called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Good night Alice" I answered and then entered my room.

I had a bottle of Jack and a bunch of painful memories waiting for me in my closet.

**Bella**

"Bella what's wrong with Edward?" Alice came into the patio and then she stopped when she saw my face covered in tears.

"Bella honey what's wrong?" Alice said kneeling down in front of me.

"Alice I'm still trying to process how this night went from being so great to ending by me hurting your brother" I answered honestly.

"Oh Bella" she said and hugged me.

Once again I felt the pain in my torso and arms but ignored it. The pain in my heart was ten times worse than the physical pain.

"Let's go to my room, we'll talk there" Alice said.

We both got up and went into the kitchen. Alice poured us both another cup of ice tea and we drank it. I then helped her to wash all the cups we had used during the night.

We were both quiet and I took that time to calm myself down.

The tears had stopped but the pain was still there.

I wish there was a way to just forget about all the painful things that happened tonight and just leave the good ones. _If only I had the power to do so. _

After we finished Alice went to the fridge and pulled out two small tubs of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream.

"Pick one" she said showing me a small tub of homemade vanilla ice cream and one of strawberry ice cream.

"Alice you're my hero" I told her grabbing the vanilla ice cream.

"I know, I know" Alice said in a playful voice while fetching spoons for the both of us.

"Now follow me" she said and we went upstairs to her room.

Once again I was impressed to see how beautiful Alice's room was. It was decorated with matching pieces and vivacious colors.

"You're room is very pretty Alice" I told her.

"Thank you ma'am" she responded.

We sat on the little bean bags scattered around her room and we started eating ice cream.

"So… where do you want to start?" Alice asked.

"Well you're not one to wait" I said with sarcasm in my voice while enjoying my ice cream.

Alice laughed out loud and moaned when she swallowed a bit of her strawberry ice cream.

"Oh thank God for ice cream" she added which made me laugh.

"You're funny" I told her.

"Glad to know I amuse you" she retorted.

"Fine I'll start with the phone call from tonight when you found me in the patio" I told her getting to the point.

"Ok" Alice said turning serious. It was a look that still made her look cute. She was such a happy girl that I bet her serious look didn't make an appearance often.

"That was James. He's my boyfriend" I told her looking at her trying to gauge out her reaction.

"I'm guessing he was upset?" she asked looking at me

I laughed when she said that. "To say that he was upset is an understatement" I told her.

"What happened?" she asked with a frown on her face.

I took a deep breath and got ready to tell her my story.

"I'm going to need a box of tissue" I told her.

She laughed but fetched one anyways. _Smart Alice_. I'm sure she didn't want me to drown her pretty room with my tears.

"I met James at church when I was sixteen" I started. Alice was giving me her undivided attention and I appreciated it but at the same time I was nervous. _Would I tell her everything?_

"Bella I promise this stays in this room" she said. It was as if she saw what I would tell her next.

"Thanks Alice"

"That's what friends are for" she replied with a smile.

"Well to skip over that part, I was head over heels for him and he came and talked to my parents and asked them if we could date. My parents are very strict but I guess they saw the church boy who went to school, and got along with everybody so they agreed.

"We started dating and everything was all fun and games. He would take me out to eat; we would go out to the movies or to other places like that. We were a regular couple. He was really romantic and he would buy me flowers every week. He always told me that he loved the way I was, the way I dressed, and how smart I was. "

Alice was nodding and listening carefully to everything I said.

"A couple of weeks after we started dating we talked about sex. I told him it wasn't something I wanted. Not just because I was a church girl who was trying to be all holy, but because I didn't feel like I was ready for it. I also didn't want to disappoint my parents. They both had told me that they trusted me to act like a respectable lady and to make sure that I waited until I was married.

"James said that he didn't mind and that sex wasn't what he was looking for. That made me happy and made me want to actually do nice things for him. Every now and then he would tell me how sexy he thought I was and how desirable I was. I had never heard those things from anybody so it goes without saying that I was flattered.

"He then started asking me for picture of me with little clothing…"

I'm sure I was red right now.

"Alice this is embarrassing" I told her.

She looked at me with a sympathetic look. "Bella is ok, I won't judge you, I promise" Alice responded.

I took a deep breath and continued.

"I accepted and sent him those pictures thinking that it would all stop there. But it didn't. He then started asking for more. At first he would be ok when I said no but then we started arguing. He turned into a jealous boyfriend so when I told him I didn't want to have sex he immediately assumed that it was because I was cheating on him.

"After the fights he would apologize and tell me that he was sorry and then we were good again. But then he started trying to control everything about me. When I was a Junior I was the president of a club for students who want to become teachers and I was also a member of the National Honor Society. Those things required for me to stay after school but James said I couldn't. When I got mad about it he would just tell me that it was because he wanted to spend more time with me. I took that bait and believed him so I resigned my place as the president and quitted NHS."

I could feel the tears running down my cheeks as I told Alice everything that I had bottled up inside.

"Then he told me he didn't like the way I was dressing to go to school and soon that turned into how I dressed, period. Then he told me he didn't like the people I talked to. Then he had a problem with me talking to anyone who was a male whether it was a fifty year old man or a three year old kid. He didn't like it and I didn't like arguing with him so I agreed to everything.

"The only thing in which I wouldn't budge was about the sex. We fought about it for almost a year and finally after a year and a half of dating he threw a fit. He told me he was sick of waiting and that if I really loved him I would do it. I had never had sex so the thought of it scared me but James has a way with words and he somehow made me feel sexy and that always helped his case.

"I was curious but still would say no to him. I was too scared to disappoint my parents, specially my dad. I didn't want to hurt him" I sobbed.

"Did you have sex with him Bella?" Alice asked quietly.

Without looking at her I nodded. I grabbed tissues and started wiping my tears.

"I did. He turned out to be an asshole about it. Right after he was done, he took off with the excuse that my parents would get home. I knew he was right but it still hurt my feelings that he wasn't even a bit sweet about it. Stupid me… I should've known right?" I asked looking at Alice.

She had tears in her eyes.

"Oh Bella there was no way you could have known." She said throwing her arms around me and hugging me. I sobbed into her shoulders but she didn't care. She patted my back and I was glad to have her and to finally tell somebody all about James.

"Things didn't get better after that. Instead they got worse" I continued.

"James got even more jealous and more controlling. And that is where I stand now. The only times I can dress without t-shirts is when I'm with him. The only people I talk to are my parents and him. I don't have any friends. The reason why I'm not in the university I got accepted to is because he made me turn down a scholarship I had received to attend it. I can't go out without him knowing where I'm going. He doesn't know I'm here tonight. And he thinks that my English project in which I'm assigned to work with Edward, is with a girl named Alice. When he found out I was here the other day he was livid and that was the reason why I had to go in such a rush. He got a job in Seattle and he only comes home during the weekends so that's why I've been dressing differently and hanging out with you. He doesn't know I talk to you or to Edward. As a matter of fact I'm sure if he found out I was lying to him, he would do everything but kill me."

That comment stopped Alice's breathing. "Bella… has he hit you before?" she asked me in a low voice.

James words came to me in a flashback: _"Well I'm sure that you won't mention what happened tonight to anybody otherwise dear daddy would pay the consequences of that mistake."_

I couldn't do that to my dad so I lied.

"No Alice… he's never hit me before" I told her. I saw tears rolling down Alice's cheeks and I handed her some tissues.

"Bella how can you look ok when you are living in hell? I would never be able to pull that off. You seem fine and I don't think anybody suspects anything like this. I know I didn't" she said while wiping away her own tears.

"Alice you have no idea how stuff like that will slowly kill you. I've been dead while still breathing all this time. I lost everything I had and yet, I've felt nothing. I don't think all the pain has caught up to me yet. It's almost like I'm in shock. This is the first time I tell all this to anybody" I said looking at her.

"Well thank you for trusting me Bella. I promise that this will not leave this room." she said quietly.

We were both quiet and then she spoke again.

"Can I ask you something?"

I nodded and she seemed to think about it for a minute. "How come you won't leave him?" she asked.

I wanted to tell her why but I couldn't. James would hurt my dad if anyone found out.

"I just can't Alice" I opted to not give her a specific reason.

She nodded and then looked away for a second.

"So what happened with my brother?" she asked.

I didn't know what had happened with Edward. I myself still can't comprehend what just happened.

"I don't know Alice. I care about him and I think he is one of the most amazing persons I have ever met. Somehow I feel that he understands my pain. He understands what is like to be broken like I am. He knows what is like to be so far away from reality but still be living in it. He knows what is like not being able to let go of the good times because you're scared you'll disappear if you do. He understands Alice." I responded. Tears were making their appearance once again and I grabbed another tissue to wipe them away.

"Yeah he does Bella. Edward has been broken for some time now. He also knows what is like to suffer. He's been through too much if you ask me. No one deserves to suffer as much as he has. But Bella I can see the impact you've made on him." she said looking at me.

That confused me.

"What do you mean Alice? What happened to Edward?" I asked, forgetting about my own pain and worrying about his.

"Bella I really can't tell you much. He should be the one to tell you since it is very personal, but somehow he ended up losing someone who was very important to him and that made him die right before our eyes. He hasn't smiled in so long and now that you're in his life, he smiles all the time. Bella you guys can help each other. You can save each other." Alice said in a low but serious voice.

"Alice I can't leave James and I won't do that to Edward" I told her in a sad voice. I wanted to help Edward. I wanted to be the one to take away his sadness, I wanted to save him.

"Bella I'm sure my brother would understand if you explained things to him." she said.

I thought about it.

"Maybe he would, but where does that leave us Alice? He just told me that he doesn't want to be just my friend. He told me he can't do that. He wants to be more than that. What am I supposed to do about that?"

"Like I said, I'm sure he would understand" Alice concluded.

Maybe Alice was right. Maybe if I explained things to Edward he would understand. _But I couldn't tell him about James's threat could I?_

I thought about what Edward had told me when I saw him at the park:

_We want you to be happy. So please, don't turn away and don't refuse our help"_

I reached for my phone and texted Edward.

**Don't turn away and refuse my help – B.**

Alice was looking at me like I grew a third eye.

"What?" I asked her.

"Bella you have the biggest smile I've ever seen in my life posted in your face right now. Who are you texting?" she asked looking at me weird.

I laughed and responded. "Your brother."

"Oh my god, what did you tell him?" she asked getting exited.

I smiled "I took your advice Alice that's all." I told her.

She threw herself at me and hugged me. "Oh my god I'm so happy for you, and trust me you've changed Edward already and even if he won't admit it, he already loves you."

_He what?_ That thought scared the crap out of me. Edward… _love_? Those two words blended so well together but scared me at the same time. I still had James to worry about and it wasn't like I could get rid of him easily.

And what if Edward didn't want anything to do with me? I had lied to him after all! What if he didn't want all this drama in his life?

While I was lost in all of my musings I noticed Alice texting furiously.

"Who are you texting?" I asked her.

Her head snapped up and she gave me a wide grin that almost stretched from ear to ear.

"Hmmm Jasper?" she said.

I didn't believe her for a second. _She was texting Edward! _

"Alice you better not be texting Edward" I threatened.

"But why?" she cried to me

"Oh my god you are texting him! Because Alice… he's going to know we're talking about him!" I told her trying to take the cell phone from her hands.

"Oh don't get your panties in a bunch! Nothing's going to happen!" she said while avoiding my hands.

I decided to take action and texted Edward once again.

**Don't believe anything Alice says. She's lying! – B**

After laughing a bit with Alice she then proceeded to make me change into a ridiculously short pajama shorts and a tank top since I didn't have any clothes with me. I kindly refused the tank top and asked for a sweatshirt since I didn't want to put the bruises on display for her to see.

I hadn't heard from Edward but I was hoping that I did in the morning.

I was risking it and putting it all on the line and hopefully the results were what I expected them to be.

Before we went to bed I asked Alice to lead me to the rest room so I could wash my face.

She then left me to myself muttering something about phoning Jasper and telling him good night.

When I was done washing my tear streaked face, I walked out of the rest room and while I was switching off the light I smacked into someone.

I got scared and was about to yell when a smooth voice stopped me from doing so.

"Bella are you alright?" Edward asked.

I couldn't see him in front of me because it was dark but I could feel him and thank God it was dark because I'm sure right at this moment my cheeks must be tomato red.

I was touching Edward's chest. As in… he wasn't wearing a shirt!

_Holy fucking shit! He wasn't wearing a shirt!_

I could feel muscles where I was touching and then when the gasps leaving my mouth reached his body I realized that I wasn't just touching his chest… I had my hands right on his now perky nipples.

_Could this get any better than this?_

"Bella?" he asked once again. _Oh shit was I daydreaming for a while?_

"Huh?" I intelligently asked.

I felt one of his hands grab onto my hands on his chest and pressed against them. Then the lights went on.

_And it could so get fucking better. _

Edward was in plaid pajama bottoms and without a shirt and he was wearing his fucking glasses.

_Somebody please tell me if I've died and gone to heaven!_

He looked at me straight in the eye and I saw a hint of amusement in them.

"Feeling touchy aren't we?" he asked. I then looked at his chest and noticed that he had released my hands.

"Oh shit! I mean, sorry, crap… sorry Edward" I mumbled forcing myself to take my hands off of him.

He just laughed and I'm sure I was turning redder by the second.

"Why are you laughing Cullen?" I asked avoiding his gaze.

"Because you're adorable Isabella" he replied.

_I am?_

"Don't call me that!" I whined instead

"I'm sorry Ms. Swan" he said grabbing my hands "But I think I like your hands here" he said placing my hands against his chest once again.

_What?_

"You aren't mad?" I asked.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead. I could feel the electricity coursing through me.

"I was never mad at you beautiful" he said. "I was mad at myself for letting things get so far without even asking you if it was alright" he said looking at me seriously.

"Well I wasn't necessarily complaining was I?" I asked him while moving my hands around his chest.

He closed his eyes and breathed in.

"No you weren't. Good point made Ms. Swan" he said and leaned down and kissed my lips.

I immediately responded to the kiss by moving one of my hands to his hair while the other one explored his chest.

The kiss was deep and slow and passionate and I could feel myself catching on fire.

_This boy is too hot for his own good!_

"What does this mean?" I asked when we came out for air.

He kissed my forehead once again and grabbed my hands with his own.

"It means that I'll take whatever you can give me Bella" he said looking at me in the eye while caressing my back with his hands.

"I'll take what you give me and I won't pressure you into anything. We can go at your pace and as long as we're there for each other I don't care about the rest" he said.

This declaration of his scared me a bit though.

"But what about James?" I asked.

"What about him?" he asked. "Do you love him Bella?" he asked me once again looking straight into my eyes.

"Hell no I don't!" I quickly replied.

"Ok then, then I do _not_ give a fuck about him" he said with a big smile in his face.

"This seems too good to be true" I said while I kissed his chest.

"Then get used to it beautiful" he said.

He then picked me up and sat me in the counter in the restroom. He looked at me and placed both of his hands on my face.

"I'll never turn away from you beautiful" he said and his words made me melt!

I reached up to him and kissed him. I felt him get closer to me and we were making out like two crazy teenagers who had barely discovered the use of their tongues. We didn't come up for air until we heard someone clearing their throat.

"I leave her alone for five minutes and you are already putting your tongue down the poor girl's mouth!" Alice exclaimed feigning disgust.

"I swear you are corrupting my sweet and innocent mind!" she said rubbing her eyes.

"Right!" both Edward and I said sarcastically at the same time.

Alice just gasped and then started laughing.

After I said my goodnight to Edward, Alice and I went into her room and laughed and gushed like regular girls without a worry in the world.

James was still there but he no longer controlled all of my thoughts. He might control my actions but not my thoughts.

As long as Edward was there I could care less about what James said.

He just wasn't important anymore.

My reality had just changed from a harsh one to a much colorful one, almost like it was a dream. But I knew this wasn't a dream.

This was now my reality.

**A/N: So she finally told someone the truth… sort of? This is a major turning point don't you think? So did you guys see this coming or no? Since this is my first fanfic I want to know how I'm doing? So give me your thoughts in the matter…Thanks!**


	18. Internal Wars

**A/N: **guys I am so sorry for taking so darn long to update but having a family member with cancer and another one just having heart surgery, well… it takes its toll on you. But here's a new chapter… hopefully you guys enjoy it. Thanks.

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight characters; I just borrow them for your entertainment.

**Chapter song: **Come Back When You Can by Barcelona

**Internal Wars**

Please take your time

But you've got to know that I am taking sight

Oh, you look good with your patient face and wandering eye

Don't hold this war inside

Oh, come back when you get

Let go you'll understand

You've done nothing at all to make me love you less

Oh, so come back when you can

Come back I'll help you stand

Let go and hold my hand

If all you wanted was me, then I'll give you nothing less

So come back when you can

**EPOV:**

"Ok so what do you think about this one? I asked her. She was lying down across my bedroom floor, looking down at her paper and she couldn't look more beautiful if she tried.

She placed her pen against her lips and starting hitting it softly against them. "Hmmm…" ok I take that back. She _can_ look more beautiful.

"Come on Swan! Share your thoughts would you?" I tease her.

"Ugh fine! I like this one, but at the same time it's sad and infuriating. I can't believe her dad was so selfish. The girl was so innocent and beautiful but turns out to be anything but, because of her stupid, greedy, selfish dad" she argued.

"Well I think that's the point, don't you? It shows how far greed will make a person go. How they will hurt anyone just to receive recognition. Then, adding two lovers to the story makes it more relatable to everyday people." I debate back.

Bella looks at me with a smile and I wonder what she's thinking.

"Wow, I'm impressed Mr. Cullen. You should really think about a career in law. They could use someone who's really good at arguing" she laughed.

We were working on our story for the next Tuesday. This one was titled "Rappaccini's Daughter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne and it was a fairly good story. A little confusing to start with but intriguing at the same time. Plus I was in the same room as Bella and that made it a thousand times more interesting.

"Shut up you're making me blush and that's usually your job Ms. Swan" I feign embarrassment. "Plus I'm undecided remember?" I ask her.

Her face gets a bit serious and as she looks at me. "How come you haven't decided yet?" she asks_. Well there goes our good mood._

"Hmm… I don't really plan on choosing a career, or graduating from college for that matter. I'm taking classes to make my mom and dad happy but that's all" I told her honestly.

I saw her eyes widen in surprise. "But you're so smart, that would be such a waste of knowledge Edward" she tells me with a frown flashing across her face.

"It's complicated Bella" I answered. I was hoping that she didn't push it because I wasn't ready to explain all the Tanya shit to Bella yet. _I don't want her to run away._

Right as I said that, her phone went off. She looked at the screen and sighed.

"Yeah I understand complicated" she said in a soft voice, not looking up. She started getting up and walked out of the room.

I sighed. _Asshole_.

It's been two months since Bella and I decided to proceed with whatever it was that we were doing. Essentially we could say we were hiding being boyfriend and girlfriend, although those words were never said out loud.

In the past two months I had gotten to know a lot more about Bella and who she was. I knew her favorite things and she knew mine. We had a lot of similar tastes in literature and music, which was really weird sometimes.

I also knew a lot about her parents and knew about their strict beliefs and ways of raising Bella. I was surprised that Bella was so different from them. She was her own person.

Bella also knew about me a lot. She knew about my life in California and my mom had showered her with embarrassing moments about my life since I was a kid.

Bella's friendship with Alice was growing fonder by the minute. Alice was always barging into my room just to whisk Bella away from me when she was here… which sadly, was not as often as I wanted.

Bella had to plan carefully when and how she walked out of her house, since apparently her parents would not agree with her being friend with a male. I'm thinking this has more to do with that asshole than with her parents but I won't tell her that. I don't want to push the truth out of her. That would be selfish of me, especially when I can't seem to be able to share mine.

If I told Bella the truth I am one hundred percent sure that she would just walk away and I wouldn't blame her. I was the reason why my girlfriend died and whether I owned up to that or not didn't matter… Tanya was dead and that wasn't going to change. I could have helped her… but I didn't. _Yeah, the truth is a bitch. _

A couple of minutes later Bella walked back into the room with a frown on her face.

"Hey what's wrong?" I asked her, though I'm sure I knew the answer to that question.

"Nothing, I don't want to talk about it" she said and then started gathering her stuff from the floor.

"Are you leaving?" I asked, still looking at her face. What's wrong?

"Yeah I have to get going… he's coming home" she said the last part quietly.

"Oh" I said dumbly.

She sighed and looked at me, her face a little more relaxed "I'll see you at school ok?" she told me with a sullen voice. She stood up and placed her backpack on her shoulder.

"Ok" I told her standing up with her. I took a step forward and stood in front of her.

"Are you ok beautiful?" I asked her. I hated seeing her like this.

"Yeah" she said quietly with a little sad smile playing on her lips.

I leaned in and placed her bangs behind her ear, then, I kissed her forehead and then pecked her lips. "I'm much better now" she murmured with a humored voice.

"Good" I told her.

She then put her hands on my hair – something I loved - and pulled me in closer to her. Our lips met and I kissed her with fervor. Her lips were soft and I needed to feel closer to her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her even closer to me.

Bella kissed me passionately and I was literally making my way to heaven… _yeah it was that good. _

When the oxygen had ran out from our lungs we broke apart and Bella giggled. I looked at her eyes and the frown and anger and frustrations were all gone.

"Yeah, I definitely am ok now" she said and then winked at me.

Slowly, Bella was becoming less and less shy with me and I loved that. I liked that her true colors were shining brighter each day. And I was glad that she was enjoying that with me.

"Good, sexy" I replied just to get a blush out of her, and she didn't disappoint.

I fight the urge to run after her and just steal her and run away from our pasts.

Bella left the house after a couple more kisses and saying goodbye to Alice. That left me with time to think about things… yeah… the past is something hard to get rid of.

**BPOV:**

"So what have you been doing these past two weeks?" he asked as he was driving.

"Nothing… I've been staying busy with school" I lied smoothly.

"So you haven't gone out?" he asks obnoxiously.

"No James… you've asked me what I've done every day that we talk and you know that I haven't gone out so what's with the twenty questions?" I complain. _I definitely want to get to church already!_

"I'm just making sure that's all" he says. "By the way I think that the skirt you're wearing is too tight, have you been dressing like that while I've been gone?" he asks. _Someone please just shoot me already!_

"No James I guess you didn't pay attention to what I was saying last week. I told you I didn't go to church because my mom had seasonal allergies so I had to stay at home and take care of her. Now can we please move on from the subject of what I've done while you were supposedly working?" I said looking outside the window ignoring the look he was giving me.

_I was in a good mood and I wasn't going to let this idiot ruin it. _

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Nothing James, just ignore it" I replied and turned the music up louder. Breaking Benjamin was playing and I felt myself relax once again.

I started thinking about the one thing that occupied my thoughts constantly: Edward. Yeah, not even James could take that away from me.

Things were going great with Edward. Although we didn't hang out as much as we would've liked, when we were together everything was ok. I forgot about James and all of the baggage that he brought along, and I was happy. I got to see him a lot more often since we were helping Alice's graduating class by volunteering. We had gotten really good at knowing when James would be around and when we couldn't even text each other_. I hated those days. Days like today made my life a living hell once again. _

James reached the parking lot and turned off the car. He immediately looked down at my legs where my skirt had ridden up. He reached over and touched my left leg. I started to try to pull away but he held on to it tightly. His hand started traveling up and I was panicking. "James what the hell you're at church!" I reprimanded him.

"That's what makes it fun Bella don't be such a saint, we both know you're not" he said with a smirk on his face.

_Asshole!_

I got off the car immediately and he did the same, I grabbed my purse and started walking toward the building, he finally caught up to me. "Why are you walking away?" he asked with an angered voice.

I looked at him and his face looked smooth. As matter of fact people who were passing by would've thought we were having a lovely conversation. _If they only knew!_

"I'm not walking away… I'm walking towards the building… are you blind James?" I said with a smile on my face. A lady came up to me and started greeting me before we reached the door, leaving James with his words behind.

When we finally entered the church, we were greeted by a couple of males. They all said hi to both of us.

"Hey Bella how are you?" a teenager named Tim asked me. Tim was younger than me but he was still really nice.

"I'm fine Tim, how are you?" I asked to be polite.

"I'm good. Hey your name is Bella… isn't there some princess named Bella?" he asked with a smile on his face. _Shit this was not good. _

I laughed "Ugh yeah… but I don't like that chick… who wears a yellow dress?" I asked laughing back. _James be damned_. He was now standing next to me. He reached out to shake Tim's hand. When he did, I saw Tim's eye wince in pain. _What an asshole… seriously!_

When we walked away from Tim, James grabbed my hand and I'm sure we looked like the cutest couple in the world. _Bullshit!_

"Why are you flirting with him?" he asked in a low voice, keeping that stupid smile plastered on his face.

"Wow, now I can't have a conversation with anybody?" I asked and looked at him with the same stupid smile he was giving me.

He looked away and said hi to somebody else. I went to sit next to my parents who were already there. They were socializing with other members of the congregation, and since _I couldn't _talk to anybody I just sat there and waited for the meeting to begin.

James sat with his parents since we didn't make it a habit to sit together. _God knows I can only fake a smile for so long at church. _I was busy daydreaming and looking around and right when the service was about to start, I noticed a stunning couple walking through the doors with teenagers behind them. _Shit! This cannot be happening… not now and not to me!_

Carlisle and Esme were walking towards a seat, and with them were Alice, Jasper, and yeah… Edward. I immediately looked away, knowing that James was probably looking to see what was holding my interest. I felt my heart accelerate and fear entered my body. With my peripheral vision, I noticed that the Cullens sat behind me. _Shit, when things couldn't get worse… they did! _

I could not blame them for attending church… instead I felt happy to see that Edward was going out and about in the town. They were new to Forks and well… it was good to see them socializing with other people.

Service started and I could not keep my foot from bouncing. Luckily we hadn't had time to talk to anybody. I sat there and pretended to listen to whoever was talking. Every now and then I could feel James gaze on me and that only added to my desperation to get the hell away from the Cullens. _They did not need to meet fucking James. _

I don't think they had realized that I was sitting in front of them. If they did, they were doing a pretty good job at paying attention to the speaker. Finally, after the first half of the meeting was over, I saw Alice get up to go to the rest room. I immediately followed suit and that is when I notice Jasper and Edward's eye go wide. Yeah…. They obviously hadn't noticed I was in front of them.

I didn't have the time or the guts to look back at them so I just kept on walking. I passed by where James was sitting and he gave me a questioning look. I made a sign with my hand to tell him I was going to the restroom and he just rolled his eyes at me. I kept on walking and finally reached the restroom. I was sure Alice was in there so I waited for her to come out.

When she did her eyes went just as wide as Jasper's and Edward's had.

"Bella what are you doing here?" she asked. She was about to hug me and the she stopped herself. I looked at her confused and she raised her hands at me.

"I got to wash my hands first girl… you don't want my germs do ya?" she asked with a smile in her face. Yeah… that smile was about to get wiped out of her face.

"How are you Alice?" I asked her.

"Good, my mom and dad are here… and so are Jasper and Edward" she said winking at me.

"Yeah I noticed. I'm sitting right in front of you guys" I told her.

Alice finished washing her hands and she was drying them. She looked at me and then I think the light started flicking in her brain. "Bella what's wrong?" she asked.

I could feel the words getting stuck on my throat. The seriousness of the situation came back to me. "Alice…, he… James…" I stuttered.

"Oh my god!" Alice said, her hands going to cover her mouth. "Bella is he here with you?" she asked.

I just nodded my head and Alice quickly enveloped me in a hug. "Oh my god sweetheart, I'm sorry, I should have known you would be here with him!" she said blaming herself for this.

"No Alice is not your fault" I told her immediately. It really wasn't her fault.

"Is he sitting with you Bella?" Alice asked looking at me. Her smile long gone and worry covered her face now.

"No he's not. He's sitting more toward the back of the church that way he can keep an eye on what I'm doing" I said bitterly.

"Bella what are we going to do?" Alice asked once again.

"I don't know Alice, but I don't want him to meet you guys" I said and then the light bulb in my head went on.

"Oh I know!" I said

Alice looked at me and was waiting for me to proceed.

"Alice I told him that I know you have a brother but that I've never met him. I can introduce you to him and you can supposedly introduce me to Jasper your boyfriend and Edward you _younger _brother. The only thing we're going to have to be careful about is your parents. Obviously they don't know everything about James and if they came up to say hi to me they would immediately give me away." I told Alice.

"You're right, that could work. Ok let's do that then. Once church is over, I'll come over and say hi. Don't worry I'll tell Jasper and Edward what we're doing. Once again Bella, I'm so sorry this is happening right now" she said with sad eyes.

"Don't worry Alice… it had to happen one way or another. Things always seem to go wrong when James is involved" I said looking towards the mirror trying to compose myself.

Alice left the rest room first so that she had a chance to tell Edward and Jasper about our plan. Then I went back to my sit. I saw James looking at me the entire time so I didn't even bother to look back at Jasper and Edward. I didn't want to risk things.

When the service was over, Alice immediately made sure that her parents were busy with other people, that way they wouldn't talk to me.

James came up to me as soon as he could and was already trying to pull me out of the building when Alice came up to me.

"Hey Bella" she said. I turned around and acted surprised.

"Oh my god, hey Alice, how are you?" I asked, giving her a hug.

"I'm good thank you, I didn't know you came to this church" she commented, trying to make small talk. Jasper and Edward were coming up behind her. At the same time, I could feel James standing next to me.

"Oh yeah… well it's a small town so there's not that many churches to choose from" I smiled.

"Yeah true that" Alice said. _Gosh this girl should be an actress. _"And who's this Bella?" Alice asked, looking at James. Edward and Jasper were already next to Alice and I fought the urge to look at Edward. I didn't want to see his expression. I was probably hurting him right now.

"Oh yeah how rude of me" I replied. "Alice this is James, James this is Alice. I told you I was working on a project with her remember?" I asked him looking at him.

He smiled and nodded. He extended his hand to Alice and out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper stiffening up. "Nice to meet you Alice, Bella has mentioned you before" he said turning his charm on. Alice looked almost disgusted and I still wasn't looking at Edward.

"Nice to meet you James, I want you to meet these boys right here", Alice said, pulling her hand away from James.

"Bella, James, this is Jasper, my boyfriend and this is Edward, my younger brother" Alice said.

Jasper and Edward both shook my hands, and I felt Edward squeeze a little harder than what was considered normal with a hand shake. I met his eyes and they portrayed nothing.

"Nice to meet you" he said then he turned to James.

"Nice to meet you to man" he said but he wasn't looking at James.

After that silence settled over us and I was at a loss of what to say. Of course Alice came in and saved the day.

"Well Bella we have to get going, I'm starving and I still have to drag my parents out into the parking lot. I'll see you around at school ok? Nice to meet you again James" she said and then walked off with Jasper and Edward.

Edward's look wondered a little longer on us and then, he followed after Alice. My heart was beating so fast and I was losing my mind.

"Let's go I'm hungry too" I told James and I started walking away.

We got in the car and then James decided to talk. _It was time to put my poker face on._

"I didn't know Alice had an older brother" he commented.

"He's not older, he's younger" I said looking away towards the window.

"Yeah but he's old like us, you know what I mean" he said annoyed.

"Ok" was all I said.

"And you don't care?" he asked looking at me. I could feel it.

"Should I?" I asked. I looked at him and kept on going. "Why does it matter if I'm not allowed to go to her house anymore, I've never met them before, and I'm no longer doing to project? Why should I care?" I asked bitterly. I was impressed with how good I was becoming at lying. Not that I was proud of it but I'm sure that the situation made it a necessity.

"So you haven't gone to her house?" he asked, ignoring my tantrum.

"No I haven't" I replied. "Happy?"

"Yup" he said. _Asshole_!

"He was checking you out" he continued.

"I'm sure he was" I said, knowing exactly what to say since we had been in this same situation about a million times before.

"I told you that skirt is too tight, you're showing off your entire ass" he said a little more angrily and I just did what I do best: ignore him.

He parked the car in front of his house and then he looked at me.

"My parents are going somewhere straight from church" he said with a devious smile, and with lifted eyebrows. I know what this means. _Shit… please not today!_

"James I have homework to do" I answered though I knew that this wasn't going to work. I hadn't seen him in two weeks and now he wanted to hang out since he was leaving in the morning.

"So? I haven't seen you in a while Bells, I wanna have some alone time with you" he said starting to look angry… yet again.

"Fine what do you want to do that doesn't include me taking off my clothes?" I answered in the same tone he was speaking in.

"Do you have to be so crude Bella? See? That's what college is doing to you" he replied to my smart ass comment.

"Ok then tell me what you want to do then" I told him.

"I want to spend time with you!" he said

"Ok, well we're spending time together right now, let's just sit here and do nothing, I'm sure that will satisfy your need to be with me" I replied.

"So what, now you don't even want to spend time with me? He asked. I felt like pissing him off so I just kept on going.

"I'm saying that unlike you, who just want to see me naked, I'd rather sit here and _really _spend some time with you. We haven't even had a descent conversation in a while. And I mean one where you're not bitching over something I did or over someone who was staring at my ass" I finished my rant hoping that it had work.

"Fuck Bella, can you please quit yelling?" he asked.

"I'm not yelling, I'm just expressing myself in whatever way I believe is best" I responded. All of the sudden I had the urge to laugh and mess with this asshole, and if being a smartass was going to get me there, then so be it.

"You're just being a smartass" he replied in a voice that indicated that he was holding back, which in return let me know that I was doing a good job.

"No sir I'm not" I said looking out the window.

"Whatever Bella, anyways, what do you want to do then?" he asked looking at me.

"Hmmm I wanna go home and do my homework. If you want to, I can cook you some food and we can just hang out?" I offered peacefully since he was cooperating... sort of.

"You want to do homework on the _one _weekend I'm here to see you? _Really Bella_? Well that just sucks. I might as well not come and see you at all" he said…. _Now there's an idea!_

"Fine James just come to my house and I'll cook something and we can watch a movie or talk or something" I said to finally shut him up.

"Ok, let's go" he said. He started the car and we headed over to my house. Unfortunately my plans didn't work out like I wanted to.

My parents weren't home from church yet and when I called them they surprised me by telling me that they had gone to Seattle to visit some old friends and wouldn't be back until later on tonight. That meant that I was stuck with asshole for the afternoon and part of the night. _Just great!_

I had change into comfortable jeans and a t-shirt and had taken my time cooking dinner. We were eating the lasagna I cooked and I had just finished. I was cleaning up and James came behind me and grabbed me by the hips. He then started kissing my neck.

I felt myself tense up and I knew what was coming. I was dreading this moment, I didn't want him touching me but I knew that I couldn't get away from it. I had no excuse tonight.

I let him feel me up and his hands were roaming all over the place. My heart was beating a thousand miles an hour and I just wanted to tell him to stop.

"James calm down" I finally said. That didn't stop his hands from touching my ass though.

"Why baby? I like touching your ass, it's so big, and I just want to squeeze it all day long" he said in a dirty nasty voice.

"Yeah well you're gonna leave it sore if you don't stop and I got school tomorrow, I don't wanna be walking all funky just because my ass hurts" I replied lamely. His hands then moved under my shirt and up to my breast. He dipped his hands under the bra and squeezed my left boob from behind. _I just wanted him to stop._

He then turned me around and looked at me. "How about we take this upstairs to your room?" he asked with that damn smile that I hate so much.

"No James, I don't want my parents walking in on us, you know my dad would kill you and my mom would kill me" I fought, though I knew it would lead me nowhere.

He still picked me and the whole way upstairs I was trying to get him to let go, but he wouldn't. He made it to my room and threw me on the bed. I look at him and sat up.

"James I said _no! _I don't wanna do anything. I am _not _in the mood for this, so can you _please_ just quit?" I asked once again.

"That's ok baby I'll put you in the mood" he answered cryptically. He then started taking off my shirt and I could feel the tears burning in my eyes. I hated this. I wanted to die right now.

He started placing kisses on my stomach and my belly and then he moved his hands to my back to unclasp my bra.

I automatically shut myself off; I didn't feel anything I was just there for his amusement. And if this was what it would take to get him off my case, the so be it! This was a war I wasn't going to win.

He got my bra off and his mouth was immediately taking one of my breasts in while the other one was being manhandled by his hand. He took his time licking, nipping, and biting, my breast and then he moved to the other one.

After he had enough of that he started taking my jeans off and I made a mental note to stay alert so things wouldn't get too far.

He took them off and with them went my panties. He started kissing my thighs and the inside of my legs. He then placed a kiss on my center and I squirmed out of his reach but James of course took that as an indication of pleasure.

The next thing I felt were his fingers. He started moving his fingers around and then I felt them penetrate me. It was uncomfortable and it hurt since I wasn't properly aroused.

James of course didn't care and kept on going. I wanted him to stop and _soon! _ So I once again pretended that I was enjoying it.

I made the right sounds at the right time and he of course was drowning in the fact that he was the reason I was moaning and panting. _Yeah right… he was very far from the truth. _

The only thing I couldn't get out of my thoughts was Edward. I wanted him to be the one doing those things to me, not James. James was just repulsive and I hated him so much for doing this to me. I hated myself for _letting_ him do it. I just wanted to die once again.

Once James wanted to take things further I really put my foot down and had to ultimately distract him with a blow job. I felt like the biggest hoe that ever walked the planet. It was no wonder that I believed him when he called me a slut and a hoe.

Once James was all happy I told him I had work to do and like the asshole that he is he didn't even threw a fit. He had gotten what he wanted. He just left and a couple of minutes later I received a call from him letting me know that he was on his way to Seattle already.

I felt relieved because I wouldn't see him for another two weeks, but at the same time I felt drained of all will to keep on going.

I felt heavy with despair and I just wanted to crumble on the floor and die there without anybody finding me.

I felt like I had betrayed Edward and I just felt miserable. I was carrying this ball chains around my feet that I couldn't get rid of and I was ultimately going to drag him down with me.

I got in the shower and got rid of all traces of James. I didn't even want to think about it. I closed off all thoughts of him, until it was later at night and he called once again to let me know that he had arrived to Seattle and was already with the other guys he was working with. _Well he drives like a maniac so of course he made it to Seattle already!_

He told me he loved me and that he was thankful for what I did for him. He told me I was a good girlfriend but that I would have been a better one if I had let him "do me".

After I hung up with him, I called my parents to see where they were at; they told me they wouldn't be home for another couple of hours, and to just eat dinner by myself.

I was still full of despair and I knew what would take that away.

I grabbed my keys and drove until I reached my destination. I didn't see any cars but I still went and rang the bell.

The door opened and there was Edward in all his glory. His hair looked messy and like he had been pulling on it the whole day. He looked at me with astonishment and I just wanted to throw myself at him and cry, or hug him, or kiss him, I couldn't tell.

He grabbed my hand and started pulling me inside. Most of the lights in the house were off and it was very quiet.

"Where's everyone?" I asked.

"They're all out and about, my car is in the garage" he said.

He led me up to his room in silence and I wasn't scared a bit. I trusted him with all my being.

When we got up to his room he closed the door and before I could blink I was being pushed against it.

His lips were on me and I felt the pain that was holding my chest leave me. I pulled on his hair and kissed him with so much strength that I hoped I wasn't hurting him. He growled and I was moaning. His hands then started roaming down my back and stopped before they could reach my butt. I took his hands and moved them down. _I craved his touch._

I started pushing him against the bed and I threw myself on top of him. I started kissing his neck and sucking on it. I could feel his reaction under me and his hands were exerting greater strength on my butt, pushing me against him.

"Bella what are you doing to me?" he gasped.

We were both breathless and I stopped and looked at him in the eye. I felt my eyes fill up with tears but I didn't want to cry.

"I need you Edward" I told him.

He must have seen my despair and my pain because he flipped me over and started kissing me with so much passion I felt like I would explode.

His hands started taking off my shirt and I marveled at how right it felt. He took a moment to appreciate me and I almost felt self-conscious.

"You are so fucking beautiful" he said looking at me in the eye.

"So are you" I said, though I knew those words didn't do him justice.

"Bella, do you mind?" he asked looking at my chest.

I just shook my head and pulled him down to me. I was desperate for his touch and I wanted it now.

His soft lips soon found the top of my breast and his warm breath was so amazing that it made my entire body tingle. I placed my hands on his hair and encouraged him further. Once again, I had the pleasure of hearing him growl and that only made me want him more.

"Edward please!" I begged.

He started taking off my bra and then his mouth enveloped my breast. His other hand was caressing my other breast and I could feel every one of his touches ignite my body.

When I couldn't take it anymore I flipped us over and I started taking off his shirt.

He was so fucking beautiful. I felt like it was a sin just looking at his beauty.

I looked him in the eye and saw the despair in his. I knew Edward was also broken. We never talked about it, but I knew that he also needed to heal. He was just as fractured as me. His eyes looked so sad but so desperate.

I leaned closer to him and I kissed him slowly and with all the love I felt for him. Yeah I felt love for this man that was so broken and who understood my pain.

I kissed him until I was breathless and I could feel liquid on my face. Whether I was crying or he was, I don't know. All I know is that I needed him more than ever.

I started placing light kisses on his chest and when I reached his nipple I took it in my mouth. I started moving my tongue around it and nipping, and pulling on it.

I felt Edward gasping for air and I knew that this was a good thing. I kept going with my ministrations and his hands were on my hair pushing me along.

"Bella you're so beautiful" he gasped out of nowhere. The way he said it finally broke me.

I didn't look at him and I was still on top of him holding myself with my arms. I starting sobbing and he quickly sat up.

He took my face in his hands and I was sitting in front of him. He lifted my chin so I was looking at him. "Bella did I say something wrong?" he asked and his eyes were full of hurt and confusion.

"No Edward you didn't" I replied in a quiet voice.

"What did he do to you?" he asked with rage thick in his voice.

I stayed quiet since I didn't know what to tell him.

"Beautiful look at me" he said and I did.

"Are you ok sweetie?" he asked.

I was amazed at how sweet he was and I felt like a bitch for doing this to him.

"Edward I'm no good for you" I confessed.

He looked at me seriously and I saw anger cross his eyes before he settled for hurt. "Why not?" he asked.

"Edward I have a boyfriend. It's not fair for me to do this to you. You should be able to go out with a girl that you can show off to everybody. I know that any girl would be happy to have you parade her around. You can't do that with me and I hate myself for doing this to you. You deserve better than this Edward. You don't need me in your life." I finished, looking away from him.

I should have realized all this before I let things get too far. Now I was madly in love with this man and that wouldn't change. But I had to let him go. He deserved a normal relationship, not one where he had to hide and he had to receive the left-overs from the other asshole.

Edward was quiet for a while and I finally looked at him. He was just looking at me and when our eyes met. His hands went up to my face.

"Have you asked me how I feel about this?" he asked, still looking at me.

I remained quiet because I didn't know what to tell him.

"Bella, you have done more for me than anyone has been able to in a very long time. You can ask Alice, Bella I have been dead for months now. I can't even begin to describe how much you have brought me to life once again. I need you Bella" he said with so much sincerity I felt my heat constrict.

"I need you in whatever form I can get. If I can only see you in secret, then so be it, I don't care. As long as I know that you are there for me, _that is all I need_. I don't need to put a show for anyone to see. All I need is you" he finished.

"I need you too" I confessed.

He chuckled and caressed my face "then stop being so silly and trying to get rid of me. It's not gonna happen any time soon Miss Swan." He said with humor on his face.

I chuckled along with him and I suddenly realized that I was topless. I felt myself go ten shades of red and I covered myself.

Edward was laughing once again and he pulled my hand from my chest.

"Don't cover yourself up, you're beautiful and you shouldn't have to hide your beauty" he said.

He gave me my shirt and I found my bra somewhere on the floor of his room.

"But I wouldn't want anyone else seeing them" he said pointing at my boobs, "and I know that Alice and my parents will be home soon, so… yeah cover 'em up missy!" he said with amusement on his face.

I did as I was told and he was doing the same. I shook my head at him and he just gave me a questioning look.

"What, can't a girl appreciate the view?" I asked.

He just barked out a laugh and pulled me in for a hug.

"You can appreciate all you want beautiful" he said and then he brought his lips to mine. Once again I fought a war within me, but this time Edward had won.

**ALICE'S POINT OF VIEW**

We had been at the mall for a while and I was getting hungry.

We were eating I was enjoying shopping. Jasper was quiet as he usually is, but I could read the happiness in his eyes.

"Darling?" I called to him.

He looked at me and smiled "yes my dear?" he asked. _Gosh he's so freaking sweet!_

"I love you" I told him.

"As I love you my dear" he said taking my hand across the table.

We were quiet after that and I was just looking around. I was wondering where mom and dad were since we split up when we got to the mall.

All of the sudden a familiar face seemed to pass by. I turned around and I notice who it was.

_Bella's boyfriend. _

That fucking asshole! What the heck was he doing here? And with another girl's tongue down his throat!

I felt my anger flow through my veins and Jasper quickly noticed my change.

"Darling what's wrong?" he asked

Jasper was aware of the situation Bella was in. Bella didn't mind since we were all close friends now.

"Do you see that asshole over there" I said pointing at the excuse of a man standing against a wall with some bimbo _still _shoving her tongue down his throat.

"Isn't that Bella's asshole?" Jasper asked.

I just nodded.

Jasper started getting up and I could see my baby's anger and his fist were clinching. He was about to whoop the shit out of that asshole, and it serves him right for hurting Bella.

But then I thought about it and this would just make things worse for her.

"Jasper baby stop" I said quickly.

Jasper looked at me. "Why not baby?" he asked.

"Just trust me… I got plans" I answered.

He came closer to me and gave me a quizzical look.

"Let's go find mom and dad, it's getting late" I said and with that we took off. I took one last look at where the asshole was standing and he and bimbo were gone.

Well this definitely changes things.

**A/N: Well that **_**does **_**changes things doesn't it? I hope you guys aren't so mad at me for not writing sooner. Please leave your comments and reviews. Thank you guys!**


	19. My Heart On My Sleeve

**A/N: **ok here's the next chapter… enjoy and I think this time I'm going to wait until a decent amount of people review. I _really _want to know what you guys think._**PLEASE!**_

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight characters, not me!

**Chapter song: **Stay by Sugarland

**My Heart on My Sleeve**

And I'll be begging you, baby  
Beg you not to leave  
But I'll be left here waiting  
With my Heart on my sleeve  
Oh, for the next time we'll be here  
Seems like a million years  
And I think I'm dying

**EPOV: **

I was furious when I saw that asshole standing so close to Bella. I literally could stretch my hand out and punch him or choke him to death, whichever one was more painful. I was so distracted when we entered the church that I had not even seen Bella sitting in front of us until she got up and walked toward the back. I was about to follow her but I didn't want her to think I was stalking her. I was planning to talk to her after service was over, but Alice changed all that.

She wrote me a note in paper explaining that the imbecile was here with Bella and that we would have to act like we barely knew her. I knew it was all to protect her but it still killed me to see her standing next to that idiot.

She looked so uncomfortable and like she would rather be anywhere but there. I understood how she felt. But knowing her, I also knew that she would be blaming herself for this. She didn't want me to be caught in the middle and I didn't want her to feel guilty.

It took all of my strength to act indifferent with her and to walk away and leave her at the hands of that asshole once again. When we got home my parents wanted us all to go out to Seattle but I refused the invitation. I was worried about Bella. I needed to know she was ok.

Alice read my thoughts and warned me to stay away until the coast was clear. I understood her point and I knew I had to behave but that didn't make it any easier. It was pure torture not knowing how she was doing or if she was ok. Alice comforted me by telling me that she would text me if she heard from Bella and it calmed me down just a bit.

After Alice and my parents took off I was left alone to wander the house and think about Bella. I paced around in my room pulling my hair and wondering if she was ok. Bella had never admitted that James was abusive to her. All she had told me was that she couldn't break up with him. Something was holding her to him and it was obviously against her will.

I was racking my brain for hours and waiting for a sign from Alice or Bella but it never came. I was so distracted that I jumped like a scared cat when I heard the bell ring. I went downstairs not even thinking who it could be. I was worried about Bella and nothing could take her from my thoughts at the moment.

I was shocked to see her standing at my door and I immediately felt the urge to be close to her. I know I probably scared the shit out of her by attacking her as soon as we made it up to my room but I had to feel something other than worry. I had to make sure she was mine. Call me a selfish asshole but I was desperate for her touch.

It turns out Bella felt just the same. I freaked the fuck out when she started sobbing but she assured me that I hadn't done anything wrong. Instead she ended up telling me that she needed me, and I had never felt such a strong feeling in my life.

I attacked her once again but it felt so natural that I didn't even feel like I was betraying Tanya. Don't get me wrong. I loved Tanya and she would always be a part of me, but lately I had been getting the feeling that Tanya would want me to be happy. She would want me to heal and to move on with my life as Alice had told me many times before.

I know that if our role was reversed and I was dead, I would want her to move on and to find someone who made her feel special and loved, and alive. Bella was that for me. She made me feel whole once again. Where I had once been broken and dead… she resuscitated me and glued me back together.

I had a long discussion with Alice and she told me that we all missed Tanya, and that she understood that I probably missed her more than all of my family did, but that thinking about it would not bring her back to life. She was dead and no matter what I wanted or how much I blamed myself, she was not coming back. It was harsh… _but it was also the truth._

**2 WEEKS LATER**

**BPOV**:

I'm sitting on the floor, naked, incapable of moving. Every little piece of my body hurt and I can't stop the sobs racking from my body. I try to push the events of the afternoon away but it isn't working.

_James had been in Forks for the weekend and that always meant that I was tortured during the weekend. An entire weekend without seeing or hearing from Edward was like dying a thousand times. But there was nothing I could do to avoid them… it was a miracle James even disappeared for two weeks straight. _

_He had taken me to his house after we came back from buying junk food at the store. He said he wanted to have a lazy weekend with me and that meant Junk food and action movies… yay me! His parents were out but he said they would be back soon. _

_Of course everything James ever said to me entered through one ear and went straight out the other so I knew that as usual, he wanted sex._

_The only difference was that this time he didn't settle for no. _

_We were watching the movie and he was lying down on the sofa in front of the TV, I was sitting at the far end of the couch trying to avoid contact with him. He wasn't having that so pulled me against him until I was lying down with him. Next thing I know he's sucking on my neck and I can feel his disgusting body flushed against me, proof of his arousal very evident on my back. _

_History repeating itself: we fought about it and he was demanding as usual. He wanted sex and I wasn't budging. He wanted it then and I refused. _

_He obviously wasn't having that._

I muster enough energy to get up. I need to shower before my parents wonder why I'm stuck in the restroom.

I step into the shower and the hot scalding water feels so much better than all the pain I have accumulated over the past two years. I try to block all thoughts of James's hands on me but they're like a broken record playing the same part over, and over, and over again. _And I just want to die._

I scrub every inch of my body meticulously, ridding myself of his scent. After a while the water starts to turn cold and my body starts to ache even more. I step out of the shower and put on some sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt so that my parents won't see the bruises. I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself but all I see is a girl who is too weak to stop him, too weak to speak up, _too weak to try. _

My dad eventually calls me downstairs and I put on the mask. I hide the pain I feel and the need to just scream every time I take a step down the stairs. I quietly help my mom prepare dinner while they have a light conversation. My dad asks me how my afternoon was and what I did with James.

_This is your chance Bella… speak up!_

I tell him that it was great and that we watched movies and ate junk food all afternoon.

His response: "Bella poor guy he's been working, you should've cooked something for him instead of eating all that junk food"

_Awesome _

After I finish dinner and clean up the kitchen I tell my parents I have homework to work on and I go up the stairs quietly. As soon as I reach my room, close the door, and lay down in my bed, I scream into my pillow and think, and remember unwanted touches and unwanted intrusions. _And I also remember undeserved and unwanted threats. _

I sit up on my bed and close my eyes. I bow my head and pray. I pray for a miracle, I pray for endurance, I pray for my sanity because I'm really close to losing it all.

The next day, the pain was unbearable. My entire body felt like it had been beaten with sticks and I could barely muster the energy to get up to go to the rest room. I was glad that my parents were both out at work and that I didn't have any volunteer work to do for Alice's senior class today.

I was in my bed and I received text messages from James, I ignored them and I knew he would call soon enough so it was the same shit anyways… he would still be there whether I replied or not.

I texted Edward and he wanted to call me but I told him I wasn't feeling well and that I was going to get some rest. I didn't want to worry him, he didn't need to.

The entire time I was in my room I was trying my best to shut my brain off but it wasn't working. The tears and the headache from so much crying I could handle, but my brain… _yeah that shit was making me consider grabbing the first sharp object that I could find and stabbing myself in the head with it. _

It wasn't until noon that the knocking of the door got me out of bed. I painfully went downstairs and looked out through the window only to see Alice standing at my door. I opened the door for her and she was smiling until she saw me.

_Yeah I'm good at ruining people's smiles. _

"Bella what's wrong?" she asked looking at me with worried eyes.

I started sucking up the pain and threw myself in the sofa and pointed to the other one so Alice could sit.

"I'm not feeling well, I think I'm getting sick" I lied smoothly.

Alice looked at me and her eyes narrowed "have you gone to the doctor? We could go see my dad if you want?" she offered.

_Shit_

"No Alice I'm sure is just one of those viruses that only last a day or two. I'll be fine, don't worry so much. Anyways aren't you supposed to be at school?" I asked changing the subject

"Yeah I left early, I needed to do some stuff and I wanted to talk to you, Bella are you sure that's all that's wrong?" she said while still examining me with narrowed eyes. I pulled my sleeves down to cover my entire hand just in case Alice decided to pull them up.

"Yeah Alice I'm sure… I'm just not feeling well and I couldn't get much sleep last night so I look like the walking death now stop staring at me like that" I said trying to make her forget the examination. I was afraid that she would see too much.

"Ok, I believe you" she said but her eyes were still doubtful.

"So what did you want to talk about? More senior class activities?" I asked her. I really liked volunteering for Alice's class. I guess I was sort of making up for all I missed out on my senior year. But maybe it had all to do with the fact that Edward was also a volunteer.

"Hmm not really, actually the senior fundraisers are going very well and thanks to the most wonderful volunteers in the world, everything is coming along great" she said with a smile on her face.

"Well you only owe me for a lifetime so it's no biggie" I said nonchalantly.

"Oh don't worry I intend to pay you back" she said smiling. Her smile told me that I would be the one paying and not her.

"Just kidding Alice, so tell me what's going on then?" I asked wondering why she had skipped school to talk to me.

"I don't know how to tell you this Bella! I know I should have said something the moment I saw it but it's just I don't really know how well you get along with him and how things are going. I don't want to make things worse for you and I just don't want you to get hurt and for it to be my fault. Gosh I hate this, I wish I could just say it but it's so difficult! You don't deserve this Bella!" she babbled, her face twisted in pain.

I started getting really nervous. Was Alice referring to Edward? She didn't want me to get hurt; did that mean that Edward had someone else? That he would not be able to be close to me anymore? Did that mean that once more I had placed my trust on someone who would eventually just walk out of my life?

Well I guess I don't blame him. I am all jacked up for sure. Why would anyone want anything to do with someone like me? I'm cheating on my boyfriend and on top of that I don't have the guts to stand up for myself and defend myself. Instead, I rely on others to protect me… it shouldn't be that way!

"You can just say it Alice, I won't hate you for it" I told her honestly. How could I hate them? They had been there long enough for me to at least have a distraction.

"Bella I saw James the other day" she said looking down at her hands. My heartbeat picked up and I immediately grew weary.

"What do you mean you saw him? Did he talked to you, did he do something to Edward?" I asked starting to panic.

"No I didn't talk to him" she muttered. "I just saw him, ugh God I need to get better explaining skills, ok let me start from the beginning ok?" she finally said looking at me.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm my beating heart. "Ok Alice, please explain what has you so torn" I said resigned to losing her and Edward. Alice also took a deep breath.

"Ok, remember two weeks ago when we saw you at church and I finally met James?" she asked, I thought back to two weeks ago and remembered it clearly.

"Yeah, but what about it?"

She looked at me and then took a deep breath, just to exhale it. "Ok after that I went to Seattle, to the mall with my parents and with Jasper. Edward said he didn't want to go; he was worried about you so he stayed home in case you needed him. He knows that the weekend that James is here you guys don't talk or see each other so he was really worried and decided to stay. Once we got to the mall Jasper and I split up from my mom and dad. I had been shopping with Jasper but after a while I got hungry so we went to the food court to eat. I was almost done with the food when I recognize James from far away." She said. I was taking it all in but I was more confused than ever. What the heck happened?

"Ok, did he talk to you or something?" I asked her trying to keep her talking.

Alice sighed and looked at me in the eye. I couldn't recognize the expression in her eyes. It was almost like she feared something. It wasn't like Alice to be scared to talk. I was starting to freak out. I didn't want to see what else James could possibly mess up in my life.

He had already taken my will with him, I didn't need him to take all I had left; my friendship with Alice and more importantly, he couldn't take Edward from me. I would for sure fade away without Alice or Edward in my life. I needed them. They were the only two beings capable of keeping me alive at this point.

"Bella…. He was with another girl," she whispered.

I heard the words but they didn't really make sense.

"What do you mean he was with a girl Alice?" I asked, still trying to register what she said.

"I was eating and we were about to go and meet up with mom and dad and I was picking up when I saw James from far away and he was making out with some blonde bimbo. At first I thought I was seeing things but when I looked carefully I recognized him and he was leaning against a wall making out with some chick. When Jasper saw me looking around he noticed and he saw him too, he started getting up to go kick his butt; he was furious Bella" Alice stuttered.

"Oh my god, did they get in a fight?" I asked. I had seen Jasper recently and I didn't notice any bruises on him, but that didn't mean they didn't fight.

"No, I stopped Jasper before he went up to him. Honestly I'm scared of him and I didn't want Jasper near him" Alice said.

"So what happened then?" I asked.

"Nothing, I took Jasper with me and we started walking off. When I turned around again, James was already gone, and so what the blonde chick."

I finally let out the breath that I had been holding. _Everyone was ok._

Soon after that I started taking everything Alice had just told me. I felt my heart slow down and I felt like I could finally breathe. Ok, so she went shopping and then she saw James. James had been here that afternoon. He had been here with me and he had once again forced himself on me. He had wanted me to have sex with him. When he didn't get it he left. Yet, he took a piece of me with him, just like he did every time.

He was cheating on me.

Suddenly that thought caught up to me.

_The bastard was cheating on me!_

I remembered what he had done to me the previous night.

Suddenly I felt the tears slipping down my face.

_He had raped me._ He had forced himself on me, yet again. This time he had gotten what he wanted. And he was cheating on me.

I could feel the tears streaming down my face. He had me trapped in this life that wasn't for me. A life that I knew I didn't deserve. I didn't want to be with him and he didn't want me, yet he still hurt me every chance possible.

As a cruel reminder of my life when I moved my arm to wipe away my tear I could feel the stiffness and the soreness from all the strength I had used to keep James away from me. Those efforts had been futile.

_James had won that battle. _

I then felt a set of arms wrap around me and when the tears cleared I saw Alice looking at me with a worried face.

"Bella I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just had to tell you because if I were in your position I would want you to tell me so that I didn't make a fool of myself by being with someone who didn't appreciate me. Bella you don't deserve him. You are the nicest and sweetest person I have ever known in my life. You are smart and you are beautiful, you can do so much better than that scumbag. You don't need him Bella." Alice said.

I thought about the things she said. I _was _making a fool of myself. James paraded me around everyone we know so that they could see he had someone with him. Yet in the privacy of our home, he was possessive and a sick person. And now, to make it all better, he was cheating on me.

I started laughing.

I was laughing hysterically and I couldn't stop myself. I noticed Alice looking at me like I had gone crazy.

"Bella, honey you are scaring me, why are you laughing?" she asked with panicked eyes.

"Don't you get it Alice?" I asked her.

She waited for me to answer her instead.

"Alice, all this time I have been at the receiving end of James's threats. I have been the one to blame for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I have been the one that always does something wrong, the one that owns up to the many mistakes I make, that humiliates herself, the one that asks for forgiveness, the one who makes him stronger but losing all together. But now, I'm done Alice. I'm done crying for him and crying for myself. All this time, I have felt sorry for myself because I got myself stuck in this situation. All this time I have felt like I really did deserve to be treated like trash, but not anymore. James is nothing but a piece of shit and if he is out there cheating on me then why the hell should I have to put up with his shit?"

Alice was now sitting next to me on the sofa. "Bella but won't your parents find out about things?" she asked.

She brought up the one thing I hadn't thought about.

Charlie and Renee would be extremely angry and disappointed with me. I could already hear Renee yelling at me. Charlie would disown me when he found out. All this would kill me. But it would not hurt me anymore than James had already hurt me.

"Yeah Alice they will, but you know what? I'm tired. I have been stuck like this for two years and I think it's time for me to grow a backbone. I'm done with James, I don't need him in my life and although the consequence of the mistake I made with him will follow me for a long time, I rather know that I did something about it instead of just standing there and watching my life pass me by." I said with conviction.

People were going to find out about this and I would be talked about in the whole town. James wasn't going to go down without a fight. Of that I was sure. But at this point what people said didn't matter. I was tired and if anyone were in my position they would be amazed at how much I had been through and they would be surprised that I hadn't turned into a bitter person yet.

"Bella just know that no matter what happens in the near future, I will always be here for you, and so will Edward. He cares for you so much and he would be devastated if anything happened to you. I also know that he would support you in your decision to get rid of James, trust me. And if things get bad with your parents you can always count on us and with my parents. They already see you like a daughter and they wouldn't hesitate to help you" Alice said.

"Thank you Alice but can I ask for something?"

"Anything Bella, you know I'm here to help" she said with a smile on her face.

"Alice, I don't want Edward to find out about this yet. Cutting James loose is going to take time; I can't just do it all at once. I have to make sure I do it at the best time possible so that I don't make things worse for myself, especially here at home. Things will get very ugly before they get better and for a while I know I won't be able to get out much. I know my parents, and I know how they will react to all of this. I am going to become the most talked about person in this town and my mom and dad will want to disown me. I don't want Edward to worry about this Alice, I care about him and about you, but I know I can tell you all of this without worries because you understand me, but Edward would just be angry and I can't have him get hurt by James ok? Please Alice, don't tell him any of this. I made my bed and now I'm going to deal with the consequences of all the wrong choices I've made in my life ok?" I said looking at her.

"Ok Bella, but I want you to know that Edward _would _understand what you are going through. More than you can possibly imagine." She said but she didn't elaborate.

I wondered what she meant but I let it go since Alice started getting up.

"Ok I have to go because I'm due out of class in a couple of minutes so I have to pretend I was at school. Also I'm hanging out with my darling boyfriend tonight so I'll see you later ok Bella?" she said in a much merrier mood than she was earlier.

"Ok Alice, I'll see you later. Say hi to Jasper for me would you?"

"Sure no problem" she said as I led her out of the house.

When I closed the door I took a deep breath and for the first time in a long time I felt like I could actually breathe.

I would soon get rid of James and in no time, I could finally be with the person who had captivated me body and soul. Edward was now a necessity in my life and I didn't plan on living without him. Not now, not ever!

**First week of April**

I was extremely nervous about doing this. Alice said that I didn't have to worry, that Bella would agree but it still made me nervous.

We were currently in Port Angeles shopping for Alice's prom dress. Yeah _I know_ I was out shopping with my sister but there was a reason why I was here. _Bella came along._

For a while now Bella had been extremely happy. She seemed in a good mood and I in return, was happy also. I asked Alice what it was all about and she told me to just shut up and enjoy it. And that is what I was doing right now.

"Alice you looked beautiful in the last thirty dresses you tried on!" Bella whined. It was amusing to see her get so frustrated. Obviously Bella was a much simpler female. She enjoyed shopping but it didn't take her years to pick something out.

"Bella this is prom. Do you know how many times you go to prom in your life?" Alice asked. She was being melodramatic as usual.

"Ugh trust me Alice it is not that good of an event. You go and stare and criticize other people's dresses and then you go home," she argued.

From what I could tell Bella's prom had not been that great.

I never had the chance to go to prom since it was around that time that Tanya had been killed and I had become a recluse, but from what I had heard from everyone else, Prom was all about fun and getting together with all of your friends to party. At some point and time I had been like that. I had gone to many school parties like homecoming and all that good stuff and I usually enjoyed them, but then again I wasn't shy like Bella.

"Did you not have fun at prom Bella?" My curiosity got the best of me.

"Hmm not really, but then again it was probably because I had always been a nerd, a cool nerd, but still a nerd so I would have preferred a night at home doing something productive instead of going to a lame dance, also the company I had wasn't the best in the world" she said, her face turning a little serious and pensive. _That asshole again!_

"Well I happen to think you are a beautiful nerd and that if you would have had better company you would have loved prom Bella" Alice said, coming out of the dressing room with another dress on.

"Yeah well we can't get repeats can we?" Bella muttered.

Alice looked at me and winked before asking Bella how she looked in the dress she was now wearing. This was my chance to ask her.She was opening a window for me to ask her, but I already had a plan.

I had run the idea by Alice and of course she loved it and told me I was a genius, I made the calls I had to, and got everything set up but as of right now… _I'm freaking the fuck out!_

A couple of minutes later and a gazillion dresses after, Bella and Alice decided it was lunch time and Alice was once again winking at me… _that damn pixie!_

We started walking towards the food court and I could feel the nerves kicking in. I really wanted this to work. I could feel my hands shaking and I think it was even noticeable through all the bags that I was carrying.

We got some food to eat and the whole time I was eating I was wondering how this was going to turn out. _What if she says No?_

"Why are you so quiet Edward?" my thoughts were interrupted and I looked clearly and Bella was looking at me with a sweet smile. _Damn this girl is pretty. _

"Oh nothing just tired of shopping! You chicks take forever to choose a dress!" I tried to distract her…_ and myself. _

"Hey! I'm not like that. I know what I like and when I see it I get it and I'm done!" she giggled and winked at me.

I loved this Bella. I had learned that Bella could be so shy at times and I loved that about her. And then… there were times when she was a complete flirt and this overconfident, sexy, and feisty girl. I absolutely loved her.

"You got that right" I said and winked at her in returned.

The girls talked for a bit longer and I got up and picked up all the trash and headed for the trashcan. I passed in front of the Great American Cookies store. I looked at the cookies on display and smiled.

I took a deep breath and headed back to the table. _This was it. _

"Hey I want a cookie, want to come with me so we can all get some?" I asked both girls, hoping my voice didn't sound weird.

"Oh yay I want cookies!" Alice said excitedly; of course she knew what was about to happen.

"Sure I could eat cookies right now" Bella said also. _Oh thank you God!_

We started heading towards the Great American Cookies store and right before we reached the display I took a deep breath. _I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve for this girl!_

"What kinds of cookies do you like best Bella?" I ask while I noticed that Alice stayed behind and allowed Bella to walk ahead.

This is it. _Is shit or bust time!_

She's looking at the display of cookies and cakes and brownies and when she is standing right where I want her, a worker from the store places a new badge of cookies in front of her.

Suddenly he eyes go wide and I hear her gasp.

**BPOV:**

There's a badge of cookies in front of me and by looking at them I can tell that they are all different flavors. Some are sugar; others are oatmeal walnut, pumpkin specialty, peanut butter supreme and pecan supreme. But I'm not paying much attention to flavors.

_Will you go to prom with me Bella? – Edward_

I'm looking at the words made of icing on the cookies and my heart is going a million miles an hour.

I look at him and he's staring at me with a soft but nervous smile.

I turn around and see Alice walking toward us with a huge smile plastered on her face.

"Bella you and Edward are both volunteers for my senior class therefore you can also chaperone the prom. You said you didn't have good memories from your prom and I'm sure that Edward and of course, _I, _could change that. Please say you'll go to prom with him, pretty please!" she's begging.

I look at Edward once more and he's just looking at me nervously.

I think back to my prom and try to erase the memories from my head immediately. To say that it was horrendous would be an understatement. Of course the fact that I went with James had everything to do with that.

I knew that the weekend of Alice's prom, James would be in Seattle and so that would be taken care of. This was an opportunity I had to make new memories with Edward and enjoy my time before it all got worse as I'm sure it would.

I took a deep breath and looked at Edward once again.

"Alice you didn't even have to convince me, of course I'll go with you to prom Edward" I said quietly.

He smiles the biggest smile I have seen and took a deep breath. "Oh thank God" he says and I know he what he wants to do but we can't… _we're in public. _

I decide to throw caution to the wind for once and run up to him and jump. He catches me in his arms and I am in eye level with him.

"Of course I'll go with you baby" I say and his smile grows impossibly bigger.

"Thank you" he says

I move my lips and kiss him.

_Oh my god I'm going to prom with Edward!_

**AN: **Yay! Prom's coming up! And what do you think will happen now that Bella knows about James? Let me know what you guys think and enjoy the holidays!

**Remember: comments = next chapter.**


	20. An Enchanting Night

**A/N:** thanks so much guys for reviewing last chapter, I'm glad y'all did. This chapter will be a very happy one… I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think.

Also there will be tons of musical references… look them up, I promise you won't be disappointed.

_**Links to the prom attire are on my profile… check them out if you're a visual reader like me!**_

**Disclaimer:** All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyers.

**Chapter Song:** _Enchanted _by Taylor Swift

**Enchanting Night**

_This night is sparkling, don't you let it go_

_I'm wonderstruck blushing all the way home_

_I'll spend forever wondering if you knew_

_This night is flawless, don't you let it go_

_I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone_

_I'll spend forever wondering if you knew_

_I was enchanted to meet you_

_This is me praying that:_

_This was the very first page, not where the storyline ends_

_My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again_

_These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon_

_I was enchanted to meet you_

"_Please don't be in love with someone else_

_Please don't have somebody waiting on you"_

**EPOV:**

"You look amazing baby," my mom said as she was straightening the champagne colored tie I was currently wearing.

"Thank you mom," I said, knowing that she was excited to see me like this. I had missed my prom and therefore she had missed out on the opportunity to take prom pictures of her son.

"You know baby? I'm really glad that you have found Bella and that she has brought me my baby back. I missed you so much and I'm so glad you're back with us baby" she said as she hugged me.

I smiled indulgently and thought about the dramatic changes I had gone through since meeting Bella. I now had a reason to wake up everyday and live life. I didn't have to put on an act for my mom and dad or for Alice, although she always saw through it. I could just be me.

I was so happy these days and I even found myself considering and thinking about what was next. I was looking at different careers and although I had certain interest, my priority now was Bella. As long as Bella was with me, everything else would be fine.

"Oh hey baby I almost forgot to tell you" my mom said as she kept on messing with my tie.

"What mom?"

"Carlisle and I will go to Seattle for the night. Carlisle has a conference tomorrow so we are going together and we're leaving tonight, so you're in charge. Make sure Alice gets home and you make sure to behave ok baby? I'm too young to be a grandmother," my mom said winking at me.

_Huh? I'm lost… oh wait! Shit!_

"Hmm ok mom… don't worry, I will" I muttered embarrassed as hell and momentarily stunned.

Jasper then entered the room in a black tux with a pink tie on. _Of course Alice would make him wear pink!_ I was once again grateful that Bella was a shy girl and didn't like the attention; therefore she had chosen an inconspicuous color.

I'm wearing a brown tux, a white button-up shirt, a champagne colored vest with a champagne colored tie. On my left front pocked I had position a champagne handkerchief that completed the suit. All in all, I'm sure I looked great and even felt like this was an alternate world and now I just needed to see Bella in order to make this night a reality.

"Hey man, what's up?" Jasper asked. "Oh hello Mrs. Cullen, how are you tonight?" he asked my mom.

"Oh Jasper you looked so handsome" my mother said as she also fixed his tie in a nurturing way. "And I told you to call me Esme. You make me feel old when you call me Mrs. Cullen" she admonished him.

"Sorry Esme, old habits die hard," he said smiling at her. She smiled back at him.

"Ok boys I need to take some pictures while we wait for the girls to finish getting ready. So come on, indulge me," my mom said.

Jasper and I posed for as many pictures as was manly acceptable. I didn't want to feel like I was being emasculated. Just when we were finishing up with the posing, Alice started descending the stairs with Bella following behind her.

Alice was wearing a soft pink, long dress that had black thin straps and a black ribbon that tied it back. Alice looked amazing in it. I felt a surge of pride in me and I thought about how much she had been my safe haven in these past months. I'm sure Jasper was drooling at the sight of Alice and a string of inappropriate thoughts were running through his mind but I tried not to dwell on it. _I didn't want to kick his butt on his prom night. _

When Alice came downstairs, she hugged my mom who was gushing and thrilled to see her baby girl look so beautiful for prom. Then she came up to me and hugged me also.

"You look beautiful Al," I told her as I hugged her. "Thank you for helping me so much through all of this hard times. I love you," I whispered in her ear. She immediately pushed me back and narrowed her eyes at me.

"Oh no you don't Cullen! You will _not _make me cry and mess up my make-up the day of my prom! Save the mushy stuff for later" she admonished me and then winked and moved on to Jasper.

I then focused on Bella who was currently hugging my mom and having a private conversation with her. She then moved on to me.

_Words failed me at the moment. _

I cannot possibly describe just how beautiful Bella looked tonight. All of her beauty was exalted tonight just for me, and the rest of the world to admire. _I am one lucky bastard!_

"Bella you look beautiful," I told her quietly, knowing that she was avoiding the attention.

Bella was wearing a champagne colored dress that went down to her knees. The dress was strapless and it was all made of lace except for a bronze silk ribbon that the dress had just under her breast. She was wearing a pair of fuck-me heels that were also bronze and had three straps at the ankles. Her hair was all picked up in a messy bun with tendril embracing her lovely face that was touched with soft make up. She looks _amazing! _

"Thank you Edward," she said and the tale-tell signs of her embarrassment showed on her cheeks in the form of a beautiful blush. "You look very handsome yourself," she said, appraising my tux.

"Why, thank you ma'am" I teased her.

"Ok, picture time!" my mother squealed.

While Jasper and Alice were off to enjoy their night with their friends, Bella and I had to head to the location of the prom early since we were chaperones.

We had been there most part of yesterday afternoon and today, and then we came home to eat dinner and change into our prom attire.

"So how are things going at home?" I asked Bella as we were driving towards the reception hall where the prom would be held. _Closer _by Kings of Leon is playing on my stereo and we both have been comfortably quiet.

"Same old, same old" she responded quietly. "But at least I was able to get out tonight, and hopefully he won't bother me so much tonight" she said and as I looked at her she was smiling at me.

I couldn't help smiling back. "Gosh you really look amazing baby," I told her. I grabbed her hand and started kissing her knuckles and her delicate fingers. I was trying to not think about James. Tonight was not the night to be bitter because I couldn't call this girl mine, or because for some reason I didn't know about, she could not let go of him.

"I really want you to enjoy tonight baby. I know your prom sucked so I want this to be your new memory of it ok?" I pleaded.

"Oh Edward, trust me; nothing will be able to top tonight" she said and I could hear the excitement in her voice.

We arrived at the hall and the place looked amazing now that it was getting darker and the lights were coming on.

"Wow, we really did good huh?" Bella asked as she inspected the entrance to the prom.

"Yeah we did… I'm glad Alice will have such a great time tonight, and so are we" I said looking at Bella. I pulled her toward me and placed my hand around her waist as I leaned down to kiss her hair.

"Yeah but first we have lots of work to do" she smiled at me.

"Alright let's get to it then"

We busied ourselves by making sure that everything was set up the right way. There were other volunteers also tiding the place up and making sure that everything ran smoothly. Bella and I were in charge of collecting tickets at the entrance and once the doors closed we were to supervise the dance floor to make sure students didn't start degrading themselves before the prom was over.

When students started arriving Bella and I started meeting everyone at the entrance. The DJ was already playing music and at the moment Usher's OMG was echoing across the room.

You could hear the excitement of all the students and see their disbelief at how amazing everything looked.

The theme of the prom was "An enchanting Night" and it was set up with tower clocks, stars, and chandeliers all over the place. It looked really neat. All in all, I knew this prom would be remembered for a long while after Alice and Jasper graduated.

Patiently Bella and I waited for the students to pass the alcohol and weapon inspection at the entrance and then we confirmed that they were students of the school and asked for their tickets.

Alice and Jasper arrived around 8:00 and I could tell that they were enjoying themselves. I gave Alice another hug and told her to have fun. She winked at me and told me to do the same for myself.

At 8:30 the doors were closed and we were done taking tickets. Before we could go inspect the dance floor we took a break and grabbed some food they were serving. The fruits were amazing and the whole environment had me feeling once again like a high school student.

Seeing Bella so happy also had me happy. She knew some of the teachers walking around and they were excited to see her. She stopped to talk to some of them and gave hugs to all of them. Obviously Bella was well liked by her teachers but that didn't surprise me.

"Quit kissing butt to your teachers- you're already done with high school Swan" I teased her.

"Me kissing butt? Never! It's not my fault I'm adorable and likeable unlike some other stuck up, broody, people I know" she winked at me and walked away.

I admired the view and wondered how someone could look so amazing.

I followed her into the dance floor and we mingled in between students. When some students were taking their PDA to the next level Bella or I would politely ask them to please step away from each other.

Personally I didn't understand why the school bothered… they were going to have sex whether you tried to stop them or not. Right when that thought was crossing my mind I caught sight of Alice dancing with Jasper and immediately changed my mind. _He better watch himself. _

As chaperones we were also allowed to dance, just not as much as the students. When the cha-cha slide came on, I took Bella's hand and we quickly joined the students who were excitedly dancing as well.

"Oh my god, I don't want to step on anyone with this heels," Bella said, as we were about to start dancing.

"It's ok, they need to keep their distance from you anyway" I winked at her.

Bella laughed her beautiful laugh and punched me in my arm "Oh yeah, and what are you going to do if they don't?" she challenged.

"I guess I'll just have to scare them off with my moves" I said haughtily.

"You're retarded baby" Bella said as she started to move.

Every time I saw her laugh and giggle next to Alice I couldn't believe how fortunate I was to have her in my life.

After we finished dancing that song, we went back to our duties while the rest of the students enjoyed their prom. The DJ was playing _Break Your Heart _by Taio Cruz and everyone in the room was moving to the beat of the song.

Bella and I got separated, as we had to check on students and supervise the dance. I still kept an eye on her and started laughing when I saw Bella's jaw drop when she observed how some chick was practically giving a lap dance to her date on the dance floor. The boy was obviously pleased with the lap dance and well… the chick was just being plain slutty.

I had observed behavior like this previously at parties I used to go to, and I didn't use to think nothing of it. I know that things were different for Bella. She had never been one to attend the social parties in high school and I'm sure she had never seen anyone do what the girl was doing at the moment.

She almost ran to separate them and tell them to settle down. When she was retreating from the students they started getting back at it. I decided to intervene. As funny as it was to watch Bella's reaction… these stupid high school kids were not going to make a fool out of her.

"Excuse miss" I tapped the chick's shoulder. She turned around and looked at me and smiled big when she saw me.

"Well hey handsome" she said. I guess she thought I was a student. I stared at her with a serious face and cleared my throat.

"Can you and your date please follow me?" I asked and started walking ahead of them, knowing that she realized already I was not a student.

I took them where Bella was standing and turned to them. "I believe that Miss Swan here asked you both to please dance appropriately, or am I wrong?" I looked at them both. The girl actually had the decency to blush and the guy just shrugged. _Asshole!_

Bella was just staring at me with a knowing, discreet, smile. "Look guys we're not trying to ruin your prom. We want you both to enjoy it. The way you guys are dancing is highly inappropriate for prom and I have already asked you both to quit; I'm sorry but you are going to have to talk to the assistant principal" she said sternly.

The chick gasped and looked at us both with a scared face. Obviously she knew the consequences of her actions.

"Oh my god I don't want to get kicked out of here! Please I'll stop just don't say anything, please I'm begging you!" she almost looked like she was going to cry.

"Well I guess we can make an exception but you are both going to have to apologize to Miss Swan and if we catch you dancing inappropriately again, then we won't be able to help you, understand?" hmm this is fun… _I like bitching at high school kids, they're stupid. _

"Yes we do, I'm sorry Miss Swan," the chick said. Bella just nodded her head and turned to look at the boy. He obviously wasn't sorry at all but it was funny to see him apologize nonetheless.

"I'm sorry Miss Swan," he said nonchalantly.

"Did you actually mean that Mr.…" I asked for his name.

"Matt, my name is Matt and yes of course I meant it," he said getting agitated.

"I don't think you did. Now apologize appropriately to Miss Swan" I insisted.

He took a deep breath and put a straight face "I'm sorry Miss Swan, I won't dance inappropriately again during the prom" he said and then looked at me with an annoyed face.

"It's ok Matt just don't do it again" Bella then conceded.

They both walked away after we dismissed them and as soon as they were out of hearing range Bella and I started cracking up!

"Oh my god you are _so _evil Edward!" Bella said laughing still

"Oh whatever you know you enjoyed it baby," I said as I took her hand and started walking her towards the dance floor.

_Tick Tock _by Kesha was just ending and a slow song was now starting.

I stood Bella in front on me and placed my right hand on her delicate waist, my left hand on her shoulder and she did the same.

"Mr. Cullen you're going to dance a slow song with me?" Bella asked with an amused expression.

"I sure will is there a problem?" I beamed back.

"No, I actually love this song" she said, as we started moving to the beat of the song.

"Me too" I responded and pulled her closer against me.

"I guess we both just confessed to a secret then" she giggled. "How fitting"

"You're right," I laughed. We were currently dancing to OneRepublic's _Secrets._

"So any other secrets you keep Miss Swan?" I teased her again.

She was looking at me in the eye and I could almost see her blush under the changing lights of the dance floor.

"I think we all have secrets Edward," she answered quietly.

She placed her head against my chest and both her arms around her neck.

"You're right about that, we all have secrets," I told her. I was trying to understand how our conversation turned into a serious one. At least that's how it felt.

"I want to confess to another secret," she said with a playful face. I guess she also felt the need to better the mood.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup" she popped the 'p'

"And what is it?" I asked as we swayed around the dance floor.

"I am truly enjoying myself tonight and I owe it all to you" she said once again looking at me in the eye.

Her eyes were sparkling and they looked beautiful.

"I'm glad you're having fun baby," I said and I kissed her forehead.

"I also have one more secret," she said and she avoided looking at me. "But I don't want you to think badly of me"

My heart started beating a little faster and I started wondering what she would say.

"I think that's impossible for me to do," I told her honestly, though I was scared shitless.

"Hmm I actually got permission to spend the night at your house…" she muttered.

I was now confused. Why would I think badly of her because she was spending the night over? She had done it before…

"You don't get it do you?" she asked, sort of amused.

"I'm sorry but I don't," I responded.

"Alice won't be home until the early morning because she is going to the school's after prom party, and Alice told me your parents wouldn't be home, so that means we're going to be alone for a while" she finished and I could definitely see the blush burning in her face.

I put two and two together and like a dumbass finally understood what she was saying.

"Oh!" _yeah very intelligent response Eddie!_

"Is that ok?" her face looked worried.

"Of course it's ok Bella, sorry I'm just being momentarily slow" I said honestly.

She laughed her musical laugh and the song ended.

"Ok Mr. Cullen, as nice as it is to be on your arms we have duties to fulfill, I'll see you later on tonight" she winked and walked away.

_Damn that woman is such a tease!_

And I get to have her all alone with me tonight. _Yeah this was definitely a good night._

The rest of the night was spent watching kids dancing and occasionally chatting with other volunteers. I really didn't know anyone so mainly I just met people.

"May I have the next dance?" I heard Alice before I saw her.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but you're too young for me, a shame that is" I said jokingly to Alice.

She hit me on my chest "Let's go you dummy, I haven't danced with you in a very long time. Plus, you're just a year and a half older than me!" she said.

_Your Guardian Angel _By Red Jumpsuit Apparatus started playing as Alice and I settled in a spot on the dance floor.

"Are you enjoying your night?" I asked as we started swaying to the music.

"Yes I am, and what makes it even better is to see you enjoying yourself Edward" she looks at me with sincerity dripping from her eyes.

"Yeah I guess it is a nice change… I don't think I've smiled so much in a long time," I confessed.

"She's good for you Edward" Alice was looking at Bella who was standing on the sidelines looking at us with a smile on her face.

"I think so too. God Ali I didn't think I would ever be able to feel alive again and then this gorgeous girl walks into my life and now I'm so changed I don't even recognize myself sometimes. Is that a bad thing?

"Of course not Edward, you were drowning in despair and when you met Bella I suppose you saw how strong she is about everything she goes through and I guess it pushed you to fight for yourself so you could be there for her" Alice responded.

"Well thank you for putting up with me while I was sulking around" I brought her closer to me and hugged her. I was truly grateful that Alice had never given up on me and although she annoyed me sometimes, I loved her and owed her more than I could ever repay.

"It was time for you to move on Edward," she said looking at me.

"I'm scared Ali," I said as I looked down.

"Don't be; trust me when I say Bella won't ever hurt you and also you already know I'm always here for you"

"Thank you. I love you Alice" she laid her head on my chest and hugged me closer.

"I just want you to be happy Eddie" she muttered the last part.

"Hey don't call me that you troll," I teased.

"I'm going to let that one slide because I don't want to stop dancing to this song; I love it. You got lucky this time!" she giggled.

"You know who won't be so lucky?" I changed the subject.

"Who?"

"Jasper; I'm going to have to talk to that kid and tell him to keep his hands to himself" I feigned indignation.

Alice smacked me on the chest and glared at me "Don't you there mess with Jasper Edward! What we do is none of your business!"

"Well I want to at least scare the dude Ali, you're my baby sister and as much as I don't want him touching you I understand it's your decision to make. Just don't let him hurt you ok?" I asked her seriously.

"Don't worry, Jasper is an angel," she beamed. "But thanks for caring so much."

The song was coming to an end and Alice and I pulled apart. I looked her in the eye and she was beaming. She looked happy and I was more than content to know that she hadn't suffered as much as I had in life. She deserved all good things in this world, and so far… she was getting them.

"Ok now go find that boy and dance with him," I ordered trying to hold the smile that was threatening to come out.

"Yes daddy!" she teased and I just laughed.

I made my way back to Bella who was talking to another girl. When she saw me she started walking towards me.

"Did you enjoy that?" she asked with a soft smile. For a second she looked sad and I was left wondering why as she smiled once again.

"Yeah I did," I smiled back. We would talk once we got home.

The prom was almost over and I was definitely getting tired. I could tell Bella was too. The prom king and Queen were announced and the last dance was also announced. Now we just had to get all this kids out of here.

The school was holding a locked–in after prom party in order to avoid kids going off to get drunk and cause accidents. I thought it was a pretty good idea.

Alice and Jasper who were about to head out with their friends, met up with Bella and I to say bye. Alice was currently talking to Bella and they were being very secretive so I took the opportunity to pull Jasper aside and scare the shit out of him. _I'm evil… I know. _

"What's up man?" Jasper asked. _So clueless… _

"I just wanted to make sure you're going to take care of Alice. She's my baby sister and I don't want her to get hurt ok?" I menaced him.

Jasper patted me on my shoulder and looked at me with a smile on his face. "I love her Edward, I won't let anything bad happen to her I promise" he finished.

"I trust you Jasper; don't make me change my mind. Have her home as soon as possible ok?"

"Thank you Edward and don't worry I will. The after prom is over at six in the morning so we'll be home around seven thirty ok?" he double-checked.

"That's fine," I told him. "And one more thing Jasper?" I asked.

"Yes Edward?"

"Please, please, don't get my baby sister pregnant! I like you Jasper; I don't want to have to kill you, got it?" I looked at him seriously once again.

Jasper had the decency to blush and internally I was doing the evil doctor laugh. "Oh my god Edward, no don't worry, that won't happen!" he reassured me.

"Ok," I smiled "Then you're free to go," I said, happily since I accomplished my mission.

I said bye to Alice next and the pixie embarrassed me to the point that I stopped feeling bad for harassing Jasper. As she was walking out with Jasper she stopped and looked at Bella and me and then screamed "have fun tonight you two!" and then she winked. _Damn Alice!_

Bella just blushed and looked down at the floor and I glared at the back of Ali's head. That girl sure could get annoying.

"Anyways" Bella said after a while "Hmm let's just finish what we have to do already… I'm tired," she mumbled, but clearly she was more embarrassed than tired.

"Sure," I smiled at her and we went our separate ways to make sure there were no students in the building.

When we were finally done inspecting the place we went to sign off with the school principal. She thanked us for volunteering and for chaperoning the prom. We really didn't mind since we both truly enjoyed it.

We walked out of the building and I opened the car door for Bella to get in and then I walked around and got in also.

"Are you hungry?" I asked as we were leaving the parking lot.

"Oh my gosh, I'm starving!" Bella moaned.

I chuckled "Alright; let's go get some food" I answered.

We were both looking for something good to eat in the area so that we could just pick it up and take it home and we finally settled for an Italian restaurant since it was Bella's favorite food. We placed our orders and ordered some raspberries lemonades while we waited for the food to be ready.

Thirty minutes later we were on our way home. Bella was very relaxed and we were both talking about the prom and what we thought of the whole experience. When we had nothing left to say or we just went quiet, Bella would start singing whatever song was playing from my iPod at the moment and I would either join her or tease her about her singing skills.

Every now and then she would take out her phone and text someone. I as usual, I didn't comment on it. I didn't feel like giving that asshole the attention he most likely wanted.

"Oh man finally! My tummy is grumbling like you have no idea!" Bella exclaimed when we pulled in the driveway of my house.

"Well let's get to it then… I'm starving too!" I complained.

I grabbed the food and gave Bella the keys to the door.

"Ok I'm going to leave this food on the kitchen you can go change if you want to baby, those heels must be killing you" I told Bella as I was heading for the kitchen.

I heard her agree as I reached the kitchen. As I was placing our dessert in the fridge, I couldn't help but think of how ordinary our actions seemed and I envisioned my life not long from now in my own house with Bella and I. _What the fuck? Yeah I got it bad!_

I went to my room to change into some sweat pants and an old high school T-shirt. I left my socks on and then headed downstairs. When I passed by Alice's room I saw the lights off so I figured Bella had already changed.

When I entered the kitchen I saw Bella taking plates from the kitchen cabinets and I noticed what she was wearing.

She had on a pair of cotton _short _shorts that were navy blue with green squares, a navy blue tank top, and green socks. _She looked gorgeous._

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes," I teased.

She turned around immediately and blushed, "Oh shut up Cullen… let's eat!"

We started devouring our food and I was having a hard time concentrating on swallowing since every now and then Bella would moan and talk about how good the food was when all I could think about was how good _she looked!_

Every now and then Bella would receive text messages and she would just scowl at her phone and reply. I tried not to think about them too much since I know who it was that was texting her. All I wanted to do was enjoy this time that I had with her.

When we started digging in into our frozen tiramisu, her phone rang and I saw Bella freeze. She then looked at me and then, back at her phone.

I took a deep breath, "Go ahead and answer," I told her.

She looked at me, swallowed and then answered the phone. I tried to contain my anger in and not show it. _This was her night… I couldn't mess it up by being angry!_

I couldn't help hearing her side of the conversation anyways since I couldn't move around…

_Hello… I'm in bed already, it's late… nothing much, just homework as usual…. Huh?... no I haven't, why are you asking me this?... I'm in bed and I'm tired, we'll talk later ok?... because I'm tired! _She screamed. I was starting to get more and more pissed off by the second.

_Ok fine, what do you want to talk about?_ She rolled her eyes. _Ok, let's see, hmm I got up, made breakfast, I cleaned the kitchen, I cleaned my room, then I cleaned the rest of the house, I vacummed, I washed clothes, I folded clothes, I took a shower and then I did homework. Happy?... ugh look I'm going back to bed. We'll talk tomorrow. Bye… yeah me too… yes, I said yes already!... uhuh.. ok bye. Yeah me too, bye. _And she then hung up the phone.

She sighed as she slammed the phone on the counter of the kitchen were currently eating.

"Everything ok?" I asked although I knew the answer without having to ask.

"I'm just tired of this already" she said softly.

I sat there quietly for a while and she did the same. Eventually she started eating her tiramisu once again and I found the courage to ask what I had been dying to know for so long now.

"Bella can I ask you a question?" I asked quietly while looking down at my tiramisu.

"Yeah sure" she muttered.

I thought once more of what I knew was going to happen next. The answer to the following question could either make us or break us and I was nervous to know the outcome.

Tonight we were both going to have to confess to our secrets. She would answer my question because she couldn't just keep hiding this any longer, and I would have to tell her my secret. _What will she think of me then?_ I took a deep breath. I said a silent prayer, something I hadn't done in a long while… _Please let us be ok after this…_

I looked at her straight in the eye and asked my question.

"Why won't you leave him?"

**A/N: ok so what did you guys think? Enchanting enough?... review please! So what will happen next? I can't believe how far things have gotten already… the next couple of chapters are crucial… and I'm getting nervous!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	21. Second Chances

**A/N: so here is the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing I'm glad you all liked the prom. My prom sucked so at least Bella had a good one :-) please review this chapter as well.**

_**This chapter might be a little hard to read so you've been warned… PLEASE REVIEW. **_

**Disclaimer:** All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyers…. Thanks!

**Chapter Song:** _I Surrender _by Celine Dion

**Second Chances**

I'd surrender everything

To feel the chance to live again

I reach to you; I know you can feel it too

We'd make it through

A thousand dreams, I still believe

I'd make you give them all to me

I'd hold you in my arms and never let go

I surrender

_Right here, right now_

_I'd give my life to live again_

_I'll break free, take me_

_My everything; I surrender all to you_

_Right now_

_I'd give my life to live again_

_I'll break free, take me_

_My everything; I surrender all to you…._

**BPOV:**

"_Why won't you leave him?"_

Well I definitely didn't see that one coming. I felt my heart speeding up and suddenly my food felt like it all wanted to come back up. I pushed my cup of tiramisu aside and looked at Edward. He had a guarded expression on his face, almost as if he was waiting for me to get angry. _I wasn't. _

I thought about our night. It had been magical. I had really enjoyed tonight even though we had spent most of the time on our duties as chaperones of the prom. Edward looked amazing and according to him, I didn't look so bad either.

Tonight my confidence had been at its highest and it had been a while since I'd felt this good. Every now and then my mood would be crushed when I received a text message from James, but other than that, my night had been perfect and I couldn't have asked for anything more from Edward.

Now that he asked the question that I could no longer keep denying an answer to, I saw our night taking a different turn than what I had planned.

When Alice informed me that Edward and I would have the house to ourselves for an entire night; I was initially nervous but after thinking it through I saw it as my opportunity to just be with Edward. We didn't have to do anything; I just wanted to _be _with him, alone, enjoying a great night. We could've watched a movie for all I cared, as long as I got to spend the night in his arms everything would have been all right.

But now it was time to tell Edward the truth. I couldn't just keep on hiding the other part of my life from him. He deserved to know the truth; he had been there for me, it was the least I could do.

"You really want to know?" I asked the obvious.

He looked at me with weary eyes, "I want you to _want _to tell me Bella. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I want you to feel that you can trust me enough to tell me what it is that it's holding you back from me and keeping you attached to _him." _he said the last part as if it was almost a derogatory term or some word that was not part of his vocabulary.

I thought about how to tell him and how our night had _really _not gone as I had anticipated.

"Hmm can we just enjoy our night for a little bit longer..?" I muttered.

"Bella…"

"I promise I'll tell you everything Edward, I just want to enjoy tonight; please?" I pleaded.

He took a deep breath and finished his tiramisu "Ok" he sighed.

"Thank you" I looked him in the eye.

"So what do you want to do?" he asked as he got up to throw away the plastic container he had been eating from.

"Hmm do you want to watch a movie?" I asked him.

He smiled sweetly at me but at the same time I could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. "That's perfect baby"

We went up to his room and settled for a movie to watch on his laptop. We were cuddling together on his bed and I felt so safe and so warm, as I had never felt before. For some reason I felt like trying Edward's patience and asked him if we could watch _Pride & Prejudice, _one of my favorite movies ever and surprisingly enough, he accepted and went to fetch it downstairs.

I don't understand why I was surprised but I blamed it all on habit. James threw a fit any time I wanted a movie I liked. Either he said they were too cheesy or that I was stupid for believing in fairy tale endings or whatever shit the movie was about. Edward was nothing like that. He admitted to have read the book before and also commented that the movie was for the most part pretty accurate so he enjoyed watching it from time to time.

As we sat there I couldn't help but wondering how to tell Edward the truth. I knew I wasn't going to leave anything out but it was still making nervous and I didn't know how to say it all. I wish I didn't have such a sad and pathetic story to tell him but I didn't; all I had was the painful truth that I have been trying to hide even from myself.

When the movie ended Edward asked if I wanted something to drink and I said yes. He went downstairs and I made a quick trip to the rest room. When I was coming back I looked at the clock and saw that it was now past midnight. We had to start talking already or Alice and Jasper were going to catch us in the middle of my tears and Edward's rage, which I was sure, would not be absent during this conversation.

"Here you go baby," Edward said handing me a cup of raspberry ice tea. I took a tentative sip and then set it down on his bedside table.

I took a deep breath and then sighed, "Hmm can we talk now?" I looked at him and his face quickly registered what I said. I saw him swallow hard and fear was palpable in his eyes. He just nodded and placed the cup on the table also.

He came near me and took my hand, his eyes never leaving mine. He then started pulling me towards the deck outside of his room. When we stepped outside it was really chilly so he went back inside to get some covers and pillows for the both of us.

He still hadn't said a word and I was having a nervous breakdown on the inside. I knew he was going to be furious about the things James had done to me, but would he be mad at me for allowing it? Would he be angered at me for not doing a single thing about it? _I hope he doesn't hate me._

He finally sat down in the chair next to me but moved it so that he was facing me. He took my feet and placed them on his lap and started pressing them soothingly with his hands.

"Bella you look really tense; you know you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to right?" he finally spoke. He looked nervous but pained at once.

"I want to Edward, I'm just scared you'll be angry at me and won't want to even look at me anymore" I confessed.

He pressed my feet once again and sighed, "Bella I could never hate you, no matter what you have to say, I promise I will try to understand your view and I swear that I won't hate you for It." he said.

His words comforted me and gave me the courage I was lacking to tell him my sullen story.

"Ok," I muttered. "I'm going to start from the beginning then?" I asked

"Whatever you need baby" he told me earnestly.

And it was with that, that I started telling Edward my story.

"I was in high school still when I started dating James." I started.

"I met him at church and though we barely spoke, the few words we shared always left me curious about him. I've always been shy so I never said anything. Then as time went on he told me he liked me, and at the time all I saw was how kind and amiable he was. He talked to my mom and dad and he got on their good side. They saw a boy who had a job and attended church so he was on their good graces. So we started dating and things were great for a while." I paused

"He was funny and dorky but I liked that; he was also a gentleman, and he took me out to eat and we went out to places and had fun with a bunch of his and mine friends. He gave me gifts and told me things every girl wants to hear from a boy. We got along great and I was overjoyed that someone liked me. I fell in love with him-or who I thought he was" I chuckled sarcastically.

My heart was aching as I was replaying all this memories and knew that the worse was to come. _Please God help me!_

Edward was looking at me intently almost like I would vanish if he even blinked. His eyes were focused, but I could see curiosity, anger, and love all at once in them.

_I loved him for that._

"As we got to know each other and time started passing James got… more demanding" I continued. This was it… this would make us or break us. _Please let us be ok._ I prayed once again.

**EPOV:**

My heart was racing a thousand miles an hour. I was scared to hear this next part; to have all of my fears confirmed all at once… I didn't know how I would take this.

"What do you mean more demanding?" I asked softly. My voice sounded hoarse from how quiet I had been and for the lack of swallowing.

Bella's eyes were filled with pain and I knew how much she hated telling me this and it was killing me to see it all in her eyes.

"James wanted us to have sex," she continued and my blood started to boil but I remained immobile and reined all my fury in. She was no longer looking at me but at her lap instead and I knew that the worse was to come.

"He felt that if I really loved him I shouldn't have had a problem with it. Honestly I didn't. I wanted to show James my love but I didn't feel like sex was the answer to that. I wasn't ready for that. I didn't want that.

"So we did other things instead. I'm not going to go into details because I really value your sanity Edward and because I don't want to hurt you," she muttered still not looking at me.

"Bella, please spare my feelings, I want you to unload all the pain I see in your eyes Bella; please help me carry your burden, I want to help you" I begged her.

I saw a small tear roll down her cheek and as much as I wanted to wipe it away and stop this so she wouldn't cry any more, I knew this is what she needed. She needed to cry all of her anguish and pain out.

"Whenever we would go on dates he would stop at some random place and ask me to do things with him. When I refused him, he then told me he would settle for other things, and that's how all this mess got started. He wanted sex but I didn't so he settled for a hand job or for a blow job or any other degrading thing you can possibly think of. He always found a way to find a lonely place and he would guilt me into doing sexual favors for him. If it wasn't that then it was a picture or some video of me with little clothes on and stuff like that.

"Apart from that, James also started becoming jealous. At first I thought it was cute when he would tell me that other guys were checking me out and he didn't like it; no one had ever been jealous and protective of me before and it felt nice. But then, his jealousy started suffocating me. He started checking my phone, my email, and even started being selective about who I spoke with. We started arguing a lot and then we eventually stopped going out to places because I didn't want him to embarrass me in public with his jealousy. He got angry when I didn't want to go out and that led to more arguments." She continued.

"He then started complaining about how I dressed. He didn't like me wearing fitted clothes so I was reduced to wearing t-shirts all the time. It then got to the point that he would go to spy on me while I was at school since he had dropped out at the time. He didn't want me talking to any guys and not even my male teachers because they apparently had a thing for me. He alienated me from all my friends and from everyone I knew and in order to avoid fighting with him I eventually gave up all my extracurricular activities and all my friends. I resigned my position as the president of the teaching club and didn't attend my Honor Society meetings anymore." She wiped one more tear from her face and that tear was like acid that was slithering slowly and painfully through my body.

"That seemed to make him somewhat happy but his insistency for sex didn't wane. He kept on insisting and I kept on denying him. The arguments got worse and he blamed it all on me and my denying him. I felt guilty but at the same time I was scared. I didn't want to end up pregnant at such a young age and I also didn't want to disappoint my mom and dad. They had always told me that they expected me to be smart about guys and to not have sex before getting married. But I was sick of arguing with James so… I eventually gave in. "

She was now sobbing. The tears hadn't stopped and I could feel my own eyes watering. _Why her? Why did this happen to her? She doesn't deserve this!_

I got up and pulled her against me. She sobbed even louder but hugged me with great strength. I pulled her with me as I sat back down. She was now sitting on my lap and her head was buried in my chest.

"It's ok beautiful, I'm right here" I comforted her. My heart hadn't slowed down and just imagining all the suffering she had gone through made my heart constrict to the point that I thought it would stop functioning. I was amazed at how strong this beautiful girl in my arms was. She put on a strong face every day and never once complained about her life. She had me in awe.

I draped the blanket on top of her and rubbed her back softly and her sobs slowed down a bit. I was looking straight out to the woods in front of my deck but everything was so dark, just like how I felt.

"I'm so stupid" she muttered quietly. I pulled her away from my chest so I could look at her.

"Why do you say that?" my tone sounded harsher than I had intended.

"Because I believed him!" she screamed as she got up from my lap and walked off to the side of the deck. She was looking out and I could only see part of her face from the little light that came from my room.

"I believed every single thing he ever told me, I believed him when he said he loved me, and I believed him when he said he would never hurt me" she said as she wiped away her own tears.

_He said he would never hurt me_

Those words resonated in my head. What did she mean with that?

"What do you mean Bella? I asked not getting up from my seat… I was _so scared _to hear the next part.

"I mean exactly that Edward. He promised he wouldn't hurt me and I believed him and what did he do? He's hurt me every step of the way. He has broken me down and beaten me to a pulp and reduced me to nothing by humiliating me. And what have I done? Nothing… so you tell me, which one of us is the pathetic one? Him for doing it or me for allowing it?" she asked and looked at me with anger on her face but I didn't register much. I wasn't processing much; I just had to get one fact straight…

"He's hit you before Bella?" I muttered softly trying to contain every single thought that seeped into my mind. _Please say no, please say no…_ I was looking at her straight in the eye and she didn't need to verbalize her answer for me to understand it.

I couldn't possibly put into words how I felt at that moment when everything I ever feared was being confirmed right in front of me. I felt despair, sadness, hopelessness, but above all, I felt anger. I wanted more than anything else to have that asswipe in front of me so I could beat the living shit out of him and then rip him to shreds.

I felt myself trembling from the anger and before I even realized it, I got up and walked back inside my room. I went straight to the rest room and starting washing my face. I felt like I was boiling from so much anger and the cool water was an attempt to burn out the fire but it wasn't working. My eyes were burning and even though I was splattering myself with water, I could also feel the tears falling down my face.

Images of Tanya started rushing through my head and I was realizing that this was all too much to take in. I suspected that Tanya's story was repeating itself in Bella but to have it confirmed was just too painful. The wounds I had from Tanya's death weren't sealed yet and I could feel each one of them opening back up as I heard Bella's story.

_Bella…. Shit she's outside!_

I went back out to the deck and found Bella sitting on the floor still facing the trees. She had her knees drawn up against her chest and she looked really calm but I knew if I looked in her eyes, she would be everything but.

"Bella?" I called.

She didn't look at me at all she just kept staring toward the trees and I was just standing there looking at her. We were both quiet until she spoke again.

"I understand if you're mad at me Edward, believe me, you couldn't be madder than I am. The saddest part of it all is that I would give _anything_ to go back in time and be the girl I once was. Even if I were to be lonely all over again, I would take that any time of day just to forget the last two years of my life. But I guess I can't do that. I got myself in this mess and everything that has happened has been my fault so now I need to deal with the consequences" she said with a saddened voice.

I walked to where she was at and sat next to her. I took her hand and looked at her. I waited for her to look at me and when she did I tried to convey my feelings to her.

"Bella, I want you to please, please, get this through your head: what he has done to you is _not _your fault ok? He is just manipulating you so that you feel that way. Bella there's nothing wrong with trying to be you! If you want to dress how you want to dress then that is _your _right. No one can tell you any differently, not him and not me. People like James _like_ control Bella, they want to dictate every aspect of your life, and they are overly jealous, even of the people closest to you. They force you to do things you don't want to do and to top it all off they make you feel like you are the insensitive one, but Bella you aren't any of those things. You are sweet and calm and at the same time you are independent and in control of your actions. You don't have to be with him Bella!" I pleaded.

I didn't want for Bella to act too late; I wanted her as far away from that asshole as possible. Her life was at enough risk as it was already. I wouldn't be able to take it if something were to happen to her.

"Edward I know all those things about James already. I've known them all along" she whispered but she still looked sad.

"Bella, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah"

"Why don't you tell your parents?" I asked. She immediately looked away and wiped another tear from her face. I rubbed my hand with hers and tried to warm it up. It was cold outside and she still had the blanket wrapped around herself but she was shivering but I figured the shivers had nothing to do with the cold.

"You don't understand how my parents would react to all of this Edward" she said still looking away. I waited for her to continue talking.

"My mom and dad adore James; they think he is the perfect boyfriend. He has a job, loves talking to them, goes to church, and adores his girlfriend, what could possibly be wrong with him? On top of it all if my parents ever found out that I had sex with James they would kill me themselves. My mom would probably disown me and my dad would never talk to me again. I can't live with that Edward. I can't hurt my parents like that. Do you have any idea how disappointed they would be to find out that their baby girl had sex with some guy before she even got married? They would hate me for the rest of their lives!" she finished.

"Bella they're your parents, they would understand if you tell them what's been truly going on" I pushed. I couldn't imagine any parents who would disown their daughter just because she had sex with some guy who turned out to be an abusive asshole.

"Edward he threatened to kill my dad" she whispered.

My heart started accelerating once more. "What do you mean?" I asked

"He told me that if I ever told anyone about him hurting me that he would hurt my dad. Edward, _I know_ James, I know he's capable of doing just that and more. I'm so scared and I don't want my dad to get hurt. I couldn't possibly live with myself if something happened to him."

"Bella you have to get away from this guy, he's no good for you" I muttered the obvious.

"I should've thought about that before getting involved with him" she whispered back.

We both sat there in silence and I was racking my brain trying to figure out how to get Bella to say something. It was then that it all hit me.

"Bella let's go back inside, I want to show you something" I told her getting up and helping her up. She looked at me with questions in her eyes and I just started pulling her behind me. I was trying not to think too much about what I was going to do next but I had to make Bella see that being with James would kill her one way or another. I couldn't live without her and this was the last option I had available.

We got to my bed and I told Bella to sit. She followed my instructions while I walked into my closet. I looked in some of the coats and then leaned down and picked up the box where everything I needed was at.

I would show Bella what silence did to my life, and even more, _what it did to my Tanya._

**BPOV:**

Edward came back to the bed with a box and something else in his hand. I was confused at how randomly he had changed the conversation. _How did we go from me telling my story to him showing me something?_

He sat in front of me and placed everything in between us. I looked at him and he looked nervous but determined at the same time. I wanted to know what he was trying to show me but at the same time he's nervousness scared me. _Was this the part where he told me to get out?_

"Bella I want to show you something that I've been having for a while now. These are some of my most treasured memories and they are very special to me. They hold my past with them. A past that I hadn't been able to let go of for a very long time but thanks to a special girl I was able to leave behind." He finished with a nervous smile.

I looked at him and then looked down at the box and then back at him.

"Open it" he encouraged but now I could almost see a trace some sadness in his face.

I slowly lifted the top of the box and what I saw in the box was not exactly what I was expecting.

The box contained some dried flowers, some envelopes that obviously contained pictures in them, some ticket stubs, and a white envelope that was now stained red. I looked back at Edward and in his face I saw something that I hadn't seen in a very long time.

I had a flashback to when I first met Edward. He was quiet, reserved, and serious. But what I had noticed the most was the pain that was reflected in his eyes. It was that same pain that I had seen that day that was now in Edward's face.

"Edward what's wrong?" I asked. My heart was accelerating and I was scared because I understood what was happening right now. Edward was going to tell me what I had wanted to hear for so long now. He was going to tell me about his past.

He took a deep breath and looked down at the box once more. "When I was in California I had a girlfriend named Tanya. This is she" he opened the envelope with the pictures and took out a picture and handed it to me.

I took the picture in my hands and looked down. The girl in the picture was beautiful. She was a strawberry blonde with sparkling blue eyes. She was the kind of girl every other girl would be jealous of; she was the epitome of perfection. She also reminded me of Rosalie our English teacher… just beautiful.

"She's beautiful" I muttered and then looked back at Edward. He had a small smile on his face and I felt a pang of hurt because it was when I met his eyes that I saw something new: _Edward loved this girl. _

My heart started working double time and now I was wondering why Edward was showing me this. Would he be getting back with her?

"Yeah she is beautiful" he sighed. "She always was beautiful" he muttered.

"Was?" I asked with great curiosity.

Edward once again got serious and then looked at me in the eye. "Tanya was killed by her ex-boyfriend." He said while looking away with a far-away look.

I didn't know what to say to that. _Holy shit didn't even start to cover it. _

"I'm sorry Edward" I told him looking at him in the face.

Just by looking at Edward I could tell how much Tanya's death had affected him and I could see the pain etched on his face from all that he must have suffered when she died.

"Don't be sorry Bella. The reason Tanya is dead is my fault" he said in a low voice.

I was now totally confused and couldn't make any sense of what Edward was saying. Why would it be his fault that her ex killed her?

"Edward can you please explain what you mean please?" I asked calmly. I didn't want him to think that I was judging him without knowing the story behind all this mess.

"Tanya and I had been dating for about half a year whenever she told me about Marcus. She and Marcus had dated a while before she and I got together and he had been very abusive with her. He mistreated her and forced her to do all kinds of things that she didn't want to do. She suffered so much with him and it took her a long time to finally leave him. When she did, he took it the hard way and gave her a hard time. When she told me that stuff it was hard for me to believe that she had been through so much, she seemed so serene and calm and not how I would have thought a person who had been through so many traumas should be. She was eventually ok and had moved on. We were both in love and getting ready to graduate" he paused and started looking for another picture.

He gave it to me and in the picture was Edward wearing a baseball hat, cargo shorts and no shirt. He looked handsome as only he can and his smile was enough proof of how happy he was. He also looked much younger even though his age couldn't have been less than 17. In his hands, though he was holding a stuffed teddy bear that was wearing a tuxedo. I looked at Edward for an explanation.

"I gave Tanya that Teddy bear and asked her to take him to prom but that I had to come along as well" he laughed and I giggled.

"What did she say?" I asked.

Edward looked at me and he seemed happy but I knew he was smiling because he was remembering that day.

"She said that she really liked the teddy bear so she would put up with me at prom if it meant that she could keep it" he smiled.

"Lucky you" I muttered.

His face lost the smile and I knew the hardest part was coming up. This was the part where his happy ending messed all up.

"Not so much." He said and then he took out the object he had been holding in his hand earlier. It was a blue box and I immediately recognized what it was. _Tiffany's! _He opened it and inside was a beautiful necklace. It had a heart pendant that said _I love you _in it.

"A week before prom we were about to celebrate our one year anniversary and had made all the arrangements to go out to dinner. I told her I would pick her up at her house but I wanted to wrap this box in a couple of bigger boxes so that it would take her forever to open it, so I called her and told her that we could meet up at the restaurant instead and she agreed. When I finally got to the restaurant an ambulance was there and Tanya was on the floor." He said.

A teardrop rolled down his cheek and I wanted to wipe it away but wisely held back. Edward's face changed to one of anger and I was confused once again.

"Tanya had been shot in the parking lot of the restaurant when she was getting off the car. She was rushed to the hospital and was pronounced dead about two hours after arriving. No one knew what had happened just that she had been shot. When the police started interviewing people and they got to me they asked me if I knew of anyone who would be holding a grudge against Tanya and I remembered Marcus. I told them and they immediately went looking for him but couldn't find him. He went missing for a couple of weeks but then I started receiving threatening letters from him. That was when my family and I moved to Forks because the investigators couldn't find Marcus and he was a threat to us. Two months after we arrived at Forks Marcus confessed to everything and shot himself before the police arrived to the place where he was hiding."

Edward was still looking down at the necklace and was now passing his finger through it. I couldn't even begin to imagine how much pain he must have been in just by telling me all of this.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me to attend her funeral and to see her casket. It has been the hardest and the most painful thing I have ever done in my life. What made it even worse was to know that it was my entire fault. If it wasn't because of me, Tanya would still be alive" he muttered, closing the box in his hand.

"Why do you think it's your fault?" I asked still not understanding why he kept on saying that.

"Because, I should've picked her up at her house like we agreed to in the first place! I should have kept her as safe as possible once I knew that Marcus still hadn't let go of her. Tanya and I both knew how Marcus was and what he was capable of and yet I did nothing to protect her. I just left her unprotected for him to do as he pleased with her and when he found the chance, he ended her life." He sobbed.

"I deserve to be dead not her. She was so full of life and was the most innocent girl who didn't deserve an ounce of all the suffering that asshole made her go through. You see this envelope here?" he asked picking up the envelope that was stained with red.

"This is all that is left of Tanya's life. This is her blood. I had bought her flowers and a card to give her that night and when I saw the commotion at the restaurant and figured out it was her, I dropped everything on the floor. After they declared her death I went back to the parking lot. I didn't know what I was looking for, maybe I thought that if I went back to it everything would go back to normal, I don't know; but when I got there all I found were the flowers that had all been trampled on by the paramedics and the crowd and the envelope that now has Tanya's blood all over it." He could barely finish the last part.

Edward was now sobbing and I had never seen him this way. I could feel the tears dripping down my cheek. Edward was in so much pain and there was no way I could make it better.

"Oh Edward" I said throwing myself at him and hugging him. He sobbed into my shoulder and hugged me back.

"Bella I don't want you to be next" he muttered through his sobs.

When he said that it took me by surprise, so I didn't respond.

He pulled away and put everything back in the box. He got up and went back to his closet. When he was coming back he was still wiping away his tears. He got on the bed and kneeled in front of me.

"After Tanya's death I was left broken and empty. I didn't smile, I didn't eat, I didn't go out, and I might as well have been dead. I started drinking a lot to numb out the pain but even then, I just wanted to die for a really long time. My parents wanted me to see a shrink but I refused and just kept drowning in my pain." He then looked at me straight in the eyes.

"But then I met a certain girl who was nothing like the others. She was shy and quiet but at the same time confident and courageous. Believe it or not this girl got me out of my funk. I don't know how but she just did" he said.

His hand reached out to caress my cheek and I let him. I leaned into his palm and closed my eyes.

"You saved me Bella" he said.

"Bella I've been given a second chance. I have the opportunity to do something this time, not to just be quiet and let things happen, no! I can do _something _this time. Bella you also deserve a second chance. You deserve to find love and to be happy with just being you. You deserve to be cherished and never to be mistreated. You deserve better than him Bella" he finished.

I looked at him and saw everything I had ever wanted and dreamed of. I saw a guy who was caring, compassionate, respectful, kind, loving, funny, intelligent, and yet unique. He was perfection and I loved him with every cell in my body and I wanted to tell him just that.

"Edward?"

"I know you think that Tanya's death is your fault but it isn't" pain crossed his face but he took a deep breath.

"Bella I should have taken better care of Tanya. I knew how Marcus was and I shouldn't have been as careless and leave her unprotected, or even better, I should have told someone about it, but I never did and now it has become one of the biggest regrets of my life."

"Edward, I understand why you decided to tell me all about her. Tanya chose to not say anything and as harsh as this may sound, that was her decision and those were the consequences that she was dealt. The same thing applies to me. I have chosen to not say anything about James to anyone and the consequences are all mine to deal with; not anyone else's" I argued.

"Bella but you don't have to do this alone. You have to tell someone! How do you think I would feel knowing that something happened to you and I said nothing? Is it not enough that I already lost someone I cared about because of the same reason? Do I have to go through that again? I don't want to lose you Bella! You have been the only person that has been able to get me back from the dark and the walking dead; I don't want to go back to being that person all over again. I know that if something ever happened to you I would never resurface from that hurt." He said looking down into his lap.

His sincerity caught me unguarded and my heart started hyperventilating. I didn't want Edward to suffer because of me; he had enough suffering for a lifetime already. I thought about everything that this meant. _I have to leave James, and I have to tell my parents everything!_ But the more I thought about it the more I came to the same conclusion: anything that my parents told me or did when I told them the truth would be worth it as long as I got rid of James and I still had Edward with me.

I took Edwards hand with mine and looked at him in the eye. "Edward I promise I'll tell my parents everything as soon as possible ok?" I asked him.

His face registered surprise in my statement but then a little sad smile played across his face. "Are you sure beautiful? I don't want you to feel like you don't have another option" he said.

"Edward I can't take living this way anymore, it's unbearable. I have felt imprisoned for almost 3 years now and I can't take it for one more second. At some point in time my parents will find out about everything and that will make it even worse so I might as well tell them now. And above all Edward, I don't want you to be worried about me. I don't want you to have to hurt because of me; you have had enough sufferings to go through already, I love you and I can't do that to you." I finished.

Before I could even know what was happening, Edward had pushed me back against the bed and was kissing me with a passion I had never seen before in him.

I immediately threw myself into the kiss and dug my hands into his hair. His tongue caressed my lower lip and I gave him the entrance he wanted. When his tongue entered my mouth I felt a wave of heat go through my body and I wanted more. One of my hands stared traveling up and down his back and feeling his whole weight against me heightened the experience.

When he finally allowed me to breathe, his mouth went down to my neck where he was placing open mouthed kisses. I threw my head back in order to give him more access; I didn't want this sensation to go away.

"Oh Edward!" I panted, and he just kept up the slow but amazing torture. With as much force as I could use, I pushed Edward off and forced myself on top of him so that I was now straddling him.

I looked at his eyes and we were both panting crazily. "Oh Bella, I love you so much" he panted.

The moment he said that some switch went off in me and I just wanted to be as close as possible to Edward as I could.

I leaned down and kissed him with all the passion I could muster and my hands attacked his wild hair once again. Edward's hands were now exploring my body. He was moving them up and down my legs and his touch felt amazing.

I moved down to kiss his neck and I started trying to pull up his shirt. When I had his shirt up to his torso already I felt his hands stop me. I sat up and looked at him with what I'm sure was a puzzled expression.

"Bella" he started as he sat up as well. I was still straddling him so whenever he sat up I could feel the proof of his arousal on my back.

He was looking at me now while we were both still breathing hard. "Gosh you're fucking beautiful" he muttered and smiled, while looking away.

"Then why are we stopping?" I complained.

"Bella I love you and whenever this happens" he said pointing between me and him "I want us both to be completely rid of all this mess. I am not going to make love to you and then send you back to him, that would make me feel like I'm using you" he said.

"But you're not, I know better" I argued.

"Yeah well humor me would you? I don't want to feel like a jackass. Plus how cliché is it to have sex the night of prom?" he chuckled. When I thought about it I started chuckling myself.

"Yeah I guess you're right" I conceded.

"Duh I always am" he teased.

We were looking at each other now. I thought back at how our night had gone and even though we both had been crying over our misfortunes in life, I had a good time tonight and I wouldn't change it at all.

"I love you" I muttered.

"I love you too" he answered back as he leaned and gave me a sweet kiss on my lips.

"Now let's hit the hay young lady, my sister will be here early in the morning and you know she's going to question you about every little thing we did tonight" he smiled sadly.

We both lied down and cuddled together. I lied there thinking about everything that had been said tonight and I was quietly strategizing about what I was going to do with James. I knew I had to get rid of him, not for Edward as much as for me. I needed to this _for me! _

After a while of just thinking I was ready to get knocked out but I wanted to say something.

"Edward?" I called.

"Huh?" he mumbled.

"Tanya would be so proud of who you have become." I told him.

He stayed quiet for a while and I thought he had fallen asleep so I closed my eyes and started drifting off to sleep as well. I think I heard Edward mutter though but I couldn't be sure.

"I hope she is" he muttered.

And with that I drifted off.

I was happy right now but I knew that the hardest part of it all was ahead and I had to figure out my game plan. I _need_ to get rid of James before he completely destroys my life like Marcus did with Tanya. I wanted to start living my life again and like I had told Edward, I would give anything to go back and be happy again and in order to do that I needed to break free from James. _There's simply no other way out._

**A/N: so there you have it folks… was it what you thought it would be? What do you want to see happening next? There's also some things Bella left out of her confession don't you think? **_**Please Review!**_


	22. In The End

**A/N:** wow it's been a while… sorry? This semester literally kicked my almost non existing arse!

On a more positive note: I got ACCEPTED into the university of my dreams so I'm very proud of myself for that! But I hope you guys like this chapter.

Also I dedicate this chapter to _**SthepanieMeyerRules**_for being the **ONLY ONE** who posted a comment about the last chapter! Honey you are truly my motivation! Thanks!

**Disclaimer:** All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyers…. She's the genius

**Chapter Song:** _In The End _By Linkin Park

**In The End**

I tried so hard, and got so far

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

I had to fall, to lose it all

But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

**BPOV:**

The semester was winding down… we had about a month left of class and then it was over. _Thinking about things that should be over….ugh!_

I was stalling and I knew it! It had been almost three weeks since I made the decision to break up with James and yet, he was coming over this weekend to visit.

Edward hadn't mentioned it again. We simply didn't talk about the subject. When we were together, we talked about everything but James. It's not that we forgot he was there; it was just too painful to think about him and we didn't want him marring our time together. Yet, every time my phone buzzed with a text message or rang that specific ring tone, I would see disappointment and hurt flash across Edward's eyes.

I know Edward was trying to be patient with me but at the same time I could see him getting really nervous about James. He didn't want James hurting me again and he was uncomfortable with not telling anyone about the things he did. I would often catch him looking at my arms trying to spot any bruises and when he caught me watching him, he would quickly look away, but I knew… I knew he was hurting as well and I hated it.

We saw each other at school and I tried to spend as much time as possible with him in Forks but we never ventured out of his house. I didn't mind. I had gotten to know Carlisle and Esmé better and I had never been such good friends with anybody as I was with Alice. She is an amazing friend. The Cullens made me feel accepted in their home and though I suspected that Esmé knew about James, she never made me feel inferior or like I was a whore. Edward had mentioned that as long as I wasn't married to some old man and he was happy, Esmé would accept me in her home. I loved her for that.

Things at home were the same as always.

I busied myself doing chores the days I wasn't at school. I cleaned, I cooked, I mowed the lawn… and I didn't complain. I had become more accepting of the fact that the communication with my parents was not getting any better. And though it hurt to realize that, I also realized that it was my fault and that maybe someday in the future I could fix my relationship with my parents. Although I wasn't naïve about it; I knew that very soon my mom and dad would hate me for what I had done and that things were going to get worse at home but I guess I still had hope.

I was currently sitting in the benches next to the college's lake with Edward. We had just gotten out of English class and I had told my parents yesterday that I would be staying a little later to do some research in the library so they didn't expect me home yet.

Honestly I was tired and I wanted to go to bed and rest but I preferred spending time with Edward. I wouldn't see him at all this weekend since James would be here and I knew that from this weekend on things would change. I had made a decision.

"You've been quiet today" Edward commented.

"I'm going to do it this weekend" I muttered while throwing some bread that I had brought from home to feed the fish in the lake.

Edward who was currently sitting next to me with his backpack on his lap stayed quiet for a while. I looked at him and found him starring right back at me. A million emotions flashed through his eyes but fear being the prominent one.

"You sure?" he asked, his eyes smoldering into mine.

"Not really" I answered looking away.

Edward took a piece of bread and threw in the lake. Two big fished jump at it and fought for it until the bigger one won and swam away with the chunk of bread.

"Why aren't you sure?" he asked.

I thought about what to say. I tried to find a specific reason why I couldn't bring myself to end this once and for all but I kept coming back to the same thing over and over again.

"Edward, I've spend almost the last three years of my life with James. Whether those years were good or bad it doesn't change the fact that it's three years. For those three years, I have become a different person. I don't talk to my parents anymore, they don't talk to me, I dumped all of my friends, I don't go out anymore, I have alienated myself from everything and everyone and I guess I'm scared" I said hoping that he would understand.

"Scared?" he looked at me confused.

"I'm scared of lots of things Edward. I'm scared that I won't be able to be me after all of this is done. I'm scared that I'm going to lose myself. You might not think it's possible but trust me I know my parents. They aren't going to take this lightly. They're going to be furious and I can only imagine the things they'll say. I'm scared of their rejection. They're my parents and I love them and I never meant to disappoint them but I did and now I have to face the music."

"Bella, your parents will still love you no matter what you say to them" Edward comforted me. I hated being in public with him because I knew that if we were in his room he would be holding me in his arms right now and softly caressing my hair so that I could calm down.

He sighed "you know what? Let's talk about this tomorrow, I hate being next to you and not being able to touch you" he said angrily.

I nodded and we changed the subject although I couldn't really get the whole mess out of my head even if I tried.

It was Friday and we were in Edward's bed. His parents were at work and Alice was at school. I had arrived early today since I had gotten in the habit of waking up super early to complete all of my chores and enjoy my time with Edward.

"Have I told you your lips are very soft?" Edward muttered from above me.

Although Edward and I had been dating for a while now, things had never escalated past the point they had the day I came rushing to his house after James had left. It's not that we didn't want to; it's just we decided it would be best to wait for our situation to get better before we even attempted a physical relationship.

_But we wanted to… who wouldn't?_

It amazed me how differently I reacted to Edward than I did to James. Although James was constantly telling me how attracted he was to me and how much he wanted to 'fuck me' I was just repulsed by him and any thought of touching him was nauseating. Yet, Edward told me my lips were soft and I wanted to show him other parts of me that were also soft. _I wanted everything with him. _Yet, I held back as much as he did.

"Yours are very soft too" I answered back looking into his eyes.

He stared straight into my eyes, "are you sure you're going to go through with this tomorrow?" he asked with fear in his eyes. I knew what he meant.

I couldn't find my voice so I just nodded. I hadn't slept the whole week trying to figure out how to tell James that I was done. I knew what James was capable of and I knew that I would be risking another beating when I told him but I'd rather get hurt than keep on giving him what he wanted… _control._

Edward moved to lie next to me, taking my hand in his and caressing it softly. "I'm scared too" he said softly looking at my fingers.

I moved my hand to his cheek and made him look at me, "Edward, don't worry about me ok? I'll be fine. I'm scared as hell too but I know that in the end, no matter what, this is for the best. It's time I told James that he's no good for me and he needs to understand that. Whether he wants to or not, I don't belong to him anymore and he'll have to get that through his head one way or another" I tried to convince him.

"Promise me you'll call me if things get bad" he asked.

"I can't do that Edward." I countered.

"Bella how am I supposed to know if you're safe when I can't even call you?" he was looking angry but at the same time I understood that he was scared. _I was scared. _

"Edward I'll be fine, and I promise if things get really bad then I'll call the police ok?" I lied. I knew I couldn't call the police. That would only make things much worse.

"Ok" he said as he hugged me closer to him. I felt safe here in his arms but even then, I couldn't shake the nervousness I felt when I thought about what was going to happen this weekend.

"Do you know how you're going to tell him?" Edward asked.

"Not really; I guess I'll know when the moment is right". Really I was hoping I could do it in a public place that way James would be forced to control himself; but it all depended on what his plans were for the weekend.

"Ok baby, just please be safe, I don't want you to get hurt once again" he said hugging me tighter than before.

"Edward, James has hurt me in ways people never thought possible, he can't possibly hurt me any further. I just want to be free from him so that I can start living my life once again."

Edward sighed and we stayed like that for the remainder of the morning.

We talked about things, about plans that we each had as individuals for the future. I was sure that someday Edward would make an amazing lawyer but he wasn't so sure. He tried to helping me choose between a History and an English major since I still wasn't completely convinced which way to go.

But as usual, the time goes right out the window when you want it to crawl instead, and I had to go back home to face my demons.

"Why hadn't you picked up the phone? What are you doing?" was the first thing to come out of James's mouth when I finally decided to pick up the phone.

"Cleaning the house as usual" I answered in a monotone voice.

"Let's go to the movies" he said.

"I don't think I can; I have lots of homework to do tonight" I lied smoothly.

"Man you always have homework! This is why I hate you going to college. What the hell do you need a degree for anyways?" he started the same argument… yet again. I was analyzing every word he said. I was trying to figure out how to do this. I was looking for anything that could give me the chance to jump and tell him that this was over.

"So that I can get a job James" I answered still in a nonchalant voice.

"I have a job and I dropped out of school" he countered. I could hear that he was getting agitated, but that was nothing new.

"Yeah well that's awesome and good for you but the job I _want_ requires a bachelor's degree!" I argued back.

"Whatever Bella let's go to the movies; I'll pick you up later in the afternoon. That should give you enough time to do your stupid homework" he said.

"James I can't. Plus my parents aren't home and I'm supposed to babysit Mrs. Webber's twins. I was thinking we could spend the afternoon looking after them." I told him.

I knew what his answer would be but after giving it much thought I figured that if I tried breaking up with James in public he most likely would cause a scene and I didn't want that. Therefore, I decided that I would force him to remain indoors for today. That Mrs. Webber had an emergency and needed a babysitter at last minute was just a bonus.

"You _what?_" he asked in an angry tone.

"I agreed to babysit Mrs. Webber's twins. She said it was an emergency when she came this morning and I couldn't deny her the help" I responded.

"So you decided that taking care of some fucking kids was more important than spending time with your boyfriend?"

"Wow, very mature conclusion James" I told him. I really didn't want to do this but I had a part to play so I would argue back until I figured out how to tell him.

"No Bella! Don't give me any of that bullshit! You _know _I don't get too see you that often and the _one _weekend I come here to try to spend time with you, you're taking care of some fucking kids! Seriously; is it that much to ask to not have shit to do the day I come and visit? Do you not give a shit about me or something?" he screamed.

"Look James is not like I'm some heartless bitch to tell my neighbor 'no' when she asks me for help. You know I'm not like that. I couldn't tell her 'no'; plus I don't want to go out today. I just want to stay home and chill." I tried calming him down by using a softer voice and almost cooing over the phone.

"Ugh Bella, don't you get it? I don't give a shit about your neighbor! Why can't you get that through your fucking thick skull that I don't give a shit about anybody else! I want you to do what I say. I want you to think about _me _for once. I want you to act like a fucking girlfriend" he kept on screaming and I was quickly reaching my limit.

"Fine James what the fuck do you want me to do?" I screamed back.

"Call Mrs. Webber, tell her you can't do it anymore 'cause you're going out. Then call your parents and tell them I'm taking you to the movies. I'll pick you up around six thirty; be ready." He finished.

I hanged up.

_Fuck him! I am not doing shit!_

I took a deep breath and tried calming down. I sat down on the sofa and dropped the phone next to me. I looked down at my hand and saw them shaking. I could feel my eyes burning with tears that wanted to fall. _Fuck I'm such a wreck today! _

I grabbed my phone again and made the phone call.

"Bella?" the sweet voice said.

"Edward I can't do this" I said and the tears finally rushed down my face.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" he asked. I could hear worry in his voice and I instantly felt bad for bugging him so much.

"Yeah I'm fine I'm just nervous" I answered honestly.

_I was terrified of doing this._

"Bella I'm not trying to push you but I promise this is just going to get harder the more you wait. You need to end things with that asshole and get him as far away from you as possible. I would hate to see you get hurt" he answered.

"I know" I took a deep breath. "Sorry for worrying you; I just needed to hear your voice" I told him.

Edward chuckled. "Nah it's ok baby, I always want to hear your voice" he said. _Gosh this man is perfect. _

I remained quiet for a while. I took another deep breath and tried to plan out for the millionth time today how to proceed.

"Ok well I have to go. Thanks for being there for me Edward" I said.

"No problem beautiful. Take care and remember, if things get bad _Please _call the cops ok?"

"Yeah I will. Bye Edward" I said.

"Bye baby" he replied and then I hanged up.

I thanked God over and over again for putting Edward in my way. He was my peace in all of this mess and I didn't know what I would do without him.

I took a deep breath, _yet again,_ and I figured out what to do next.

I dialed James's number again.

"You hanged up on me" was the first thing to come out of his mouth. _Is it too much to ask for a fucking greeting?_

"Hi to you too" I said sarcastically.

"What did your dad say?" he ignored me.

"They said no. I told them I wanted to go out and they said no because they wanted me home today" I lied.

"Why?" he asked and I could hear him getting angry.

"I don't know they just said they wanted me home today" I responded.

"At what time will they come back?" he asked.

"I don't know, later tonight I guess"

"Well then let's go! We'll go to the movies and come back before they get back" the smartass finished.

"No I can't just leave. What if they come back early?" I asked.

"No they won't. Your parents always take forever whenever they go out. Let's just go Bella. You're wasting time by arguing with me."

"I'm not going to disobey my parents James; they said I can't go out so I can't."

I hear James groan in anger on the other end. "You know what? Fine, you don't want to disobey your parents: call them again and ask again. Bug them until they say yes! I'm sure they'll get annoyed and let you go out eventually. I have some things to do. I'll call you in a bit and I'll pick you up later to go to the movies" he hanged up after that.

I pace around my room for half an hour until Mrs. Webber comes to drop off her baby twins.

Hayley and Nathan are 4 year old twins that are very cute and well behaved and I've baby sat them before so they don't act so shy around me.

I play around with them and we color some books together but the whole time I'm trying to figure out how to do this… it seems that the one day I need it the most, my brain has gone missing.

Around five thirty James texts me and my whole body freezes when I see his name pop up on my screen.

_**So did they say yes? – James**_

I text him back and tell him that they said no and that I need to stop harassing them. He obviously gets pissed off and texts me that he'll be here at 7:00 to pick me up.

I ignore his message and keep on entertaining the twins. As the clock on the living room keeps on getting closer to seven I get more and more nervous and I'm at the point of shutting down but I keep myself from crying because I have the twins with me and I don't know how they would react if I just burst out in tears.

At around 6:40 James calls me. I leave the twins in the living room watching _Lion King _while I go to the kitchen to take the call.

"Hey you ready?" James asks the moment I pick up the call

I decide to just be honest since I don't really have a plan after all; "No I'm not going"

"Why not?" his voice sounds nonchalant but I know better.

"I already told you, my parents want me home." I forgo mentioning that I have the twins with me because that would just make it worse.

He chuckles "You still don't get it do you?" he asks.

"I don't get what?" I play stupid.

"I don't care if your parents don't want you out. If I say that we're going out than we are going out, no if's, and's, or but's! I'm on my way to pick you up ok, be ready or I swear Bella there will be hell to pay" he threatens.

His threat fills me with rage and I lash out "You know what? Fuck you James. you're not my fucking dad to tell me what the fuck I need to do. If I don't want to go then who the fuck are you to force me? Fuck you! I'm not going out and if I were you, I wouldn't come around here either 'cause I don't want to see your fucking face right now. I'm so sick of your shit!" I scream and hang up.

I take a deep breath and try to calm down. I look towards the living room and don't see Hayley.

"Hayley?" I ask out loud.

"Hi Bella" she says from behind me. I jump when I hear her talk. I turn around and I look at her and by her expression I can tell she heard everything I said to James. _Shit!_

"Hey sweetheart, come here please" I tell her and she comes to me. She's looking at me like she's scared and I'm sure my face resembles hers as well. _I'm so fucking scared right now!_

"Look, I'm sorry I yelled ok? I didn't mean to say that and you shouldn't say it either ok?" I tell her once I have her on my lap and I'm sitting in the sofa.

Hayley nods her head and very slowly a smile spreads across her face. I smile back at her and tickle her tummy until she starts giggling. _Phew! Nice save!_

I look at Nathan and he's very engrossed with the movie so I let him be.

Just as I'm putting Hayley back down on the floor I see some headlights flash across the living room. _James is here!_

I quickly stop the DVD and take it out. I turn the TV off and then tell Hayley and Nathan to follow me upstairs. I take them to my parent's room since James doesn't have a view of that room.

As I reach upstairs I can feel my phone vibrate but I ignore it. I have to care for the twins first.

I turn on the lights and I play the DVD for the twins on my parent's TV. Once they are sitting quietly again I tell them I will go get them a snack but that they need to stay in the room.

I go back downstairs and still feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I pull it out and answer it as I'm walking toward the kitchen.

"What do you want?" I mutter

"Come on I'm outside already" James said in a very frustrated tone.

"I told you I'm not going so I suggest you leave" I tell him while I'm making some cheese sandwiches for the kiddos.

"Bella let's go. Don't waste my time" he says quietly.

"What part of I'M NOT GOING don't you understand?" I ask getting frustrated once again.

"Bella. let's. go!" he punctuates his words.

"I'm. Not. Going!" I punctuate back and hang up on him.

I finish the sandwiches while I'm ignoring the phone. I turn off all the lights downstairs and go up to the room. I give Hayley and Nathan their snack while I ignore mine. My stomach is turning and I _know _I won't be able to handle food with this state of mind.

I don't feel like sitting down so I pace the room when I hear the doorbell ring.

The kids look at me thinking is their mom but I assured them is not and that we all need to stay in the room. The least I need right now is for James to find out that I have them here with me.

My phone is still vibrating and James is still ringing the doorbell. I finally pick up the phone and James voice sounds very angry.

"You need to stop hanging up on me Bella. You're pissing me off. Why are you acting up? Open the fucking door Bella I want to talk to you!" he screams.

"James I'm serious when I tell you that you need to leave." I warn him.

"And what if I don't want to leave Bella? What are you going to do? Open the fucking door!" he yells and I hear him pounding on the door.

My heart is beating faster and I'm starting to think that having the twins with me was not the brightest idea ever. I decide that it's now or never and I take a deep breath.

"James, I recommend you leave before I call the police. Look, this obviously isn't working. You don't like the things I do and I don't agree with how you treat me so please leave and let's just end this right here. No harm done."

The phone is quiet for about a minute but then I hear James laugh.

"So that's it then? You're breaking up with me?" he asks and the indignation is dripping from his every word.

"Look James, we both know this hasn't been working for a very long time. Things aren't normal. Normal couples don't argue all the time; they don't treat each other with disdain like we do. I know I've tried to please you and do everything right by you but obviously that's impossible and I'm sure you think you've done right by me. Like I said, we're not a normal couple. They have a healthy relationship and that's something that we don't have. I think we can both own up to that and just move on with our own lives. It's for the best." I explain.

"Huh I guess you're right and we could both admit that we've made mistakes…" he ponders and a flash of hope crosses my heart.

_Please God help him understand!_

"So you want me to leave?" he asks. The pounding on the door has ceased and seconds later I hear his car door slam shut.

"Yes please" I mutter.

He stays quiet for a second and just when I'm starting to feel relief he chuckles the coldest chuckle I've heard in my entire life. His chuckles give way to guffaw and fear settles once again in my stomach.

"Oh wow that's funny! You know what Bella? I'm going to be the nice guy and I'm going to tell you that you are about to make a _huge _mistakes. But even better, I'm going to stop you before you make that mistake" he's still chuckling.

I can feel my blood running through my veins faster and my heart speeding up. This is what I was scared of the entire time. James is going to act up! _Fuck my life! _

"James _please_ don't do anything stupid" I plead.

"Oh don't worry I'm not going to. Like I said, I'm going to stop you from making a mistake" he says with amusement in his voice.

"What do you mean?" I ask feeling panic rising within me.

James then starts talking with the coldest voice I've ever heard; venom dropping in every voice.

"Dear Bella, I'm going to give you about two minutes to open that fucking door. If you don't open it then _I _will open it. I don't care if you call your mom, your dad, your neighbors or the fucking police. I swear to God if you don't open that door in two minutes then today will be that last time you will ever breathe Bella. So sweetheart if I were you I would open that door 'cause like I said: if you don't then you won't live to see tomorrow. So… what's it gonna be?"

**A/N: **I know it's really short but hopefully the next one will be up soon… so what did you guys think?

- have y'all seen the Breaking Dawn trailer? Did y'all like it?-

Well… until next time… leave a comment please!


	23. A Vindictive Love

**A/N: **An ok guy here's the next chapter. Thank you so much for reviewing the last one! You guys are great.

A special thanks to _**SthepanieMeyerRules**_ for trying to get my story out there! You're awesome!

**Disclaimer:** All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyers…. I just like adding drama to their lives! : )

**Chapter Song: **All the World by Fauxliage

**A Vindictive Love**

I'll break you down  
I'll take you down, down  
Fill you with sadness  
Make your life madness

I'm having a hard time  
I'm making you do the hard time too.  
I'm stuck in a bad way  
And I'm gonna make you pay for it.

Give me a mile  
I'll take a hundred miles  
Such a mistake  
Sorry you make

**Last Chapter:**

"_James _please_, don't do anything stupid" I plead. _

"_Oh don't worry I'm not going to. Like I said, I'm going to stop you from making a mistake" he says with amusement in his voice. _

"_What do you mean?" I ask feeling panic rising within me._

_James then starts talking with the coldest voice I've ever heard; venom dropping in every voice._

"_Dear Bella, I'm going to give you about two minutes to open that fucking door. If you don't open it then I will open it. I don't care if you call your mom, your dad, your neighbors or the fucking police. I swear to God if you don't open that door in two minutes then today will be that last time you will ever breathe Bella. So sweetheart if I were you I would open that door 'cause like I said: if you don't then you won't live to see tomorrow. So… what's it gonna be?"_

**BPOV:**

"So what's it gonna be baby?" he asked again with a mocking sickly sweet voice. My heart was racing and I could feel myself start sweating.

I hung up the phone and started pacing the living room as I dialed once again. My thoughts went back to Haley and Nathan in the room upstairs. James definitely couldn't step into the house. I thought about things and analyzed the situation, conscious that I had little time to make up my mind. Yet, this decision would make or break the rest of my life.

"Hello"

"Hey dad, it's Bella, when are you guys getting home?"

"Oh hey baby girl, we're on our way already we should be there in about half an hour, why is there a problem?" _shit! _

"No dad everything's fine I was just checking 'cause I'm here all alone with the twins and I was wondering what time you guys were getting home. But I'll see you when y'all get here ok? Bye"

"Ok? We'll see you in a bit baby girl, love you" I hung up with a big knot on my throat knowing that was probably the last 'I love you' I would hear from my dad in a very long time.

_Fuck this!... _I took a deep breath and went running upstairs.

"Haley, Nathan, I need you both to please, _please_ stay here and don't come out ok? Watch the movie and I'll be back in a little bit with some snacks. You guys like animal crackers?" I asked tapping my fingers against the door frame. I needed to get downstairs like _now!_

"Yes", Haley answered for both of them.

"Ok, I'll be right back but remember, don't walk out of the room ok? You have to stay here"

With that I took off running down the stairs. When I reached the door I took a deep breath. I made sure my phone was in my pocket, took the house keys, and then opened the door.

James's car was in the driveway and he was sitting behind the wheel. I locked the door and then walked toward James. I moved to where he was sitting and he lowered the window.

"Nice to see you babe" he teased with a big smile plastered on his face.

"Give me your keys" I demanded.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, give me your keys- I'm not about to let you drive out of here without us solving this problem" I lied.

He grunted, "Fine", and turn off his engine. He then passed the keys to me. I took them and then walked over to the mailbox on my driveway. I opened it and stuck the keys there. James was watching me the entire time but I was past caring.

I walked back to the car and I got into the passenger side. James had an amused face on and I was just acting mechanically. I couldn't let my emotions show if I was going to pull through with this whole thing.

"Ok I'm out here, what do you want?" I asked without looking at him.

"Bella is not about what I want anymore; I'm done giving you an option and letting you choose when you feel like pleasing me. I don't want anything. I got what I wanted from you a long time ago. As a matter of fact I remember you willingly giving me what I wanted." His index finger was trailing up my thigh but I slapped his hand away to which his answer was just a smirk.

"That's what I love about you" he sighed.

I wasn't thinking about anything. If I stopped to analyze what he was saying I wouldn't get this done.

"What is that?" I asked just looking out the window still.

"That you're smart. You pick up on things unlike any other airheads out there. You know I don't care about you. Hell I wonder if you even know that you're not the only one I fuck on a regular basis! Anyways, my point is Bella that you are different from other girls. You are smart, you have a plan and goals in life, you want to get somewhere, you envision who you want to be and you work towards that goal. You work hard and you never even complain about everything you do around this house" he said pointing toward my house.

I just continued to listen without interrupting him.

"You endure everything life throws at you. Every hardship, you overcome it and that's what I love about you… your strength"

"So what are you getting at?" I asked with a monotone voice.

"I'm getting at Bella, that you are _so strong_, yet you are so easy to break" I finally looked at him and he smiled at me.

"Ok, you're going to have to explain yourself better" I told him. I was trying to stall him… my parents would be home soon.

"Look at it this way Bella. I think of you as an unconditional lover. You give everything you have to everyone you love. You would do anything for your friends. You do everything your parents tell you because you love them, and you dedicate yourself to doing things that will please those around you. Yet, you are lonely. You have no one." He paused.

_Liar! He was lying!_

"If you needed a favor right now, I doubt anyone would come to help you. You don't have anyone. Your parents don't talk much to you unless is to tell you what to do. You didn't have friends at school, 'cause I made sure that didn't happen. You don't go out unless is with me because I say so. And if you died today, no one would come to your funeral. You see Bella? You are an unconditional lover. You give although you don't receive. You help even though you are not helped, and you love even though you are not loved back. You always give one hundred percent of you but you almost never receive anything in return. You are selfless and you have no sense of self-preservation at all. You open your heart to everyone and anyone knowing that you most likely will get burned." He finished.

I looked back out the window and just kept on trying to numb out everything he was saying. _He couldn't be right could he?_

"How is that something to love?" I asked.

"Bella, you don't see? That makes me your only hope. You are a lonely person Bella. You have no friends, you have no relationship with your parents, you have no life, but you _do _have _me. _I am the only person you can rely on. I have cut away from your life every other form of reliance and left you with only one way out. I am your only exit Bella. If you want to live your life, you _have _to rely on me."

I was trying so hard to not let any of his words affect me that I remained quiet. _He's not right! I have friends!_

"But you're making a _huge _mistake Bella. You want to get rid of your only foundation. You want to leave me and move on with your life. You want to become some kind of teacher and help the world become a better place. But you have no way out Bella! You're stuck with me. I mean, answer me this: who's going to want a used up girl that has been thoroughly fucked within an inch of her life and has nothing else to give? Nobody would even want to be your friend if they knew what a dirty slut you are Bella." He said in a calm voice.

_Think about Alice Bella! She's your friend. _

_Jasper is also your friend… but only because Alice is your friend… no! That's also not true!_

_Your parents love you! They will still love you after you tell them the truth… or maybe they won't…_

_Edward will still love you! He would never stop loving you! _

"What's even more amusing is that you're scared. You're scared of what your parents will think of you once they know what an easy whore you have become. They will disown you and you know it! You fear their rejection. You're scared of anyone finding out your little secret! Can you imagine what would happen if the whole town found out about your slutty ways Bella?" he chuckled.

"God that would be _so hilarious _to watch! Bella, you are scared of not fitting in. You want to be accepted by everyone yet, you don't feel like you belong! You have this secret eating away at you and you appear to be strong but you're really not. This is where your entire act falls down Bella Swan. You, the amazingly strong person, have become weak! You dear Bella are now at my mercy." He finished.

My brain wasn't functioning right. I need to stop listening to him. I needed to get out of here. I needed to go check on the twins. _Where the hell were my parents?_

"But enough of the chit chats" James continued while I just remained quiet… slowly losing my mind.

"I am a kind person Bella. I am going to warn you before I act ok? I'm only going to tell you this once and after that the ball will be in your court ok?" I remained quiet, looking at the window.

Suddenly my head was yanked back by my hair "I'm talking to you little bitch! Answer me!" James raised his voice.

My head started pounding and I felt my stomach churn. "I heard you" I stated. _Do NOT cry Bella!_

"Good 'cause I won't say this again." He still had me by the hair and I just wanted him to let go but I wasn't in the position to negotiate with James. He also had reached his limit.

"If you want your precious daddy, whom you love so much, to keep on breathing… and you as well for that matter, you will make the right decision. Now I don't have to tell you what the right decision is, like I said, you're a smart girl and you pick up on things quickly. But it goes without saying that things will change from now on ok? Obviously if you were courageous enough to attempt to leave me is because your leash is not put on tight enough. Now are you going to be a good bitch for me Bella, or am I going to have to kill daddy while I make you watch and then kill you?" he asked and pulled my hair even tighter.

My heart was working double time and the nervousness and stress I had been under the entire day was making itself known in my stomach. I hadn't had any food at all today and I felt like my stomach wanted to empty itself out anyways.

_My father! He couldn't hurt him! NOT HIM!_

I could feel my eyes burning and the wetness I felt seconds later on my hands were proof of my weakness. James was right… I was weak. I had no one.

For a moment I could see how right James was. I really depended on no one but him… my parents trusted him, the whole town would find out about my indecency if James talked. _He had me trapped. _

I had no option but to nod my head. The movement once again pulled at my hair and the tears were now a constant in my face.

"Why are you doing this?" I pondered uselessly.

"For no reason at all, or maybe just because since my life is hell… I might as well make yours hell too right?"

The tears kept on rolling down my cheek while I futilely tried to stop them.

James chuckled. "You see baby… this is why I love you. Because when you're in my hands, you open up and show me just how fragile you are. You become a weak little puppy who needs nurturing care and love. Well, I'm going to show you that love ok?" he said and I felt his hand go in between my legs.

I whimpered and he stopped to look at me.

The pressure in my head let up when he took his hand off of it. I turned to look at him and what I saw amazed me.

James's face was the epitome of concern. He really looked _worried. _

"Are you ok baby?" he asked as his hands came up to caress my face. He attempted to wipe away my tears but more kept on replacing the ones he wiped away.

_I need to get out of here. _

I cleared my throat so that I could speak.

"James, my parents are about to get here. They would get suspicious if they saw me like this. I need to go inside to clean up ok? I promise I'll call you as soon as I can. I just don't want my parents asking questions. Please?" I begged.

He kept on looking at me with concern and for just a second I wondered what James's mental state was.

He took a deep breath and looked like he was thinking about it.

"Ok baby you make a good point… we don't want the parental units asking questions. I will let you go then… but remember our talk ok? I hate seeing you cry baby and the more you behave the less those precious tears will fall… does that make sense?"

_Thank you God!_

I nodded, yet again.

"Ok, well I'm leaving then. But give me a kiss first baby" he said as he leaned forward.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt his lips on me and my body, which was still in autopilot, reacted. I placed my hands in his hair and I pulled him towards me. Our lips battled for dominance but mine became submissive and allowed him to lead… like he always did.

After we separated our breaths were ragged. I was looking at James in the eyes and I saw happiness fill them. A huge smile graced his face and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Wow that was great baby! I've thought my little virgin well" he smiled once again.

"Ok I have to go inside" I said as I took my hands from his hair.

"Ok baby" he muttered.

I opened the door and got off the car, my legs hurting from sitting still for so long.

"Look at me baby" James said.

I turned around and looked him in the eye.

"What do you say every time you walk away little bitch?" he asked gently

I swallowed and cleared my throat. "I love you James"

He looked back at me and smiled. "I know you do".

With that I started walking towards my house. I unlocked the door and quickly walked in the house, locking the door once again. I dimly heard a car door slamming, signaling that James had gotten off the car to get his keys. I looked out the window and waited for him to leave. When he did I ran to the restroom.

I quickly emptied my stomach of whatever it was I had in it. I stayed there on my knees for God knows how long until I mustered energy to get up and brush my teeth.

I didn't think about anything at all as I fetched the animal crackers and placed them in plates for Haley and Nathan to eat. I grabbed some napkins and I even filled their Sippy cups with orange juice.

I walked upstairs and when I opened the door Haley and Nathan immediately came up to me.

"Hey guys! So do y'all like the movie?" I asked them.

They both nodded but were obviously more interested in the snacks I had in my hands.

"Ok let's go downstairs again" I told them to which they complied quickly so they could get their snacks.

My body was still on autopilot and I just wasn't thinking about anything specific… _I would lose it if I did. _

I sat with the kids while they watched the rest of the movie. I also texted Edward to let him know I had gotten rid of James already. His reply came immediately.

**Are you ok Bella? – E**

**Yeah I'm fine – B**

He then called me but I sent him straight to voicemail. I couldn't talk to him. _James was right. _

A while later Mrs. Webber came to pick up the twins. She was very appreciative and paid me well. But then she asked me if I was ok. I knew then that I needed to get a grip.

I told her I was fine and when she believed me, she left.

I idly wondered where my parents were at but I figured they made a stop at a restaurant or some store on their way back from Seattle.

I went straight to the shower after that. I could feel warm tears running down my face together with the water from the shower. Yet, I felt nothing. Once again I was numb. I couldn't think about anything. I just did one thing at a time. I focused on my shower and then on getting into my pajamas and so on.

When I walked into my room I could hear my phone ringing. I looked at the screen and noticed it was Alice. Once again I sent it straight to voicemail. When I did that my screen showed that I had more missed calls. I looked through them and saw that they were all from Edward and Alice. _Oh well…_

I ran downstairs and grabbed a cup of water. I wasn't hungry and so I just grabbed a granola bar and went back upstairs. When I closed my door I heard my parents coming in.

Surprisingly enough, they didn't call me downstairs at all. I guess they had already eaten since I wasn't called to make dinner.

I stayed in my room and just popped in my headphones. As usual music saved me from everything else. I blocked everything that had happened today and just hummed along to the Hinder, Staind, and Crossfade. They're lyrics were amazing but I also didn't pay attention to that. I was just allowing the beat to drown out all feelings and it worked.

At some point and time James texted me and called me but I ignored both and just kept on listening to the music. _He would probably think I fell asleep anyways._

When I finally felt my parents heading to their rooms I took a deep breath and shut off the music. I waited for them to shut their bedroom door close and walked out of my bedroom.

I stood in front of their room for five minutes contemplating what to do next.

_Well here goes nothing. _

I knocked and my mom opened the door immediately.

"Hey Bella how was your day?" my mom asked letting me in.

"It was ok" I lied

"Hi daddy" I walked timidly toward him

"Hey baby girl how are you?" he said as he leaned down so that I could kiss his cheek.

I felt like Judah at that moment. I was about to betray my dad's trust and love. He would certainly disown me after this. I felt my heart constrict at the thought and I could feel my eyes burn with tears but I pushed them away.

"I'm ok" I lied once again. "Hmm I actually wanted to talk to you guys about something…" I stammered.

My dad was taking off his watch and taking out his wallet from his back pocket. "Sure Bells, what ya need?" he asked nonchalantly.

I took a deep breath, not letting any thoughts seep my mind; it was already too late to wonder if this was the right thing to do or not.

"Hmm I had a problem with James today" I whispered.

My mom stopped on her tracks to the bathroom and looked at me. "What happened?" she asked.

"Hmm I…" I looked down to the floor, not being able to face them or to see the way they reacted to my news; I once again took a deep breath and let it out. "I… tried breaking up with James today and he kind of said some things…"

"Why were you breaking up with him?" my dad interrupted.

"Things just weren't working out anymore" I lied again.

"What do you mean things weren't working out Bella?" My mom spoke next, "You're always talking to the boy, and going out with him, so how is it that things weren't working out?"

A thousand thoughts seeped into my head once again. My mind kept on telling me that I couldn't, and _shouldn't _hurt my parents like this, and just like that I made a decision.

I spoke with no hesitation, "Look I'm just going to say that things weren't working out, we fought a lot and not just today. The point is that he threatened me if I tried breaking up."

With my peripheral view I saw my dad immediately freeze. "What do you mean he threatened you?" he asked. This was Chief Swan speaking and not my daddy.

I sighed, "I tried telling him that maybe we shouldn't be together anymore. He got angry and threatened to kill me" I said in a quick breath.

"Bella look at me!" my dad startled me when he yelled. When I looked at him all I saw was fury in his eyes. My heart started beating fast once again.

He started walking towards me and I attempted to step back but I guess I hadn't noticed that I was already leaning against the wall of their bedroom.

My dad stood in front of me, his gaze hard as steel and filled with fury "Did he hurt you?"

For one quick second I thought about my answer but I had already made up my mind. I looked back at him and with no hesitation answered "no he didn't"

My dad stared at me and then turned around. I managed a look into my mom's direction and she looked confused. She met my eyes and then looked at my dad. "What are we going to do about this?"

"What did he tell you when he left?" My dad asked.

"I managed to calm him down and he left happy not knowing I would tell you guys" I felt better once I answered at least _one _question honestly.

He looked at me and then looked at my mom. He went back to retreat his wallet and his watch and immediately started putting it on. "Where are you going?" my mother asked him.

"To his house" Dad answered sullenly.

"It's too late Charlie" my mom rationalized.

My dad looked at the alarm clock on his bedside. The clock read 11:45. _Wow where had the day gone?_

"Look let's just deal with this tomorrow, it's already late and we all need some rest" She said looking at me. My face must have shown the battle I fought against myself today. "I'll stay home tomorrow to make sure he doesn't come around" she said looking at my dad.

My dad thought about it for a little while and then nodded. _And that was that. _

I said goodnight and my dad just muttered a feeble 'night' back to me. My mom just gave me another puzzled look but didn't say anything else.

I walked backed to my room and just threw myself on the bed with tears falling from my eyes.

As I went over the conversation I had with James and the one I had just had with my parents one thought kept on popping into my head.

_This isn't going to end well. _

**A/N: hmm yeah… did I mention this is where things go downhill? Well now you know… So… interesting talk with James? There's lots of foreshadowing there! And Bella wasn't completely honest with her parents was she? She's also ignoring poor Edward…. Phew! This girl is about to break down! **_**Again!**_

**PLEASE REVIEW! And see y'all next chapter! **


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